Cult women claim benzos cause them to grow moustaches

Facial hair loss
« on: June 28, 2020, 05:06:21 am »

[Buddie]

Any males experienced this? I first noticed it about a month ago and since then it’s fallen out and thinned our considerably with large patches with no hair.
I don’t know if this is Benzo related or not.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 05:48:13 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Facial hair loss
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 01:14:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m female and have lost hair on head but growing a moustache.

BENZO BELLY’S BACK!

Benzo belly
« on: June 25, 2020, 09:57:08 am »

[Buddie]

Hello ,
What are the best tips to manage benzo belly,
Should i eat more fiber from foods or propiotics are recommended? I know it differs for everyone but i would like to hear some tips.

Cult site Benzo Buddies is the home of untreated mental illness, this time it’s cibophobia (fear of food)

Food reactions
« on: June 16, 2020, 07:15:48 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi.
I am really sensitive to food and react to literally anything i eat. 20 minutes after eating a meal the DP/DR and high anxiety start to come up and can last for even a couple of hours. I got kind of used to this and never really tried to do anything about it as I have not been eating sugar/foods high in glutamic acid/anything processed/foods high in histamine etc. anyway and cutting out even more foods is just impossible at this point. Also, i am extremely extremely skinny so that’s also why i can’t limit the food im eating. So i have a question: Is it bad for my healing to just continue eating like i always did and react to it heavily? I wonder if it causes even more excitotoxicity and damage my brain even more than it already is…

Re: Food reactions
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2020, 07:35:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi amkn
Sugar is really bad for anybody’s brain, even not in wd.
It ramps me up to panic attack level now.

I’m super skinny too. Had lost sooo much weight. I can eat no sugar, gluten, caffeine, msg, processed food. But I’ve been able to put back 20 pounds by adding coconut oil, avocado, olive oil to my smoothies. I eat a lot of protein- nuts, eggs, peanut butter on a spoon. I have meat or fish with a potato for dinner. I found decent gluten free bagels at Aldi’s and Trader Joe’s. I slather them with real butter. I’ve recently been able to add dairy back into my diet, slowly, so cheese and milk is helping pack on the pounds.

Re: Food reactions
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2020, 07:51:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Good for you ligma that you can still eat nuts meat etc.

I’m on the same boat. Can’t eat anything contains glutamate on top of everything you listed so nuts meat etc have to go.

Amkn,
It depends on how bad the reaction is for you. If you feel like you can still handle then balance the 2 sounds good. For me, each tiny wrong food put me in a life threatening situation and long lasting setbacks so I have no option.

I’m 5’5 and weigh less than 90 pounds now. Lost about 15 pounds during and after tapering.

“feels light like air running thru my veins and body”

It feels like air running thru my body
« on: June 07, 2020, 08:20:20 am »

[Buddie]

My body feels light as a ballon and my inner electric feeling z’. This is too much. Now I just need to scream and hit my head with a hammer or bang it to a wall to stop this terror and torture. I hate this. Loud tschhhhh tschhhhh tinnutus in my whole head. It makes it feels so much worse bc of the toxic sound. just wanna share this hellish sxs anyone had that air feeling?

Kook wonders if getting dog medication on his skin will make him crazier

Will accidently getting dog medication on skin cause damage?
« on: May 27, 2020, 06:48:16 am »

[Buddie]

Was looking at the active ingredient of Frontline(isoprinil). It is used to treat fleas, lice, heartworm, mites, and who knows what else. Apparently it affects GABA receptors and that stuff has a half life of half a month.. Has anyone gotten that stuff on their skin? Were you alright?

Kooky Monday: Benzos cause canker sores under the tongue

Canker sores under my tongue
« on: May 24, 2020, 03:09:28 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve found that the only way I can ever get any tiny relief at all from my tiny dose of Clonazepam (and only sometimes) is to let it dissolve under my tongue. Whenever I do it for more than a few days in a row, I get cankers on the bottom of my tongue. Thought it was just coincidence at first, but it happens every time. Now I don’t even want to imagine what the stuff is doing to the inside of my stomach when I swallow it. No wonder so many of us are nauseous a lot, and no wonder I’ve had a sharp pain in my upper abdomen for months. I guess I’m just venting about how toxic this vile poison is.

Kooks terrified of balsamic vinegar

Lorazepam and balsamic vinegar
« on: May 16, 2020, 12:05:32 am »

[Buddie]

Hi this might be a dumb question but I try to stay away from any sort of alcohol because of my lorazepam use and being scared to mix it with any alcohol. Does anyone know if it’s ok
To eat? I’m getting confusing information if balsamic vinegar has any alcohol in it or not.

Addicted, not dependent

Just accept that you're an addict
« on: May 01, 2020, 10:17:11 am »

[Buddie]

Edit: I have made changes to this. There’s lots of good valid points on this website.

Throughout this withdrawal process, now that I’m 10 months in, I ask myself daily am I a drug addict or not? So these are the points that I told myself.

For starters, the non drug addict in me, the one that wants to not be labeled a drug addict, tells myself this. The doctor told me I had an anxiety condition at 17 years old and instructed me to take medication for it. So I took the medication as prescribed and sometimes even less. I didn’t like the way the medication felt, and I didn’t want to have to take anything but felt it was medically necessary. I actually went to detox against my doctor’s advice so that I can get off of them a couple years later. And I always had extras left over.

As for the drug addict in me, the one that my doctor’s and family and everybody is telling me that I am, it’s a different story. I had really bad anxiety so I wanted something that would make me feel calm right away, and only benzos did that. I would always go to a good doctor that was willing to prescribe large amounts because I needed large amounts.

When I went to the doctor, I would constantly say I have horrible anxiety even if it wasn’t that bad, I think I was being my own dramatic worst enemy. I always carry them around in a pill container, even after getting in trouble for it multiple times with the law. I took them everywhere I went. I thought about them all day long everyday because I knew they were in my pocket and if something got bad, I would take one. I didn’t take them more than prescribed, but I still took a lot.

Later on in life, living in Florida, they diagnosed me with essential tremor, so I no longer went to outpatient therapy or treatment. I just got my pills once every 6 months. So I had endless pills at home and I would make sure I refilled them early every month so that I would have extras. I would stockpile them and I would get happy that I had extras.

Later on, I was screwing around all day long in Colorado and smoking medical marijuana and taking my Valium, only to end up homeless. For the longest time, I thought it was everybody else’s fault. Looking back, it’s my life and I had the choice to take whatever I wanted but ended up on the street. And now I’m going through severe withdrawal.

If I had just taken them for a couple weeks like they suggested at the same time every day, and then quit without thinking about it and had really bad symptoms for a long time, I don’t think it would be an addiction problem.

So this is why I think I’m also a drug addict on top of having a physical dependency at this point, because when I look back at my life, it was really screwed up because of pills. Nobody forced me to take them. I knew that it was the pills messing things up but I couldn’t stop anyways. Yes it was because of the horrible withdrawal, but psychologically I needed help to do it.

There’s many people saying I’m not a drug addict because I took them as prescribed, well lots of people take things as prescribed and end up addicted. I think it’s just the bad reputation it gets and that’s why people don’t like to be called that.

So half of me wants to say yes I’m a drug addict and I take responsibility for it, but I still have that other side of me saying hey you didn’t do anything wrong it was prescribed and they told you to take it all day everyday for 20 years regardless of ending up on the street and in hospitals and jails and stuff like that.

And now that I’m 10 months out, I don’t really care if I’m a drug addict or not because it doesn’t change my situation or my symptoms or even the way that my doctor looks at me, because she thinks I’m a drug addict in the first place.

And then you have the fact where almost everybody thinks you’re a drug addict anyways, and if you argue with them, you just look stupid. Like it’s almost better just to say yeah I was addicted and I’m having a hard time and maybe they would help you out more.

However that can also go wrong, like with my family over the last couple months, when I was facing eviction, they were sitting there calling me a drug addict telling me I needed to go to recovery and I kept saying, I don’t have a problem, it was my choice to get off of them and they were prescribed. So they would tell me, I think you do have a problem and we’re not paying for a place to live because it’s your life and you’re a grown-up.

Now another thing to consider, I’m getting housing with Trillium the mental health company. And they are telling me recovery is possible from both mental health and substance abuse. So they’re not labeling me anything, they’re just saying you can recover from either. So basically we have mental health problems temporarily until we get better. It’s not meant to be permanent housing. So it doesn’t matter which category you’re in, they help you anyways.

Where the problem is, is with Social Security a few months back. They told me I was not entitled to disability benefits because I might have problems because of substances. That’s what the judge said, even though I was prescribed benzos for anxiety condition, he said he thought the medicine contributed to my problems. When clearly I already had the problems and that’s why I was taking the medication. That really pissed me off.

So there’s lots of things to consider, judges telling me I have substance abuse problem, family thinking I’m a drug addict, mostly everybody from the older generation saying I’m a drug addict. The newer generation says well it’s prescribed they can’t tell you that, almost like it’s a court case or something. So if you get really technical, things get really confusing.

But in my case, I’m pretty sure I had both physical dependency and an addiction problem. I mean if you’re sitting around counting your pills every month towards the end and thinking about them all day and how you feel all the time, and fearing running out again because you might end up homeless again, and always making sure the doctor prescribes as many as possible, you probably have an addiction problem.

I guess with benzos and prescribed opiates, if it’s prescribed, it’s one of those things you don’t want to admit that it’s addiction, and it’s not for everybody, but I don’t know anybody that doesn’t like them. So maybe people need to stop judging and it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Maybe they should just say if it’s prescribed it’s not a big deal.

The problem with prescribed or not, nurses in hospitals don’t care if it’s prescribed and whenever you go to a new doctor, they don’t care if it’s prescribed or not either. Each person is going to make their own judgment call.

And right now, I have my medical doctor saying it’s a brain injury but that I also have an addiction I’m recovering from, so it’s both. My pharmacist says well you probably were addicted but it was prescribed and you were taking it correctly so I kept feeling it. My family says well you were probably addicted but it was prescribed for 20 years for a reason, so it’s not a big deal. Everything is finally falling into place which is great.

But I will always look back at all of this and I will never forget the judge saying that the pills contributed to my mental health even though it was to help it, and I will never forget people judging me during a time when it was all about money and they were using addiction as an excuse not to help.

And throughout life, half of the people you talk to are going to say it’s a diction and half are going to say the doctors gave you a brain injury. So you might as well just accept whatever people think and go with it. What’s it going to hurt? Who cares, you don’t have to worry about doctors anymore. But I completely get it, it’s not good to be labeled a pill seeker and drug addict. I was even labeled a pill Seeker for asking for my propanolol at the State Hospital.

Was I seeking pills? Well technically, yes. I was asking for my prescription and they wrote it in my chart. Was it okay? No it wasn’t okay at all. They needed to give me my damn meds. Anyways, moving on, that’s my opinion at least.

I’m both a recovering prescription drug addict, as well as somebody that’s been damaged by doctors and Genentech, because it was their fault. That’s why they need to pay for all the damage they did.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2020, 02:51:39 pm by [Buddie] »