“I am typing this on my phone as I lie on my bathroom floor…”

This is ridiculous!
« on: September 01, 2019, 09:32:59 am »

[Buddie]

“Here I am typing this on my phone as I lie on my bathroom floor, where I have found myself on numerous occasions over the past 12 months, pondering how the hell I can survive any longer.

I feel like I’ve reached the end this time, that I have no more left to give. My withdrawal has been no more or less brutal than anyone elses but my issues externally to this keep lining up and seem insurmountable at best. Perhaps it’s the benzo lies talking, perhaps not….who really knows what they’re thinking is rational or not in this situation?!

But right now everything feels too hard. Maybe this is a cry for help…knowing nothing and no-one can fix this though, essentially renders it useless. Errrrrrrmagod

I hope everyone whom finds themselves in a similar position right now finds the strength and courage to keep moving forward.
Love Peace and Taco Grease
✌️

Jelly legs worse than benzo belly?

Alright, this is not just jelly legs
« on: July 26, 2019, 09:22:11 pm »

[Buddie]

So I am between 2-3 months out of C/t rapid detox (had some overlap of drugs they gave in hospital)
As awful as it gets with a host of symptoms, but my most profound physical symptoms is beyond jelly legs.
My legs started out where I couldn’t lift them or walk at all, and they began contracting nonstop, the clenthcing was very large and you could totally see it happening….they did this for 6 weeks straight without EVER stopping even if I slept, which most of time I didn’t. They then started calming down a bit and have settled into a constant movement of muscles and twitching (both surface and deep)
They have still never stopped. When I walk (can walk from room to room and stand in shower) they just start getting worse.
So here I am, cannot walk on them to make them stronger and they cannot ever rest to heal. Because even when resting them….they are moving. It is an unbelievable, impossible situation.
Anyone relate?
Btw…I am a mom and was a competitive athlete until the last 10 months of all these meds. Not being active is hindering my recovery, and we all know that these drugs have destroyed life as we know it. But not being able to use my legs…is stopping me from everything

Kooks add diarrhea to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« on: April 16, 2019, 08:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello. I’m tapering off of 8mgs of klonopin. Ever since I started I can’t stay out of the bathroom. I have tried Imodium and lomotil(prescription) with nothing working. I also have had a burning feeling in my stomach and gut. Could this be benzo belly? Any advice would help greatly.

Re: Has anyone experienced diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 09:11:23 pm »

[Buddie]

yes. every single day. get used to it my friend.

Klonopin eater can’t get off the toilet, vows to keep tapering

Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« on: March 17, 2019, 02:38:19 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello. I have been tapering klonopin for a 4 months. I was on 8mg for 23 years. I’m tapering .25mg per 30 days. I can’t get off the toilet. I have lomotil that I have been taking, but it is not helping like it usually does. Has anyone else had this withdrawal symptom?

Re: Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2019, 09:15:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey, sorry you’re having stomach issues. That is no fun at all. I (like you) was on Klonopin and when I tapered I had bouts of diarrhea (and vomiting) that would come and go. And yep, when I had it nothing would help. I do believe this is all related to w/d. I was on 2mg for 7 years so with you being on 8mg for 23 years I am willing to bet this is all related to w/d. But again, it did pass for me but it took awhile. If it gets really bad that would be something most def worth getting checked out by the DR. I would hate to see you get dehydrated from prolong bouts of it. I wish I could give you some advice on what helped me, but nothing did. I had to just grin and bear it unfortunately. So sorry you are dealing with that, I feel for you

Re: Anyone struggling with diarrhea during taper?
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2019, 11:05:34 pm »

[Buddie]

[…] – Bummer. Diarrhea is a really annoying s/x. I’ve had some IBS problems for years but worse during the taper.

I can say that eating more natural foods – fresh fruits and veggies apparently provided more fiber and helped the problem a whole lot. I also cut out most meat though have small amounts occasionally.

The diet change was due to high sugar levels from diabetes which the doctor said would require insulin if I did not get it under control fast. From my reading a whole food, plant based diet would regulate the sugar. The much improved bathroom issue was just a bonus.

I’m really sorry you are dealing with this and know it can be a serious problem. I hope that will level out for you.

All the best, LA

Cult abuse: Benzo Buddies gives its members ablutophobia (irrational fear of bathing) for Valentine’s Day

Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.
« on: February 14, 2019, 08:13:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Took all my strength just to take a bath & wash my hair.Re: Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.

Re: Hard to even bathe w/o exhaustion.
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2019, 08:24:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Yep – and I’m scared of the water

Untreated alblutophia unleashed!

Ablutophobia (from Latin ablutere ‘to wash off”) is the persistent, abnormal and unwarranted fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning

The symptoms of ablutophobia as well as many specific phobias are as follows:

  • Feelings of panic, dread, horror, or terror
  • Recognition that the fear goes beyond normal boundaries and the actual threat of danger
  • Reactions that are automatic and uncontrollable, practically taking over the person’s thoughts
  • Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling, and an overwhelming desire to flee the situation—all the physical reactions associated with extreme fear
  • Extreme measures taken to avoid the feared object or situation.[2]

Feelings of shame are also not uncommon. Many cultures place a heavy value on cleanliness, and refusing to bathe can make someone the target of mockery or teasing, which can increase the severity of the phobia. It may also cause the sufferer to not seek treatment.[3][4]

There are also many options for treatment of ablutophobia. Generally seeking professional help from a person with a background in psychology is one of the best options available. A sufferer of ablutophobia can also undergo exposure-based cognitive behavioral therapy in which the person is allowed to confront the feared object (in this case, water) in controlled situations.[5]

There are anxiety medications that medical professionals can prescribe as well, however these medications have yet to show much promise in the treatments of specific phobias such as ablutophobia. The use of d-cycloserine (DCS) in conjunction with exposure therapy is the only drug to show developments in alleviating the phobia-related symptoms even after a three-month period.[6]

Showers
« on: November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Why on EARTH are showers so difficult?? I HAVE to get a shower because I have to go get blood work done and I seriously DO NOT want to go in that shower, close my eyes and have to shampoo and condition my hair. I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

Do people with “normal” anxiety experience this??

Re: Showers
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 04:07:46 pm »

[Buddie]

I kinda think because its sneakily a bombardment of sensations. The water rushing on you is loud, and even a small degree of scrubbing and cleansing oneself is like a little workout. i just thjnk its sneakily a pretty hard assault on a variety of senses, and being that the mornings for so many of us are so hyper acutely sensitive and crappy, a shower actually blasts us into symptomatic mode.

i became aware last year that in the middle of one, just washing my hair and turning around and all, that i was fairly ramped up, and became very symptomatic in a short time. its actually an energetic little exercise for people who already can barely lift a cup without feeling it.

thats my own thoughts anyway.

Re: Showers
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 06:40:01 pm »

[Buddie]

My mind tends to go a hundred miles per hour in the shower. All my thoughts become focused on withdrawal. There is nothing but you and your mind as you go through the motions of bathing. They are really rough for me too and make me very anxious and then I start getting very depressed and the intrusive thoughts start to come in. You’re not alone, FakeIt. I used to enjoy taking a shower at night every once in a while just to relax. I would prefer not to shower now.

Re: Showers
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 07:19:52 pm »

[Buddie]

I love showers, it’s the only time my muscles are able to loosen up and I don’t feel any head pains.

Re: Showers
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 08:26:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I get the SAME way in the showers. Sometimes it’s ok. But frequently I get panicked.

Re: Showers
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 08:38:10 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 05, 2018, 03:26:51 pm
I don’t understand how such a trivial daily task can become so anxiety ridden. It makes no sense.

I don’t fear taking a shower per se, but I don’t like it either. Sometimes taking a shower will rev me up and cause aversion to showering again, thus the dislike. I used to enjoy showers before, but now it’s more like a daily chore that I really don’t care for.

Read more here: https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/ezxwda/what-its-like-to-have-a-shower-phobia

People do not lose the ability to control their extremities from benzo withdrawal

Lose control of legs and hands?
« on: April 21, 2018, 02:33:13 pm »

[Buddie]

This started post withdrawal so I am putting it here.

Although I have reinstated at a low dose when the dose wears off I am still losing my ability to control my legs – particularly right and right hand properly.

With leg it goes stiff but it is like my brain can’t work out how to move it properly.

Same with right hand – I can’t hold or manipulate a pen properly to write.

Does anyone else have this?

Has anyone had it go away?