Ashton disciple has mental breakdown after overindulging in bread

Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« on: February 20, 2018, 12:22:09 am »

[Buddie]

I’ll admit, I may have overindulged on bread today, but I didn’t expect it to give me a mini breakdown complete with crying to my parents! Lorazepam really is the devil’s drug. Anyone else have this problem? Does it get better???

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2018, 02:23:53 am »

[Buddie]

I am so sorry. You are probably going to have to stock up on the tissue paper, because I didn’t know what sobbing, weeping and bawling were until I started coming off Lorazepam. Goodness gracious, I have cried more in my life in the last 3 years, than I have in all of my life before. Just, these heavy sobbing episodes. On a plus side, I didn’t get a single cold because crying can actually flush the cold viruses out nicely.

And then, somewhere along the way, you’re going to find an artist like Matthew Ryan and start listening to him and sob along, relating to almost every darn lyric in there.

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2018, 03:10:46 am »

[Buddie]

You may be much better off than me because you spent a lot less time on lorazepam than I did, and the crying may also be a temporary symptom from stopping Trintellix. Also, we all have different life circumstances, so the crying episodes may be much more short-lived for you. It’s just that I was surprised by all the crying I went through.

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2018, 03:19:49 am »

[Buddie]

You never fail to make me feel better, and I will forever be in your debt. I’m going to do my best to take some positives from all this. For instance, my crying today helped me get to the bottom of what could prove to be a key issue in my overall recovery. It’s funny, feeling as if everything around me is either negative or out to get me has really pushed me towards finding the positive in things, which I never really did before.

Related: http://www.newsweek.com/how-much-pasta-can-you-eat-you-die-506128

Sad story of cult abuse

Leaving home
« on: February 19, 2018, 05:10:23 am »

[Buddie]

Hi guys have so much on my plate at the moment .they found white marks on my brain.did have a gambling problem but have banned from club’s.my toxic family I cannot deal with anymore who will not support me in anyway have been mental abusive and running me down too long now they have stressed me to the max all I wanted was love and support.i am finding it very difficult to function at all anymore so I’m selling my home waiting a month for health fund to kick in so I can go to private hospital for 4 to 5 months and get off last 10mg once and for all after 10 years.my only child whose 19 said mum I luv you but I don’t want to be around you anymore it broke my heart he said your not mum no more you dont want to clean do anything.ive go from a mortgage broker to a functioning mum who took pride in herself in my home and had friends to this debilati g mess.yes I know if I had support from family and others things could have been different but I am so broken and breaking down can’t go on like this anymore.i stayed in the area near my family for my son but can’t do this no more. .I have zilch support here but horrible family so now just waiting on results of brain please God nothing serious go and come off valium.i pray to God it’s not too late especially with the marks on my brain and breaking down.i am so fragile it’s not funny.it is disgusting and angers me that doctors can do so much damage too our lives lack of duty of care.i hope after news of tests and off the valium and alot of hardwork and forgetting my family I can start to go up the mountain.i truly feel there’s not much left of me as I feel like just a shell and distressed mind but there’s alittle hope in me that I will heal for me and my son and then the doctor’s and my family haven’t won.

Benzo Buddies Bedridden Club throws a party

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1089 on: January 27, 2018, 04:19:54 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s going to be a bad circle of all, getting so sad because I can`t do anything. My home is a mess. It feels like I’m stuck, nothing will happen to anything.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1090 on: January 30, 2018, 02:29:27 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi […], I feel exactly the same. I am looking round this room at the moment and there are so many things to do and yet I can’t get motivated to do them. My Mum came to see me yesterday and it was so difficult talking to her. This is my own mother!
I know there is a pile of pots downstairs waiting to be washed but I am in bed and cannot summon the energy to do them. Maybe I might be able to do them later, I don’t know.
I’m glad this group is up and running again. Please chip in, anyone who is bedbound for physical or mental reasons. Or both.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1091 on: January 30, 2018, 02:50:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 30, 2018, 02:29:27 pm
My Mum came to see me yesterday and it was so difficult talking to her. This is my own mother!

Don’t feel bad about it, this happens to many people during withdrawal, me included. Last Sunday a cousin came to visit me, but I didn’t even come out of my room. I know it’s rude, but I just didn’t have it in me, I simply couldn’t do it. I stayed in my bed all day.

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1092 on: January 30, 2018, 02:51:27 pm »

[Buddie]

In bed daily with mental; a year off all meds and so much worse-feel it has to be toxicity in my case…keep getting more and more symptoms…

Re: ~~The Bedridden Club~~
« Reply #1093 on: January 30, 2018, 03:10:03 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m so sorry for your situation, Brainwarp. Everything you went through in your taper was in order to feel better when you were eventually off the tablets and now you feel worse. I hope you improve soon. Meanwhile stick around this thread. It got your answer and an answer from Ginger in about twenty minutes so it must have some relevance to quite a few people.

Ginger, thanks for your answer. I do feel bad when family members come to visit and I find myself looking forward to the next day when they are gone. The worst one is when my bf’s parents come and stay for two or three days. Thinking about that now makes me feel scared. Sorry you couldn’t see your cousin.

I managed to get up and wash the dishes. They will have to dry by themselves….

Parents send ‘gentle giant’ to funny house after threats and violence

Son in hospital
« on: December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2017, 06:50:41 pm »

[Buddie]

I truly believed this happened to me 3 weeks ago. I first had a panic attack then started rambling then had an episode of full rage. I was shaking back and forth and had no idea what I was saying or doing.. Wow did it scare me and my parents. I had no control over my actions or thoughts and I don’t remember much of what I did. I finally calmed down but they were also going to call for help. My uncle convinced them they they were only going to give me benzo-like medications to calm me down so they decided not to.

I’m so sorry for your son, I truly hope he gets better. I haven’t had an episode since but my god did it scare us. My mom cried for days afterwards.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2017, 06:52:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 18, 2017, 06:42:17 pm
Anyone here been hospitalized when in full psychosis, and the docs don’t believe you were in w/d and gave you anti-psychotics? That’s what has happened to my son this past few days, due to an episode at our home that involved physical violence, and threats. He’s a really big guy and we had no choice but to call for help.

Awful sorry to read this, […]. 

No, I don’t have any experience of what you have described, but i can well believe it, given the current state of “knowledge” among the medics. What happened to the doc you found who had some understanding of benzo WD?!

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2017, 09:22:26 pm »

[Buddie]

[…]—–I talked about this on another thread I started (sigh, I’ve got to stop that) but the trouble is, that doc who ‘believes’ we use basically for our family doc although he is an internist, and he has referred son to the psychiatrist and others. So he no longer takes care of son’s psych meds. He hates to refer and then “take back” treatment of a patient while he is still seeing the ref. doc, as it is considered sort of ‘bad form” in the doc world, sort of unethical. He has been wonderful tho, about giving us phone advice and helping us through some of this. My hubby has a call into him right now, he should respond by after office hours. Just to pick his brain about how much damage (or good maybe?) these antipsychotics will do his withdrawal process.

[…]—He is listed at the hospital as “allergic to benzos” so that helps. But otherwise, yes, your uncle is right, they might have done so with you. If you were as big as my son (BIG guy) they might have had to take you somewhere, we are just worried that if this happens again, he could end up in jail or worse. This is not the first time he has been talking out of his head or had auditory hallucinations, but this is the first time our ‘gentle giant’ has ever behaved this way. And you’re right, it is so heartbreaking. We are looking for longer term care (which he is against, of course), for his own safety and ours too. Unfortunately. I’m glad you were able to stay home. I’m going to cry like your mom if we have to find a facility for him…for now.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2017, 09:40:48 pm »

[Buddie]

I caught that on the other thread, thanks.

Hugs :smitten:

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2017, 09:59:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Nope but I took anti-psychotics for like a year after I had some terrible hallucinations and other strange things when I tried to take prosac. They might not believe you, but taking anti-psychotics for a bit isn’t the end of the world. I hope it helps.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2017, 10:05:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Nothing like a chemical straight jacket to kill the buzz.
If someone is in extreme mental distress and begging for benzos, It is cruel to disregard them. Anti-psychotics are very disabling drugs, and should not be used on people who are not delusional.
If anti-psychotics are the answer to the problem. It should resolve in a few days.
If not, it is more difficult and you should have your son’s back.

Re: Son in hospital
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2017, 12:54:56 pm »

[Buddie]

After I crossed over to Librium from Klonopin things became manic for me. On top of that I recently quit Suboxone at the time and started taking kratom daily. At the time, I was taking phenibut as well and switched to baclofen. The day I switched to baclofen, literally day 1 on baclofen….I went to an intensive outpatient group meeting. I was acting weird the entire time. I realized that I forgot to take a baclofen pill on the way to the meeting. I expressed my concern with my dad but he said I would be okay on drive over there. I was pretty much okay I think but I said something that set alarm bells off. I said I wanted to punch my dad over an argument we had and that sometimes I wish he was dead. I kind of yelled it too and was really amped up when I said it. They called the police and they took me to a hospital. Then they sent me to a psychiatric hospital for violent individuals. They would not listen to me. They didn’t care about my withdrawal symptoms. Once you start acting crazy and making threats in a public place it is over. I didn’t hurt anyone either.

They didn’t force me to take antipsychotics but when I was at the hospital they constantly threatened to give me a shot of Haldol and Ativan mixed together. I got injected with it the first day I was there. It was an extremely painful shot. Not a place you want to go. I’m sorry about your son.