Benzo Buddies members feel worse after long drug tapers

5 years off
« on: October 10, 2018, 07:52:30 pm »

[Buddie]

I will be five years off everything December 4. It is very disheartening to be this far out and have so many symptoms. I’ve been in a wave since the end of May of this year. The worst symptom that I have is air hunger, dizziness, anxiety, DADP as well. And just when I thought it was going to be OK my head has a tremor. Can anyone on this board relate to me this far out? And for those of you that are not as far off as I am please don’t think that my story is going to be your story. I’m Looking for support.

Re: 5 years off
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2018, 09:18:15 pm »

[Buddie]

I have severe breathing, fatigue and mental problems now. How many windows a week were you having before this wave and have you taken any other meds or supplements during this time

Re: 5 years off
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2018, 11:32:34 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on October 10, 2018, 09:18:15 pm
I have severe breathing, fatigue and mental problems now. How many windows a week were you having before this wave and have you taken any other meds or supplements during this time

I was feeling good end of May n boom!! No new meds or supplements at all!!!

“Benzo Buddies ruined my life”

How benzobuddies ruined my life, long proctated withdrawal 4 years off
« on: June 01, 2018, 06:12:39 pm »

[Buddie]

my last name here was pil54, in 2014 here i Registered after a fast taper of 7mg prazepam, i was just reinstated 4,5mg and it wasnt enought to stabilized me, i should have gone back to 7mg at least or even more for it to be effective, and restart a slow taper.

Back of that i was first on 20mg, i discovered the Ashton manual and was doing it even slower, reducing 5% every 2 weeks with barely no symptoms at all, all was very manageable, working full time job through it. For one year i tapered from 20mg to 7mg very easily, it wasnt the hell people describe here to taper at all, everyone here who describe hell tapering psych meds is just going too fast . Until i stupidly lost patience andtryed to accelerate and it went hell and i ended cold turkey 7mg

I can remember moderators here telling me ” You are paradoxical you just need to quit and let your brain heal, Accute only last 3 month then it will get better, everyone heal”, That sentence EVERYONE HEAL, you will read it all day by every people here, those all unknow people behind their screen can litteraly destroy all your life if you listen them advices.

Its what i did, and thats what they did, they ruined my whole life, I tapered those last 4,5mg in 3 month, reducing 0,5or 0,25mg every 8 days, and i went severly ill because i wasnt stable at all before tapering, they told me ” dont care accute last 3 month “

Am still in accute 4 yeas later, next month i will be 4 years off every benzo or psych meds, and i never recovered from the symptoms of my fast taper here in 2014,

I still have akathisia, i wake up Everyday in terror with electricity in my whole body, with surge of feeling loosing my mind like i have mania, severe insomnia, depersonnalization that never went away 4 years laters, during those years i developped pots syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome from the daily severe terror my body was experiencing.

They told me ” its normal if withdrawal for years, and i Believe them, i thought it was normal, IT WAS NOT, IT WAS ABSOLUTLY NOT.

Am now living with the crazy idea on my shoulder that i was better 4 years ago while i was doing my slow micro taper, than now 4 years off after my last dose after my failed tapers.

And it’s been the same for my old friends here who Registered in the same generation of me, Hurtbrain, Crazypants, benzommama, rackshka, all those people who tapered wrong and been told they would heal, they are now 4-5-6 years later never healed because of listening people here on that same forum.

That message is to warm the newbies here and all the people suffering to realy inform you before you do a fast taper and listen people here telling you that whatever the way you tapered you will heal, it’s false, its the worse shit every spammed here but its not reality,

Jennyfer Leigh, baylissa,ian singleton, una corbet, They all lie, they all say what you want to hear just to reassurance, but they have no idea how long a brain damage from a rapid taper can take to recover, for years they lied to me saying i would heal if i avoid alcohol and psych meds, I DID, and i never healed 4 years later.

My life is a living hell now because i regret Everyday the mistake i did to listen unknow people advice behind a screen, even my doctor told me to reinstate to my last dosage if i felt sick and retaper slower, it would have been the think to do, instead i trusted that forum

Please inform yourself, the best safe way to escape benzo hell is a micro taper of 5% every 2 weeks of your dosage

TERROR AT TESCO

I went to TESCO today!
« on: January 02, 2018, 05:19:06 pm »

[Buddie]

In the car!! By myself!!!

I haven’t been able to go there to do any shopping at all for months and the whole ‘online shopping and getting someone to get bits and pieces in between’ has become so stressful I decided that was one of the first things I was going to try and do when I felt stronger.

Last night I had a better sleep and felt half-decent after lunch so decided to have a go.  I haven’t been able to drive on the main roads outwith the housing estate but thankfully TESCO is about 10-15 minutes away from the house but still within the estate.  However even if I get there, I can’t go in the normal way because there are traffic lights and I seem to freak out if I get ‘trapped’ anywhere like a queue or a busy roundabout or lights.  And then I figured out I could maybe park in the staff car park round the back which is reached via a side street before the main entrance to TESCO and means I don’t have to negotiate any traffic lights at all so that’s what I did today.  And then did a LOT of deep breathing in order to get out of the car and make it to the front entrance!

But make it I did.  I grabbed two filled rolls, two salads and 4 yoghurts, saw an empty checkout and tried not to hyperventilate going through it.  There was a Holland and Barrett shop in the same complex so I popped in there afterwards and got some papaya and pineapple as a snack treat then stopped at the cash machine on the way back to the car to get money out as well.  Three things I would have had to ask someone to do for me normally.

And I discovered the other good thing about the staff car park is that it’s pretty quiet so I was able to give a whoop of delight when I got back to the car without any men in white coats appearing to take me somewhere padded :laugh:

And then I took the car for a 10 minute run which involved going onto one of the main roads which did produce a mild panic attack but I was able to calm myself down once I turned off into a side street.

Now that’s a big deal for me because whenever the panic has started before when I’ve done something like that, it’s always just got worse and worse and no amount of breathing exercises or calming strategies have worked in the slightest.  As you can imagine, being the driver in a car when that happens and still having to have a 20 minute journey to get back home makes that a frightening experience and results in eventual avoidance.  So the fact that I seem to now be able to become calmer while still IN the car says to me that my brain is very definitely healing and reduces the terrible fear factor somewhat.  Well it reduces it in theory ……  ;D

Once home, I popped the shopping in the fridge and took myself off for a walk to celebrate.  Possibly being the only human being on the streets, it being a very wet and windy afternoon but you know how it is – you feel better and you just want to do some ‘normal’ stuff for a change.

I was able to go much further away from the house than I normally do although timewise my walk was only 5 minutes longer than yesterday’s but it was much more of a WALK if you know what I mean.  Yesterday I was tootling around the lanes and paths very close to my house and eking out the walk to give me a decent time – today I was properly walking on the pavements at a good pace and being ‘normal’ tired rather than ‘scared’ tired.

Which of course means I am now knackered, feel terrible and could go off to bed right this minute!! :laugh:

Still it’s nice to put a tick (for a window) in the notebook where I’m keeping track of what I take and how I feel on a daily basis instead of a cross because there’s been somewhat of an abundance of crosses lately :-\

Good start to the year eh?

People who took the Ashton cure still sick years out compared to people who went to rehab / detox

Do we all really heal?
« on: May 10, 2017, 10:15:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I think the majority of members don’t fully recover..what do you think?…and for sure some symptoms are permanent…i think GI problems are permanent..i have yet to read any member that has claimed to be healed or written a success story..claim their GI problems were fully cured…and for sure Tinnitus is permanent…I’ve never seen not one member claim there Tinnitus has gone away for good..so that’s my theory..IMO the minority not the majority fully heal..what are your opinions?..and should people give people false hopes or be honest..i understand this is a support forum and that people wanna give hope of a full recovery to all the members who are struggling while tapering and those who are recovering..but no one knows who will fully heal..there are too many people still suffering 3,4,5,6 or more years still in withdrawal and suffering horrible symptoms..and they are short term, long term, c/t, fast taper, super slow taper all different methods of tapering…my heart goes out to all those who suffer for such a long duration.