THIS TAPER FAILED

I reinstated my klonopin please help everyone scaring me!!
« on: September 20, 2020, 05:45:53 pm »

[Buddie]

I was tapering and I got from 2mg daily down to 1.25mg over the course of some
Months I was doing well… my mom passed and I just had back to back panic attacks and 5 trips to the ER, in a week! So I reinstated yesterday and I feel
Much better but I absolutely want to get off, I’m
Just wondering why do people fear monger? NOT in this forum but in others I’ve been told
If I try to wean again I will be in horrible condition, I will not be able to do it, I’m at a larger risk for seizures… is this really true please help!

Re: I reinstated my klonopin please help everyone scaring me!!
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2020, 07:51:46 pm »

[Buddie]

I can relate, don’t know what to tell you. I am freaking out 24/7 for almost nothing and everything at the same time. Everything is a trigger and race my anxiety and fear. But I notice that when I go for a walk and do my sport and yoga (I do it almost every day), my mind is busy and I am less triggered. But still… I can barely being around people. Some days are better than other, for exemple today I was incapable to see anyone but Friday I went to the restaurant with a friend, I was anxious but I managed. I try to push myself to get my brain use to a normal life style, don’t know if it help or not because usually if I do something and force too much, seems that I pay it for days after… I cannot help you with taper because I cold turkey 🙁

Cruel taper forced on 74-year-old?

Day 19 and terrified Please help is this normal?
« on: January 02, 2020, 11:12:29 am »

[Buddie]

Dear all
After a long difficult taper from just 4mgs of valium taken for 3-4 months and over a period of 17 months with a blip in the taper September 2018 wen in hospital for 3 days and put back to 4mgs from taper reduction down to 2.5mgs, since October 2108 tapered off suffering all way down with many symptoms , mostly fear related, but many others,
Tapered to zero with a DMLT for the last 2mgs and taking 4 months to reduce the last 1mgs reducing at 0.01mg a day ,

Now at day 19 and absolutely terrified, , Lots of symptoms, tinnitus (Severe) numbness hands face lips mouth teeth, toes

Little to no sleep. Agoraphobia, unable to deal with any stress at all, Major weight loss,

Please can you tell me is it normal to be this bad at 19 days off?

I don’t want to take anything just to know this is how it is and it will ease?

I am 74 and still cannot believe this has happened , shaking like mad, Icy cold, hands feet,

Teeth hurt nose hurts , not sure what to do as I cannot distract,

Just words of assurance I guess

Please help me

[…]

Holiday horror stories pile up as Benzo Buddies members realize Ashton tapers have destroyed their lives

What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »

Ptsdmiracle

In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.

So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.

It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.

For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.

You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.

If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.

What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?

You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.

You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.

I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.

When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.

Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.

When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.

15 month Klonopin taper failing after Benzo Buddies runs John123 into a ditch

Moving Residences During the Taper; Ever Done Before?
« on: August 16, 2019, 03:37:10 pm »

John123

Hi BB. My taper is going pretty well since I started in early March. I taper 5% every 2 weeks on a daily dry cut basis of Klonopin. My main withdrawal symptoms are persistent low level anxiety, some brain fog, agitation and chest pressure. I call this my Window. Every few weeks I seem to get a wave for about 2 days where I am basically laid up in bed immobilized. I do not currently work.

My taper of 15 months is scheduled to end on June 1 next year. It now looks like I will have to move out of State ( in the US) during this taper.

My question is whether any BB out there has had to move residences during their taper and how did it go? This would be helpful for me even if the move is not far.

Thank you!


I currently take Kolonopin 1.5 mg per day. I am planning to start on 2/25/19 to taper using the Mortar and Pestle method and scale. I am planning to start with a very conservative taper schedule and see how I do for the first two months.

Current symptoms: waking up very early with chest pressure and panic, morning chemical anxiety, brain fog, headaches, difficulty concentrating.

Benzo Buddies member’s photo revealed: devoted to brutal micro-taper, addict eats by attaching food to fan and having it blow into her mouth

Benzo Buddies approved taper ends in crisis unit

throwing in the towel
« on: April 06, 2019, 04:59:05 pm »

[Buddie]

i cant live like this. its not living .everyday is hell and fear for me. im going back on my original dose and hope to feel like i did a few months ago. maybe i really just need them anyway. i wish all you beautiful and strong people a successful taper and much peace. love & light to you all

Re: throwing in the towel
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2019, 11:39:08 pm »

[Buddie]

i spent the night in the crisis unit. im finally home. and i just want to tell everyone who took time out of you journey to encourage me that i truly love each one of you. family doent understand and they think by making me feel shame or less than because this is so hard is somehow going to majically fix this. i went up a bit. back on .5 in morinng and .5 and night. once im ready i will begin again. so much love and thanks to all you amazing and compassionate warriors.. much love to you all. this group is filled with the kindest and strongest people of ever come across.. thank you so much <3 love & light to all. jill

Addict blames Klonopin after ending up in rehab for opiates

A year of an opioid addiction followed by a year of a Klonopin prescription
« on: March 07, 2019, 10:21:14 am »

[Buddie]

It has not been a good 2 years. January 2017 I began abusing Oxycodone and other opioids. I knew I was heading down a dark tunnel but I didn’t care. I was severely depressed and it was the only thing that made me feel better. That didn’t last long. I spent about a month in rehab in November 2017 and got clean. From opiates, at least. When I got out of rehab my anxiety was so bad I ended up going to the emergency room and they gave me a shot of Valium and a bottle of 90 1mg Clonazepam and told me to take up to 3mg a day as needed. I quickly realized that was too high of a dose for me and ended up taking 1 to 1.5mg a day. I’m currently taking 2mg a day and I feel like my anxiety and depression have returned with a vengeance. I spend a majority of my time sleeping, smoking weed, and watching TV. I have no urge to hang out with any of my friends and have become a recluse. Everything feels like a chore, even eating. I’m 6 foot and 150 pounds. I’m in college and I can barely make it to class. Even when I go I feel like it’s pointless because I don’t remember anything. I feel like Clonazepam has ruined my memory. I used to be able to get all A’s and a few B’s in my classes without studying much. Now I study more than ever and I can barely remember the last page I read. While I was abusing opiates I definitely was not in a good state of mind and it completely fried my dopamine receptors but I feel like the effects Klonopin have had on my brain are even worse. I’m only 22 and feel like if I stay on this drug I’m gonna have Alzheimers by 30. I’m dedicated to tapering off but taking it slow. I just have a few questions I’d like to ask the community if anyone has some input. How long do the memory problems last? Do you notice your memory start to “come back” once getting off benzos? What are some tips to help improve benzo induced memory loss? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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