Lost my job due to withdrawal. It's time to go back on. What now?
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:03:09 pm »
My arduous journey with benzodiazepine drugs didn’t begin until August of 2015. I started taking 10mg of valium per day. Fast forward to a year later, and my initial efforts at trying to cease usage commenced. Work got tough, and I had to jump back on. The new year started (2017), and I once again made the attempt.
Long story short, valium withdrawal makes it impossible for me to function at work. I cannot concentrate, I make mistakes, and it makes me an unpleasant person. This resulted in me being pushed out of my job. I am very fortunate that I got another one, but I am very fearful of ever attempting to come off again. I’m going to be making an appointment with a psychiatrist once again and just be straight with them – I need this drug to function and hold down a job.
For me, honestly, outside of my job – I feel the withdrawal process was actually ok. I haven’t had huge problems sleeping, although I reliably wakeup after about 5 hours of sleep. Socially, I feel like I’m doing ok. It’s really only at work where my anxiety level about whether or not I would be fired was over the top.
Almost everything else I can live with, but the lack of concentration, drive, and focus is very bad. Even with a gradual taper, it was debilitating. My job requires both drive and extreme concentration and attention to detail. I lose all of that during withdrawal.
My plan is to see a new psychiatrist, and explain that I need to get stable for a few months with whatever drugs are necessary, and then commence either a very long taper or an inpatient treatment center (if I can afford it).
One thing that concerns me is my aggression that is heightened during withdrawal. I really feel like it might be worth asking a psychiatrist for prozac or something similar in addition to the valium. Maybe even lithium.
I know a lot of people here have just as difficult of a time as me, but please keep in mind, I cannot easily just take 3-4 months off.
Today, it almost seems like I should just accepting being an addict until such time as I can attempt another taper or detox clinic.
Does it seem wise to jump on again so I can have a career? Should I be considering other adjunctive drugs, such as an antidepressant?
Proactive advice welcome. Thank you!