Parents send “gentle giant” to funny house after threats and violence

Son in hospital
« on: December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2017, 06:50:41 pm »

[Buddie]

I truly believed this happened to me 3 weeks ago. I first had a panic attack then started rambling then had an episode of full rage. I was shaking back and forth and had no idea what I was saying or doing.. Wow did it scare me and my parents. I had no control over my actions or thoughts and I don’t remember much of what I did. I finally calmed down but they were also going to call for help. My uncle convinced them they they were only going to give me benzo-like medications to calm me down so they decided not to.

I’m so sorry for your son, I truly hope he gets better. I haven’t had an episode since but my god did it scare us. My mom cried for days afterwards.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2017, 06:52:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm
Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Awful sorry to read this, […]. 

No, I don’t have any experience of what you have described, but i can well believe it, given the current state of “knowledge” among the medics. What happened to the doc you found who had some understanding of benzo WD?!

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2017, 09:22:26 pm »

[Buddie]

[…]—–I talked about this on another thread I started (sigh, I’ve got to stop that) but the trouble is, that doc who ‘believes’ we use basically for our family doc although he is an internist, and he has referred son to the psychiatrist and others. So he no longer takes care of son’s psych meds. He hates to refer and then “take back” treatment of a patient while he is still seeing the ref. doc, as it is considered sort of ‘bad form” in the doc world, sort of unethical. He has been wonderful tho, about giving us phone advice and helping us through some of this. My hubby has a call into him right now, he should respond by after office hours. Just to pick his brain about how much damage (or good maybe?) these antipsychotics will do his withdrawal process.

[…]—He is listed at the hospital as “allergic to benzos” so that helps. But otherwise, yes, your uncle is right, they might have done so with you. If you were as big as my son (BIG guy) they might have had to take you somewhere, we are just worried that if this happens again, he could end up in jail or worse. This is not the first time he has been talking out of his head or had auditory hallucinations, but this is the first time our ‘gentle giant’ has ever behaved this way. And you’re right, it is so heartbreaking. We are looking for longer term care (which he is against, of course), for his own safety and ours too. Unfortunately. I’m glad you were able to stay home. I’m going to cry like your mom if we have to find a facility for him…for now.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2017, 09:40:48 pm »

[Buddie]

I caught that on the other thread, thanks.

Hugs :smitten:

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2017, 09:59:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Nope but I took anti-psychotics for like a year after I had some terrible hallucinations and other strange things when I tried to take prosac. They might not believe you, but taking anti-psychotics for a bit isn’t the end of the world. I hope it helps.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2017, 10:05:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Nothing like a chemical straight jacket to kill the buzz.
If someone is in extreme mental distress and begging for benzos, It is cruel to disregard them. Anti-psychotics are very disabling drugs, and should not be used on people who are not delusional.
If anti-psychotics are the answer to the problem. It should resolve in a few days.
If not, it is more difficult and you should have your son’s back.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2017, 12:54:56 pm »

[Buddie]

After I crossed over to Librium from Klonopin things became manic for me. On top of that I recently quit Suboxone at the time and started taking kratom daily. At the time, I was taking phenibut as well and switched to baclofen. The day I switched to baclofen, literally day 1 on baclofen….I went to an intensive outpatient group meeting. I was acting weird the entire time. I realized that I forgot to take a baclofen pill on the way to the meeting. I expressed my concern with my dad but he said I would be okay on drive over there. I was pretty much okay I think but I said something that set alarm bells off. I said I wanted to punch my dad over an argument we had and that sometimes I wish he was dead. I kind of yelled it too and was really amped up when I said it. They called the police and they took me to a hospital. Then they sent me to a psychiatric hospital for violent individuals. They would not listen to me. They didn’t care about my withdrawal symptoms. Once you start acting crazy and making threats in a public place it is over. I didn’t hurt anyone either.

They didn’t force me to take antipsychotics but when I was at the hospital they constantly threatened to give me a shot of Haldol and Ativan mixed together. I got injected with it the first day I was there. It was an extremely painful shot. Not a place you want to go. I’m sorry about your son.

Brainwashed Benzo Buddies members sit in ER parking lots, terrified of being 5150’d if they go in

ER
« on: December 02, 2017, 07:09:53 pm »

[Buddie]

When do you know when to go to the ER?

Re: ER
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2017, 07:16:30 pm »

[Buddie]

I go if I can’t get my heart rate to slow down. I will tolerate it as long as possible but if it goes on and on I just can’t take it. They will usually give me a dose of a beta blocker through my IV but anymore I avoid ER at all cost I feel like they think I’m crazy. One night I went to the ER parking lot and sit there and just ended up coming back home.

Re: ER
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2017, 08:01:45 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks […]. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m dying!

Re: ER
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2017, 12:10:18 am »

[Buddie]

I’ve been to the ER 4 times in one year. Never been there before this.
My husband called the ambulance when he though I had a stroke. Tests where taken, the doctors said I had a TIA.
Then 3 times when my heart was crazy, felt like I had a heartattack. EKG, BP, blood tests showed nothing.

November 4 my husband called the ambulance again 😩 They got here took EKG, BP, listened to my heart and lungs.
Talked to me and my husband, I was in bed felt like I could not even move my head. Nothing wrong this time either.
Just w/d.
Very embarrassing. But I have always been treated good, nice staff.
Even if I showed up in pyjamas, crying.

Now I try not to go to the ER. I’m to embarrassed to go there again.

Bedbound, depressed and very anxious with panic attacks every day.

Anti-psychiatry Benzo Buddies ghouls try to talk hallucinating addict out of seeking professional help

Considering Nursing Home care
« on: November 01, 2017, 11:34:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone,

I have been through multiple withdrawals, almost on a monthly basis, over the past 5 years of being on klonopin. I made a huge mistake doing that, and I now know it. I was so frightened and terrified that I couldn’t even think straight. Even on the medication, I was in a lot of distress. I am now hardly able to take care of myself. I have lost almost all proprioception and can’t feel the muscles I’m tensing. This actually started possibly years ago. I am at a point where I have encountered near death experiences of being completely out of my body, much more than just dr/dp. I haven’t been able to let my body relax since my high anxiety took me into dr/dp 7 years ago (upon which I became frozen in my own body and couldn’t get help or info anywhere), 2 years before I was on meds. I am afraid to move or even think about most of my body and head. My sense of my body is constantly fluctuating. I have saucer sized pupils almost all day every day. When I look at them under light in the bathroom, they are constantly becoming huge then small. My mother has been taking care of me for the past 3 years, but she is getting older and I can’t put this on her anymore. I am only 31, but I am becoming severely disabled by this. If I even think about my body I feel pain. Over the years of repeated withdrawal, I have been mentally running away from what is happening to me more and more. The more I go on, the worse everything is getting. I am now having near-death compelete out of body experiences frequently. My nervous system is so wired that when I get up to do something, I am completely out of my body and can’t feel anything. When I sit down I start to feel all kinds of pain and horrible sensations. My proprioception is totally gone. My mouth feels sideways sometimes. Other times it starts to feel gigantic. And it is all I can really notice. Something is very wrong with me. I’ve done some kind of damage that I couldn’t feel because I’ve been outside of my body for years. I do have a feeling that I’m going to die, but it’s not a panicky one that I had 7 years ago when I entered dr/dp. This is an oddly calm acceptance.

So, I really think I need to be in a nursing home under medical care despite my age. I just contacted my doctor about it and I’m waiting for a reply. I know this seems crazy to everyone else in my life, but I know it’s what needs to be done in case something happens and to relieve the burden on my mother. I’m only getting worse and worse, and I have a feeling I’m on the verge of a serious occurrence that may threaten my life. I may even have to go back on klonopin just to stabilize. Just maybe there is a possibility I could do a supremely slow taper at some point in the distant future after I possibly correct the things that are physically wrong with me. To be honest, a lot of what I read here is what I experienced during my first or second year on the med. I feel like I unknowingly kindled myself dozens of times and found out all of this information I found way too late.

So, I guess my question is, what do you guys think? I’m losing my abilities to do anything even worse than before. I was hardly able to take care of myself the last few years on klonopin. I just sat in my chair hoping to distract myself at my computer. I had to leave grad school a year before I had my phd, and I pretty much became homebound then. I thought it was all just some mysterious thing that was destroying me and no one could figure it out. Now I know, but it’s too late. Do you think I will be able to do this? Do they have to have a definite diagnosis for me to be put in there? Please let me know anything you have to say about this.

Re: Considering Nursing Home care
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2017, 12:05:41 am »

[Buddie]

If you tell your doctor what you just wrote they won’t put you in a nursing home unfortunately, they’ll send you to a psych hospital. I know your feeling rough and guilty but you got to pull yourself together for your family. Vent all you want, it helps for sure but just know that you aren’t broken forever. This will end one day. You might have underlying issues as so I as well but this isn’t baseline if you weeent like this prior to the meds.

Hospitals equal torture?

Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« on: July 24, 2017, 03:07:21 pm »

[Buddie]

Doing some research I think that I have found a hospital outside of Boston Massachusetts that has some knowledge of benzo tapering and withdrawal. I have contacted the program’s director and I’m hoping to get a response sometime soon. I have been struggling with benzos for years and am worn out. I am hoping to find somebody that can really help me and not just a script doctor.

http://www.mcleanhospital.org/news/2016/08/02/tapering-addictive-therapies
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 04:57:12 pm by [Buddie]

Re: Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2017, 03:16:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I understand how you feel, but please be very careful about hospital “detoxes.” I went through one several years ago, in a major Seattle hospital where the doctor was supposed to be a “benzo expert.” They cold turkeyed me the minute I walked in the door, monitored my blood pressure for a few days, then sent me home to endure hellish long-term withdrawal symptoms alone. I only saw the doctor once, for a few minutes, and it cost me many thousands of dollars. Many others here have similar experiences with hospital detoxes. “Detox” is designed for alcohol and street drugs, not benzos, which require a much longer recovery period.

For long term users, the best way to get off benzos is to taper slowly at home. It’s not always easy, but it generally leads to milder symptoms in the long run.

“When I finally got a 4 mg fix from that ER doctor what a great high that was!”

Re: Addiction/Dependence Discussion
« Reply #42 on: June 26, 2017, 06:04:04 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 25, 2017, 05:07:42 pm
Those of you who don’t understand the difference between dependence and addiction, have never actually had an addiction.
<<“Those of you who don’t understand the difference between dependence and addiction, have never actually had an addiction.”>>

I’ve had both. I am currently dependent on immunosuppressants to control an autoimmune disease. Without them, the disease would progress to a dangerous stage. There are side effects but there is no withdrawal. Thank goodness I’m not also dependent on Insulin. But I do depend on the U.S. Postal Service, as unwise as that may seem.

But, up until 6 months ago, I had been physically addicted to lorazepam for 20 years. I engaged in drug seeking behavior. When faced with the possibility of running out of the drug, I would contact my dealer (doctor) and arrange for a stealthy pick-up (pharmacy). And there certainly was withdrawal every six hours, although not as difficult as when my first supplier 20 years ago abruptly cut off my 3mg daily supply of Xanax and I ended up in fetal position on my bathroom floor begging God to kill me. (But boy, when I finally got a 4 mg fix from that ER doctor…what great high that was!)

So yes, I understand the difference between dependence and addiction because I’ve experienced both. But, honestly, that’s not why I take issue with the herd moving toward the nice, safe-space-friendly word “dependence.” The beef I have with the word is that it has no clear meaning “out there.” No edge, no bite and too many word-associations that dilute its meaning. It’s not the kind of word that motivates action and can help force a solution to a public health problem. I’ll give you this, though, it’s better than “iatrogenically injured.” Try that one on Main Street!