Benzo Buddies members willing to do #2 in their pants for Ashton

Anybody feel like they are going to go #2 in their pants during panic attacks?
« on: May 03, 2018, 12:06:18 am »

[Buddie]

Just wondered how many out there struggle with this one. It used to be vomiting during attacks now I have trouble feeling like I’m going to go in my pants or I can’t go number 1 without feeling like I’m going to go #2 during an attack.. :'( Hopefully that makes sense ???

Re: Anybody feel like they are going to go #2 in their pants during panic attacks?
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2018, 12:42:26 am »

[Buddie]

Hahahaha! Well, not exactly. That might just be you, but I have wanted to vomit and die.

Re: Anybody feel like they are going to go #2 in their pants during panic attacks?
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2018, 03:58:15 am »

[Buddie]

Not me, but I do know somehow who actually did poo their pants during panic attack.

I had taken her to the hospital to discuss with surgeon possible hernia surgery and the poor little thing poo’d her pants. The nursing staff said it was fairly common in extreme anxiety. Beautifully too, the nursing staff were ever so kind and did not embarrass her.

And don’t think for a moment that I believe myself to be immune. I’m no better equipped than the next poor soul.

:smitten:

[…]

Cult members endure shameful diarrhea episodes in order to satisfy insane Benzo Buddies tapering demands

Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« on: March 07, 2018, 10:16:10 pm »

[Buddie]

Starting on Sunday, the minute I feel any stress or anxiety diarrhea hits & im running for the bathroom. It was coupled with insomnia on Sunday night, but I was home. Today, I was at the mall, not cool.
Any suggestions? Anything I should avoid eating or should eat? I don’t have much of an appetite.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018, 11:12:18 pm »

[Buddie]

This makes me not want to be here… censor my title and move my post.

This really is my worst side effect so far & wanted some input on anything that can help alive it.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 11:29:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I believe that diarrhea is a common effect when you stop benzos completely, it happened to me but after a month or six weeks went away – and I have a very sensitive stomach anyway. Try eating a lot of white rice with your meals, and stay away from cake and other sweets for a while.

« Last Edit: March 08, 2018, 12:13:08 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 11:39:42 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m sorry that you are going through this , but believe me you are not alone. When I am in a bad wave my colon acts up and sh-t happens:laugh: My worst moments were on a long drive from Northern C.A. to B.C. Canada. I had foolishly enjoyed Panda Express for lunch in Medford. It was a wild ride to the pit stop. What stops the crap dead in it’s tracks is over the counter immodium. I keep it for true emergencies and it seems to be O.K. as far as affecting withdrawal symptoms.

This stuff is unpleasant but like everything else it will get better.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2018, 12:55:48 am »

[Buddie]

I had this too last summer and I jumped in June. I would get up 3-7 X a night to go poopy. I was losing weight because I had no appetite except for specific things and they would go right through me. My pants got baggy. I was scared.

By September/October this resolved and I got a healthy appetite back. Now I wish my pants were loose.

[…]

Benzo Buddies cult members wallow in filth ridden benzo-homes in pursuit of eternal taper

My home is one big mess
« on: February 28, 2018, 10:30:33 am »

[Buddie]

I’m really ashamed, but that’s the truth. I don`t usually like this, but I can`t clean. I live alone.

Is it just me who has this, how are you? Do you have any tips?

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2018, 11:31:01 am »

[Buddie]

Hey […]-

I too had this the first 6 months or so when I was in acute phase. I am normally a very tidy person. I have always like things organized & put in place. I was in such bad condition that I was not physically able to do ANYTHING. I literally sat in my chair with laptop or lay in bed for 6 months. It actually may have been longer (I would have to go read my journal but I still am not able to go back & look though that journal PTSD issues :( ) Anyhow,  I do remember at the time telling myself “it is ok, you can deal with this later”.  So I lived in squalor for all that time because I truly had NO one to help me. So just tell yourself that “it is ok & that you will deal with it later when you are better able to cope”. That is all you need to do… :thumbsup:  :smitten:

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2018, 11:49:01 am »

[Buddie]

My house is also much more messy than before because I have less energy and I need to save it for the essential. It’s a benzo-home 

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2018, 11:57:21 am »

[Buddie]

Same as you guys, it was on of the first things to go south. I think it began due to the mental anxiety of the unknown road ahead, I would find myself needing to be distracted positively and not doing things like house work. Then I could not lift a finger without my heart racing and suffering symptoms as I cleaned.

Ironically, I feel soooo much better if the place is clean though 

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2018, 01:14:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I was keeping up until the valium sedated me so badly. Now, unfortunately it has gotten away from me. My husband does quite a bit but he works all week as well. oh well, it will be here when I feel better again. We’ll tackle it then. I am predicting a lot of stuff that has needed to be thrown away will get thrown away then 

Re: My home is one big mess
 « Reply #5 on: February 28, 2018, 02:01:32 pm »

[Buddie]

The worst part is when my friends come with my food, they have to wait in the doorway, I don`t want to let anyone in. It feels so bad! But maybe I can clean tomorrow? No….

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2018, 02:08:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been messy for a while now, and I really think benzo brain is to blame. I mean, even back when I was still taking them, as prescribed, I had a hard time managing and keeping things clean. I stopped caring what others think about my mess a while ago. I’ll let people in. You would be surprised how many people have times where their places or someone they know is so messy. My old landlady used to come once a month and clean my house with me. That was always so much easier to have someone else to clean with.

I had a cleaning person for a little while, but I think I was too friendly with her, because I felt like she was taking advantage of me. She would mop all the floors and then dump the buckets in the bathttub and leave a giant muddy mess in my bathtub and all my floors would be sopping wet. Then when I asked her to dry the floors she would come up with weird excuses. In fact, she had a ton of excuses. One time I asked her to clean the oven and she told me a whole sob story about how she was chemically burned from oven cleaner. It was so annoying cause she could have cleaned the oven with just regular soap and water, instead of just taking up all that time to tell me the story.

Oh I am very talkative today.

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2018, 04:22:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Whenever I go into rough patch, my place is an absolute mess. I’m embarrassed about it, but my OCD thoughts about recovery are so overwhelming that I lose sight of connecting with the normal part of myself. Once I get over the hurdle, then I start cleaning again. But then I get into another rough patch. This has been going on for years, and I see no way of it ending until I start feeling really well.

You’re not alone, believe me!!

Re: My home is one big mess
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2018, 05:49:56 pm »

[Buddie]

My entire life is in disarray because of this. And it isn’t that I lack the physical ability to do something about it, it is because my organizational skills are so bad that if I move things around I have a very hard time finding them again. The lack of motivation to do anything productive is the icing on the cake. Those two things make it very difficult for me to keep everything clean and organized.

Benzo Buddies Bedridden Club throws a party

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1089 on: January 27, 2018, 04:19:54 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s going to be a bad circle of all, getting so sad because I can`t do anything. My home is a mess. It feels like I’m stuck, nothing will happen to anything.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1090 on: January 30, 2018, 02:29:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi […], I feel exactly the same. I am looking round this room at the moment and there are so many things to do and yet I can’t get motivated to do them. My Mum came to see me yesterday and it was so difficult talking to her. This is my own mother!
I know there is a pile of pots downstairs waiting to be washed but I am in bed and cannot summon the energy to do them. Maybe I might be able to do them later, I don’t know.
I’m glad this group is up and running again. Please chip in, anyone who is bedbound for physical or mental reasons. Or both.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1091 on: January 30, 2018, 02:50:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 30, 2018, 02:29:27 pm
My Mum came to see me yesterday and it was so difficult talking to her. This is my own mother!

Don’t feel bad about it, this happens to many people during withdrawal, me included. Last Sunday a cousin came to visit me, but I didn’t even come out of my room. I know it’s rude, but I just didn’t have it in me, I simply couldn’t do it. I stayed in my bed all day.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1092 on: January 30, 2018, 02:51:27 pm »

[Buddie]

In bed daily with mental; a year off all meds and so much worse-feel it has to be toxicity in my case…keep getting more and more symptoms…

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1093 on: January 30, 2018, 03:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m so sorry for your situation, Brainwarp. Everything you went through in your taper was in order to feel better when you were eventually off the tablets and now you feel worse. I hope you improve soon. Meanwhile stick around this thread. It got your answer and an answer from Ginger in about twenty minutes so it must have some relevance to quite a few people.

Ginger, thanks for your answer. I do feel bad when family members come to visit and I find myself looking forward to the next day when they are gone. The worst one is when my bf’s parents come and stay for two or three days. Thinking about that now makes me feel scared. Sorry you couldn’t see your cousin.

I managed to get up and wash the dishes. They will have to dry by themselves….

THIS TAPER FAILED

Considering Reinstatement
« on: January 24, 2018, 04:11:57 am »

[Buddie]

I’m considering going back on the diazepam because my sx’s are too unbearable. I’ve been stuck in bed for 2 1/2 weeks now and can barely take care of myself. I keep having severe intense panic attacks, my body hurts so bad all over, and have intense feeling of terror all the time. I no longer feel in control of my body and it is frightening. I also have been experiencing bouts of akathisia.

This all started 4 years ago when I tried to taper off of paroxetine. The severe insomnia is what got me started on diazepam to begin with. I reinstated half my paroxetine dose but I never really stabilized and the diazepam seemed to take the edge off. I’m starting to think maybe the paroxetine is causing the terrible panic attacks and terror now and I need to try to slowly taper off of it first.

I don’t really know if this is a good decision or not but I’m at my wit’s end. 4 long years of no life and living in terror now is horrendous! Any thoughts on this?

Re: Considering Reinstatement
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2018, 04:26:26 am »

[Buddie]

explore your options before you reinstate. if you reinstate the pain and suffering will continue forever, it will never end.

i felt like you once did, but i am 18 (or so?) months out now and i feel much better and i feel free and happiness and freedom are right around the corner.

Re: Considering Reinstatement
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2018, 07:28:20 am »

[Buddie]

hi, paxil did this to me. doctors think theres no withdrawals from ssri and stuff but this is not true. paxil has lots of akathisia and nasty symptoms. just same intense as benzos