Dr. Jenn retires after being disabled by a wave: “I don’t want to be a leader… no more coaching ever!”

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2017, 06:41:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm
Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

jen,

i will pray for you. i will pray harder than i have for anyone yet. this can’t go on for long. god has to stop this and restore you your life.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2017, 07:16:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you. That’s very kind of you. I’m praying too, for all
Of us. Hopefully In another few weeks or months I’ll be back on my feet. Out in my garden. I’m working on a novel to distract me. Friends are cooking for me and taking care of me. God walked me through this once before. No reason to believe God will stop and let me walk the way to complete healing on my own.

Please know that we heal. If I didn’t believe this I wouldn’t have done the work I did all these years. I’ve seen clients get well. And I saw my own healing. I went from deranged after my cold turkey to functional. I even taught a class at Stanford. Had a bad wave from doing to much, then recovered from that. The last six months before this setback were the best in many many years. But, I guess I did too much. I’ve probably got a much more fragile CNS than most due to my years of trauma before Benzo’s. I over estimated my capacity for listening to others pain and suffering. It finally took its toll on me, along with The physical extertion I put myself under. You can avoid a setback if you take care of yourself. If you are an over achiever like myself, you’ll want to really watch yourself and slow down.

When I crawl out of this setback I’m dedicated to taking life easy. I don’t want to be a leader. I don’t want to be responsible for people’s lives in any way shape or form. No more coaching ever. I just want to write. Grow flowers. Be among friends and family. Hold my grandchildren. And appreciate every sunrise I’m given. This is my wild one and precious life, no matter how shattered it feels at the moment. It is mine.

Elderly mom forging Xanax prescriptions, obtaining endless supply illegally

Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« on: July 19, 2017, 01:21:44 am »

[Buddie]

About 2 years ago my mom’s whole personality changed. Her OCD symptoms got much worse, she says incredibly rude things she NEVER would’ve said before & her memory has gone down the toilet. Her routines & rituals are set in stone & she won’t deviate from them. She leaves the stove on 2x per month on average now. She started taking Xanax (1mg-2mg per week on average) around the same time her personality changed. The worst memory lapses–such as leaving the stove on & forgetting basic words–always happen the day after she takes her Xanax dose. She’s also excessively tired the day after taking Xanax. Worst of all, she denies any change in her personality & gets defensive even talking about it.

Could using Xanax one night per week be sufficient to affect someone’s mood, cognition & anxiety levels to this degree? She’s had a CT scan of her brain at my insistence to see if there was any sign of previous strokes or other issues, and it came back relatively normal. (Some age-related shrinkage & atherosclerosis). The doctor did not seem concerned about it, though it was an ear/nose/throat doctor rather than a neurologist. She’s 65 w/ no family history of Alzheimer’s but at moderate risk for stroke. She’s lost a good bit of vision & hearing due to age, so it’s hard to tell whether she’s doing things like leaving the stove on because of those impairments or something more sinister.

I’m not asking anyone to definitively diagnose her here; just wanted to see if anyone’s experienced this degree of side effects from low dose, once weekly benzo use. (Personally, if I took a benzo or barbiturate one time per week, that would be sufficient to cause rebound mood/anxiety problems but I don’t know how common that is). My mom absolutely refuses to go to doctors, so that’s out of the question. She swears up and down she doesn’t take Xanax more frequently than 1x per week, which I believe because she’s so regimented & afraid of drug addiction, but she could be taking it more often. I’m at a loss.

OCD runs in our family, as do other mental illnesses. I’m absolutely terrified it’s dementia, which would probably cause me to kill myself or be institutionalized because I could not handle that. Cancer is preferable to dementia. I’m praying it’s the Xanax at this point because the alternatives are so awful.

Thanks.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2017, 01:31:29 am »

[Buddie]

I am curious to why she takes one Xanax a week. It seems like she would be in perpetual withdrawal. Her symptoms could well be withdrawal symptoms. It certainly causes brain fog and forgetting things.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2017, 02:26:13 am »

Also, you might want to take into consideration paradoxical reactions:

Benzodiazepine Side Effects: http://www.benzo.org.uk/sidefx.htm

So-called “Paradoxical” Effects
According to Professor Malcolm Lader, 5% of those using benzodiazepines may be affected by so-called “paradoxical” reactions in response to the drugs rather than the desired tranquillising effects. Such reactions include increased aggressiveness (in some individuals even violent behaviour), depression (with or without suicidal thoughts or intentions), and sometimes personality changes.

Paradoxical” side effects occur in all age groups but are more likely to be found in children and in the elderly where they may be fairly frequent yet erroneously diagnosed as various psychiatric disorders. The risk of such reactions is generally greater with short-acting compounds but may occur with all benzodiazepine drugs. It is important to remember that the “paradoxical” reactions can also be encountered in short-term use and, in rare cases, even following the first ingestion of the drug.

Cognitive Side Effects
Memory functioning is markedly and measurably impaired, especially the ability to store acquired knowledge into long-term memory. This memory impairment is highly relevant to students. The risk of acute amnesia is more pronounced with short-acting drugs. Ativan (lorazepam), Halcion (triazolam), Xanax (alprazolam) and Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) are especially likely to induce such memory impairment.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2017, 03:00:09 am »

[Buddie]

Here’s some more info on this: http://w-bad.org/paradoxical/

I hope it’s the Xanax and your Mom might agree to stop taking it to test out whether this is the case.

Kind regards.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2017, 06:41:33 am »

[Buddie]

Thank you so much 

She’s very regimented due to OCD (which has gotten worse with age/Xanax use). She goes shopping one day per week, so the Xanax is to help her sleep the night before. I’ve seen her take it twice in a week when she had other things to do, so she may be taking it more often than 1x per week.

She has an endless supply obtained from…well, let’s just say this isn’t coming from a doctor. She’s had prescriptions for it in the past & even forged one prescription to have 4 refills instead of zero. So that tells me she’s got some kind of issue right there. But she could’ve just forged it because she hates going to the doctor. Either way, it’s a crime & she could’ve gone to jail for it. But back then she didn’t take Xanax as often as she does now.

I’m very familiar with rebound symptoms like anxiety & low mood, as I get them after a single use of barbiturates, benzos or Ambien. Thanks again for the links & quotes. That gives me some peace of mind. The part about short-acting benzos being even more likely to cause issues is especially comforting. I’ve tried explaining rebound effects to her before, but she doesn’t believe that can really happen even after SEEING what a single dose of benzos does to me the following day. She once became manic from a single dose of Valium too.

Ugh. This is all very frustrating since I now live with her. But if it’s “just” the benzos causing her insanity, that would be a good thing 

Benzos not to blame for singer’s death

Patients pushback on MA benzo bill (read comments section)

Safe and effective Ativan helps prevent suicides

Ativan (and its generic version, lorazepam) is an extremely common drug, prescribed to millions of people every year, says Asher Simon, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at The Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. And overall, he says, “it can be an incredibly effective and very safe medication.”

It’s in a class of drugs called benzodiazepines, which work by slowing down the central nervous system and enhancing certain chemicals in the brain to produce a calming effect. (Other well-known benzodiazepines include Valium and Xanax.) The drug is usually prescribed on a short-term basis for the treatment of anxiety, and is often helpful for people with depression.

“It lasts about four to six hours, and a lot of times it’s prescribed on an as-needed basis,” says Dr. Simon. “We might say, ‘Take one or two pills three times a day, as needed.’” The drug starts working right away, he says; that’s why they’re sometimes recommended for people who are anxious about flying on airplanes or visiting the dentist, for example.

Ativan might also be prescribed for short-term use alongside antidepressant medications. “A lot of times when someone comes in with anxiety and you start them on an antidepressant, their anxiety can get worse before it gets better,” says Dr. Simon. “So sometimes they need a couple weeks of an anti-anxiety medication to provide immediate relief, until the antidepressant kicks in.”

Because it’s a sedative, Ativan can make people dizzy and tired when they first start taking it. It can increase the risk of falls, especially in older people, and patients are warned about driving or operating heavy machinery until they know how the drug will affect them.

But Dr. Simon says that taking an extra Ativan or two would not cause slurring or serious impairment, especially for people who have been on the drug long-term and developed a tolerance to its sedating side effects. “Yes, of course you should never take more than prescribed,” he says. “But one or two additional pills is usually not a huge deal.”

Combining Ativan with alcohol or other drugs, is much more dangerous, he says—mostly because of the potential for impaired judgment and slowed breathing and heart rate. There’s less of a chance that Ativan would cause a non-suicidal person to take their own life, says Dr. Simon. “A lot of suicide comes at a time of acute anxiety, and if it treats the anxiety it can actually prevent those suicides,” he says. “It is extremely unlikely to cause suicidal thinking in and of itself.”

http://www.bostonherald.com/lifestyle/health/2017/05/chris_cornell_s_family_thinks_ativan_may_have_played_role_in_his_suicide

It’s okay to bash doctors at Benzo Buddies but not okay to point out members suffer from Munchausen

Re: proposed munchausian circle jerk emoji ?
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2017, 02:04:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 10, 2017, 06:39:01 am
I joined on to this forum 2 days ago during what appeared to me, to be a protracted w/d issue.
I found comfort in many of the heart felt dialogues.
However,
It has occurred to me, for some, it may be a munchausian circle jerk.

I sincerely hope that is not the case, as it would seriously muddy the waters for people truly seeking specific help.
If it is, I propose the construction of a new emoji to express this case so that this concept can self regulate.

I hope I don’t get banned for saying so.

Hello,

I know you’re new here, but there are some things about this forum it’s important for you to understand.  This is a very serious forum and it’s not a free for all. We have Rules and Guidelines here which we take seriously.  You agreed to abide by them when you joined, and one of the simplest but most important ones is:

Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling, will be banned.

We expect members to behave like adults, and not pass judgments on others or start arguments.  If someone else’s post bothers you, please just move on.  We take a very dim view of provocateurs here.  Many members are highly sensitive during withdrawal, hyper-sensitivity is itself a withdrawal symptom, and even something as simple as a “humorous” emoji may be considered offensive by some.  Here is a link to the rest of our

Rules & Guidelines

Benzo Buddies members suffer from Munchausen by Internet

Munchausen by Internet

Munchausen by Internet is a pattern of behavior akin to the Munchausen syndrome (a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves) in which Internet users seek attention by feigning illnesses in online venues such as chat rooms, message boards, and Internet Relay Chat (IRC). It has been described in medical literature as a manifestation of factitious disorderor factitious disorder by proxy.[1] Reports of users who deceive Internet forum participants by portraying themselves as gravely ill or as victims of violence first appeared in the 1990s due to the relative newness of Internet communications. The pattern was identified in 1998 by psychiatrist Marc Feldman, who created the term “Münchausen by Internet” in 2000.

People who demonstrate factitious disorders often claim to have physical ailments or be recovering from the consequences of stalking, victimization, harassment, and sexual abuse. Several behaviors present themselves to suggest factors beyond genuine problems. After studying 21 cases of deception, Feldman listed the following common behavior patterns in people who exhibited Munchausen by Internet:

  • Medical literature from websites or textbooks is often duplicated or discussed in great detail.
  • The length and severity of purported physical ailments conflicts with user behavior. Feldman uses the example of someone posting in considerable detail about being in septic shock, when such a possibility is extremely unlikely.
  • Symptoms of ailments may be exaggerated as they correspond to a user’s misunderstanding of the nature of an illness.
  • Grave situations and increasingly critical prognoses are interspersed with “miraculous” recoveries.
  • A user’s posts eventually reveal contradictory information or claims that are implausible: for example, other users of a forum may find that a user has been divulging contradictory information about occurrence or length of hospital visits.
  • When attention and sympathy decreases to focus on other members of the group, a user may announce that other dire events have transpired, including the illness or death of a close family member.
  • When faced with insufficient expressions of attention or sympathy, a forum member claims this as a cause that symptoms worsen or do not improve.
  • A user resists contact beyond the Internet, by telephone or personal visit, often claiming bizarre reasons for not being able to accept such contact.
  • Further emergencies are described with inappropriate happiness, designed to garner immediate reactions.
  • The posts of other forum members exhibit identical writing styles, spelling errors, and language idiosyncrasies, suggesting that the user has created fictitious identities to move the conversation in their direction.[1]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_by_Internet

proposed munchausian circle jerk emoji ?
« on: May 10, 2017, 06:39:01 am »

[Buddie]

I joined on to this forum 2 days ago during what appeared to me, to be a protracted w/d issue.
I found comfort in many of the heart felt dialogues.
However,
It has occurred to me, for some, it may be a munchausian circle jerk.

I sincerely hope that is not the case, as it would seriously muddy the waters for people truly seeking specific help.
If it is, I propose the construction of a new emoji to express this case so that this concept can self regulate.

I hope I don’t get banned for saying so.