Jello brain « on: January 26, 2018, 06:31:29 am »
Does anyone feel like jello moves around the brain with head compression usually on the back or scalp? I’ve noticed a trend.. the stomach cramps for a while,
Then I get some parasthesia in my abdomen and legs, then my chest.. then the stomach stops cramping but the brain starts squeezing.. it’s a cycle.. sometimes all at once but usually like this. First GI issues second parasthesia third head compression.. jello brain
Has anyone ever looked into a leaking Blood Brain Barrier? « on: March 21, 2017, 11:40:04 pm »
I see alot of similarities between our symptoms and people who have a leaky blood brain barrier.. I also see a connection between people who develop alzheimers who have the leaky BBB. This would explain people’s food sensitivities along with chronic fatigue syndrome
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 11:47:29 pm by [Buddie] »
Re: Has anyone ever looked into a leaking Blood Brain Barrier? « Reply #1 on: November 16, 2017, 01:25:38 pm »
I think you are onto something. Have been looking into leaky gut, and then found that changing my diet to a GAPS Intro Diet (all soup broth, meat, few veggies, super low inflammation), changed my symptoms. And now I think it is leaky brain.
The doctors say I shouldn’t be having this hard of a time with WD, and that I must be ‘sensitive’ to benzo’s.
I know your post is old but if you found anything out on this, I would be interested, and will be looking into it.
Re: Addiction/Dependence Discussion « Reply #60 on: July 05, 2017, 07:20:24 am »
Quote from: [Buddie] on July 05, 2017, 05:36:12 am
Photo, you did say you were begging God to die when you were C/T’d off of 3mg Xanax. Some of us wouldn’t have to beg God to die off of that dose. Some of us would have actually died from that kind of cold turkey. 3mg Xanax is 6mg Ativan. If I had to C/T off of that much, I would no longer be on this Earth. It would have been too much for my body to handle. Some people like yourself have the genetic makeup to physically endure being on those kinds of doses. Many of us could not do that.
no wonder i am such a severe case and taking so long to heal. c/td from 30 mg valium – 1750mg soma and 2mg xanax after being on a […] high dose of klonopin. i tried to do a successful cross over from klonopin to valium but couldn’t get lower than 30 mg. sorry, just had to vent on how much i did such a stupid thing. why didn’t ANYONE tell me something else? i’m surprised i am not dead. i wish to God i was only on 3mg xanax or 6 mg ativan instead. by the way the last day of all the benzo’s i was on – i had taken some ativan in my cocktail. know this is a debate kind of thread but i just had to vent off LF’s post. 
my poor brain. 
Anyone have this please! « on: February 20, 2017, 08:03:57 pm »
I have been experiencing involuntary movements of my head vigorously swaying back and forth in a large big circle while my eyes kind of roll in my head?
What am I experiencing? This is A very old sx that just came back…. Terrified
Re: Anyone have this please! « Reply #1 on: February 20, 2017, 08:47:12 pm »
Then I had involuntary body movements where all my limbs starting jerking and contorting…. Face dystonic ally spasming head jerking back jaw stuck wide open with load moaning and vocal tics…
This all came back when I did an updose and am now holding about 5 days…
Please respond on your thoughts
I must be the only one on here so unbelievably brain damaged from what I can tell
Re: Anyone have this please! « Reply #2 on: February 20, 2017, 08:51:20 pm »
There is no one on this forum that even comes close to this?
no one
Re: Anyone have this please! « Reply #3 on: February 20, 2017, 08:53:03 pm »
I’m having severe panic attacks from this… This has to end
Does anyone else have a fear of going insane? « on: February 01, 2016, 09:41:37 pm »
Does anyone else have a fear of losing their mind? I’m so scared throughout this whole thing that I’m going to go insane. I’m so terrified of it. That and a huge fear of psychosis. Lately I’ve just had a need to write my fears down, to see if anyone else going through this can relate. I swear sometimes all that I’m enduring is so bizarre and horrifying and just unimaginable. I can’t describe it more but sometimes I just get this feeling along with just a huge fear of it that I’m actually or going to actually lose my mind. I had this much worse at about 3 months off but it’s come and gone all throughout my withdrawal. It’s been especially bad during this past couple of weeks after the emergence of tremors which I hadn’t had since cold turkey and once exactly one month out. Does anyone else get this too? I’m so tired of feeling terrified of things I had never even thought of ever in my life before this horrific nightmare. I literally feel poisoned, and as though my brain is melted in spots, damaged beyond repair. I’m sorry for so many posts lately. And I’m sorry if this one makes me sound crazy. I’m just doing the best that I can to get through it. If you can share feeling similarly to anything I’ve written above it will be so very greatly appreciated. I just really need to feel like I’m not alone in this today. Thank you so much.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2016, 10:04:39 pm by [Buddie] »
Re: Does anyone else have a fear of going insane? « Reply #1 on: February 01, 2016, 10:28:28 pm »
And sometimes I do go just a little bit insane, I’m glad there’s only my dog here to see me sometimes. One thing though, that helps…The Buddhist thing: everything changes, nothing stays the same for long…That goes for the bad, as well as the good. So I know that even if I do feel kind of out of my mind today, I also know that the next hour, the next afternoon, the next night, the next day, the next week…it will change. It’s what I count on while I try to stay in the moment and not fight anything, but just try to relax into it, this helps me get through. Just my thoughts.
I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « on: February 10, 2015, 04:38:46 pm »
This is a lost of the hell I’ve Bern enduring …. it’s not a complete lost but I’m sp acared to be 16 months pit and still suffering so grately. I don’t have all of these sx anymore …but enough to make me question my sanity and ability to endure every single
Melting brain
Burnjng brain
Burnjng acid body
Melting face
Objects moving
Body floating upward
Body Being pulled down
Severe body abd head pressure
Buzzing of body head
Terror in mind and body
Panick
Impending doom
Black hole depression
Paranoia
Severe dr/dp
Lsd trip
Everything looks black and white
Sounds traumatizing
Smells intense and traumatizing
Hearing robotic voices in head
Severe akathesia
Tinitus so loud it kept me awake
Body cramps abd aches
Hair feeling wet or growing
Icy hot on skin
Fiber glass on skin
Dreaming while awake (eyes closed)
Adrenal surges
Hearung voices in head
Hearing conversations between others inside head
Room breaking up into puzzle pieces
Internal vibrations
Ears full of fluid
Ears feel wet on the outside
Confusion
Rapid speech 2000 miles a minute
Pacing the floors
Agitation of the body to the point of biting self
Pulling hair out
Scratching face till it bled
Scared to shower
Scared to get off couch
Positive or negative thoughts bring terror through body
Body literally feels like toxins ate running through it
3am waking with terror and blood curdling depression
Scared of Shadows on my room
Sounds send terror through my body
Smells are too powerful and send signals of trauma through me
Don’t feel safe
Urge to hide in the closet
Sobbing uncontrollably and begging my mom to make it stop
Heart rate 200 when standing
Electric current through body thst is actually painful
Feels like a brick is sitting inside my head on my brain
Brain feels literally numb
Don’t have any feeling that my son is actually mine
Visions/flashes of me putting a gun to my head
Literally feel my brain short circuit
Feels like fire crackers shooting out of my brain
Brain zaps
Feel lethargic at times but body won’t rest
Irritability
Emotions too much
Soaking the bed in sweat like I took a shower in the bed
Severe anxiety and depression mixed together
Zero sleep …too revved up ..body amd mind
Inability to feel love or joy
Thought of sex makes, me cry
Mouth burning with tongue ice cold
Stinging all over body
Inability to eat
Then eat a ton
Hissing inside Brain
Hysteria
Jerking all over body
Low blood sugar feeling
Ptsd surrounding hospitals and my experience
Feel there is no way out
Inability to find peace
Inability to distract
The trauma is on my mind 24 7 and follows me to sleep when I can sleep
Stomach issues
Csn hear mysekf crying inside mysekf
Terrified abd rumination over bipolar and mental illness
Legs feel paralysed with terror
Can not see the future …don’t think I’m going to be here
Head feels to light at times
Breasts always feel odd
I feel like on a terrible lsd trip
People distorted
Desire to run n get help
Vione inside me while talking to people thst says they know ur mentally ill
Feels like a force wants me dead
Feels like the hulk is inside me and going to burst out abd kill everyone
Feels like a tiger is, eating my insides
Can not take naps… body and mind won’t allow it
Vaginal agitation
Fear of harming others mainly son
Complete fear of losing it completely/psychosis
Visual hallucinations
No connection to people
I know mike is my husband but it’s like a dream …
Broken sentences in head thst make no sense
Complete inability to feel calm peace or relaxation
Chills up body
Hot and cold flashes
Inability to regulate temp
Cant get words out
Feel the extreme need to pace
Complete restlessness
Night terrors
Flashes of my past causing terror
Stinging like fire ants eating me
Mind racing about the reaction no matter what im doing
Everything looks like a black and white horror movie
Agitation
Rage
Felt like the devil possessed me
metallic taste in mouth
Re: I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « Reply #1 on: February 10, 2015, 05:08:19 pm »
Guys I’m really scared
Re: I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « Reply #2 on: February 10, 2015, 05:28:15 pm »
Traumatized, you’re not alone on a lot of those symptoms.
Some of your symptoms I either have or had earlier including:
Melting face
Objects moving
Body floating upward
Body Being pulled down
Everything looks black and white
Sounds traumatizing
Smells intense and traumatizing
Hearing robotic voices in head
Hearing voices in head
Hearing conversations between others inside head
Room breaking up into puzzle pieces
Scared of Shadows on my room
For me, it’s a part of the depersonalization / derealization.
Do you feel safe? Is your husband with you?
It sounds like you’re getting slammed with both mental and physical withdrawal at the same time. That’s a lot to handle. Hope you’re feeling better soon. 
Re: I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « Reply #3 on: February 10, 2015, 05:36:50 pm »
Quote from: traumatized80 on February 10, 2015, 05:08:19 pm
Guys I’m really scared
I’m so sorry you’re still suffering like this, and my heart goes out to you. I too had many, if not most, of the symptoms you mention at one time or another. But, though it took a full two years, I finally healed. Have you had any improvement at all in any of your symptoms? Even a small improvement is a sign of healing. It can take some of us a long time to heal, but eventually we do heal.
Also, it would help you to get more support if you’d take the time to Create a Signature. This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.
[…]
Re: I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « Reply #4 on: February 10, 2015, 10:24:32 pm »
[…] I have seen improvement but when I get hit I get hit hard I mean full blown Think I csnt hold on one more second…anguish …dr/dp..burning acid ..extreme desperation ..crying hysterically …telling my husband I’m not going to make it…. panick and terror all night mixed with severe depression and electric jolts …. I can’t even put into works the torture …and at 17 months.
Re: I need to know I'm not alone and these are wd sx « Reply #5 on: February 10, 2015, 10:27:53 pm »
Well I’ve not had vaginal agitation, or LSD trip, but just about every other one of those things I’ve experienced in either small doses or tidal waves during my tolerance and taper.
Re: In The Process of Healing - TimeForAChange's Blog « Reply #4128 on: November 05, 2014, 05:00:51 am »
not too long ago i believed that my brain was being hijakced by Aliens or something like that — i couldn’t have my own thoughts and images kept coming up that were gruesome with gruesome thoughts to go with it. ask jenny that i am still sometimes say on my blog that “the doctor had to of put some kind of device into my brain” and i am a little further out than you from bad c/t/
i don’t doubt that lower energies can sometimes attach to us but my rational mind says that of course we have the power within ourselves to dispel those energies. it’s got to be the drugs and the mixed up chemicals that’s happening inside our brains right now that makes us think we’re possessed. but i have felt that too.it’s temporary since it’s healing. when i’m in window i never have the thought that the doctor in the detox put something inside my brain and i never have any other thoughts that there is something else wrong with me.
Time,
when i did a c/t in 2006 i felt just like you did. and although i was still on .5mg klonopin i literally couldn’t move for months until i reinstated. i just lay there in torment for months and months. it was so brutal. no one could handle that. i get what you’re going through.
Benzo's & opiates approx: 25 years! 1994, 1 seizure after c/t lg doses benzos & opiates. 1995-2002 clean, sober, benzo & opiate free 2002 dx MS-(not sure?-possible protracted w/d)--2002 went back on klonopin 8-20mg. opiates & soma 4/26/12 c/t 3mg.klonopin, 1750mg.soma,30mg.valium, 2mg.xanax 8/27/12-last rescue ativan--benzo & soma free kindling
Re: Angry « Reply #19 on: May 06, 2014, 02:24:32 pm »
BB’s,
There is so much on this thread that resonates with me. First the memories of the trauma that can bring on severe symtoms. I was on .5mg of K for 3 years and I reached tolerance, was experiencing lots of panic attacks, big one last Halloween while I was walking with my son to go trick or treating, ambulance had to come and get me the whole 9 yards. My son was so scared. He was bummed that mom had to get sick on the best night of the year, etc. I wanted out. I was so tired of being on this drug that was a misdiagnosed script to begin with! The doctor who prescribed it to me told me to just stop. No big deal, your on a low dose anyway….BOOM all hell broke lose, I went MAD – sent my son to school on the bus and overdosed. Woke up 15 hours later in the ER with my sister crying beside my side, rubbing my back, I didn’t know why I was there. It didn’t work!!!! The meds where screwing with my mind so bad I just wanted to die. I bit through the IV, blood all over my face, the bed, screaming at the nurses…I was of course sent to the phych ward for 2 weeks. My poor son scared to death, where is my mommy?????? 
His dad died the previous year…the docs experimented with me like a lab rat, this drug, that drug…it was pure hell. They kept chasing every ssri or something else with ativan to calm me down. I suggested just the ativan and nothing else…I became stable and when I was able to go home I was sick, depressed, crying all the time, shaking, every symtom we have all read about over and over. After the uptenth time visit to the hospital a nurse practitioner took one look at me and said you are on the wrong medication, we need to get you off. THANK GOD FOR HER. She is still helping with my taper…
Point to my story is when I think about that day I OD I cry, the years that have been stolen from my life, all the pain and suffering, my son. I lost the love of my life in this benzo w/d, he left me last week. He just can’t deal. He doesn’t know what part of this is the real me or the drugs…we didn’t have a lot time together before I started benzo. Some will say I’m better off and maybe…but I’ll never know if I was healthy how we could have been together because I can’t forgive him for leaving me when I needed him most. But I wouldn’t be this sick if it wasn’t for the benzos!!!!! Is this my cross to bare? Why me? Why you? Why all of us? Im so tired of telling my son, I can’t mommy is sick. Boy does he hear that a lot. I can’t wait to be able to do more with him. He sees me when I am well and we do so much together, I try to make up for lost time in those moments.
I’m sorry if I got off track. But benzo free. YES we are all heading in that direction. I can’t wait but know I have to be patient. I know that it will be hard years after I jump. I just got the common cold this week and THAT alone caused a seriously bad wave for days. very bad. just from a cold. SO SAD. Will I ever be normal again? What is normal? I was so healthy before benzos….it angers me so.
Cheers to us all for being strong, brave and riding the hellish wave together.
Love and healing to us all.
[…]
Re: Reversal of gray hair? « Reply #8 on: July 23, 2013, 05:56:20 am »
i have just a patch of gray where the injury in my brain seems to vibrate the most. i am determined to figure out how to reverse gray hair. i am looking into everything. i am grateful it’s only a patch that you can’t really see but i am so vain about it and i don’t feel like putting chemicals on my head anymore.
so far it’s a loss of copper and the body needs lots of copper for skin and pigment of hair. but not to have the brain have too much copper.
i also heard it was a hydroden peroxide issue and when we get to much hydrogen peroxide it bleaches the pigment. i also heard and read it was from the thyroid not functioning as it should so one needs to get that functioning better. but i bought lots of copper to spray into my hair and head and spray on my skin.
i had also read that the five tibetan rites help gray hair reverse. i will keep up my search, trials and tribulations. i would think that when the body it totally healthy, gut cleaned out, liver cleansed and purified, body has every mineral and antioxidant it needs and a mind that feels safe and relaxed–anything can be reversed.
