“I woke up in the loony bin”

I'm not religious but I now believe in hell.
« on: August 22, 2018, 12:42:43 am »

[Buddie]

Hello, I have been on 2mg of klonopin for almost two years. I have panic disorder and bipolar 1. I have been on countless meds over the years for my bipolar and nothing seems to help I keep finding myself in mania. I was prescribed klonopin for my panic disorder and major anxiety following a series of bad events that happened in 2016.
On July 31st in a manic episode, I (stupidly) went and got drunk, and found myself in a very dark place and long story short I tried to overdose on my klonopin. I woke up the next day in the Looney bin on a 72 hour hold where they wouldn’t give me any klonopins but didn’t have any problem giving me 1 mg ativan every 4 hours to treat early withdrawal. I am now on day 18 of a cold turkey and I can’t even describe the hell i am feeling.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2018, 01:29:27 am by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies orders terrified addict to ignore doctor, reject psychiatric medication

Hello, My Story
« on: August 17, 2018, 01:25:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi. I’m in a bad situation because I decided to smoke weed with friends about three months ago and only one hit threw me into a mood frenzy. I was an insomniac for a week after, non stop crying, paranoid, and panic attacks. So I managed to get 1mg Xanax from a friend which I used for about 14 days at night for sleep to reset my sleep. The last four days, I cut it to .5mg and then .25mg. I then stopped because I felt fine. However, I have been having up and down mood swings, palpitations that make me fear a heart attack, restlessness, shaking, paranoia, and what feels like chronic fatigue. I fear for my life like the weed may have cause tachycardia or mitral valve prolapse. Is this just from my underlying anxiety or the CT from the xanax? I got a shaky episode the other night and had to use one to stop the tremors and feel it was a bad idea. I see a psychiatrist Monday and I am terrified because I can’t tell the doctor about the weed or the xanax because the medicine was not prescribed to me and I could get in trouble. What do I do? I fear my life may never be the same again. I am weak and tremoring as I write this. What if I’m developing mental illness? The only option is for the psych to prescribe me benzos or ssris. I don’t want either.

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2018, 01:37:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello […],

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! I’m sorry you had such a severe effect from marijuana. Some strains can in fact increase anxiety, it appears you might have experienced this. Additionally, there might have been other substances in the marijuana that cause your reaction.

You took xanax for about two weeks. The recommended length of time for taking benzos is a maximum of two to three weeks, so you are right in that time frame. You are most likely feeling the effects from stopping xanax. There is likely to be withdrawal effects of some kind after two weeks of use. I do believe that these symptoms should ease up though, it may take a little while though.

If it were me, I would explain to the doctor what started your issues. If you don’t explain the cause, it is likely that the doctor will diagnose you with an anxiety disorder. If you didn’t have issues like this before using marijuana, then the effects you felt were due to the weed.

Your central nervous system took a hit with the marijuana and xanax. It may take a little while for things to settle, but they will. Try to distract from what you feel so that the fear doesn’t cause more issues.

I’ll give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about benzos and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. The manual does discuss tapering in detail but IMO, I would not suggest this for you. If it were me, I’d stay away from benzos and allow my body to recover.

I’ll also give you a link to the Post Withdrawal Recovery Board where you can post and receive feedback from members.

Your life will be the same, once your system recovers. I know this can be frightening, I felt the same way when I was directed to stop ativan for a medical test. I’m glad you’ve joined, you’ll find a lot of good information and support here. It’s going to be OK.

The Ashton Manual

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

[…]  :)

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2018, 06:29:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm
Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

You don’t have to take any medication if offered. It is your body and you can make the decision as to what to put in it. I didn’t even know what a benzo was when I was prescribed it. I had no idea about it’s potential for dependency or withdrawal. I learned a big lesson; be proactive about what I take and question everything.

It’s been my experience that ‘some’ doctors want to medicate everything when there are other alternatives.

[…] :smitten:

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2018, 07:04:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah. I also forgot to mention that three days before the weed incident, I CT’d beer completely and for the past year I was drinking three to four to five a day. Could that have something to do with what I am going through maybe?

Kooky cult researcher experiments on self, comes up with things-to-avoid list just in time for X-Mas

Things not to do and eat
« on: December 21, 2017, 01:55:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve done a lot of research into what acts on gaba receptors at the benzo level and even deliberately sent myself into a wave to prove some of them. When I cut all these things out I started to experience my first windows.

Not getting better? Here are things to avoid:

1. ALCOHOL. The absolute worst thing you can have. Like rubbing sandpaper on an open wound.

2. SUGAR. very small amounts of sugar are ok but sugar created so many horrendous waves for me and most others. Think you can get away with eating that tiny bit of ice cream. Think again!

3. Cocoa. Dark chocolate is so good but made me feel like crap. Also has caffeine, another no no.

4. Dairy. Dairy acts on gaba, not sure how but it made me worse. Most yogurt contains a lot of sugar anyways!

5. Quercetin, found in apples and citrus fruits.

6. Coffee and any caffeine.

7. Weight lifting. Your cns is temporarily destroyed and can’t recover from heavy stressors on your body. Light exercise is ok.

8. Stress. Any external stress outside of benzo hell should be avoided as much as possible. Be social and take your mind off it. I promise it will temporarily get you out of a wave if you’re having fun.

Benzo Buddies members can’t stop crying after torture of years-long tapers

Cannot Stop Crying......
« on: December 09, 2017, 08:58:05 pm »

[Buddie]

From the relentless nonstop torture utter despair and sorrow this has all caused me
The sorrow is so deep
Please make it stop

Re: Cannot Stop Crying......
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2017, 10:09:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve so been there. Sending hugs.

Re: Cannot Stop Crying......
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2017, 10:15:07 pm »

[Buddie]

Me too….. incredibly hard at times. ….and to make things worse my boyfriend basically gets upset with me and tells me to “get myeflf under control”. 🙁 Sending you comforting hugs.

Kooks diagnose each other with hernias after eating ice cream

Please help just woke up with this I'm scared
« on: December 07, 2017, 03:44:23 am »

[Buddie]

I just got woken up with this, my heart was betting kind of fast, both my hands felt like they fell asleep feeling, then I started feeling really strange I didn’t know what was going on I ran to bathroom I felt weird as hell like I was going to pass out felt very thirsty pain in my chest my stomach bloated right up and I could feel like every nerve in the muscle pulsating this was scary. I did eat some ice cream and had a pretty vigorous hike today hunting can someone help me?

Re: Please help just woke up with this I'm scared
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2017, 04:39:08 am »

[Buddie]

Hi, It’s the Ice cream that has bloated you and it sounds like maybe you have a Hiatus Hernia…withdrawal can cause them..the vagus nerve was Irritated by the bloat, hence the heartbeat hard and strange feeling..It will pass as the bloat goes down. the vagus nerve control’s all of this …heartbeat urinary tract ect. Tass.

Re: Please help just woke up with this I'm scared
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2017, 09:22:28 am »

[Buddie]

Please don’t diagnose people with hernias or anything else. It’s hell on one’s potential health anxiety and there’s zero actual evidence to prove that that is what is wrong with the other person, but I bet it makes them nervous.
All those symptoms sound like withdrawal. I’ve had every one of them and I’m 110% sure I don’t have a hernia.

Nhbuck, you probably just overdid it today. I bet you dollars to doughnuts that you’ll be feeling better in a day or two. Maybe go easy on the dairy and sugar for a few days and see if that helps. Maybe take a walk tomorrow instead of a hike. I think a little exercise is good, but I know I feel weird If I do too much. Apparently vigorous hunting is too much right now. I hope you feel better soon.

Brainwashed Benzo Buddies members sit in ER parking lots, terrified of being 5150’d if they go in

ER
« on: December 02, 2017, 07:09:53 pm »

[Buddie]

When do you know when to go to the ER?

Re: ER
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2017, 07:16:30 pm »

[Buddie]

I go if I can’t get my heart rate to slow down. I will tolerate it as long as possible but if it goes on and on I just can’t take it. They will usually give me a dose of a beta blocker through my IV but anymore I avoid ER at all cost I feel like they think I’m crazy. One night I went to the ER parking lot and sit there and just ended up coming back home.

Re: ER
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2017, 08:01:45 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks […]. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m dying!

Re: ER
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2017, 12:10:18 am »

[Buddie]

I’ve been to the ER 4 times in one year. Never been there before this.
My husband called the ambulance when he though I had a stroke. Tests where taken, the doctors said I had a TIA.
Then 3 times when my heart was crazy, felt like I had a heartattack. EKG, BP, blood tests showed nothing.

November 4 my husband called the ambulance again 😩 They got here took EKG, BP, listened to my heart and lungs.
Talked to me and my husband, I was in bed felt like I could not even move my head. Nothing wrong this time either.
Just w/d.
Very embarrassing. But I have always been treated good, nice staff.
Even if I showed up in pyjamas, crying.

Now I try not to go to the ER. I’m to embarrassed to go there again.

Bedbound, depressed and very anxious with panic attacks every day.

FEAR OF FRITOS

the frito failure
« on: November 23, 2017, 03:54:39 am »

[Buddie]

After being terrified of my favorite delicious snack for the last 9 months i decided it was time that i try to eat my fritos honey bbq twists once more. I was hoping that i would no longer be sensitive and was going to post a success story about how i ate the fritos with no ill effects.

i proceeded to become extremely drowsy fall asleep for 6 or so hours and have nightmares and woke up feeling all confused.

No success story for me :S

Re: the frito failure
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2017, 04:02:21 am »

[Buddie]

So sorry to hear that.

Re: the frito failure
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2017, 06:18:54 am »

[Buddie]

We don’t have those here in the UK but I looked them up and read the ingredients and they contain Monosodium Glutamate.

https://www.fritolay.com/snacks/product-page/fritos/fritos-flavor-twists-honey-bbq-flavored-corn-chips click the nutritional facts one.

MSG isn’t good for you even if you’re in good health, it’s a known to spike withdrawal symptoms too.

Avoid foods containing MSG, it’s also a common ingredient in Chinese food as well.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=67426.0

Re: the frito failure
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 07:34:27 pm »

[Buddie]

urgh sorry to hear about this, unreal how sensitive we are :(

the frito failure is catchy though….

i think ill call my experience the “coffee catastrophe”  …where a half cup of coffee kicked me into a massive wave, the effects of which im still feeling it seems like 2 months later