Benzo Buddies members question sanity after joining anti-psychiatry site

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #33 on: November 02, 2018, 07:55:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 02, 2018, 05:50:26 pm
I don’t want this to be controversial but I’m having a hard time seeing people that are so sick years out. I’m having a hard time believing it’s still withdrawal (except for cold turkey people).

Maybe we shouldn’t be telling them it will get better. Maybe they do need to be on an anti depressant.

Please don’t attack the post. I’m just questioning the quality of life if the suffering goes on for so long.

This is exactly how I feel. People keep saying I’ll get better because I’ve only been on them 2 weeks and some change and got like this. And it’s November and this all happened end of July. It’s so tiring. I’m willing to take anything. I’m too young for this. It’s so depressing. I question my sanity everyday. I obsess over it. I’m like a caged animal in my damn head.

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2018, 08:05:55 pm »

[Buddie]

This thread me realize I need to take a break temporarily from BB. Can’t obsess over this.

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2018, 08:09:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Geez did anybody read the disclaimer ?

Can someone tell me how to delete this friggin post?

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #36 on: November 02, 2018, 08:09:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Can one get floxed from eye or ear drops?

Re: Are we telling people the wrong thing ?
« Reply #37 on: November 02, 2018, 09:12:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 02, 2018, 08:09:57 pm
Can one get floxed from eye or ear drops?

Yes, I have seen it a few times on here.

Ashton worshippers replace benzo addiction with food addiction, pile on the pounds

Can't stop eating
« on: March 06, 2018, 12:17:44 pm »

[Buddie]

My brain is telling me to every minute of every day.

It is not like hunger but a sort of panic stricken compulsion that I am unable to ignore. I can’t get any control over it.

I am gaining weight fast.

I don’t know what to do.

I have never experienced anything like it. I lost half my body weight a couple of years ago and don’t want to be fat again.

I think it is tied to my being completely unable to feel any senstion from inside my body including feeling full.

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018, 02:49:32 am »

[Buddie]

I went through a similar phase. I ended up gaining a fair amount of weight which I then had to work back off. And like you, I had lost a bunch of weight (102 pounds) the year before I withdrew.

Maybe go for a nice long walk (without taking any food). Or make sure all the food around the house takes a good hour or more to prepare (no ready-to-eat foods or snacks laying around).

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 03:24:15 am »

[Buddie]

I understand what you mean when you say you can’t feel sensations on the inside of your body.

For awhile I was so numb internally I wondered if my heart was still beating. I would have thoughts that would make meme panic mentally but I couldn’t feel any physical response. My body felt dead.

I wonder if your hunger signals are simply misfiring and miscommunicating too. Hunger (or lack thereof) is signalled by various hormones like leptin and ghrellin. I would say that amidst the chaos of benzo withdrawal, the signal to release those appropriately has been temporarily affected.

It could also be that your body is under a lot of stress and is working very hard so is interpreting the need for excess energy.

I would focus on physical exercise where you can. In terms of eating, all you can do right now is try make healthy balanced food choices. Think protein and fibre every meal to try keep your GI low. That should aid satiety and feelings of fullness. And then try and eat as frequently and as much as you know to be healthy for your body. If you logically know you’ve had enough, then perhaps try distraction (although I know how hard this is.

Overall, don’t beat yourself up. You can only do your best. Once you have recovered you can focus on the weight aspect if you still find that to be an issue

:smitten:

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 07:49:49 am »

[Buddie]

Don’t let the weight issue get out of hand. It’ll be hard to comeback later, no matter what they tell you. Eat healthy, and above all, exert control.

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2018, 12:56:41 pm »

[Buddie]

You know I am going through something similar… the absence of internal sensations, an undiscript urge which feels like an urge to eat. It is confusing and harrowing… especially when you had already worked so hard to get back into shape!…

Do what you can. This is withdrawal… but don’t let go either. Don’t beat yourself up, is what I mean, and try to stay as healthy as you can – but know that this is not the way it will always be.

So I agree with not keeping snacks around, or if there are any, no more than what would feel like a decent portion, something “healthy”… nutrients which will help you function and heal.

Do you cook? Do you share meals with family? Try new recipes, take time to prepare and plate nicely… that could help you think of food differently…?

Brush your teeth after eating… you might feel less tempted to reach for the fridge again…

Plan your meals and snacks, that way you may be able to bargain with yourself…

Exercise and relaxation should also benefit you – especially if like me, you feel a weird “urge”. And any distraction, anything you enjoy…

Not sure whether that is advisable… I chew gum. Yes, full of yucky stuff but it helps with the “urge”… looking forward to being able to give that nasty habit up!!…

And tell yourself that you are healing. That things will get better… because they will. No matter what you believe right now!

Hugs  :smitten:
[…] xx

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2018, 04:21:30 pm »

[Buddie]

I am not able to exercise much due to ME/CFS.

I had managed to get my exercise up while tapering but I think I pushed itto much and have made ME/CFS worse as well as withdrawal stuff.

I am mainly housebound.

I can’t explain the eating thing – it does not feel like a normal craving. It feels qualitively different and related to the hypersalivation and neck/jaw tightness that makes my body feel like it is chewing all the time I am awake – like the signals are all messed up.

Also the feel and taste of food is all wrong in my mouth.

The lack of sensation applies to my sense of touch as well – my body feels like it is made of something inert like plastic and the world feels too insubstantial. I manage to forget about it sometimes and then I rub my face or something and the full horror of it returns.

I think I need to talk to the neurologist again.

Before withdrawl I had a very small appetite and ate a paleo style diet. I mainly had one meal a day.

Kook wants to Crowdfund a taper hospital where cult members can stay indefinitely (there’s already such a place, it’s called an insane asylum)

Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« on: May 04, 2017, 02:13:04 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s been a while since I’ve read the Ashton Manual, so I’m not sure if it included any historical portions in there such as when the facility started and ended. But with the failure that is the modern day psychiatric hospitals and detox centers where you only get about 14 to 30 days before you are discharged (and usually in worse shape than when you came in), you would have to think there is room to have a longer term facility similar to Ashton’s that could be recreated today. I would gladly turn myself over to such a facility to live there indefinitely since I’m out of ideas on how to stabilize myself and already on disability. How much time money do you think a facility like that would take to create? What do you think would be the best location for such a facility? Do you think that it would be possible to use crowdfunding to get something like this created?

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2017, 03:36:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I think that prof Ashton treated most people outpatient. Anyway, it would be possible if there were enough funding ! I’m not sure why it doesn’t exist, it wouldn’t be that expensive nor would the costs of certain academic research be that prohibitive.

Money, money, money … who’s gonna pay ? A few 100,000 USD or a few millions would go a long way I think. Any rich members who want to contribute ?

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2017, 04:15:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I would but I’m dead broke. 

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2017, 04:19:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Professor Ashton only ran an out-patient clinic on the NHS here in the UK. Sadly it was closed down many years ago.

There has been no such facility since then.

[…] 

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2017, 04:41:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve thought about buying some property in the Caribbean and starting a benzo recovery retreat. The idea being, a place where one could go during or after your taper, stay for as long as needed (e.g. weeks, months), offering relaxing therapies (e.g. yoga, meditation) and healthy living (organic food, exercise) in a tranquil setting. A place to heal from benzos or other psych drugs. Cost would be comparable to a staying at a modest resort, which is to say not cheap but much less than the outrageous amounts charged by “detox” facilities which don’t really do anything for you except suddenly yank you off drugs which is not the best approach for benzos anyway. I think it’d take a few hundred thousand dollars to start such a facility. I’m not rich but it’d be do-able if I wanted to gamble a chunk of my retirement savings on the idea. Do you think this is a good idea? Would anyone come to such a facility?

I don’t think one could do it in the U.S. due to regulations and the high cost of any kind of health care here.