Addict fantasizes about murdering family after joining Benzo Buddies anti-doctor cult

Fear of Going Home
« on: May 08, 2019, 09:36:08 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m having a really hard time wanting to go home after work. I feel anger toward my family and have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these things for so long that I’ve formed an aversion to my home. Don’t know what to do at this point. Never thought this would happen at nearly 14 months off. Does anybody have this? Does this sound like benzo withdrawal at all? I may have to quit my job and move at this point.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2019, 10:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah, I think you begin to associate all this horror with your home, and family, and job, and everything around you, and you feel like getting away from it all. I used to hate being at home. I’d just get in the car and drive around the mountains for the whole day. Anything to get away. Of course, if you have a lot of anger, you might not want to go driving around. Might turn into road rage. But maybe some long walks might help.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2019, 12:32:14 am »

[Buddie]

You might have some other psychological issues (LOL – editor). This is not a criticism but your posts suggest it and your benzo doses were never very high. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you deal with these negative thought patterns. Quitting your job and moving wont change a thing in my opinion. Best of luck.

Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2019, 02:05:35 am »

[Buddie]

Been seeing a therapist since July. I started seeing a second therapist in April too. Nothing has helped.

All I know is that when I quit benzos the second time I didn’t sleep for a full month and it felt like I was going into states of psychosis. I had suicidal ideation up to about a year off. That has eased off and it’s morphed into this fear of going home and fear and anger around other people, particularly my family.

Cops cleared in shooting death of cult maniac who attacked therapist

Mother worries about chattering son’s violent fantasies

Non stop chattering
« on: October 17, 2018, 04:07:20 pm »

[Buddie]

This is my son’s account. I am posting this for advice.

Forgetting all the backstory here is current problem:

He talks incessantly all day long about how he needs to die and other obsessive issues. He regularly threatens physical violence to us and himself. Before you suggest hospitalization, we’ve already been down that road a number of times.

Is there some sort of way to stop the talking and threats? And I don’t mean with a drug or a hospital. These are withdrawal symptoms. He has been off Ativan for 55 days now.

One day we will read of a Benzo Buddies member committing a mass shooting

Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« on: February 14, 2018, 03:59:03 am »

[Buddie]

I don’t know why but looking back just now I realized I threw somewhat of a tantrum when I was at a facility well it was called a facility bit it was terrible. Now I feel so embarrassed I don’t know why I did that I was so pissed and scared at the time I thought they were trying to keep me there. I was just cold turkeyed just before maybe that’s had something to do with it

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2018, 05:34:20 am »

[Buddie]

It would […]. :tickedoff:

I was sitting on a very crowded and cramped bus stop about 3 weeks ago and it was really hot.  The bus had those air brake things, and as each bus arrived and departed the air brakes made a horrible hissing, squealing sound.

I kept enduring until I just screamed at the final bus and told it to shut the F up.  Everyone looked at me.  Aarrgghh.

I was so embarrassed but did apologise to those around who looked at me strangely.  I never do stuff like that, it just overcame me.

I was in early WD and my apology was accepted.

It gets better.

Dee  :smitten:

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2018, 11:30:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Vyea I just got into a big fight with my dad and I told him off he asked to help and I told him no and he kept going. And I started a fight with him and cursed him out I don’t feel to bad about it I’ve walked on eggshells a lot and it felt good to say f-u to him
« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 11:40:26 pm by [Buddie] »