The Beginning of My Third Year Tapering « on: April 05, 2019, 12:24:23 am »
April 2017, I started tapering 2 mgs of Xanax, my stomach was killing me, had all the tests, all came back showing nothing, lucky enough my husband found an article discussing benzos and stomach pain and it all fell together. I immediately cut way too much, having no knowledge of what I was doing, but I was lucky in that the next day I started researching. I didn’t find the Ashton Manual or BB then , just enough information to go back up immediately, the word stroke scaring me to death. Started back down, still way too fast, withdrawals really bad. Anxiety off the roof, shaky, heart palpitations, muscle pain, and many others. Mostly in terrible shape. In October, after lowering about .05 xanax found Ashton Manual, got my pain Dr to help and managed to come down another.25 for a total of.75 Xanax. Horrible withdrawals, found BB, thank goodness, and decided to crossover to Valium, which also turned into a nightmare, my body just hated it, sedated, sick, had crossover too fast, having xanax withdrawals also. It was awful. I made many more mistakes during the next year, this is so hard, not the same rules for anyone. My main symptom through all of this has been bad muscle pain, still is. I am writing this for the people who are around a year into this and think they can’t go on, you can. I am down to 10.56 Valium from 40 mg . I am now doing a daily liquid micro taper, much easier than cut and hold for me, and just had a three week window, I had never had one. So if I can make all the mistakes I did and be as miserable as I have been, know you can keep on. Keep reading all over BB to find the way for you, ask questions, learn, get advice……my best advice, taper slowly, so many of us have run into so many walls wanting to speed this process up, all the heartache, pain and time we would have saved , if we had just slowed down. Ashton is a fast taper for most of us, it’s a good taper but cut that % down or stretch the time frame out. You will be glad you did. I was on Xanax for 3 years, never dreamed this could happen, am sure you didn’t either. I hope this helps someone, I am not a great writer like so many on here, but I wanted to share, you are not alone in your mistakes, not anything wrong you have done has not been done before and those people still healed. Good luck everyone, you CAN do this too, it won’t be easy and it is going to take a while. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 […]….read the success stories, they help!
A year of an opioid addiction followed by a year of a Klonopin prescription « on: March 07, 2019, 10:21:14 am »
It has not been a good 2 years. January 2017 I began abusing Oxycodone and other opioids. I knew I was heading down a dark tunnel but I didn’t care. I was severely depressed and it was the only thing that made me feel better. That didn’t last long. I spent about a month in rehab in November 2017 and got clean. From opiates, at least. When I got out of rehab my anxiety was so bad I ended up going to the emergency room and they gave me a shot of Valium and a bottle of 90 1mg Clonazepam and told me to take up to 3mg a day as needed. I quickly realized that was too high of a dose for me and ended up taking 1 to 1.5mg a day. I’m currently taking 2mg a day and I feel like my anxiety and depression have returned with a vengeance. I spend a majority of my time sleeping, smoking weed, and watching TV. I have no urge to hang out with any of my friends and have become a recluse. Everything feels like a chore, even eating. I’m 6 foot and 150 pounds. I’m in college and I can barely make it to class. Even when I go I feel like it’s pointless because I don’t remember anything. I feel like Clonazepam has ruined my memory. I used to be able to get all A’s and a few B’s in my classes without studying much. Now I study more than ever and I can barely remember the last page I read. While I was abusing opiates I definitely was not in a good state of mind and it completely fried my dopamine receptors but I feel like the effects Klonopin have had on my brain are even worse. I’m only 22 and feel like if I stay on this drug I’m gonna have Alzheimers by 30. I’m dedicated to tapering off but taking it slow. I just have a few questions I’d like to ask the community if anyone has some input. How long do the memory problems last? Do you notice your memory start to “come back” once getting off benzos? What are some tips to help improve benzo induced memory loss? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
5 year plan « on: January 12, 2019, 03:14:11 am »
Since I am not looking to take this fast at all because I want to take it slowly is it absurd to want to take 2 to 3 years to be totally off my klonopin. I take 3 mg a day and have been for about 14 years. I guess I am looking at this differently then a lot of people. Since I don’t want to suffer major withdrawals I probably am going to set a goal to be at 2mg of klonopin a day within the next 365 days. Then after that I will work on trying to get to 1mg a day maybe in year two. I have been on this garbage for 14 years so what’s 2 years of dropping 2mg. I know that isn’t a lot at alll but hopefully my doctor will work with me and understand. Does anybody else out there have an approach like this or am I just a newbie that will probably change my mind. I just don’t want to suffer any withdrawal and if I just go with what my body tells me and don’t set a end date then I believe my success rate will be better
Re: 5 year plan « Reply #1 on: January 12, 2019, 02:54:39 pm »
I see nothing wrong with your approach. Dates and time lines need to be thrown out the window, along with % based tapers.
It takes as long as it takes. With the right taper method, and as long as one tapers based on symptoms, the process doesn’t have to be harrowing, rather manageable.
please help me - paradoxical? « on: December 13, 2018, 03:39:59 am »
I know I’ve reached out to a lot of you and it seems I almost have an allergy to this class of meds. I was only on klonipin for 2.5 weeks in May during some neuro testing for numbness, tingling and spasms. Tests for MRI and EMG came back ok. I then wanted to stop the klonipin because I felt flat and irritable and was only sleeping until 7:30. I was told to cold turkey per my doctor and had a panic attack and burning. My doc then immediately moved me to Ativan starting at 1 mg and then moving up to 1.5 and 1.75 for one night. I weaned down to 1 mg and held for a month but had horrible inter-dose withdrawal. I was dropping 25% a week and got violently ill (vomiting, light sensitivity, brain pressure) then moved me to Valium (direct cross over which really hurt my gut). Landing at 12.5 mg and I thought i stabilized. I’ve been hospitalized for hyponatremia for three days and have had an insane amount of symptoms which shook my CNS. They also gave me generic Valium pills in the hospital and generic liquid. I know all the info above sounds idiotic, but I kept telling my doctor something was wrong and asking for multiple opinions with no help. With Valium I started a cut and hold at first then liquid and had to ipdose from 8.5 to 9 Bc of hyponatremia. I’m now trying a .001 microtaper pills after trying to stabilize on 9 mg for a month. I’m still not stable and have almost electricity coming off me and a charge in my tongue and throat. I know I’ve had so many changes in a short amount of time, but I don’t feel like I can survive this even dropping .001. I have insomnia as well and have lost 50 lbs since May with muscle wasting. I know I seem like the crazy one on the forum, but I had a great job and life before this and I’m at a loss of how to move through it. Every single day I get worse. I’m wondering since I never had a proper crossover would it be an option to cross over to Librium and hold for a long time? Any advice would be appreciated. I was holding at 9 mg and still felt pretty terrible. I wish I had known about the Ashton manual before all of this. I’m currently holding. It also burns when I take the Valium.
Sxs that come and go
1. electric feeling – mouth, throat, genitals
3. head pressure
4. metalic taste and smell
5. rapid aging
8. burning in extremities
13. hair loss
15. veins popping
16. GI issues
18. massive weight loss
19. muscle wasting
20. tongue spasms
21. electricity feeling off my face – this is because the hyponatremia rocked my CNS
24. foot jerks
26. acid reflux
27. benzo belly
28. tooth pain and inflamed gums
Re: please help me - paradoxical? « Reply #1 on: December 13, 2018, 12:21:36 pm »
Re: Does Everybody Truly Heal? ***MAY BE TRIGGERING*** « Reply #160 on: November 18, 2018, 11:24:23 pm »
Quote from: [Buddie] on November 18, 2018, 09:14:24 pm
I had no desire for a cup of morning coffee in early withdrawal as my system was already overstimulated. Extreme physiological panic and seizures particularly wipe out any desire for coffee. When things calmed down and I felt better, I went back to living dangerously with my cup of joe. So far, so good. If a wave hits, I can’t disprove the coffee theory, but then again, can anyone prove my cup of joe was the culprit? Theories and speculations and proven facts are just different things is all.
Edit: Extreme physiological panic and seizures particularly wiped out any desire for coffee for me. Edited because I suppose I should speak for myself, but I cannot imagine others desiring coffee during such.
Losing my mind « on: October 03, 2018, 06:27:07 pm »
I had been doing pretty well micro tapering klonopin. This morning I woke up and I just feel like I’m losing my mind. Like I’ve been sick too long and I’m just totally mentally ill. My thoughts don’t feel right. The world doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right in it. I don’t know why. I have always had anxiety and probably never thought totally normal but the way I’ve felt today and the last few months I’ve never felt like this. I’ve only micro cut like a total weight of .205 to .195 over the last 10 days or so. I feel so scared.
Re: Losing my mind « Reply #1 on: October 03, 2018, 08:15:56 pm »
I started tapering off Klonopin too a month ago I feel the same, I don’t feel like me anymore
Re: Losing my mind « Reply #2 on: October 04, 2018, 01:04:12 am »
It’s been a pretty awful day. I just can’t get my head right. Feel so much fear today and disconnected from the world as I knew it. I’m tapering slow I thought. How much are you tapering from ?