Three decades of diet soda robs addict of youth, sanity

What If...
« on: July 15, 2017, 03:17:28 pm »


So, I am 67, 13 years on Xanax, 3 off. Did 3 decades drinking diet soda. So, June 1, 2017, I went off the sodas and, of course, aspartame. This morning looked at how old I look and feel. Each passing month seems worse. I was wondering what I would look like and feel like if I had never taken any of these poisons. Too late now but a real sad commentary on where I took myself. Sure many of you feel the same. 😢

Benzodiazepine Information Coalition accused of “addict shaming” by Benzo Buddies members

Re: Benzodiazepine information coalition: does this place exist?
« Reply #42 on: June 23, 2017, 01:34:52 pm »


Quote from: [Buddie] on June 22, 2017, 09:53:40 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on June 22, 2017, 09:32:51 pm

wanted to ask you your thoughts about the difference between the benzo’s “withdrawal” damage/injury iatrogenic illness, benzo discontinuation syndrome or whatever you want to call it and opiate addiction? because i know for me that opiates caused a craving where as i never craved benzos. you know what i mean/ there’s just a difference in these two drugs. i ponder this a lot.

My only experience with opiates has been the few times I have taken hydorcodone or percocet. I remember having this “wow” feeling the first time I took them so I can see how they could rope someone in.

It seems like benzo withdrawal (or whatever you want to call it) is a completely different animal. They don’t create physical cravings for most people but the severity and duration of the damage they cause to the body seems to be worse in general. I wouldn’t want to find myself addicted to opiates but if I could trade that for what I have experienced over the past 6.5 years from benzos I would do it in a heartbeat. At least if the bulk of your problem is staying off the drugs you might have a fighting chance.

Denying that benzos create physical craving in most people is simply addict shaming, […]. It’s intolerance and approaches bigotry. It shuts down conversation about benzos and is seen by many professionals and lay people as denial. Denial is a hallmark of addiction. This conversation is unpopular here and it’s not my fight. My fight is overcoming a lifetime of taking these pills and regaining my life.

Benzo craving is prevalent here at bb’s and can be seen in the vast majority of early posts before people are indoctrinated into the bb’s culture. Even then the veterans display the cravings in many posts but rationalize it away as specific symptoms. Rationalization is another hallmark of addiction.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. Humans do!

The term addiction fits for most of us. Breaking the symptoms of withdrawal down into minute details is again denial and rationalization best used only in support groups. The broad picture of the minute details supports an addiction definition and paradigm. Post withdrawal syndrome and the time it takes for the small subsection of us to recover is a whole other discussion.

Refusal by some members here to accept that many many people here are addicted despite the overwhelming evidence otherwise shuts down healthy and critical analysis of our issues. I understand why people don’t want to be associated with addiction. But the very nature of being here at bb’s involved in support for getting off benzos suggests we are associated with addiction. That’s how most of the real world understands this.

I agree that the definition af addiction carries with it many awful preconceptions that it shouldn’t, but that definition is embedded into the worldwide human culture. Overcoming those biases held by everyone who is culturally assimilated is a tall task. Overcoming those biases in our worlds cultures changes the conversation for those of us who are trying to recover to something else.

I apologize to anyone that is offended by this post. It’s not my intent to offend but out there in the real world most people I run into only know this as addiction. It’s how they understand the issue.

Addict shaming sucks where ever you find it.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2017, 02:46:26 pm by [Buddie] »

Klonopin addict loses mind, torches house

I'm 45 and have lost ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
« on: March 14, 2017, 10:16:14 am »


I’ve been fighting clonazepam withdrawal for four years now. I’ve made it through it twice only to b launched back into it by mistakes. Once from taking a prescribed drug called perphenizine which totally reset me back to zero. And once from taking Aleve. I’m 45 and have lost everything I own. My savings, my 401 k, my stock portfolio and my house ..which burned down while in clonopin withdrawal. My credits destroyed too. I’ve lost over 200,000 total.

I’m 45 yrs old and feel there’s no use in trying to start over. I’m too old. My life is over and I simply do not want to exist anymore.

“Help! Should I take a rescue dose?”

Use of Benzo while withradwing
« on: January 24, 2017, 10:16:50 am »


Tomorrow I have a meeting with a customer of my company and am of course scared to death.

I know it’s not good, but after dumping all my Valium, I bought a couple of xanax tablets for just in case.

I am really thinking of taking one pill of 0,5 mg only for tomorrow.

Anyone been in the situation in which you have the urge to take a benzo for just the most difficult situation?

Addict back on benzos after wild Mary Jane session ends in ER

Made a big mistake and paying for it- help!
« on: January 10, 2017, 08:45:36 am »


So this weekend I was very stupid and tried medical marijuana (~15mg). Not completely sure why as I’ve never liked pot before and this was my first time having anything pot related in years. I chalk it up to being young and stupid and a little escapist. It gave me such a bad panic attack I went to the ER. Since I was hyperventilating, vomiting, etc and couldn’t control the panic on my own I was given a single Ativan dose, probably 2mg.

My question is- if there is a “hangover” from the weed, how long until it goes away and/or when will the w/d symptoms from the Ativan reach their max point?

I’ve been feeling horrible and it’s about two days out. Slept one of the two nights, I’m up again tonight with anxiety and nausea/heartburn. It’s not the worst w/d symptoms I’ve had but I work now and it’s getting debilitating. I took tomorrow off and now I’m wondering if I need to take the week as well… I know my chance of some of the more life threatening symptoms from w/d are low but my anxiety just won’t let me believe it :/

Edited for typos 🙂
« Last Edit: January 10, 2017, 09:24:19 am by [Buddie] »

French Connection: Gene Hackman’s wife started Prettydaisys on benzos?

i started benzo’s when i was only 15 years old. my family was really good friends with the actor Gene Hackman and we would spend every weekend and all Holidays with his family. my mother becamse best friends with Faye Hackman and Faye introduced valium to my mother.
my mother had some 5 mg valium little yelllow pills in her bathroom and one day i went in there and saw them and decided to try some. i didn’t just take one pill of 5mg valium. i took 4 pills so i ended up taking 20mg valium and i never felt better or more like i could be intimate with other’s.
i just felt good. so later on, i started seeing my mother’s Gynocologist and he started to give me some valium. i can’t remember if i asked for it or just said i had anxiety. but that is how it started. and then i would get prescriptions for him, my old pediatrician and dentist periodically. and that’s how it started for me.
i had also took quite a few Quaalaudes and fell in love with those. then they turned into ‘bunk’ Quaaludes and jsut weren’t the same — so that’s when i really started taking the benzo’s.

10 signs you have Cyberchondria

You Focus on the Worst Case Scenario

Your head hurts so you Google your symptoms. Instead of clicking on the search result that says it could be a migraine, you hone in on the words: “brain tumor,” “cancer” and “cerebral hemorrhage.”

“Patients coming in with headaches they’re convinced are brain tumor is extremely common. Or they’ll research symptoms that could be two different things and jump to the most crippling syndrome, even if it’s clear they don’t have it,” says Rahul K. Khare, MD, ER physician at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and assistant professor at Northwestern University, Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

Khare says one key symptom of Cyberchondria is that you easily believe you have — or could have — these rare disorders without taking into consideration the risk factors, prevalence and incidence of the disease or syndrome.You Surf for Vague Symptoms

You Surf for Vague Symptoms

When symptom surfing, you concentrate on hard-to-diagnose, vague symptoms, such as fatigue, general muscle aches, headaches and strange physical sensations.

“We see patients who have done Internet searches on muscle aches, fatigue, pain and are convinced they have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,” says Khare.

“Cyberchondriacs are ambivalent about finding out they have an illness,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. “On one hand, they’re terribly fearful of being sick and dying, but on the other hand, they are looking for something to validate symptoms to get attention and sympathy.”

So vague symptoms, such as fatigue or aches, provide the chance to vacillate between benign and terminal diagnoses, depending on how sorry you want to feel for yourself at that moment.Your \"Favorites\" are Filled with Medical Search Results

Your “Favorites” are Filled with Medical Search Results

Instead of links to recipes, yoga poses, celebrity gossip or dream vacations, your favorites are littered with links to symptom checkers, dire disease symptoms and other medical listings.Thanks to those saved searches, links and symptom checkers in your favorites, you can draw the line from headache to fatal brain tumor with just two clicks of your mouse.You Can't Remember the Last Symptom You or Your Family Experienced That You Didn't Research Online

You Can’t Remember the Last Symptom You or Your Family Experienced That You Didn’t Research Online

Instinct, says Michael Nuccitelli Psy.D., C.F.C., a licensed psychologist in Brewster, NY, is often the devil’s advocate when it comes to symptom surfing.

You get the feeling that something is wrong and keep searching to prove your instinct right – because, well, when is it ever wrong?

Women are particularly susceptible because they’re “typically the ones to keep track of their family’s health so they have to stay current of medical and health issues for their children and family,” he says. The more “informed” they think they are, the more this instinct rears its ugly head.You Ask Facebook Friends About Fevers, Rashes and Other Symptoms

You Ask Facebook Friends About Fevers, Rashes and Other Symptoms

Lieberman says white coat syndrome — the fear of being diagnosed with a previously unknown condition or being told you have to change unhealthy behavior (smoking, drinking and eating) — sometimes make Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking sites a more attractive option for researching symptoms.

But doctors caution you have to take information about symptoms learned on these social media sites with a grain of salt.

“One person’s experience might not be the same as someone else’s,” says Michael Abrahams, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist in New York City and clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine.

To cure your Cyberchondria, avoid sites where people can share symptom information based on their own lay knowledge of medical conditions, Abrahams says. “Sometimes it’s good to hear from another person what their experience has been for emotional support, however, this is not a good diagnostic tool.”You've Gone Through a Lot of Printer Paper

You’ve Gone Through a Lot of Printer Paper

Have you ever taken reams of paper about a disease you think you might have to your doctor’s office? A word of warning: once you’ve crossed the line from informed patient to informing the doctor, you’ve come down with Cyberchondria.

“When it comes to skin cancers like melanoma, I understand where the patients are coming from. They compare their spots to pictures they find on the Internet and then they come to see me,” says Joshua Zeichner, MD, a dermatologist and director of cosmetic and clinical research at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City.

And then there are the patients who take it to another level.

“When someone comes in to the office with a stack of printed out reports on rare skin diseases, I prepare myself. Sometimes, a horse is just a horse and not a zebra, but not all patients want to hear that. Those are usually challenging encounters,” says Zeichner.You Don't Let Up

You Don’t Let Up

Every search result confirms that it’s just a migraine, but you’re not convinced.

“One tip off that a person has Cyberchondria is when they don’t believe the search results that say they’re ok, or don’t have the serious disease,” says Leiberman. “So they keep researching and surfing ‘just to make sure’ or to reassure themselves that there’s a chance they’re ok.”Your Pulse Skyrockets When You Symptom Surf

Your Pulse Skyrockets When You Symptom Surf

Researching your health often leads to anxiety, panic or a little bit of both because you frequently link common symptoms to serious illnesses.

“They look up their symptoms and read that they should be seen immediately. And even though most people don’t have the disease or syndrome; they feel anxious worrying they do,” says Khare.

Then, since the doctor is not available right that second, a cyberchondriac hyperventilates some more over the idea of being a ticking time bomb. As the cycle continues, the feelings of anxiety escalate!You Feel Worse After You Get Off the Computer

You Feel Worse After You Get Off the Computer

After searching for information on your symptoms, you feel worse, not better. In fact, your symptoms may even become more dramatic or intense.

“This is the result of wanting to feel in control of your body,” says Leiberman.

She says that even if you want to feel better, your brain could play tricks on you and exaggerate the symptoms or their severity as a way of regaining control. It’s all in your head!

It's Taking Over Your Life

It’s Taking Over Your Life

Do you find yourself spending more time symptom-surfing than answering emails or making time for the people you love?

“Cyberchondriacs can spend hours surfing the web, since the number of sites and social media outlets that discuss symptoms are endless. This allows the Cyberchondriac to avoid other activities in her life, such as work, dating or doing the dishes. After all, how can she be expected to engage in such mundane activities when she may be dying?” says Lieberman.