Kook takes months to work up nerve to post at online Jonestown

My first post on this website after registering some months ago
« on: October 15, 2018, 12:35:13 pm »

[Buddie]

Dear All,

Finally I decided to write my introduction.

I did a cold turkey on June 21st 2018. I vividly remember that day.
Since then I’ve never touched benzos and throw away everything.

The reason for me going CT (which I absolutely discourage) is because, before quitting, I didn’t know what was making me feel the way I felt. Dr/dp, Insomnia, anxiety, almost run into panic attacks, chest pain, fatigue, headache, brain fog, depression, lethargy, and many more..
As soon as I realized that it was because of the benzo I was taking, I quit immediately.

Little did I know, that you should taper.

The benzo I was taking is called Lormatazepam (Minias – Italian brand). I was taking 7 drops (ca. 0.85mg) intermittently. I started to take them once a week, or once every 2 weeks – when I really couldn’t sleep. After 5 months at this pace, I started taking them almost all nights. In what were not even 2 weeks, I reached tolerance.

The 21st of October it will be exactly 4 months that I am benzo free. Even though I am not having all the symptoms that I was having the first 2 months, the struggle is still a lot.
I fell in severe depression, and my headache doesn’t want to leave me! Not even for a second. I still had dr/dp episodes, but not so strong as the first month. Sleep is coming and going in waves. I can see the improvements, but it feels like the road is still sooo long.

Wish me good luck!
Thanks for reading!

D.

Don’t let it happen again: 40th anniversary of Jonestown massacre approaches

Benzo Buddies forces abused member to choose between cult and family

Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:16:29 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m the caregiver for my elderly parents. Today they said they’ve had enough of my debilitating symptoms and that I’m choosing to be this way. That I need to see a psychiatrist because they can’t take it anymore. It’s been 2 yrs. and NOTHING is better. Which is true. I don’t know what to do. This is destroying my family. I have no siblings. I tried to explain.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2018, 09:50:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I can so relate!

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2018, 10:10:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm
I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

You didn’t know… None of us knew.

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Now, I have to pay the price. It’s been a nightmare and it keeps getting worse. I’m losing everyone I love. I either have to go back on or lose my life. It’s that real.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Your parents are fed up? Doesn’t sound like they appreciate what you are trying to do. Can you let them go find their own help? I am sorry but your priority needs to be YOU right now and they could be preventing you from healing. Bye Bye Mom and Dad! That is what I would do. Sorry.

One day we will read of a Benzo Buddies member committing a mass shooting

Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« on: February 14, 2018, 03:59:03 am »

[Buddie]

I don’t know why but looking back just now I realized I threw somewhat of a tantrum when I was at a facility well it was called a facility bit it was terrible. Now I feel so embarrassed I don’t know why I did that I was so pissed and scared at the time I thought they were trying to keep me there. I was just cold turkeyed just before maybe that’s had something to do with it

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2018, 05:34:20 am »

[Buddie]

It would […]. :tickedoff:

I was sitting on a very crowded and cramped bus stop about 3 weeks ago and it was really hot.  The bus had those air brake things, and as each bus arrived and departed the air brakes made a horrible hissing, squealing sound.

I kept enduring until I just screamed at the final bus and told it to shut the F up.  Everyone looked at me.  Aarrgghh.

I was so embarrassed but did apologise to those around who looked at me strangely.  I never do stuff like that, it just overcame me.

I was in early WD and my apology was accepted.

It gets better.

Dee  :smitten:

Re: Threw a tantrum like a little kid humiliated
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2018, 11:30:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Vyea I just got into a big fight with my dad and I told him off he asked to help and I told him no and he kept going. And I started a fight with him and cursed him out I don’t feel to bad about it I’ve walked on eggshells a lot and it felt good to say f-u to him
« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 11:40:26 pm by [Buddie] »

BenzMom’s off pills but will be right back on them after a few months at the online Jonestown called Benzo Buddies

BenzMom Introduction
« on: February 05, 2018, 06:33:25 pm »

BenzMom

I am the mother of two children who was placed on Xanax over 15 years ago shortly after my daughter was born. In the course of those years I went off and on Xanax for about 5 years then my mother who was battling a long term battle with a malignant brain tumor became very sick. The Xanax led to other drugs all prescribed by my dr but I like many others needed more not realizing I was dependent. My mother passed away and other tragedies followed in my family. This past August I entered a rehab facility in another state for 5 weeks and gained my life back. I am off of Xanax and all other meds I was on for almost 6 months.

Thank you to this forum.

Ten-year Ativan slave joins online Jonestown, failure and misery to follow

It’s certainly time for a change.
« on: December 18, 2017, 12:02:16 am »

[Buddie]

Hello and thanks for allowing me to join Benzobuddies.
I am impressed by the quality of this community forum.

I’m ready to reduce my use of Benzodiazepine.
I’m using Ativan from Monday to Friday. O.5 mg or less.
Ten years.

Some support to reduce this use and quit will surely help.