“Dear Friends, Six years ago, while camping out, I got a tick bite that immediately got a bulls eye rash and flu like symptom came on that night. I new nothing about lyme disease then and did not get tested. A couple of months later, I was feeling tired and getting some arthritis , so I went and got tested. I tested positive for lyme and the doc gave me antibiotics, but my liver had hepatitis c at the point, and I could not tolerate antibiotics. I got the hep c cured, but right after that came down with full blown lyme disease.
“I have struggled mightily against this disease for six years , and , even though , the first two years, I was almost non functional, I studied and learned how to use herbal protocols, which helped quite a bit over time. I even make my own herb tinctures, because I have little money. I had not been able to work for a long time and was out of money, and did a fund raiser here, which kept me in my house and allowed me to make down payment for a Prius so I could drive part time for Uber in the Bay Area. I did this almost two years ago, and have been able to work for Uber and make my bills. But it has been very hard to work with lyme, due to the crushing chronic fatigue.
“Now, in the past few months. the bacteria are affecting my heart and lungs. I have had bronchitis for ten months and was getting chest pains and saw a cardiologist. He said I have a heart problem and should take prescription drugs. i am taking herbs instead. But the problem is that lyme, when it infects the heart , will ruin it over time and cause heart failure. So I need to actually cure the lyme now, or not live a lot longer. And it is getting harder and harder to work now. However, I have discovered a new natural treatment that works very well on lyme . It is called “ten pass ozone therapy” and there is a natural medicine clinic two hours away in marin county that uses it for lyme . People are getting well from chronic lyme in 3 months or less on this. The problem is that the treatments are super expensive, $700 a treatment, and I will need at least 10 of them over a period of 3 months. The doctor visits are expensive , too. So I am trying to raise $10, 000 to finally get well from lyme, and literally save my life. I need to get into the clinic as soon as possible and start treatment. I appreciate any kind of help on this, any donations. Thank you very much!!”
Flick was a rather colorful member of benzowithdrawal.com and benzobuddies.org (he would lated be banned). As readers can see, from his cannabis-fueled ramblings below, Flick was crazy, and deeply involved in cults, long before he ever took a benzo, or heard of Ashton…
Nice post NC it’s good to feel that connection with Spirit, wherever it comes from. Personally maybe I will get into a bit of “head” stuff here myself, since I am a man after all. I find it interesting that the three biggest teachers in my life of spirituality died in the past year. Maharishi, Sri Chinmoy, and Adi Da. I learned the TM thing when I was 22 and strung out on hard drugs and could not quit them. The TM worked for me. I did it for years. Now there is a lot of controversy around Maharishi too, like maybe he approache Mia Farrow sexually, but that has pretty much been debunked now. Certainly there has been a kind of “cult” grown up around him and the “yogic flying” seems pretty silly. Still TM saved my life and Maharishi and his teachings have been very beneficial to many. I can’t find fault with his ideal of “world peace” through the vehicle of many people meditating. Now it is is easy for the doubt mind to debunk anything “spiritual” and always throw out the baby with the bath water.
When I was a young ballet dancer in New York, I went to an intro with Sri Chinmoy and this was my first experience of a transmission guru. I felt an intense descending light and bliss in his personal company and also meditatiing on his photo. I became a disciple and wore all white and tried to be celibate and hung out with Carlos Santana and John McGlauphlin who were also disciples. Now I could not handle the sort of strictness with that guru and the two musicians also left in their own time, but that does not devalue Sri Chinmoy or his group in any way. he was very respected in the United Nations did some cool yogic tricks with lifting weights and so forth. His transmission was very real and quite blissful also. Also is was pretty cultic around him , as it always is around a charismatic transmission guru. people like to feel blissful.
I came across Adi Da in 1975 in New York when I heard “Garbage and the Goddess” on WBAI radio “IN the Spirit” by lex Hixon. I had a bad flu and was so moved by Da’s laughter, that I had a sudden and spontaneous lifting of the flu. I read the KOL and saw a “A diffiicult Man” and went to California to join the community. This was the only time I have every felt actual transmission from a book. I felt it in all of Adi Da’s books. For most people, including myself, a relationship with Adi Da is a mixed bag. I felt incredible light and clear and conscious bliss and also states of non separation or “non duality” around him just like he always described in his books. There was always a hard edge to being a disciple of his though. And a certain sort of “darkness” , but I would not necessarily say it is the community’s darkness or Adi Da’s darkness. We all have our dark side and I tend toward depression and fear myself. This is a pretty weird life. Of course Adi Da was not your usual teacher or guru. I know people who were around him in the inner stuff and some feel bad about it and others feel just fine. I never was around the inner stuff and only got the “trickle down” Some people say they were hurt. I don’t know any of them personally except for a couple ahnd they are both still very angry. So everyone who was ever with Adi Da is still trying to figure the whole thing out. many play the “gotcha” game and he is easy to play this game with because of his controversial activities. I think it is a good thing to call out abuses in any arena , whether it be political or spiritual. I would say that George Bush has dwarfed any guru in history with his abuse of the whole world . So is goes round and round and we always feel abused by life itself. But Adi Da has passed now, and people are still so angry that they are beating a dead corpse. Wow I would check out this anger thing.
I am pretty versed in the Traditions since I have studied extensively in Buddhism and under Tibetan lamas and also zen and vipassana. These are real practicing schools. I have never been much attracted to the Ramana lineage myself , partially because it can be pretty mental and I have seen the circus that Poonjaji created by creating all these mini gurus like Andrew Cohen and Gangaji, both of which I have seen and I feel to be real “talking school” so to speak, Just my opinion and preference,
But many love Ramana Maharshi and also Sri Nisardagatta and I respect that for their practice with their teachings. There is certainly and incredible radiance coming off the photos of Ramana and this is not to be discounted. I feel that your really can tell something about a teacher by their photo. This is an intuitive matter and not a mental one.
I have also spent quite a bit of tiime around Ammachi , the hugging saint, and there is a very strong transmission with her too. Of course, many people debunk her too. And certainly it is somewhat “cultic” around her. So what .
I gave lots of money to Adi Dam and to Adi Da personally although it was all underground. I am pretty broke now , but i do not regret it . I felt good about it at the time and felt like i was doing some good with my money rather than hoarding something that never really belongs to you to start with. Generosity is a founding principle of Buddhism. Money comes and goes, and we are closer to death every moment, Flick Rahke
new member post « on: October 04, 2011, 01:26:47 AM »
Hi folks, my name is jetstream, which says it all. I am cruising high and happy in the clouds these days. I did a 2.5 year taper off of 1.25 mg of klon, which I had been on for two years. I switched to 25 mg of valium and did a slow slow taper, which I managed very well in spite of various sx. I switched to liquid valium at 10mg and did a daily titration from there, which did make it quite a lot easier.
I have been off for three years as of Thanksgiving and am grateful very much. I still have a dash of dp/dr, which may resolve in more time and a tad of peripheral neuropathy in my fingers and toes. that is about it. not bad, eh? sure it takes time to taper and heal, but well worth the effort and a forum such as this is invaluable in the process. I hope I can contribute some positive input here . In my journey I have learned many valuable things. I no longer have anxiety disorder or panic attacks for a long time now. I am no longer depressed at all, and if fact am feeling very happy with life. and believe me, I went through my own private hell for years. hang in there Buddies. peace to you Jetstream
Re: Flickster Blog « Reply #122 on: September 11, 2007, 11:21:49 PM »
Hi anyone out there in benzoland Good morning Vietnam You know that movie don’t you? Well that was my war.
yeah when I was 18 I got my papers from the U.S military to report to the induction center for my draft physical and induction into the army to go to Vietnam to fight.
for heaven’s sake I was a hippie.
and I don’t like the idea of killing people I don’t know or being killed by them either.
I wrote on my forms that i was a member of every evil organization you could be part of including the communist party and even the Black Panthers and i am white.
I stayed up on LSD for 2 days before I went also so they would think I was crazy and flunk me on that score.
the really funny thing is that they did not flunk me on any of that stuff. I had a letter from my doctor that one third of my kidney was gone from a previous gunshot wound and that was all I needed. i did not have to go through all the rigamarole and lies . i was automatically disquaified. I could not have joined the service if I wanted.
the guy in front of me in line was very patriotic and trying to join the marines. They actually flunked him for having very flat feet. He was a big matcho guy and was weeping like a child when they flunked him. i was behind him and jumping for joy and shouting hooray when they flunked me.
i think he wanted to punch me out.
A lot of my friends came back from Vietnam junkies and in a lot of post traumatic stress.
Of course, they did not have to pull my arm to hang out with them and do heroin with them.
that’s how I got hep c.
Re: Be careful what you say! « Reply #19 on: Today at 10:41:47 AM »
Unless you are now 80 years old and have lung cancer or emphysema, smoking will probably not kill you anytime soon, I would worry first about stabilzing, getting off benzos and getting your health together the best you can and then doing what you need to do to get off cigs. they are very hard to come off of. don’t feel bad about it. you need all your wits about you for that ,and being on benzos takes your wits away. Uncle Flicky
and do not tell anyone outside here that you have suicidal thoughts LOL they will lock you up for even mentioning it. I used to have a lot of suicidal thoughts and I only talked about them on this forum LOL I never got locked up for that either
Re: Be careful what you say! « Reply #20 on: Today at 10:52:24 AM »
You’re not my uncle. But thanks. I’ll throw them away one way or another.It’s probably not so much my lungs (they check out ok with an MRI). The pancreas is more my worry.
Re: Be careful what you say! « Reply #21 on: Today at 10:57:12 AM »
Quote from: Smoke on Today at 10:52:24 AM
You’re not my uncle. But thanks. I’ll throw them away one way or another. It’s probably not so much my lungs (they check out ok with an MRI). The pancreas is more my worry.
Hey Smokey, don’t be so touchy about it. My name on the forum is “Uncle Flicky da water walker” that name is not “personal ” to you. I use it with everyone , even on facebook now LOL it is a fun name for me and not a toxic one at all, but a humorous one. you want a “toxic” name? Ask “texwatson” about that.
And , yes , pancreas can be a worry. After all, my buddy Patrick Swayze’s one bad habit was heavy cig smoking and he got pancreatic cancer and died young. but still, you can only do the best you can do with yur health, quit the cigs when you can and try to relax about it all the best you can Uncle Flicky
Re: Be careful what you say! « Reply #22 on: Today at 11:03:32 AM »
DUH Flick. Mom dropped me on my head a lot but I did manage to retain my sense of humor. And I have been on the forum for a long time so I do know who you are.Um,, who’s texwatson? Does he post much? Are his posts lengthy, helpful and informative?
Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « on: May 19, 2013, 04:34:19 pm »
I posted earlier about how I have reached bedrock as far as my nostrils go. Going on 6 months and I dont ever think I will regain anyutyp of lining in my nose. And the roof of my mouth is raw also.
Re: Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « Reply #1 on: May 19, 2013, 04:49:47 pm »
Ive been complaining about something like this for weeks. When I breathe in, the air feels too cold and sort of raw. And Ive had a runny nose for 9 monthes. (Watery, harmless but annoying.) The inside of my mouth feels raw and burns, even my throat and my gums itch and burn. Sometimes my teeth feel sort of metallic.
Is this anything like what you are feeling?
Re: Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « Reply #2 on: May 19, 2013, 05:36:15 pm »
Yep. My mouth has cycled through many changes from one end of the spectrum to the other. After c/t I had burning mouth as if I had a few habrenero peppers. My teeth feel like they contain a electrical charge. I tap them together and they feel hollow but echo in my skull. My biggest problem is my nostrils. I had a cold last week and for the first time in many months I had some color blow out. But i have pardon the pun but I have picked up a nose picking issue. This watery stuff summons me to constantly go after it. My finger has been in there way to long and so when i say I hit bedrock I mean I down to bone. And these intense violent sneeze attacks.
Re: Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « Reply #3 on: May 19, 2013, 05:47:10 pm »
I couldnt help it…I laughed when I read this. A nose picking habit! A friend and I have an ongoing joke about this as we both admitted to secret nose picking.
I live with a box of tissues in every room.
Unfortunately I lost a few teeth after my cold turkey…old crowns, mostly, one large filling (where food always gets stuck! Yeek!) and I broke one tooth. I know dentures are in my future but hell, I cant afford a dentist, even.
Could you possibly have allergies???
Re: Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « Reply #4 on: May 19, 2013, 05:59:37 pm »
My entire life its been nuts and cats. No offense I know you have several cats. I cant single cats out, I am allergic to many breeds of dogs. But yes I have developed allergies. I started to get more concerned when I started to itch after i ate. It was Greek yogurt which I have never had befog9re. A member replied check your liver. Well I cant pop the hood and take a look so I did a follow up on some other blood work. Enzymes are in range and so are kidneys but that is not a real check. All of my intense reactions to smells and chemical sensitivity and also new allergies just adds to the pile of liver problems namely cirrhosis. I went on another forum and read those with end stage cirrhosis and all complained of weakness and debilitating fatigue which I no longer have. I can work 10 hours and the fatigue has been gone for about 2 months. My liver pain persists so I just live and eat as if I did have a serious problem. If I turn yellow I am going in and say look now doc, what do you think.
Re: Anyone dealing with terrible nose problems?? « Reply #5 on: May 19, 2013, 06:47:33 pm »
My sinuses feel like I have cement stuck on the walls of my cartilage. And everytime I sneeze it jolts my whole head and makes my whole body ache. It’s like when you have the flu. I also find myself digging for treasure constantly throughout the day. I’m obsessed with trying to clear it out that I have run dry of mucus in my nose. And to top it off it feels like the sinus muscles are swollen and adds to my list of breathing issues.