Ashton tapers turning people into addicts?

Becoming more addicted with taper plan
« on: April 07, 2017, 01:08:02 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello!

I have recently startet a taper plan after getting adviced that my original plan by going cold turkey was not the smartest idea.

As i have not made a sig yet ill quickly explain what dose ive been on previously and for what period:
Been on Valium for about 1 year, I do not however take it everyday, on average I have been taking it 5-6 days a week.
My doses for the past 4 months has varied between 15-35mg the days I have taken it (I have only taken it based on what I feel I need when I would experience social anxiety). I have also been on Valium in the past, then on smaller doses (max 10-15mg) and maximum 3 months time. I have cold turkey then without any problems.

Four days ago I started a taper plan with 10mg a day, (2,5mg in morning, 2,5mg afternoon, and 5mg night). Prior to this I was going cold turkey for about 9 days with two “rescue doses” in total of that period, first one being 10mg and 2nd being 15mg, so 25mg total in those 9 days.
I have not experienced any side effects with my taper plan so far, except for slighty “cloudy mind”.

My problem with the taper plan however is that I more and more feel like I am building up a much bigger addiction to the drug with my taper plan as I now know I absolutely need to take it to certain times, and it was not like this before at all, where i would just take it based on my actual needs. Now I know that when I wake up I will need to take a dose, around dinner time ill take another dose and before going to bed ill take a third dose. I truly feel like I am getting alot more addicted to the drug than I have been before, and I am really afraid that this is going to make it alot harder to quit it.

Does anyone have any suggestion to what I could do in my situation to make it better not worse?

Ashton tapers cause “melting face”

Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« on: June 07, 2016, 02:52:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone:

I don’t know if right place to post and i hesitate to do so but I’ve had severe physical symptoms and am looking to see if anyone else has experienced this where it has gone away or at least gotten better…. the ones most distressing and pure torture and where I […] can’t do this anymore are:

Muscle contractions and spasms in forehead …above eyebrows and in between eyebrows….. You can visibly see the muscles move and go up and down back and forth…. Pure pure utter torment ( the worst pain you can imagine)

Eyes involuntarily close shut and squeeze and jerk for seconds moments at a time

Nerves underneath left eye especially, jump upwards, shake ,vibrate and pull and cramp like crazy (and also inside of eye) sometimes staying in a locked position

Jaw involuntarily jerks back and forth from left to right; teeth grinding into each other, sometimes clenches really tight

The muscles in my lips will contract and pull from left to right and also tick …sometimes they will spasm where the muscles in my my lips are making my mouth pull all the way to the left
The muscles in my bottom lip will actually pull my bottom lip inside out and downwards and will pull and contract and vibrate

Sometimes its so severe on my left side that the forehead eyes jaw and mouth will all contract at once..TORTURE and pain.

I actually have to wear tape on my face to minimize the movement and pain

My chin also spasms up and down

These are sobad at times I have to put athletic like tape under my eyes and forehead to minimize the pain.and movement.

None of my mouth movements are so much as grimacing as they are more like muscles […] spasming and contracting out of control….

I am so desperate for encouragement as I can no longer bear it….. As you can imagine I have been housebound for 14 months …..I could never go out in public this way…. It is hideous…

The hopelessness and despair are off the charts…. I have the most severe health anxiety a person could ever have….my heart constantly feels like its going to jump out of my chest

I wish I had the ability to be of more encouragement and help to others because that is exactly what I would be doing but I can’t even help myself… I feel so alone with all of this…

If someone can be kind enough to give me some hope and encouragement or ideas of what I could to. I rarely if ever get relief….. I am on the verge of having a breakdown from all the symptoms…….
This has devestated my life…. I can’t sustain this…

thank you to anyone who has read and can sympathize…..

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2016, 03:24:01 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi, I too had many strange and disturbing muscle symptoms. These will go away once you’re off and well into healing. This is from the Ashton Manual:

Benzodiazepines are efficient muscle relaxants and are used clinically for spastic conditions ranging from spinal cord disease or injury to the excruciating muscle spasms of tetanus or rabies. It is therefore not surprising that their discontinuation after long-term use is associated with a rebound increase in muscle tension. This rebound accounts for many of the symptoms observed in benzodiazepine withdrawal. Muscle stiffness affecting the limbs, back, neck and jaw are commonly reported, and the constant muscle tension probably accounts for the muscle pains which have a similar distribution. Headaches are usually of the “tension headache” type, due to contraction of muscles at the back of the neck, scalp and forehead – often described as a “tight band around the head”. Pain in the jaw and teeth is probably due to involuntary jaw clenching, which often occurs unconsciously during sleep.

At the same time, the nerves to the muscles are hyperexcitable, leading to tremor, tics, jerks, spasm and twitching, and jumping at the smallest stimulus. All this constant activity contributes to a feeling of fatigue and weakness (“jelly-legs”). In addition, the muscles, especially the small muscles of the eye, are not well co-ordinated, which may lead to blurred or double vision or even eyelid spasms (blepharospasm).

None of these symptoms is harmful, and they need not be a cause of worry once they are understood. The muscle pain and stiffness is actually little different from what is regarded as normal after an unaccustomed bout of exercise, and would be positively expected, even by a well-trained athlete, after running a marathon.

There are many measures that will alleviate these symptoms, such as muscle stretching exercises as taught in most gyms, moderate exercise, hot baths, massage and general relaxation exercises. Such measures may give only temporary relief at first, but if practised regularly can speed the recovery of normal muscle tone – which will eventually occur spontaneously.

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2016, 03:39:34 pm »

[Buddie]

Bless your heart […] for responding….. I truly mean it from the core of my being….I didn’t think anyone would because normally people don’t respond to my symptoms which is why I usually don’t post them… It […] creates more fear from the lack of responses…. I keep thinking someone somewhere would be able to give me a life raft or […] the tiniest glimmer of hope…

Because this is my second time around my despair has overtaken me……

Thank you […]…

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2016, 04:14:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone else please? any words of encouragement would be so appreciated…. Please keep me going….

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2016, 04:23:59 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey there. I’m very new to this however, I have had some of the issues you’re talking about in your post. You’re soooooo not alone. I had a pretty traumatic experience as well, and lets say it still affects me every minute of every day.

Here’s what has helped take that ‘edge’ off. My spouse got me some lavender bath salts. Put them in the tub, sat me down in the tub, and turned the water on as warm as I could tolerate. I soaked for over 2 hours. I was doing this a couple times a day. […] breathing deep while soaking. Like really deep. I was trying to push my belly out of the water deep breathing.

It didn’t ‘cure’ anything, but it really did take that final ‘edge’ off and really helped. It kept me focused on breathing and staying still and it felt good. Again, i’m super new here, and new to all these issues, but when i’m at that ‘point’, i do the bath thing, and it keeps me ‘afloat’ for a good solid hour or 2. Hang in there.

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2016, 04:35:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 07, 2016, 04:23:59 pm
Hey there. I’m very new to this however, I have had some of the issues you’re talking about in your post. You’re soooooo not alone. I had a pretty traumatic experience as well, and lets say it still affects me every minute of every day.

Here’s what has helped take that ‘edge’ off. My spouse got me some lavender bath salts. Put them in the tub, sat me down in the tub, and turned the water on as warm as I could tolerate. I soaked for over 2 hours. I was doing this a couple times a day. […] breathing deep while soaking. Like really deep. I was trying to push my belly out of the water deep breathing.

It didn’t ‘cure’ anything, but it really did take that final ‘edge’ off and really helped. It kept me focused on breathing and staying still and it felt good. Again, i’m super new here, and new to all these issues, but when i’m at that ‘point’, i do the bath thing, and it keeps me ‘afloat’ for a good solid hour or 2. Hang in there.

Oh my gosh! You mean you’ve experienced some of these symptoms?!?! Thank you for the bath tip so much…. I’m […] feeling I can’t endure no matter what I tried because it feels so permanent and its been going on so long….

If you don’t mind me asking when did it start and for how long….. I’m crying so much right now because someone responded to me.. Thank you […]……

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2016, 04:45:10 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 07, 2016, 04:35:06 pm
If you don’t mind me asking when did it start and for how long….. I’m crying so much right now because someone responded to me.. Thank you […]……

Honestly the, what I called ticks, lasted a few weeks. It wasn’t fun. I thought I was literally going insane, and that I had caused permanent damage. The majority of the ticks faded with time, but I still have one… One that more bugs me rather than hurts or makes me feel crummy. My ear drum feels like it’s constantly popping in and out at such a slow pace, that i can literally fell it popping like a muscle twitch. Geez it’s annoying. I’ll pray for ya that this’ll clear up. I found solace that with time, some of my symptoms faded. Some are still roaring… but none of the symptoms you posted about up there are still persistent in me at least.

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2016, 05:11:53 pm »

[Buddie]

I do empathize with you. The aim must be difficult. Even though I don’t have those symptoms I do have bad amxiety. I did have jolts through my body and occasional
twitches but not so much anymore. For me the insomnia makes me anxious and dizzy so sometimes I loose my balance but haven’t fallen yet. You will get through this. The brain needs time to heal itself. You will triumph.

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2016, 05:15:04 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello pbh,
I am so sorry to hear about your symptoms. I’ve had a real problem with grinding my teeth. I almost always chew a toothpick and that helps. Sugarless gum also helps. Maybe that would help your jaw clinching and teeth grinding? Maybe try massaging your face, temples with your fingers gently. I’ve used a hot rice pack on my forehead for relaxation. You will get better. I […] wanted to respond even if I am of little help. […] to offer some encouragement. ??

Re: Does anyone have or had this? Please Respond...so Desperate
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2016, 05:38:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Every single person that has responded thank you so much and you have helped me….. I appreciate it very much…..The fear is still so ever present that this is permanent….. My facial symptoms have increased slowly over time and I’ve been dealing with this now for 15 months (maybe it is time to see a real doctor, not a Benzo Buddies doctor – editor) at varying intensities at different times of the day….

That is why I become so frantic and utterly hopeless…..dealing with this for so long and going thru another taper is more then I can bear…. I don’t think I can survive ….

Former Xanax eater joins online pity party, immediately blames doctor

New Cry Baby Here
« on: June 07, 2016, 03:25:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everyone. I’m obviously new here… and here’s a little about me, and why I feel like a cry baby.

I was given 1.5mg Xanax for sleep, that was years ago. Never upped the dose, never took more than prescribed… Then like many before me, was given an opiate for pain relief. Well that was for years!

Fast forward to a few months ago. I wanted my life back, and not be chained to pill bottles anymore. Jumped ct off the pain pills. Had a bad 1 or 2 weeks, and boom, recovered from that. No lingering effects or anything. Felt crummy, but after about the 2 week mark, felt like life was back. Here’s where things got interesting…

I thought Xanax was the same type of thing. That I could just ct that too. Boy oh boy what was I thinking. Made it to like day 2, and was taking it again, but that’s where things got interesting. I could never find stability again! I was 100% stable taking the 1.5mg at night only. Never took them during the day… Just at night. No issues, no problems, no inter-dose withdrawal, nothing. I was fine. Well, when I got back on them, no matter what I tried, I felt like my head was going to explode, i basically lived in the bath tub, and damn near wanted to end it.

Someone who I adore took me to the ER, and the folks at the ER said I was suffering benzo dependance. I was like, duh! I’m not here for drugs, i showed her my full pill bottle, and I asked how do I get normal again? She literally said ‘I don’t know, but there’s nothing I can do for you here, unless you want to go to detox, and that’ll actually hurt more than help as its only 5 days, but I have to offer.’

Long story short, it took me 2 weeks to get an appt with my pdoc, and I specifically asked for a good solid taper plan. The pdoc had me reduce Xanax by .25mg every 3 days, while taking 10mg of Valium. The 10mg of Valium was to only last 2 weeks, and at the end of that 2 weeks, I was to go to 7.5mg, and the following 2 weeks, down to 5mg… etc.

Here’s where I went sideways. I pushed down and followed the doctors letter to a T to get off the Xanax. Just so happened, I felt great! I felt like the king of the world. Well, I made the Xanax jump, not thinking ahead, on the same day that I had to drop to 7.5mg of Valium.

3 days later, it got gnarly. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but I had to jump back up to 10mg of Valium just to think straight and take care of my kids. The headaches are horrible, sleep is something of the past, and i’m feeling defeated.

Well fast forward to now… I’m on day 2 of going back down to 7.5mg after getting semi-normal on the 10mg again. Pdoc wants me on this for 4 weeks, and we’ll have a new appt then. It seems the pdoc listened to me, but only kind of. Pdoc said that with Valium, ‘there’s no chemical way you’re feeling withdrawals because of the half-life of Valium. It’s all made up in your head. You need to understand that.’

Anyways, here I sit, at 7.5mg on day 2, feel super super crummy, feeling like i’m losing the motivation to want to quit, because this road is uncharted, hard, and ya. Just feel like a failure at everything because it’s ‘made up in my head’.

Anyways, i’m keeping a word doc of my journey, all the twists and turns, more like a journal, and i’m on page 36 already. That’s how many thoughts and twists and turns I’ve taken. IDK. I know i know, there’s light at the end of the tunnel and all that jazz, but is there a faster way to the end of the tunnel? And if not, how do I get my pdoc to listen? I personally feel that the rate of taper might be a little to fast, but pdoc justifies it with ‘Valium has a built in self taper, and you shouldn’t feel withdrawal at the rate we are going. It’s all in your head’. I mean seriously, how much of this is in my head?

Sorry for being long winded, but that’s just where i’m at, my story (very very short version believe it or not) and ya.

40 years of benzos… for PMS?

40 plus yrs. on Benzos Cold Turkey in June 2015
« on: March 03, 2016, 02:14:02 am »

[Buddie]

Greetings from Southern California… I found Benzo Buddies 2 months ago and decided to join today. I chose this screen name as after using Benzos for 40 plus years, I do feel it may be part of my DNA. (lol)…At age 17 I was prescribed valium 5mg for PMS (the medical field had no idea what PMS was in the early 70’s). Then at age 22 I was prescribed Xanax 0.5mg 3x daily. (I was told I would love this new drug as it was NON ADDICTIVE). Fast forward to age 35 a new MD. prescribed a better ( NON ADDICTIVE DRUG) Ativan 2mg 4x daily. Sold down the river without GOOGLE. And for the past 12 years I have used Klonopin 8 to 10 mgs a day (this was a prescription.) However… In June of 2015 I went COLD TURKEY. So I am 8 months FREE.
I hope I can give to this forum what it’s given me. So happy to have found you all !!!