Benzo Buddies kooks discover new fear: lawn fertilizer

Lawn fertilizer exposure - please talk me out of anxiety over this
« on: November 02, 2020, 06:02:32 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi guys,

I’m having major anxiety attacks over this… I’m hoping it’s irrational? My neighbor had her grass fertilized today. My husband noticed that some of our garbage had blown into her yard, so he walked into the yard while the sprinklers were running to pick it up then immediately got into our car to drive it up the driveway. I have to leave to pick up my child from school in the same car and I’m having near panic attacks about having to get into the car with fertilizer residue all over the driver’s side floor. I’m worried about inhalation or any kind of exposure to it. I don’t know if I’m reactive to fertilizer at all, but I feel so fragile in this state that I worry about anything and everything. Is there any reason to worry over this? Please help… I feel like I’m drowning in anxiety.

Cruel taper forced on 74-year-old?

Day 19 and terrified Please help is this normal?
« on: January 02, 2020, 11:12:29 am »

[Buddie]

Dear all
After a long difficult taper from just 4mgs of valium taken for 3-4 months and over a period of 17 months with a blip in the taper September 2018 wen in hospital for 3 days and put back to 4mgs from taper reduction down to 2.5mgs, since October 2108 tapered off suffering all way down with many symptoms , mostly fear related, but many others,
Tapered to zero with a DMLT for the last 2mgs and taking 4 months to reduce the last 1mgs reducing at 0.01mg a day ,

Now at day 19 and absolutely terrified, , Lots of symptoms, tinnitus (Severe) numbness hands face lips mouth teeth, toes

Little to no sleep. Agoraphobia, unable to deal with any stress at all, Major weight loss,

Please can you tell me is it normal to be this bad at 19 days off?

I don’t want to take anything just to know this is how it is and it will ease?

I am 74 and still cannot believe this has happened , shaking like mad, Icy cold, hands feet,

Teeth hurt nose hurts , not sure what to do as I cannot distract,

Just words of assurance I guess

Please help me

[…]

62-year-old woman at end of her rope after being abused by Benzo Buddies

Checking in after 4.5 years
« on: April 01, 2019, 08:04:08 am »

[Buddie]

Just wanted to stop by to check in as it’s been a few years. I bounced in to BB in 2014 whe I was about to get off my clonopin. I was a mess. Well I got off them and became more of a mess. Then put on Prozac and gabapentin.

Here’s my timeline now:

4.5 years off benzos
2.2 years off Prozac
2 years off gabapentin

Med free

It’s been grueling. I live all alone with no support except online. I had to keep working to stay off the streets which has been extremely difficult. I declared bankruptcy after I spent 12,000.00 on an amino acid therapy and countless other things I thought would help.

My symptoms are still extreme and all mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual and cognitive. I’m scared and alone.

I thought I would reach out to you all. I have had no windows or any breaks though I’m better than I was 4 years ago. In total it’s been about 10 years of hell on and off meds. So I’ve lost hope. 2010 was wake up call when I rapid tapered off Xanax and nearly died while unconscious. Fortunately my Neigbors found me and I woke up in a hospital with extreme hallucinations for 3 weeks. Once released I had to go back to work but couldn’t so they put me on clonazepam. On and on until I got worse and worse with more meds (ad’s)

Then found BB

Long story long road

Like many others

Anyway here I am med free and could use some hope if your not to busy

I’m 62 and it doesn’t seem or feel like I’ll ever heal. Maybe something else is wrong but had 2 MRIs and tests which bankrupt me. So now I’m just trying to keep a roof over my head.

All I want is to be well to feel love and joy and know what well being feels like again.

Thank you

Woman wasting away to nothing in grip of insane Benzo Buddies taper regimen

Family is now concerned
« on: October 03, 2018, 02:41:01 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been battling Benzo discontinuation syndrome for almost 3 years now. No one but my husband has really ever taken me seriously… must be your original symptoms coming back.. Yada Yada.. well this year my body just started wasting more. I’ve lost weight all along but this year 25 pounds and now I look sick. Now I’m being worried about and being told to see specialists by my parents. I don’t want to see them worry but I don’t have the energy to go through all the testing for all the symptoms I have. I also don’t want to be put under for an upper and lower GI. Their badgering now makes me think it’s something else.. it’s getting in my head and now I think I have cancer.

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am »

[Buddie]

First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2018, 10:29:47 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am
First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Hello, thanks for responding I did wind up making a appt. to get started with tests starting with blood work. I started the Lamictal the same time I started Klonopin in 2015. I’ve never increased my dose and don’t plan to but yes it did help me greatly at the time. I was having extreme rage and could not be a good parent. I was so hesitant but I had to and lucky for me I have absolutely no issues with it so far… now coming off might be a different story. What I do know is that I can miss a day of taking it and I don’t notice. I hear when I do decide to come off the anger will return but it’s the very last one I plan to remove.

Sad story of cult abuse

Leaving home
« on: February 19, 2018, 05:10:23 am »

[Buddie]

Hi guys have so much on my plate at the moment .they found white marks on my brain.did have a gambling problem but have banned from club’s.my toxic family I cannot deal with anymore who will not support me in anyway have been mental abusive and running me down too long now they have stressed me to the max all I wanted was love and support.i am finding it very difficult to function at all anymore so I’m selling my home waiting a month for health fund to kick in so I can go to private hospital for 4 to 5 months and get off last 10mg once and for all after 10 years.my only child whose 19 said mum I luv you but I don’t want to be around you anymore it broke my heart he said your not mum no more you dont want to clean do anything.ive go from a mortgage broker to a functioning mum who took pride in herself in my home and had friends to this debilati g mess.yes I know if I had support from family and others things could have been different but I am so broken and breaking down can’t go on like this anymore.i stayed in the area near my family for my son but can’t do this no more. .I have zilch support here but horrible family so now just waiting on results of brain please God nothing serious go and come off valium.i pray to God it’s not too late especially with the marks on my brain and breaking down.i am so fragile it’s not funny.it is disgusting and angers me that doctors can do so much damage too our lives lack of duty of care.i hope after news of tests and off the valium and alot of hardwork and forgetting my family I can start to go up the mountain.i truly feel there’s not much left of me as I feel like just a shell and distressed mind but there’s alittle hope in me that I will heal for me and my son and then the doctor’s and my family haven’t won.

Cult members salivate at prospect of forcing 74-year old mother into abusive taper regimen

Caring for aging parents before during and after withdrawal
« on: February 05, 2018, 02:22:22 pm »

[Buddie]

My mother is sick. She is 74 and in tolerance withdrawal herself. Having survived this nighmare, I recognize so much of her struggles to be benzo related. Add to that her weakened and elderly state, and I just cant find the way out for her. Let alone navigate through the storm.

I wanted to share experiences, ideas and thoughts from anyone else who knows this journey!

Peace&Love
[…]&Faith