Brainwashed Benzo Buddies members trained to hide symptoms from family, embrace cult family

Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« on: September 14, 2018, 10:34:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I am really suffering terribly last months, but don’t speak about my symptoms anymore with family and friends. After so long I don’t want to bother them. I get the question “how are” you several times a week and actually the answer in my head is always bad, because that is what it is. The only reason why I am posting so much is because I need to share my thoughts somewhere. Sometimes with response which I appreciate. I am feeling so hopeless and the only thing I think; what if I don’t wake up tommorow? I am fine, wow the fact that these thoughts are going through my mind is something I could not imagine. I used to be the opposite always positive and happy, but don’t see light at the end of the tunnel right now. The fact that 18 months came and went by with 0 improvement is so depressing. Sorry for my negative post.

For all the (long) term sufferers how do you stay positive and what do you do to distract your mind on the worst days? How do you handle your emotions?

Some positive words are appreciated.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2018, 10:47:23 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2018, 10:42:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I can really appreciate your words. I too am trying so hard to keep how I actually feel to myself . I still breakdown with my husband on occasion . I cry most days and just wish the day away. I was always the happy person at the all the events now getting up is a struggle . I feel like I am falling farther and farther away . I am sorry I do not have any encouraging words but wanted you to know how much I understand . Sending you a gentle virtual hug as it is all I have right now

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2018, 11:00:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks […], too tired and sick to help others right now. So understand your comment.

A bug hug for you too!!

Re: Hiding your actual feeling for family and friends. Feeling so bad!!!!
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2018, 11:23:41 pm »

[Buddie]

We have each other. We can lean on each other. Cry on each other, and no explanation needed. You Don’t have to exert the energy of faking how you are feeling. We know it’s hard. You are significant and only human. There is no judgement here. No one goes to battle and is happy, rested, feeling and looking their best. Just know that your brothers and sisters in this battle understand, support and validate your journey.

[…]

Benzo Buddies forces abused member to choose between cult and family

Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:16:29 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m the caregiver for my elderly parents. Today they said they’ve had enough of my debilitating symptoms and that I’m choosing to be this way. That I need to see a psychiatrist because they can’t take it anymore. It’s been 2 yrs. and NOTHING is better. Which is true. I don’t know what to do. This is destroying my family. I have no siblings. I tried to explain.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2018, 09:50:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I can so relate!

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2018, 10:10:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm
I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

You didn’t know… None of us knew.

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Now, I have to pay the price. It’s been a nightmare and it keeps getting worse. I’m losing everyone I love. I either have to go back on or lose my life. It’s that real.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Your parents are fed up? Doesn’t sound like they appreciate what you are trying to do. Can you let them go find their own help? I am sorry but your priority needs to be YOU right now and they could be preventing you from healing. Bye Bye Mom and Dad! That is what I would do. Sorry.

Benzo Buddies cult orders member NOT to attend grandmother’s funeral

Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« on: December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am »

[Buddie]

Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.

Re: Advice of rescue pill do or dont.
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2017, 01:17:17 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 12:51:08 pm
Quote from: [Buddie] on December 27, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Does a 5 mg of Valium destroy my w/d ? I am benzo free since 1 of October 2017. I am going to a funeral and I have a hard w/d.
Is zoplicone as bad as benzo? I need to sleep the night before the funeral.
If i take one of them will I be back to zero and has to do all crap again

Please don’t reinstate. You have three months of very hard work – the worst period –
behind you now. Taking any risk with that is definitely not something to take lightly and it is most certainly not in your best interests.

You do not have to go to any event, funeral or otherwise; put your recovery first. Not only are you ‘entitled’ to put yourself first, it is imperative that you do so, for your own benefit and the benefit of others who are dear to you.

In time, there will be plenty of opportunity to ‘make up for’ your absences and inabilities of this current period, when your mind is clear, your abilities and capabilites have returned and external activities have become an easy, ordinary thing to do, once again.

I had to miss my son’s wedding for similar reasons and (at the time) suffer the ignominy of my own embarrassment which resulted from that, along with those ‘confirming’ feelings of utter helplessness that also arose from it. (That’s not to mention my second-guessing the uninformed assessments of others and “what they must have thought of me”…) However, my abilities and circumstances now are very different and I am the living proof to others, to myself and now, hopefully, you, that very careful management of your condition has to be your first priority and that no one else can do it for you.


Yes, you are so right.. It is my grand mothers funeral. It makes me so sad. Feels like I am in a mental prision.
I was taking a glass of Baileys last weekend and I start to feel anxiety after that….So no more alcihol

Heartless family sends woman flying into arms of another family… a cult family

Pisses me off that this is not seen as a legimate illness (rant)
« on: December 14, 2017, 01:54:09 pm »

[Buddie]

My mom and other family members love to laugh about panic disorder and anxiety. Why? Because they don’t understand it. My distant cousin who’s gone through some trauma of her own is on 4 different medications for anxiety and depression. The way they just talked about her and another family member who has social anxiety really angered me. They dismiss everything about this illness and just made fun of how she shakes constantly and how the other one can’t look up to say hi to a stranger. I heard them in the back laughing how everyone has a panic disorder. The ignorance just blows my mind.

I don’t find this funny at all. I’m shaking cause I’m so upset right now. What would they do if they experienced 5 minutes of panic? 5 minutes of the mental torment. I bet they’d swallow every pill in sight as well in the hopes of feeling normal again. I know I’m healing and what I’m going through is w/d but there are people out there with legitimate illnesses. For some people this isn’t w/d and is a part of their everyday lives..

Do we need to get cancer for someone to actually care? Do people with mental illnesses need to be hooked up to 4 ivs in a hospital bed for someone to understand? This is not cool. There needs to be more awareness, more compassion in our society. This just sickens me.

I might’ve lost my temper at them and am complelety ok with that. Someone needed to.

“CALL ME”

call me....
« on: May 15, 2017, 08:20:35 pm »

[Buddie]

hey, i think sometimes its easier to relate to people when you actually chit chat on the phone. if anyone needs to talk, feel free to give me a call, i think it would therapeutic, i went to an anxiety meeting and found it to help me so much when i could talk to someone about my issues. its hard to find someone who understands. i know my wife doesn’t understand nor my family. so i welcome anyone, 305-305-2923. I’m not a weirdo, lol, google me if you’d like, jase haber.

Re: call me....
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2017, 08:35:28 pm »

[Buddie]

Where do you live? I am in the U.S. Will this be an out of country call?

Re: call me....
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2017, 08:37:32 pm »

[Buddie]

no i am in miami….

Re: call me....
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2017, 08:47:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Can I call you right now?

Re: call me....
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2017, 09:02:16 pm »

[Buddie]

yes

Re: call me....
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2017, 09:07:05 pm »

[Buddie]

My number is

305-305-2923

Re: call me....
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2017, 09:34:43 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s against BB rules to give out personal information such as your name and phone number and to solicit phone calls. I did Google you and what I found was ***NOT*** very complementary at all.

I would strongly caution all members! For your own safety, do not attempt to contact this person!

Re: call me....
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2017, 10:16:31 pm »

megan918

[…], this is indeed against the rules. It’s not allowed on this forum:

You are not permitted to post your contact details to the BenzoBuddies forum. Nor should you solicit the contact details of other members. Links to, or requests to join, Facebook or any other social networking websites which might potentially identify members’ true identities are not allowed

Please do not do this again. If you do, you risk not being able to post freely as a result.

[…]
Administrator

Re: call me....
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2017, 11:50:08 pm »

[Buddie]

First and foremost I had no idea this was against the rules, I don’t see anything so wrong with putting out my phone number as long as it’s in the attempt to communicate with people and help each other out. I happened to have had a great conversation with somebody that could relate to me. I apologize for offending so many of you. When this is a form this design to help each other. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. I’m not by any means ashamed of what I’m going through and have no issues helping other people that are in the same situation as I am. But again I apologize if I’ve violated the rules and any which way. But once again, I’m giving out my phone number not anyone else’s. My personal information no one else’s, it’s up to that person whether they need somebody to talk to them or not. I was really under the impression this was a form to help each other out, and I’m actually glad I put my phone number because I got to meet someone that was very cool and we happen to have a lot in common and are going to similar situations, as well as I’ve met somebody prior to that who has help me through this whole process. But I will make sure not to post it again since it’s obviously against the rules.

Re: call me....
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2017, 11:58:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 15, 2017, 09:34:43 pm
It’s against BB rules to give out personal information such as your name and phone number and to solicit phone calls. I did Google you and what I found was ***NOT*** very complementary at all.

I would strongly caution all members! For your own safety, do not attempt to contact this person!

You googled me, you would see I’m a successful actor as well as business man. So please do not even think for one minute you know me.

Re: call me....
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2017, 12:08:56 am »

megan918

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 15, 2017, 11:50:08 pm
First and foremost I had no idea this was against the rules, I don’t see anything so wrong with putting out my phone number as long as it’s in the attempt to communicate with people and help each other out. I happened to have had a great conversation with somebody that could relate to me. I apologize for offending so many of you. When this is a form this design to help each other. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. I’m not by any means ashamed of what I’m going through and have no issues helping other people that are in the same situation as I am. But again I apologize if I’ve violated the rules and any which way. But once again, I’m giving out my phone number not anyone else’s. My personal information no one else’s, it’s up to that person whether they need somebody to talk to them or not. I was really under the impression this was a form to help each other out, and I’m actually glad I put my phone number because I got to meet someone that was very cool and we happen to have a lot in common and are going to similar situations, as well as I’ve met somebody prior to that who has help me through this whole process. But I will make sure not to post it again since it’s obviously against the rules.

Hello again,

Thanks for getting back to us and agreeing to follow the rules, but I want to make a few things perfectly clear, especially since we know you’ve published a book about your career as a professional con man:

You agreed to abide by the rules when you joined, as we all did. We have these rules to protect all of our members, and it doesn’t matter who you are or what you think about our rules – you still have to abide by them. This is a private club, not a democracy, and we reserve the right to terminate anyone’s membership if they are deemed in any way dangerous to others on the forum. We take these responsibilities very seriously. This is what appears over every pm sent or received:

Unfortunately, like the wider Internet, BenzoBuddies is not immune from those who would seek to misrepresent themselves as counsellors, doctors, confidants, etc. We have suffered our fair share of those whose only motivation in life is the desire to hurt others. It would be fair to describe one or two of these people as unhinged and a menace. Please do not share your contact information and personal details through the PM (Personal Message) system or the open forum.

Re: call me....
« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am »

megan918

Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

Re: call me....
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2017, 12:18:14 am »

[Buddie]

The book I published is nothing more than a book, I highly doubt you read it to even know anything about me. Don’t go by a title with out even knowing the full story. Judging me without even reading the book. I’m sure you also saw the influencing people I know in Hollywood. Don’t go by a cover, read before judging. My book was based on helping people, I dealt with millions of dollars, believe me my intentions are harmless in this forum. Just wanted to help someone in need. Pretty sure no one here is perfect

Re: call me....
« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2017, 12:20:30 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am
Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

That book was based on my mistakes. Mistakes I made when I was in my twenties, I’m now in my thirties and have managed to succeed the right way! Do your research, don’t just look at a book I published. Just saying, people shouldn’t be judging in this forum

Re: call me....
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2017, 12:30:22 am »

[Buddie]

[…],

I would really like this thread deleted. I feel I’m being judged for making an attempt to help someone and help myself as well. I was just seeking help and didn’t know the rules

Re: call me....
« Reply #15 on: May 16, 2017, 12:33:11 am »

megan918

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:30:22 am
[…],

I would really like this thread deleted. I feel I’m being judged for making an attempt to help someone and help myself as well. I was just seeking help and didn’t know the rules

We don’t delete threads that have received replies. It would be best for everyone to just move on now. There are lots of other members who need support and many other threads to post on.

Re: call me....
« Reply #16 on: May 16, 2017, 12:37:52 am »

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:20:30 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am
Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

That book was based on my mistakes. Mistakes I made when I was in my twenties, I’m now in my thirties and have managed to succeed the right way! Do your research, don’t just look at a book I published. Just saying, people shouldn’t be judging in this forum

I’ve already told you that I did my research. You want me to publish more links here? Of your recent “successes”? 

“Mistake”. That’s one of my favorite words   . A mistake is when one takes a left turn whilst meaning to take a right turn, oops. A mistake is NOT something that you DELIBERATELY CHOOSE, time and time and time again. Pre-meditated “mistakes”?

Whatever.

Re: call me....
« Reply #17 on: May 16, 2017, 08:27:54 am »

[Buddie]

Hi all,

[…] is a new member, and whatever failings occurred in his past, he was not hiding them from members since he has posted his real name. He now seems to now understand that because of the potential problem of people seeking to misrepresent themselves at support forums such as BB (to abuse/fleece/trick members), we do not allow personal contact information to be posted here. […] is here for support with his withdrawal from benzodiazepines – members should not judge each other. Unless he does something to prove otherwise, […] should be given the benefit of any doubt, just as we do with all members. After all, we generally do not know the true identity of other members, and all are unvetted.

Thank you.

Re: call me....
« Reply #18 on: May 16, 2017, 09:19:42 am »

[Buddie]

I can vouch for […]. He’s a good person just wanting to help but I can see how the board would be concerned. Not everyone has good intentions. Talking to someone going through the same thing really helps me.

Re: call me....
« Reply #19 on: May 16, 2017, 10:25:05 am »

[Buddie]

It helps me too,that’s why f.b groups are good.yea there’s some evil people out there but if your genuine it does help other people.i speak to people in benzo groups also on the phone some times as it’s a lonely process.but I also understand other people’s concerns too…

Re: call me....
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2017, 10:47:23 am »

[Buddie]

What are some good f.b. groups?

Re: call me....
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2017, 12:49:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you guys for all those nice private messages you’re sending me, I really appreciate the support, unfortunately I don’t know what they did to my account but it does not allow me to respond to any private message. I guess another strategic way of holding me back from finding the help I need. But I want everybody to know I appreciate the messages I just can’t respond to them

Endless taper pushes addict over the edge

Screaming out in mental agony
« on: May 13, 2017, 10:54:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t know what happened to me today but the mental tension got so much, I just screamed in agony, begging God to take me…I just cried hysterically pleading for relief and release from this horrible, painful agony….Need help but there’s no help