Benzo Buddies maniac shrieks doctors deserve a bullet between the eyes

Re: I'VE LITERALLY LOST EVERYTHING DUE TO CLONOPIN WITHDRAWAL / RECOVERY
« Reply #25 on: December 20, 2016, 04:46:50 am »

[Buddie]

Same here.
I am currently so full of anger that Clonazepam took so many years(11 and counting) of my life. F*cking psychiaters and f*cking Roche. I want to sue them, but I feel like it would be useless, since there is nothing they can give me that gives me back all those years.

I have a beautiful son, but I feel dead, felt like that for the last 7-8 years or so. I want to be present for him. I hate the idiots who did this to me. Sorry for the foul language, but it would be crazy to
feel different, even while it’s negative.

Re: I'VE LITERALLY LOST EVERYTHING DUE TO CLONOPIN WITHDRAWAL / RECOVERY
« Reply #26 on: December 20, 2016, 11:59:08 am »

[Buddie]

No need to apologize for the language..NO NEED AT ALL. What has been done to us is quite simply a crime against humanity. It is only natural and perfectly appropriate to be ENRAGED!! Yes, anger episodes are part of withdrawal/recovery, but any rational/thinking human being would respond with utter disbelief and rage after being so gravely damaged by a chemical suggested to us by a doctor and PERSCRIBED by a doctor. Think about that for a second. A trained (12 to 16 yrs of medical training) medical professional (neurologist, psychiatrist, m.d.) is literally telling you that you have something wrong with you and that they want to put you on something that will help you. Something that is more neurotoxic and damaging to the brain than crack, cocaine, alcohol and heroin COMBINED!!! AND THEY ARE CLUELESS TO THIS REALITY!! AND EVEN WORSE, SOMETIMES THEY NO DARN WELL HOW NEUROTOXIC BENZOS ARE AND STILL THEY PRESCRIBE THEM !!! THAT IS CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR! !!…PERIOD!!

It amazes me that ANYONE ever makes it through this!!! Because benzos damage the encoding function in the brain, along with short and long term memory, you literally are trying to figure out and fight your way through the most despicable and relentless torture known to man WITHOUT the one thing you desperately MUST have to make it through – YOUR BRAIN!!! NONE of your thoughts can be trusted while going through this!! And YOU HAVE NO IDEA about any of this. Everything you do or […] stands a good chance of being wrong because your brain is simply to damaged to help you or to be trusted. And even the best Neurologists at esteemed university hospitals are utterly clueless. WVU Hospital, Johns Hopkins and Pittsburgh University Hospital – TOTALLY CLUELESS ONE AND ALL !!!!

But every Tom, Dick and Harry in any medical facility or rehab knows exactly how to take somebody off of cocaine, opiate pain killers, heroin, crack or alcohol!!! IT IS AMAZING THAT THEY CAN WITHDRAWAL PEOPLE OFF OF ANY STREET DRUG OR BOOZE WITH SCIENTIFIC PRECISION. YET NOT ONE F**KING CLUE ON HOW TO TAKE SOMEONE OFF BENZOS OR HOW PROFOUNDLY DAMAGED A BENZO PATIENT IS. IT’S UNCONTIONABLE AND UNACCEPTABLE.

If an over the counter med like Tylenol or Zantac was causing stomach or GI problems there would be national outrage, recalls and law suits up the ying yang. Yet benzos are semi permanently damaging people’s brains and not a peep from the medical community, consumer advocacy groups, the legal community or the Government!!! In my opinion, the doctors and drug companies responsible for this should be sued for BILLIONS…stripped of all their posessions, shunned, abandoned and forced to spend the rest of their lives volunteering for those they have so profoundly injured and destroyed. OR A bullet between the eyes would work too. (just kidding…I would never advocate such a thing..at least not publicly)

We are literally trained to seek a qualified professional when confronting physical or mental issues. We trust these people for God’s sake!! So its no surprise that millions of us end up walking right into the throws of chemical dependency (not addiction..and yes there’s a huge difference) and unimaginable suffering and loss. In fact, in my case I was vehemently against pills of any kind…period. The doctor spent a lot of time convincing me that I had an anxiety problem (yeah..it’s called managing 1.8 billion dollar marketing budget through the biggest economic crisis since the great depression) called General Anxiety Disorder and I had to take this little pill…much like a diabetic needs to manage their diabetes. Yes…the idiot broke out the old faithful diabetes scenario to sell me on taking clonazepam!!

I’ve spent weeks months and date I say years learning all I can about benzos and the damage they cause and the long term prognosis post benzos. And I can tell you that the receptors (GABA) destroyed in our brains DO REGENERATE. BUT the new receptors are much more frail and will NEVER be as effective and durable as the ones we are born with. So YES you will recover BUT NO YOUR BRAIN WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. 10 years from now if you have a stiff drink or a glass of wine or a flouroquinalin antibiotic etc you can and probably will end up right back in benzo withdrawal.

If you are taking benadryl. ..STOP. if you are taking sleepy time tea or st johns wort or any other natural supplement – STOP. If you are taking lyrica or neurotin…STOP. If you are taking antipsychotics to help with benzo withdrawal. ..ABSOLUTELY STOP (especially perphenezine and any in the perphenezine family). if you are taking NSAIDS like aleve, aspirin, advil, etc – STOP. Tylenol only. No caffiene and no chocolate. Pretty much any medication a doctor tried to give you to help you through this can and probably will hurt you. BELIEVE ME I’VE LIVED IT. Each time you reinstate you shock and more profoundly damage your brain. Therefore each withdrawal is more complex, more symptoms, exponentially more intense and longer/harder. This is a phenomenon known as “kindling.” Its very common in alcoholism (alcoholic damaged brain) and benzos.

Your best bet is to taper for YEARS if you have to. Trust me a very very very slow taper is the way to go. Go to Ashton Manual, Recovery – Road.org and Benzo WithdrawalHelp by Dr. Jennifer Leigh and LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND STAY AWAY FROM HOSPITALS AND DOCTORS. THEY ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HELP YOU

Why doesn’t the Church of Scientology sue Leah Remini?

Because every single word she says it true.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/leah-remini-wants-the-church-of-scientology-to-sue-her-w453213

Wonder if this L. Ron Hubbard lover was going to introduce anti-benzo legislation?

Benzo Buddies member: “Colin Moran is the most important person in the entire world”

Re: World Benzodiazepine Awareness day videos
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2016, 01:59:25 am »

[Buddie]

These are good videos.
Thanks for posting them.

I wonder if Colin has been asked to submit a video.
At this time Colin Moran is arguably
the most important person in the entire world
of benzo withdrawal and recovery.

How can we have a World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day
without an awareness of the largest, and really the only
benzo recovery website on the planet?
« Last Edit: July 10, 2016, 02:19:43 am by [Buddie] »

80-year-old buys ticket on Moran’s roller coaster to Hell

Who I am.....
« on: June 05, 2016, 11:20:27 pm »

Buddie

I am Ron ,age 79. I am badly addicted to clonazepam. My physician warned me of this possibility, and now MUST do something about it. I have been taking 2MG daily for over 10 years. I’m sick and tired of sleeping the clock around, but CAN NOT sleep without my daily ‘hit’. (Also tired of being sick and constantly tired)

THE WIDER MEMBERSHIP = HIVE MIND

JB: New member has read the Ashton Manual and can see she says it’s mostly psychological in low doses (true).
Admin totally ignores that part of his post, of course, and deflects it to “the wider membership”.
Sure, because the wider membership will agree with Ashton that it’s mostly psychological, surely… if Ashton says it… they’d never doubt that… right?
Umm, NO, they’ll pathologically disagree with that point! Which is weird since they exalt her above God when it comes to benzos! Hmmm.

hello
« on: June 03, 2016, 04:14:31 pm »

[Buddie]

i need support here, im 29 male
i’v been on ativan 5 -7 years. highest dose was 3mg
last year i was tapering with valium and finished 1 year and 3 months ago approx. i was clean until now.
after i finished tapering, about a few months later i started smoking weed and hash, smoking it for more than a year daily.. until i decided to pause and i couldnt sleep so i took ativan again, 1mg daily at bedtime for a week.
and than i started rapid tapering. every 2-3 days from 1mg to 0.75mg then 0.5+2mg diazepam then 0.25 ativan+5mg diaz and then 4mg diaz. something like that. at first i didnt monitor how much i take and when. but here i see i started to write at 26 april i was on 0.25mg ativan and 2mg diaz.
now i am 1mg diazepam and have horrible dizziness.5 days ago was the same as now so i updosed to 1.5mg for 2 days. the dizziness started yesterday evening. and overall i am on 1mg from 17 May. is it safe to quit cold turkey now? my hands sweat and look like i took a long bath
i also found out about the kindling effect now. if i knew, i would never took them again. the w\d now is alot worse. it was real breeze the first time.
atm i stopped drink alcohol, i was heavy drinker too but only at weekends and sometimes if i had vacation from work in middle of the week.
sorry for messed up post, i feel iritable and all kinds of feelings in my body and esspecially in my head.
and i still smoke hash everyday, do you think its a good idea? i heard it have anti seizure properties. but anyway i plan to stop when im gonna ran out. yesterday evening i had so bad dizzines i couldnt finish my a whole joint and i fel asleep pretty quickly, after few hypnic jerks 

Re: hello
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2016, 04:23:21 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi […]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

First withdrawals tend to be easier, I agree. Subsequent withdrawals tend to be more difficult due to kindling as you’ve discovered. As far as smoking has to prevent seizures, it is actually the cannabiol (CBD) that potentially helps with seizures. Smoking will burn up most of the CBD so you are less likely to get the anti-seizure properties of cannabis by smoking it.

Alcohol is problematic for many people trying to taper or recover from taking benzodiazepines because it affects the same nerves in the body. For this reason it may help very briefly but the symptoms tend to come back worse than ever afterwards.

Sorry for the bad news, but it helps to know what to do and not to do in this.

Let me give you some links to start posting to the wider membership about your other questions:

General Taper Plans
Withdrawal Support

Here is a link to the Ashton Manual simply for information about the withdrawal process. It does provide a lot of good information and is written by an expert in the field.

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you.
Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

~[…]

Re: hello
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2016, 04:39:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 03, 2016, 04:23:21 pm
For this reason it may help very briefly but the symptoms tend to come back worse than ever afterwards.

Sorry for the bad news, but it helps to know what to do and not to do in this.

thanks for the answer.

what do you mean by it may help briefly?

now that i dont drink make it worse too?
and what do you mean by it helps to know what to do and what not?

and i read the whole ashton manuel the 1st time i stoped.

he says coming off 1mg is easy and mostly psycological. but i see in this forum people mixing with alc or milk 0.00x grams, should i taper with titration too? i have only tablets of 2mg diazepam.

Re: hello
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2016, 04:46:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 03, 2016, 04:39:40 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on June 03, 2016, 04:23:21 pm
For this reason it may help very briefly but the symptoms tend to come back worse than ever afterwards.

Sorry for the bad news, but it helps to know what to do and not to do in this.

thanks for the answer.

what do you mean by it may help briefly?

now that i dont drink make it worse too?

Alcohol tends to alleviate benzodiazepine withdrawal symptoms for a few hours, then the symptoms come back and may be even worse.
No, not if you’re not drinking.

Quote
and what do you mean by it helps to know what to do and what not?

There are things that help with symptoms and things that seem to make them worse.

Quote
and i read the whole ashton manuel the 1st time i stoped.

he says coming off 1mg is easy and mostly psycological. but i see in this forum people mixing with alc or milk 0.00x grams, should i taper with titration too? i have only tablets of 2mg diazepam.

This is best asked of the wider membership. If you want to check into titration, here’s a link: Titration Taper Plans

Colin’s all-consuming obsession with the Beyond Meds superstar: Cult leader uses phony dependence vs. addiction debate as opportunity to smear Gianna

Re: Not something I agree with: addiction
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2016, 01:46:35 am »

Colin

Hi all,

It is quite simple, really. Dependency describes a physical state. Addition describes a set of behaviours. Both those ‘addicted to’ and ‘dependent upon’ benzodiazepines are welcome at BenzoBuddies. It just so happens that those who are ‘dependent’ after taking benzodiazepines prescribed by – and as directed by – their doctor far outweigh the number of members who might be more accurately described as ‘addicts’. The reality is that BB (and support groups like us) were formed by those who experienced very problematic ‘dependency’ to benzodiazepines. I, personally, do not like the word ‘dependency’ (I don’t feel I was ever ‘dependent’ upon it for anything), but this is small semantic quibble, and is just opinion. Though, certainly, I would never choose to use the word ‘addict’ for what I went through, nor for the majority of our members. So, the majority of our members might prefer the term ‘dependent’, simply because that is a better (generally accepted) description of their situation. But, language being what it is, some who might be (objectively) described as being ‘dependent’ instead choose to describe themselves as being ‘addicted’. And, vise versa. Although I can understand why some people are exercised by the (mis)use of these terms, and I think the words do have (pretty objectively) different meanings, we should not get bent out of shape by the term being used interchangeably. In the main, it is just people with different interpretations of the terms, and how it applies to them. I think both sides might make their points, but then just accept the (sincerely held) differing views of others on this matter.

However, what I really do not like, is when people try to tell others ‘how it really is’, without any regard to inherent inaccuracies of language, and that people will have different opinions about ‘addiction’ and ‘dependency’ (and most other matters too). To put that blog entry and blogger into perspective, we had a lot of problems with Gianna when she was a member of this community. She had what I can only describe as a ‘hissy fit’ when we rejected her calls (demands, actually) for us to have a ‘bipolar’ support board at this forum. She then habitually linked to her blog in most of her posts here (even adding a link in her signature line) after she was told by one of the BB Admins that she could not do this because she was soliciting donations at her website. She eventually stopped frequenting our forum. She did return, maybe a year or more later,; we eventually banned her account (for similar abuses of our linking policy).

After the ban, Gianna went on to misinform the readers of her blog of why she was banned from BB. I’ve long been aware of her blog entry about her ban from this site, but have not been previously motivated enough to address it (at least so fully).

I’ve been banned from Benzo Buddies (benzodiazepine withdrawal forum)

Quote
I was finally banned from Benzo Buddies which is rather amusing because I asked that I be removed from membership over a year ago since they would not let me freely share my experience of having been multi-drugged. They refused to remove me. Since that time I’ve not visited as a member.

Actually, ‘no’, that is not what occurred. The blogger, Gianna, asked a third-party to intervene and request that I delete her account (this was after she left of her own accord the first time around). As a policy matter, we do not delete accounts unless requested to do so, directly, by the member concerned. At least twice I relayed back through to Gianna via the third-party that she would have to login and make the request herself. Instead, perhaps a year or more later, Gianna returned to BB, but never made a request for her account to be deleted. Instead, she continued from where she had left off, making lots of posts, usually with links back to her blog (with its requests for donations). This is why we banned her account! The original blog entry about her ban from BB is older than the updated one she has there now. The opening, updated information in the blog entry now reads:

Quote
Update: politics among us — I continue to be banned from benzo buddies and they continue to break the links their members post to my work (their members often post my work as they find it helpful) — the administrators of the site break the links to my site so they cannot be followed and misinform their readers that my blog is a commercial enterprise. I find this very sad. Very sad indeed. It’s also unethical and nasty to make out my site is commercial. I still link to them as being a reliable source of information to free oneself from benzos…there isn’t too much out there at the moment….and I care more about people’s ability to free themselves from drugs than politics. Still there are larger implications to this position they’ve taken with me that effect all their visitors. Essentially they deny the potential grave dangerousness of other psych drugs besides benzos. That is the bottom line.

This is the same kind of tone she used when she practically demanded that BB have a bipolar support board. We have a policy of not allowing ‘active’ (clickable) links to commercial websites (this includes sites requesting donations). And, actually, the links are not ‘broken’ at all – they were just made non-clickable. And Gianna’s BB signature line link persists to this day (albeit, deactivated too). But, if we had decided to remove the links entirely, and/or any mention of Gianna and her blog from BB, that would be our decision, not hers. Gianna seems to have a problem understanding the limits of her domain; she demands that we change our policy as it is somehow unfair to her. What is “unethical” is to register with a group, agree to abide by their rules, to knowingly and continuously break those rules when pointed out to her, and then lie about the reasons for her ban. It is also generally considered very bad form to enter someone else’s ‘house’ and demand that they make changes to accommodate your particular interests.

So, anyway, that blog entry fits with what I already know about Gianna. I thought, given enough time, she would have thought better of it and remove the blog entry about her ban from BB. Gianna was wrong to demand that BB be structured to her own preferences; she is wrong to label all those going through benzodiazepines withdrawal as ‘addicts’.*

I’d prefer to not write anything about Gianna. In reality, I am not particularly bothered about her (false) accusations regarding the circumstances of her ban from this forum. But, I see the same general (poor) attitude on display in the blog entry linked in the opening post here, so I felt I would comment more generally (probably more than I needed to).

* I mean no disrespect to those who might be more properly described as addicts (or choose to term their situation as ‘addiction’). But, given the general stigma associated with the use of the term (and its generally accepted associated behaviours), it should come as little surprise that people who have problems with benzodiazepines, when taken as prescribed by their doctor, might prefer a different (and more descriptive) term.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2016, 01:54:17 am by Colin »

Re: Not something I agree with: addiction
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2016, 10:15:13 pm »

Colin

Hi,

I just wish to add, on the face of it, Gianna/Monica went through a really rough time. She is, quite evidently (and understandably) angry about what occurred to her. For this reason, I think she lacks objectivity. For similar reasons, this is why I caution members about extrapolating from the specific (their own experience) to the general; and is why BB has far more rules about writing style than content.

If Gianna is going to have such a ‘crusading’ blog, she will have to expect criticism. It comes with the territory. For the reasons I’ve already explained here and elsewhere, I do not think it sensible (or ethical) to make blanket (negative) statements about psychiatry and/or the medical profession. Things go wrong in every profession. And, of course, by the very nature of medicine, it is less exact than we might hope. Criticism and critiques are fine (and can be very useful too), but when we go further and make blanket statements based upon our personal experience (or the experiences of self-selecting groups), we are making the same kind of mistakes of which the self-interested medical trials by the pharmaceutical industry are sometimes accused.

So, I do not dismiss Gianna’s experiences. I just take issue with some of her generalisations. Well, that and her explanation of why she was banned from BenzoBuddies. ::)
« Last Edit: March 13, 2016, 10:24:57 pm by Colin »

Re: Not something I agree with: addiction
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2016, 04:47:59 am »

[Buddie]

It seems like I see links to Mad in America here all the time and they have a donation button. How is that different from Monica’s site? How come […] is free to put a link to Monica’s site but she herself can’t?

I suspect this has a lot more to do with conflicts other than the issue of whether a site is commercial, and I just can’t feel as down on her as you all seem to think we should be. I’ve looked at her site and it seems to me she’s knocking her lights out genuinely trying to help people.

Re: Not something I agree with: addiction
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2016, 08:55:15 am »

Colin

Quote from: [Buddie] on March 14, 2016, 04:47:59 am
It seems like I see links to Mad in America here all the time and they have a donation button. How is that different from Monica’s site? How come […] is free to put a link to Monica’s site but she herself can’t?

I suspect this has a lot more to do with conflicts other than the issue of whether a site is commercial, and I just can’t feel as down on her as you all seem to think we should be. I’ve looked at her site and it seems to me she’s knocking her lights out genuinely trying to help people.

Hi […],

Unless I’m mistaken, donations to MIA do not go to an individual (I could be wrong – please let me know if this is the case). Additionally, the position taken by a BB admin about Gianna’s links to her blog (with its appeal for donations) was a reasonable interpretation of our rules. There is no specific rule about this. Edge cases like this are prone to possible inconsistencies (not that I think that the MIA case is a proper comparison to Gianna’s). What I mean is, just maybe I (or another admin) would take a different view in either or both of these cases. Sometimes, it is a judgement call. Since I did not make the call, it is not possible for me to now post an unbiased view about what I would have done in either of those particular (edge) cases. But what I can say is this, I think the decision in each case is consistent with our rules (certainly not inconsistent) and that my guess is that I probably would have made similar determinations.

As for […] (or me) linking to Monica (Gianna’s) site and how is that different? Simple. When Gianna did it, it was self-interested promotion. When […] (and I) did it, it was in the aid of discussion.

This has nothing to do with “conflicts”. Gianna was banned from BB for consistently breaking our rules before blogging her (false) comments about the reasons for her ban from BB. The linked article, “we are all addicts” reminded me of other attitudes displayed by Gianna in the past. It was not an ad hominem attack precisely because I made clear it was her attitude with which I took issue. I addressed the content of her article separately. I don’t have a problem with criticisms or critiques of BB, but if sufficiently motivated, I might point out flat-out falsehoods – this should hardly come as a surprise. Here’s an example of how I react to criticisms of BB:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=151694.msg2037304#msg2037304

Hardly the most eloquent critique of BB policies, but the poster is entitled to her views.

As for MIA (where the above appeared): I am not a great fan. Specifically, I don’t agree with their reasons for allowing so-called ‘information’ originating from Scientology to be posted at their website. Indeed, Scientologists are welcome to participate there. As I’ve written many times, Scientology are not honest brokers of information (they have an agenda to spread their own brand of ‘therapeutic counselling’, Dianetics – the abolition of psychiatry is part of that agenda). Further, allowing the dissemination of ‘information’ from Scientology invites unnecessary ridicule and skepticism, damaging their aims (and the aims of others) to make psychiatry more accountable.* So, I do not have a positive bias towards MIA. However, from what I have read there, I think they do provide some good information, and potentially useful critiques and discussion. If Gianna’s article had instead appeared at MIA, I would have been just as critical about it. And, if I might add, not withstanding my specific criticisms, I’m sure Gianna posts a lot of useful and/or interesting articles at her blog too.

I think it also worth me stressing that even BB members sometimes post (at BB) critiques of this place, its policies, me, etc. None of that, in of itself, is a problem or moderation issue. In example, I point you to the following BB thread, which questioned if BB could be more detrimental than positive for some people:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=48083.0

My initial response, here:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=48083.msg650876#msg650876

You might also read our feedback board.

Please keep in mind that BB is, first and foremost, a discussion space. And I am as entitled as any other member to post my views.

Edited to remove some repetition, for typos, and clarifications.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2016, 11:00:07 pm by [Buddie] »