“A rude psychiatrist at the hospital forced me on Zoloft”

Face twitching
« on: November 12, 2020, 03:49:57 am »

[Buddie]

Hey guys so I’ve been trying to stay strong and hang in here but it’s so hard. I just keep going somehow but am still recovering. I’m 6 weeks out this Saturday. Just always having different symptoms but the head muscle symptoms are the worst. I’ve been wearing a headband on my head and that has helped a lot but its like my face has a mind of it’s own. I sleep fine and eat fine. Occasionally I get cog fog but coffee helps. I am able to eat healthy and do get days of going out but things feel so terribly hopeless sometimes. I do not know what normal feels like since this hell started 6 months ago. I am a member of surviving antidepressants also but find it hard to concentrate to even fill out my signature. Does this really end and do people fully recover and get to return to a normal life. I hear stories of so many people years out and not yet recovered. It makes me sad. I am having my teeth out next week and getting nitrous oxide which scares me that it might kindle my gaba receptors. I would hate to make things worse. Anxiety wise I do not know what to do. While I am seeing great improvement in that field I do not know if I will manage without anything but I do not think my brain can handle more chemicals. I live at home and have been able to rest because of my family which don’t care if it takes 2 years for me to get better. Hopefully all this cbt will get rid of the anxiety enough that got me here in the first place. I really wanna be able to go back to school… and work out but the most I can manage right now is some cardio. Does this really get better? My dad has gone on and off benzos his whole life easily and I am honestly jealous. He does not take them anymore but takes flexeril. He too had a bad reaction to ssri’s which almost killed him. However he thinks I should try a tricyclic antidepressant because we have many family members who did find with this drug, but they also did fine on benzos. I had an aunt with a klonopin addiction she died very young and ended up on methadone and I am afraid of following her footsteps and ending up an alcoholic or on methadone. Something tells me she did it to supress klonopin withdrawal that a doctor put her on at 19. She also died very young. I do not know what to think anymore. All these people friends and therapists care about me but I feel lost and have lost complete trust in the medical community. I also feel cursed that my body does not tolerate medication when I am so mentally ill. Another part of me is greatful I have time to recover and sleep off years worth of stress hoping that one day I wake up better from both anxiety and withdrawal. I was brutally cold turkeyed off ssris by a very mean doctor who called me crazy when withdrawal started. Then :knowing that I was having an adverse reaction to ssri’s. I ended up having to take a benzo everyday to cope and after a 8 week taper am better then most but clearly still unwell. Thank-you for listening to me rant.

KLONO-HELL

I REALLY NEED SOME ANSWERS....cannot live like this any longer
« on: November 04, 2020, 09:38:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m at 7 1/2 months off .5 clonazepam taken as directed daily for 20 years. I was in tolerance for a year and a half before I ct’d. I have been unfunctional and bedridden for two years now. My whole body is shutting down. I can’t even touch my skin without having extreme pain. Cognitive function has not improved…getting worse. The tinnitus is getting worse every day. I have to have the volume on loud on the t.v. to try to drown it out.

The looping thoughts and constant phrases from a song go through my head all day long. The dp/dr is worsening I’m existing in an alternate universe) and I haven’t been able to even go sit outside anymore (I used to go out for just a couple minutes a few times a day). My vision is so bad that I cannot even look at my cellphone for more than a couple minutes at a time. The last time I was out of my house at all was 2 weeks ago. I went for a drive with my husband, which was excruciating. The only time I’m out of bed is to go lay on the couch in pain for a few hours each night so I can try to watch t.v. with my husband (we haven’t slept in the same bed for over 2 years, let alone have any sexual intimacy). I have to constantly twirl my hair or pick at myself because of the extreme anxiety. My heart races and my skin burns. I am not sweating as severely as I once was, but the body burning is so bad.

My brain thinks of something random and then all of a sudden it is gone and a few seconds later I cannot remember what the thought was. I have no contact with anyone…not even on the phone. This has been going on for 2 years. The phone gives me extreme anxiety. Trying to be around people has become non-existent too.

This has taken a toll on my relationships with my kids….non-existent now, my husband, the rest of my family and my friends.

I ask for God to let me die in my sleep. Is there anyone out there who has been affected as much as I have and gotten any better? How long do I have to exist in hell like this?
« Last Edit: November 04, 2020, 09:48:03 pm by [Buddie] »

30 years of Xanax ends with a cold turkey

Benzo hell
« on: July 15, 2020, 05:56:55 pm »

[Buddie]

After recently researching Xanax withdrawal and symptoms was directed to this group. Been on a cocktail of psych meds since the age of 25 currently 58 years old. This was for the all so common depression and anxiety Diagnosis, started Xanax at 25 years of age with ever increasing doses up to 55 years of age. Emergency room visit at 55 years of age was abruptly taken off Xanax, and that’s where the horror begin.

It sounds like a real medical problem

DAY 80 CT "BENZO BELLY" NEED REASSURANCE?
« on: April 20, 2020, 12:31:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi Everyone

Day 80 C/T from 15mg of Diazepam.

I need to get this out there it’s the most bothersome symptom at present, The only way to describe this is the right upper abdomen feels swollen under the ribs i was thinking possibly my liver 🙈 freaking out big time because of it, i get aches and pains roundabout where i feel it’s swollen and it radiates sometimes to the side and back, my gas smells awful (sorry) and i also have this tightness around the upper back also, I’ll get the occasional itchiness also n that has me almost in panic attack! Because I can’t tell if it’s inflammation or simply wd and benzo belly!

Explosive diarrhea 5 days ago, then pale stools, now it’s back to normal 🤦

Can someone pls share their experiences and does this sound like WD/benzo belly???

Thank you.

Woman’s vagina goes numb after Ativan cold turkey, husband very worried

Private area
« on: November 25, 2019, 04:17:59 pm »

[Buddie]

I was CT off Ativan for 6 week use. I knew nothing of the meds. It was in August and I have so many symptoms I don’t know how I’m surviving. My private area feels numb it started after I stopped the meds had anyone had this happen and does it ever fix. My husband is very worried and I am afraid we will never have what we once did

Re: Private area
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2019, 04:39:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi Mrt, Your sig says that you are still taking .25. But you C/T’d, right?
Anywhere you have nerve endings, one can experience numbness/tingling or pain. It’s hard but I could cope better with this compared to the burning painful nerve sensations. It’s not permanent. You are getting hit hard with sxs right now. Sounds like acute and it is miserable and terrifying. The good new is that is slowly improves. For some, it can improve rather quickly.
Hang in there Mrt.

Re: Private area
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2019, 04:48:49 pm »

[Buddie]

I have numbness and electrical shock sensations in vagina area.

I have lost all internal sensation and who,e body feels like made of waxy latex.

Super-rich drug abuser wants to cold turkey 50 zillion drugs

Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« on: May 10, 2019, 02:04:05 am »

[Buddie]

CT Klonopin .5mg, Seroquel XR150mg, Cigarettes, and everthing. I going to restrict myself with no phone and on call support for meals, and I did pay for 2 years of bills today. And food for three months in deep freezer and eat to make meals. I’m prepared for the worst like my health anxiety, and best on normal ground to deal every day stuff. I only took drugs for sleep but sleep dep and sleep med side effects, WD and sleep anxiety cause al sort of s***! No normal human should indure. I have been off K before 3 weeks and moderate sx’s. My last WD.
I been through it all already. F-it.

P.S. I have been up in the past with insomnia for 22 days straight documented in med history. So what do you think is worst! Your stomach, or sweats, or a nightmare, I have had it all. So I”m burnout and say F_it!

P.S. I went through 16 meds for a month at a time each with dieffernt doasages, and highest recommended strengths for sleep this past 13 months. EX: Ambien CR 12.5 at 2 at bedtime. I have taken sleep meds to the max extreme also this last year. And it only prolonged the insomnia with side effects and wd from them also. To me a 12-pk of beer and a 1/8 mg of K is fine by me.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 03:09:27 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2019, 02:18:03 am »

[Buddie]

TrenchMob,

I am worried about you. That is a lot to quit all at once.

Do you live with family or have family close by to double check on you?

Please be careful and stay safe.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2019, 02:26:34 am »

[Buddie]

I too am worried. You do risk having to reinstate which may cause more issues in the future. Is there a reason you want to jump from such a high dose? I highly advise against it. I was on .5 milligrams of klonopin as well and cut it to 50% and it was very difficult. I then cut to .125 and i had to updose it was so bad. I know you have likely read your share of horror stories and I’m not trying to scare you. I just know what it feels like and you are at a pretty high dose to jump from. If you don’t have to, I wouldn’t.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2019, 02:31:13 am »

[Buddie]

CTs are not the way to go. They aren’t safe despite what you hear on here from one person in particular but others as well. You’re creating a situation where you’re at a really high risk of losing your life when you CT not to mention psychosis that can complicate and screw up your mental health for life. It’s a fact that once you have one attempt or a psychotic episode you’re at higher risk of having them again throughout your life. Don’t do that to yourself. Do a rapid taper if you need to and get in person support to minimize those risks but a CT is just harming yourself. People are here to support you and there have been so many who’ve gone off the medication some of which didn’t make it but we’ve benefitted from their experiences and you can too.

Re: Biggest withdrawl ever on here.
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2019, 02:37:25 am »

[Buddie]

Well I can’t CT tonight, drinking hard for one normal night in a long time, But will not take meds tonight. Will wait with hungover 1-2 days. Than continue taper at Seroquel first than K. Yes, I do live with family and well off. Everything is paid for the house,cars, and everything else. $$$$$$$$$. But if need to i’m a hard ass extremist but I don’t to view that now since Benzos affected half of my life so far now with tolereance WD and now taper. F-it its a low dose CT now with 4 other CT’s.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 02:44:30 am by [Buddie] »

Xanax addicted pothead can’t watch TV without bursting into tears

Brain Hypersensitivity and Tension/Pressure Headaches and Sensitivity to TV
« on: May 08, 2019, 11:09:21 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi everybody,

Anyone else experiencing Tension/Pressure that hits you like a wave on the top of your head where it feels like someone is pushing you down? It’s really scary, I get dizzy and can’t walk. I also am really sensitive to noises (had to turn off the clocks in my house). And I am unusually sensitive/emotional to watching TV and news, I just feel very anxious and I cry when I normally NEVER cry, so I stopped watching it.

But, I am a HUGE Game of Thrones fan and it’s been really difficult/scary for me to watch the show because I get so much anxiety and I am scared I will have a stroke in my brain because it feels so weird! I feel like I know what part of my brain is being triggered with each different emotion. Anxiety/Stress gives me crazy Tension/Pressure Headaches, the other emotions feel like my brain is being stimulated with vibrations. Or I have goosebumps/chills in my brain (best way I can describe it), it’s just really weird and scary!

I’m scared to see my friends because I don’t know what emotion will be triggered with what they talk about or ask me, and how my brain is going to react to it! Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how long does it last? And do you have any coping tips or know of an OTC or herbal remedy? HELP!

I’m scared that this is permanent. I have been abusing Xanax for 13 years and started smoking marijuana, heavily for the past 2 years. I have a very high tolerance. The past 4 months I was pretty much smoking marijuana ALL DAY and night since I had really bad insomnia and was taking anywhere from 2 1/2-4 mgs of Xanax. About a month and a half ago I quit marijuana and smoking cigarettes, cold turkey. And decided to start tapering off Xanax by.25mg each week, but I started at 2mgs. And I think I reduced it too quickly and also the withdrawal from marijuana, I feel has magnified my withdrawal symptoms.

I feel like I’m going crazy and turning into a major hermit out of fear. Can anyone help, please? 🙏