Ain’t no love in the heart of the city: Girlfriend dumps addict for man who isn’t tapering Klonopin for 1000 years

Dumped during taper
« on: April 10, 2019, 12:33:03 am »

[Buddie]

Just lost one of the key players in my support network. She said, “I can’t do this for another 6 months, year, however long it’ll be before you’re better. I love you, I want you to get better, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. But I just can’t do this anymore. I have to let go. I have to live my life”

This was 2 weeks ago. I tried to remain her friend, but she couldn’t help but rub her new relationship in my face. When I’d finally had enough and blocked her number, and on social media, she got pissy and finally left me alone. It’s strange how the ones we love the most can end up being the most toxic. Prior to this she would always be at my bedside. Checking in on me every day. Assuring me I’d get through this and that I’m strong for having made it this far.

I found myself up-dosing. I messed up. I let her hurt me even more. I’m trying to get back down to 0.5mg Klon per day, but the nights without her are much harder. Maybe I shouldn’t have been dating in this state. She tapered off klon a long time ago, I thought she’d be more understanding.

If anyone’s suffered a blow like this during taper, any advice would be appreciated.
(I know, “Try not to think about her, occupy your mind with other things.” I got that much, I’m trying.)

Addict blames Klonopin after ending up in rehab for opiates

A year of an opioid addiction followed by a year of a Klonopin prescription
« on: March 07, 2019, 10:21:14 am »

[Buddie]

It has not been a good 2 years. January 2017 I began abusing Oxycodone and other opioids. I knew I was heading down a dark tunnel but I didn’t care. I was severely depressed and it was the only thing that made me feel better. That didn’t last long. I spent about a month in rehab in November 2017 and got clean. From opiates, at least. When I got out of rehab my anxiety was so bad I ended up going to the emergency room and they gave me a shot of Valium and a bottle of 90 1mg Clonazepam and told me to take up to 3mg a day as needed. I quickly realized that was too high of a dose for me and ended up taking 1 to 1.5mg a day. I’m currently taking 2mg a day and I feel like my anxiety and depression have returned with a vengeance. I spend a majority of my time sleeping, smoking weed, and watching TV. I have no urge to hang out with any of my friends and have become a recluse. Everything feels like a chore, even eating. I’m 6 foot and 150 pounds. I’m in college and I can barely make it to class. Even when I go I feel like it’s pointless because I don’t remember anything. I feel like Clonazepam has ruined my memory. I used to be able to get all A’s and a few B’s in my classes without studying much. Now I study more than ever and I can barely remember the last page I read. While I was abusing opiates I definitely was not in a good state of mind and it completely fried my dopamine receptors but I feel like the effects Klonopin have had on my brain are even worse. I’m only 22 and feel like if I stay on this drug I’m gonna have Alzheimers by 30. I’m dedicated to tapering off but taking it slow. I just have a few questions I’d like to ask the community if anyone has some input. How long do the memory problems last? Do you notice your memory start to “come back” once getting off benzos? What are some tips to help improve benzo induced memory loss? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

– […]

Do you need to go blind in order to join Heather Ashton’s benzo cult?

Freaking out
« on: September 25, 2018, 08:15:49 pm »

[Buddie]

The side effects have gotten a little too much for me this week because they are hitting areas that are huge triggers – my eyesight. I’m an artist and design for a living. I’ve been able to work throughout this ordeal but now things are complicated because I have visual snow. I need to go for an eye exam to rule out actual eye damage, but eye exams are a huge stressor for me. I have fainted in my last two exams, and that was WITH Klonopin. What the heck do I do now? My fear is actually enough for me to want to skip out on the appointment completely which I know is stupid but I don’t want to faint. I don’t know what to do or how to cope right now. I cried hysterically earlier. The exam isn’t until Thursday morning.

Re: Freaking out
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2018, 10:22:35 pm »

[Buddie]

I cancelled my appointment. I can’t do it :(

Benzo Buddies failure: 33 months off and worse than ever

33 months off updates
« on: September 27, 2018, 12:29:48 am »

[Buddie]

Hi BB

TODAY I completed my 33 month off paxil cold turkey, still suffering hard
My symptoms
– anxiety
– depression
– mental fog and bad cognitive skills
– no emotions
– insomnia
– senstive to all stress situations even small things
– anger and hate
– irritation
– low self esteem
– vision and hearing issues
– neirve pain
– fatigue
– cant work out
– intrusive thoughts
– negative emotions
– fear

I thought I would be finished by now but it seems a long road to take, I cannot live my life as normal people do. I hope this ends soon.

Re: 33 months off updates
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2018, 01:16:39 am »

[Buddie]

Congrats on the milestone, although you probably don’t feel very celebratory.

Did you taper off of benzos too?