Kook takes months to work up nerve to post at online Jonestown

My first post on this website after registering some months ago
« on: October 15, 2018, 12:35:13 pm »

[Buddie]

Dear All,

Finally I decided to write my introduction.

I did a cold turkey on June 21st 2018. I vividly remember that day.
Since then I’ve never touched benzos and throw away everything.

The reason for me going CT (which I absolutely discourage) is because, before quitting, I didn’t know what was making me feel the way I felt. Dr/dp, Insomnia, anxiety, almost run into panic attacks, chest pain, fatigue, headache, brain fog, depression, lethargy, and many more..
As soon as I realized that it was because of the benzo I was taking, I quit immediately.

Little did I know, that you should taper.

The benzo I was taking is called Lormatazepam (Minias – Italian brand). I was taking 7 drops (ca. 0.85mg) intermittently. I started to take them once a week, or once every 2 weeks – when I really couldn’t sleep. After 5 months at this pace, I started taking them almost all nights. In what were not even 2 weeks, I reached tolerance.

The 21st of October it will be exactly 4 months that I am benzo free. Even though I am not having all the symptoms that I was having the first 2 months, the struggle is still a lot.
I fell in severe depression, and my headache doesn’t want to leave me! Not even for a second. I still had dr/dp episodes, but not so strong as the first month. Sleep is coming and going in waves. I can see the improvements, but it feels like the road is still sooo long.

Wish me good luck!
Thanks for reading!

D.

Brainwashed Benzo Buddies members trained to hide symptoms from family, embrace cult family

Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« on: September 14, 2018, 10:34:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I am really suffering terribly last months, but don’t speak about my symptoms anymore with family and friends. After so long I don’t want to bother them. I get the question “how are” you several times a week and actually the answer in my head is always bad, because that is what it is. The only reason why I am posting so much is because I need to share my thoughts somewhere. Sometimes with response which I appreciate. I am feeling so hopeless and the only thing I think; what if I don’t wake up tommorow? I am fine, wow the fact that these thoughts are going through my mind is something I could not imagine. I used to be the opposite always positive and happy, but don’t see light at the end of the tunnel right now. The fact that 18 months came and went by with 0 improvement is so depressing. Sorry for my negative post.

For all the (long) term sufferers how do you stay positive and what do you do to distract your mind on the worst days? How do you handle your emotions?

Some positive words are appreciated.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2018, 10:47:23 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2018, 10:42:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I can really appreciate your words. I too am trying so hard to keep how I actually feel to myself . I still breakdown with my husband on occasion . I cry most days and just wish the day away. I was always the happy person at the all the events now getting up is a struggle . I feel like I am falling farther and farther away . I am sorry I do not have any encouraging words but wanted you to know how much I understand . Sending you a gentle virtual hug as it is all I have right now

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2018, 11:00:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks […], too tired and sick to help others right now. So understand your comment.

A bug hug for you too!!

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2018, 11:23:41 pm »

[Buddie]

We have each other. We can lean on each other. Cry on each other, and no explanation needed. You Don’t have to exert the energy of faking how you are feeling. We know it’s hard. You are significant and only human. There is no judgement here. No one goes to battle and is happy, rested, feeling and looking their best. Just know that your brothers and sisters in this battle understand, support and validate your journey.

[…]

Benzo Buddies forces abused member to choose between cult and family

Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:16:29 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m the caregiver for my elderly parents. Today they said they’ve had enough of my debilitating symptoms and that I’m choosing to be this way. That I need to see a psychiatrist because they can’t take it anymore. It’s been 2 yrs. and NOTHING is better. Which is true. I don’t know what to do. This is destroying my family. I have no siblings. I tried to explain.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2018, 09:50:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I can so relate!

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2018, 10:10:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm
I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

You didn’t know… None of us knew.

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Now, I have to pay the price. It’s been a nightmare and it keeps getting worse. I’m losing everyone I love. I either have to go back on or lose my life. It’s that real.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Your parents are fed up? Doesn’t sound like they appreciate what you are trying to do. Can you let them go find their own help? I am sorry but your priority needs to be YOU right now and they could be preventing you from healing. Bye Bye Mom and Dad! That is what I would do. Sorry.

BenzMom’s off pills but will be right back on them after a few months at the online Jonestown called Benzo Buddies

BenzMom Introduction
« on: February 05, 2018, 06:33:25 pm »

BenzMom

I am the mother of two children who was placed on Xanax over 15 years ago shortly after my daughter was born. In the course of those years I went off and on Xanax for about 5 years then my mother who was battling a long term battle with a malignant brain tumor became very sick. The Xanax led to other drugs all prescribed by my dr but I like many others needed more not realizing I was dependent. My mother passed away and other tragedies followed in my family. This past August I entered a rehab facility in another state for 5 weeks and gained my life back. I am off of Xanax and all other meds I was on for almost 6 months.

Thank you to this forum.

Leaked documents say Facebook will let users livestream self-harm

Policy ignores suicide threats

Facebook will allow users to livestream attempts to self-harm because it “doesn’t want to censor or punish people in distress who are attempting suicide”, according to leaked documents.

The documents also tell moderators to ignore suicide threats when the “intention is only expressed through hashtags or emoticons” or when the proposed method is unlikely to succeed.

Any threat to kill themselves more than five days in the future can also be ignored, the files say.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/may/21/facebook-users-livestream-self-harm-leaked-documents

Contagion risk

Suicide contagion is the exposure to suicide or suicidal behaviors within one’s family, one’s peer group, or through media reports of suicide and can result in an increase in suicide and suicidal behaviors.

https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-health-and-substance-abuse/what-does-suicide-contagion-mean/index.html?language=es

Scientology-lover at Benzo Buddies calls doctors fuckers, threatens to bring them down

I wish we could bring these f*ckers down
« on: October 12, 2016, 01:19:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Disclaimer: I am sorry, this thread won’t be very positive.

I am almost at the end of my taper and I am getting angrier at, especially my ‘doctors/psychiatrists’ (but also on my pharmacy and the manufacturer) by the day. They took at least 10 years of my life and there is nothing we can do nor do I feel that they can do anything to repair this.

However, when I do feel better and have more energy I will definitely try to sue all of them. They should have told me about the potential of addiction and what it can do long-term. Also, when I started this all this stuff wasn’t mentioned in the leaflet. Also, I don’t understand why my pharmacy didn’t warn me, they should never have given me dosages for such long periods.

I do have the problem however that most-likely it has been too long ago that the first psychiatrist gave me this benzo and secondly that I’m located in The Netherlands where my chances of receiving more then a miserable €1000 for this would be close to none. I don’t care too much about money, but I couldn’t finish my college study because of this.

I want to sue these f*ckers even if my chances of winning are close to none and even if this is very negative, I want to let them know what they have done.

80-year-old buys ticket on Benzo Buddies roller coaster to Hell

Who I am.....
« on: June 05, 2016, 11:20:27 pm »

Buddie

I am Ron ,age 79. I am badly addicted to clonazepam. My physician warned me of this possibility, and now MUST do something about it. I have been taking 2MG daily for over 10 years. I’m sick and tired of sleeping the clock around, but CAN NOT sleep without my daily ‘hit’. (Also tired of being sick and constantly tired)