Benzo Buddies members give up sex to devote years-long tapers to cult guru

Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« on: February 12, 2018, 12:05:30 am »

[Buddie]

Does orgasms make your symptoms worse? I feel like my anxiety, fatigue, depersonalization, everything gets worse after orgasm and doesn’t get better until about a week of abstinence…

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2018, 01:27:07 am »

[Buddie]

My head starts hurting and I feel more pressure in it
It scares me
😒 can’t even enjoy sex

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2018, 01:41:21 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, I think this happens to me. If I feel good before, and […] for a few hours after having one, but a few hours later I feel horrid. I guess it takes a lot of our energy, or maybe the pleasure center in our brain is tapped too much. Fortunately, this symptom resolves itself for me after a while. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am »

[Buddie]

It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2018, 01:50:45 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am
It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.
Of course, as a guy. this doesn’t apply to me, but very recently I discontinued Melatonin, a hormone which I used as a sleep aid for 18 months, and from what I understand the US (where I am) is the only country that allows it to be sold OTC. Perhaps going off of it contributed to my post-O slump and other problems

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2018, 04:45:36 am »

[Buddie]

Orgasms don’t seem to bother me but I definitely notice feeling way worse during my period, so I can believe that hormones are involved.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2018, 07:44:31 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:50:45 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am
It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.
Of course, as a guy. this doesn’t apply to me

Actually, us guys have hormones as well — they are just different ones. Testosterone is a hormone. And there is in fact a big hormonal change in the brain after orgasm in males. My impression is that the orgasm also has an affect on the central nervous system, and since said nervous system is irritated… It would make sense that there would be symptoms. In my first bad experience with quitting benzos years ago, I would always feel like crap after an orgasm. Never knew why! Now I do…

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2018, 02:02:44 pm »

[Buddie]

sex. i cant even imagine, i can barely make it outside through this much less meet a woman! :P
ugh benzo withdrawal

Addict turns benzo taper into lifelong career

Feel like I completely screwed myself and now feel hopeless
« on: November 20, 2017, 10:07:02 pm »

[Buddie]

I can’t help but feel like my failed Valium crossover and then all of the one off updoses that I very stupidly took to help me sleep have completely screwed me up. I’ve never felt so physically sick or mentally off. It’s unbearable I’m bed ridden and absolutely overwhelmed with terror and irrational thoughts 24/7. I don’t know what to do anymore I think I kindled myself so badly. I just wanted relief. This is my history:

Last year I did a daily liquid microtaper from February until November. I would liquefy one of my .5 mg tablets in 100 mL’s of milk and take our 1.2 mL’s a day until it was gone. So I got down to 1.5 mg’s around November of last year when I was slammed with symptoms/side effects and after seeking advice I decided to updose to 2 and then ultimately reinstate back at 2.5. This did not stabilize me at all and I wish more than anything I had just held at 1.5. In May of this year I had a failed Valium crossover. I then went back to 2.5 and tried a dry cut going extremely slow and only got from 2.5 to 2.375 cutting at a little less than 5% but I felt so terrible that I again went back to 2.5 and actually tried going to 3 mg’s for six days to see if I could get relief and did not so I then went back to 2.5 which is where I am now and have been for a few months with occasional 5 mg Valium updoses mixed in.

Porn saves benzo addict’s life?

Porn ? Really need advice please
« on: August 27, 2017, 09:10:56 am »

[Buddie]

Hi enveryone.

I’m shamefull about it but i think its also a problem like another.

I was wondering if porn (like masturbating at least 2 Times a day...) can prevent the CNS from healing. Because I know that it takes energy and stimulates the CNS.

I’m in a rough period of my withdrawal at 2.5 months and i’m a afraid of quitting porn and be even more stressed and depressed, like just quitting another addiction…

I don’t know if I should stop because it hurts my CNS a lot or if I should consider quitting later… ?
My symptoms are actually: depression, anxiety, lethargy, weakness and other little things…

Thank you all
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 01:23:36 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2017, 02:04:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey buddy,

Im willing to bet that it can be taxing on your CNS. And it definitely doesn’t help your practice for self control which can be very harmful for you and your mental health. I understand that this is something that is not easy to admit to people that you do, and asking for help in this area takes a lot of guts, so I totally commend you on this for taking the first step which is asking for helping. And remember that we all need help in one area or another. You are not the only one.

I’m a Christian, and I know that we are suppose to refrain from having religious talks on this forum, but I gotta tell you, if you give this area of weakness over to Jesus, you will be amazed at the victory you can have. I know I can’t overcome my problems by myself.

You may or may not believe, but it’s just some thought I figured I’d give you hat I know has helped me in the past, and he has changed my life.

Anyways, keep up the good fight, and we are here for ya!

Scrappy

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 02:14:19 pm »

[Buddie]

I agree with Scrappy:)

Keep healing

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2017, 03:20:52 pm »

[Buddie]

You will find this strange, i’ve never been really religious, but since me beginning of post-benzo i go like every 2 weeks at church to pray and thanks God and Jesus to give me strengh.

I know that i need to quit this and this is a bad addiction, but it’s really worst since post-benzo, i really want to quit but it seems too hard for now… And my psychiatrist doesnt really help me !

So i’m asking myself if i need to quit now or later to heal better…

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2017, 04:18:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t think the porn is necessarily going to stop healing. If you are exhausting yourself with any activity, that could not be good, cause you need to take care of yourself and give yourself the rest your body needs. This could also be your personal way of stress-relief, and maybe it’s helping? Maybe take a few days off and see.

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2017, 07:37:10 pm »

[Buddie]

……and risking carpal tunnel is just another worry you don’t need..

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2017, 08:19:49 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t think watching porn will delay the healing, but stopping a porn addiction can cause nasty withdrawal symptoms on top of the benzo withdrawal symptoms. This will increase depression, anxiety, insomnia an fatigue. During porn withdrawal your dopamine and GABA levels will go down. During most dopaminergic drug/behaviour addiction withdrawals, the levels of corticotropin releasing factor and dynorphin increase. This will make you feel like shit, until the brain reaches homeostasis in kappa opioid and dopamine receptors. Some people even expierence porn PAWS.

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2017, 08:47:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m no expert but while withdrawing you should listen closely to your body and mind. If it seems to have adverse effects, then cut […]. Masterbation is not an addiction unless it controls you. Porn is another story. If you are addicted and go cold turkey, it could increase you symptoms. I’m not advocating anything here but there are some things to consider. Nothing to be ashamed of!
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 08:53:12 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2017, 04:47:30 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 27, 2017, 02:04:39 pm
Hey buddy,

Im willing to bet that it can be taxing on your CNS. And it definitely doesn’t help your practice for self control which can be very harmful for you and your mental health. I understand that this is something that is not easy to admit to people that you do, and asking for help in this area takes a lot of guts, so I totally commend you on this for taking the first step which is asking for helping. And remember that we all need help in one area or another. You are not the only one.

I’m a Christian, and I know that we are suppose to refrain from having religious talks on this forum, but I gotta tell you, if you give this area of weakness over to Jesus, you will be amazed at the victory you can have. I know I can’t overcome my problems by myself.

You may or may not believe, but it’s just some thought I figured I’d give you hat I know has helped me in the past, and he has changed my life.

Anyways, keep up the good fight, and we are here for ya!

Scrappy

As a 25 year old woman who is engaged to the best man in the world and continued to have a rocking sex life all through withdrawal as well as look at porn a few times a month I can say it was my saving grace during the worst time in my life aka withdrawal from benzos.

[…] you are not shameful in the least bit, not sure if you are a man or a woman but watching porn is NOTHING to be ashamed of and unless it is causing you to not be able to have real relationships with people or if you feel it is an addiction in and of itself then don’t worry about it, it can help to release the major stress of benzo withdrawal and recovery, provide some temporary pleasure in your life and also just distract you.

Also highly recommend sex and connection with real people if you are up to it, withdrawal is a beast but it ends, I swear. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY OR ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUALITY and you have zero reason to fear it will effect your CNS whether you quit or keep going with watching porn.

PS. Do you […] and don’t let anybody make you feel bad for how you choose to express your sexuality.

CULT OF SHAME

Re: Benzodiazepine Information Coalition's Website
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2016, 01:06:13 am »

[Buddie]

Thanks, […]! Good detective work! Did I miss it on the website? I thought perhaps there was some reason why I couldn’t find any specific names and biographies attached to this project. Why wouldn’t the names and bios be listed in the “About Us” section? Why wouldn’t they introduce themselves formally — especially if they’re asking for money? Am I missing something?
« Last Edit: September 18, 2016, 01:27:29 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Benzodiazepine Information Coalition's Website
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2016, 01:51:46 am »

[Buddie]

I know Lapis, I thought the same thing. No, you didn’t miss it on the website. It’s not there. This really should be information on the website, but apparently you have to be a Facebook member to find out everything, like members names, 24 hr fundraising event, not sure what else. I’m a little disappointed by this. I don’t like Facebook. This is how I found it (in bold):

Quote from: [Buddie] on September 18, 2016, 12:46:02 am
I can’t seem to post the link, I think because it’s Facebook. I’m not a Facebook member, but if you Google “who runs the benzodiazepine information coalition”, a Facebook return comes up called, “Benzodiazepine Information Coalition – Timeline | Facebook. Click on that and the above quote comes from the comment section and you can click on “Jocelyn”. You’ll recognize her from the videos.

Cult of Shame

"Secret" Facebook Group
« on: April 12, 2016, 12:17:58 am »

[Buddie]

Is there a “secret” benzo withdrawl group on Facebook? I see there are “closed” ones, but others can see if I become a member. Only a handful of people know about my addiction and I’d like to keep it that way. 

Drug-seeking addict seeks cult’s help in finding new doc to supply pills

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« on: February 25, 2016, 08:12:04 pm »

katz09899

Anybody else struggling to get their doctor to believe them about their protracted benzo withdrawal? When I see my dr. he asks me how I’m doing but then gets irate when I tell him the truth. He insists that benzo withdrawals only last 7-14 days ( it’s been 5 months for me so far). He’s accused me of pill seeking even though I’ve never asked for medications, and has even told me “you’re better than this”. I’m so frustrated. How do you go about finding a Dr. with experience treating benzo withdrawal? I’m not looking for meds, just someone who acknowledges that I feel the way I feel.

Re: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2016, 08:20:14 pm »

[Buddie]

WOW. Just wow. What’s wrong with your doctor? Arrogance? Ignorance? Lack of empathy for his suffering patients? I could go on. Is this the same doctor who gave you the benzos to start with and got you into this mess? Wasn’t HE better than that? I’m sorry you are dealing with such a doctor Katz. When I hear about doctors treating those of us struggling with benzo withdrawal in such an ignorant and callous manner, it makes my blood boil. IMO its time to find another doctor.


[…]

Re: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2016, 08:27:24 pm »

katz09899

Yes, he’s the same Dr. that prescribed them to me 8 years ago.

Re: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2016, 08:28:48 pm »

[Buddie]

HE IS AN IDIOT ! That is what is wrong with him !! You are 5 trillion times better than him. Don’t pay any attention. My dr. pretty much said same thing to me. Thank God we know better now. I would never go to him again.

Re: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2016, 08:29:10 pm »

[Buddie]

‘Withdrawal’ means removal of the drug, so he’s seeing this as having been accomplished already. You’re left with the process of recovering from the temporary damage the benzo has done…the healing or recovery process, which is very symptomatic for those of us who find ourselves here searching for answers. Docs get caught up in semantics and lack of information on the length of time it takes for the GABA receptors to heal. And that’s how they let us down as patients, by not validating this.

Benzo-wise doctors are few and far between, most of us must go this on our own. It’s a shame that most of our doctors aren’t better educated about what benzodiazepines can do over time.

Re: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DOCTOR?
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2016, 09:37:57 pm »

katz09899

I had read somewhere that it was called “PAWS”, for Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. Which most if not all Drs. who prescribe these meds have no real knowledge of the harm these meds cause. I too searched for some Dr. to help me and only got frustration from the ones I turned to. I tried Drs. and drug clinics and didn’t find much support. I just wanted someone to “listen” and be compassionate and encouraging and the only place that I have found the support I needed was here at BB. Sharing back and forth really helps, keep doin it. Keep reaching out. Thanks to everyone who has helped me.

Benzo Buddies member asks cult to brainwash parents

I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« on: February 24, 2016, 02:14:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Idk if its a good idea for maybe a moderator from this site to email my mom, ive been so out of alternatives that i need some help at least on getting my parents back to support me..

My crazy pdoc says i could never have wd from 2 weeks 5 mg ct ativan, even though i had been in protracted wd of klonopin before (i was once on chemical dependency, he should know chemical dependency is for life)

Now he says i have a personality disorder thats hysteria, and that all sxs im feeling (phyisical and mental) are psychological and being made by me. He says only therapy can treat me.

I needed someone with age, with good sources, who could rationally email my father or mother and explain to them that benzo wd exists, that im suffering, and that im not hysterical just bc some doc who got me addicted to benzos says i am when he cant deal with what hes done.

Thank you guys in advance, i really think this might work a lot for me..

Re: I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2016, 03:37:45 pm »

[Buddie]

Sorry you aren’t getting support from your family. Must be very frustrating and saddening. I cannot give much advice other than to show your parents everything on this site— the protracted members talk a lot about thier ongoing symptoms so that would be a good start. Have they ever looked at any of the online resources like the ashton manual? Pick out a few success stored written by bb members who suffered for a long time. I was never a sad or depressed person before benzos. I’ve been off of them for nearly 6 months and they still continue to ruin my life. It’s torment and the public, especially our family members, need to know this! You can also join beating benzos on Facebook if you need additional support. There has been many articles written by survivors that aim to educate families affected by benzo withdrawals.

Re: I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2016, 03:43:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Have your parents read this from an addiction doctor in Toronto. Your Brazilian psych should have his license revoked.

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/benzodiazepine.htm

Re: I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2016, 04:07:28 pm »

[Buddie]

You kindled on the atvain ! Because u all ready had prorated withdrawal and then reinstated that’s why u feel worse . Your brain is like an elephants it remembers the bad pathways from before .
I did the same with only 1 week of zopiclone.

Re: I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2016, 04:34:34 pm »

[Buddie]

What does the therapy entail? I would be inclined to go with it so long as I didn’t have to take any drugs. Make that part of the agreement. At some point you might have to stop swimming against the current. Just bide your time in therapy.

Put the ball back in their court.

At the same time, unless you have life threatening symptoms, I wouldn’t be badgering your physician too much anymore. If you do what most of us do, you’ll go to the doctor and get tested for an ailment. Then you’ll be told the test come back fine. Sometimes they may say, hey you should take xyz medication for this symptom. A classic example of this is beta blockers for tachycardia that some of us get. That might be in your best interest to follow the physicians advice there.

Just stress that if they think therapy is fine, then a good therapist should be able to do this without psych drugs if the patient doesn’t want drugs.

Re: I need someone to talk to my parents about benzo wd..
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2016, 05:51:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I know you are desperate for some help […], but draw upon your own reserves and take the advice of those who posted. We wish for everyone to remain anonymous here on the forum and not share person information such as email addresses.

Try to get your parents to read, there is so much they can learn just by reading.

[…] 

Author studying cult for new exposé?

Re: How Attempts to Distance from the Term Addiction Can Result in Harm
« Reply #40 on: January 16, 2016, 01:31:58 am »

[Buddie]

You know I think everyone needs to keep these three points in mind before they engage with […] any further:

1. She has repeatedly stated she is well.
2. She has repeatedly stated she joined this forum because she believed that healed people were few and far between and she therefore had something to offer.
2. She has repeatedly stated she is writing a book on this very topic.

Therefore, the following conclusions can only be arrived at:

Everything she does and says on this forum is for the purposes of her book. She has made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t care what anyone else’s personal experiences are as long as they don’t align with her thoughts, beliefs and experiences. We are all just a means to an end.

People who are well get on with their lives, they don’t join a forum AFTER they are well. This forum’s primary purpose is for support getting off. Yes a whole lot of other things too.

She is by no means an expert and the advice she is so freely dolling out is not only toxic to me but toxic to everyone else. When she asks questions about you, she isn’t doing it to help you, she is doing it for her book. Opening yourself up to this will prove to be very damaging when you don’t know it’s her motive. She doesn’t care about you that is clear.

So please everyone for your sake stop engaging with her and her nonsense!!

PS – based on everything she has divulged, I question whether or not she ever had a problem with Benzo’s or Opiates to begin with.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2016, 01:37:31 am by [Buddie] »