Woman wasting away to nothing in grip of insane Benzo Buddies taper regimen

Family is now concerned
« on: October 03, 2018, 02:41:01 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been battling Benzo discontinuation syndrome for almost 3 years now. No one but my husband has really ever taken me seriously… must be your original symptoms coming back.. Yada Yada.. well this year my body just started wasting more. I’ve lost weight all along but this year 25 pounds and now I look sick. Now I’m being worried about and being told to see specialists by my parents. I don’t want to see them worry but I don’t have the energy to go through all the testing for all the symptoms I have. I also don’t want to be put under for an upper and lower GI. Their badgering now makes me think it’s something else.. it’s getting in my head and now I think I have cancer.

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am »

[Buddie]

First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Re: Family is now concerned
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2018, 10:29:47 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on October 04, 2018, 10:09:57 am
First let me say, I’m glad your husband understands, at least you have someone on your team. Let me akso say, I know it’s hard to get the testing, physically and mentally hard to do…but if you do it, both you and your family can get done relief. Either they treat a bigger problem or they find nothing. Either way it’s a win win situation.

May I ask, off subject, has the lamictal helped you?

Hello, thanks for responding I did wind up making a appt. to get started with tests starting with blood work. I started the Lamictal the same time I started Klonopin in 2015. I’ve never increased my dose and don’t plan to but yes it did help me greatly at the time. I was having extreme rage and could not be a good parent. I was so hesitant but I had to and lucky for me I have absolutely no issues with it so far… now coming off might be a different story. What I do know is that I can miss a day of taking it and I don’t notice. I hear when I do decide to come off the anger will return but it’s the very last one I plan to remove.

Sad story of cult abuse

Leaving home
« on: February 19, 2018, 05:10:23 am »

[Buddie]

Hi guys have so much on my plate at the moment .they found white marks on my brain.did have a gambling problem but have banned from club’s.my toxic family I cannot deal with anymore who will not support me in anyway have been mental abusive and running me down too long now they have stressed me to the max all I wanted was love and support.i am finding it very difficult to function at all anymore so I’m selling my home waiting a month for health fund to kick in so I can go to private hospital for 4 to 5 months and get off last 10mg once and for all after 10 years.my only child whose 19 said mum I luv you but I don’t want to be around you anymore it broke my heart he said your not mum no more you dont want to clean do anything.ive go from a mortgage broker to a functioning mum who took pride in herself in my home and had friends to this debilati g mess.yes I know if I had support from family and others things could have been different but I am so broken and breaking down can’t go on like this anymore.i stayed in the area near my family for my son but can’t do this no more. .I have zilch support here but horrible family so now just waiting on results of brain please God nothing serious go and come off valium.i pray to God it’s not too late especially with the marks on my brain and breaking down.i am so fragile it’s not funny.it is disgusting and angers me that doctors can do so much damage too our lives lack of duty of care.i hope after news of tests and off the valium and alot of hardwork and forgetting my family I can start to go up the mountain.i truly feel there’s not much left of me as I feel like just a shell and distressed mind but there’s alittle hope in me that I will heal for me and my son and then the doctor’s and my family haven’t won.

Cult members salivate at prospect of forcing 74-year old mother into abusive taper regimen

Caring for aging parents before during and after withdrawal
« on: February 05, 2018, 02:22:22 pm »

[Buddie]

My mother is sick. She is 74 and in tolerance withdrawal herself. Having survived this nighmare, I recognize so much of her struggles to be benzo related. Add to that her weakened and elderly state, and I just cant find the way out for her. Let alone navigate through the storm.

I wanted to share experiences, ideas and thoughts from anyone else who knows this journey!

Peace&Love
[…]&Faith

Christmas visit to psychiatrist ends in disaster

Psych mistake
« on: January 30, 2018, 01:58:23 pm »

[Buddie]

I went to see the psychiatrist just after Christmas. I have intrusive thoughts and she wanted to change my antidepressant to help this. So I had to come off 100mg Nortriptyline and she gave me six weeks to do that. My dose was made up of 4x25mg tablets per day. So I cut down to 75mg. I felt okay and was optimistic. However, ten days after I’d gone down to 75mg I felt worse than ever and my intrusive thoughts were completely out of control. Now I am barely functioning. I have talked to the psychiatrist and we agreed to go back to 100mg. I am seeing her again next Wednesday. But now I am stuck in bed and the situation is much worse. I don’t know what to do. Any ideas? Thanks.

Anti-psychiatry gang at Benzo Buddies unable to help terrorized cop’s wife

In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« on: January 13, 2018, 05:35:39 am »

[Buddie]

He came home yelling at me. He’s a cop. He was in his uniform and he pulled out his gun, waived it around then stuck it to his head and then said he was going to blow his brains out. I threw myself off the other side of the bed to get away. I covered my head and screamed for help. He left. I’m in shock. I’m in the worst stages of withdrawal from an inhumane taper. I already have PTSD. I don’t know if I’m going to be alright. I am safe now. I just keep hoping I will wake up tomorrow and this will have been a nightmare.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2018, 05:38:08 am »

[Buddie]

This is not good, you need to get out— he is coming back and you are not safe. Get out now and call 911 please.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2018, 05:42:34 am »

[Buddie]

He came back and locked the gun up. I locked myself in the bathroom until it was locked up. He’s crying. Idk what to do. I’m in shock. It took a few hours for me to stop shaking enough to use my phone. My heart is hurting physically. A lot of pain. Huge migraine. Dear God someone please save me. My daughter is at a school function for the weekend. There’s one good thing.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2018, 05:44:45 am »

[Buddie]

Don’t let her come home. Have to believe in people outside of this situation, that they will believe you and help.

Moderators can help with this. I have notified them.

Hang in there and breathe slowly.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2018, 05:48:43 am »

[Buddie]

Please no one call the police. Please. There’s no point.They will believe him […] me like when he hurt me before. He would never admit to them the truth. He’s already said that. Just please be there for me on here. Please

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2018, 05:53:35 am »

[Buddie]

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2015/10/26/police-wife-the-secret-epidemic-of-police-domestic-violence/

DO NOT CALL POLICE

PLEASE SEE ARTICLE

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2018, 06:33:12 am »

[Buddie]

[…], has your husband seen what benzo withdrawal looks like in his line of duty? Does he understand what it’s like? Does he understand what’s going on? Does he suffer from depression?

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2018, 08:03:39 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 13, 2018, 05:48:43 am
Please no one call the police. Please. There’s no point.They will believe him […] me like when he hurt me before. He would never admit to them the truth. He’s already said that. Just please be there for me on here. Please

I personally think you need to admit that you, and your child, are going down a path that historically doesn’t improve on it’s own and doesn’t end well for anyone involved. There are avenues that exist, including recording the violent encounters, and seeking an order of protection through the courts, that can free you from your situation.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2018, 08:17:15 am »

[Buddie]

If a domestic situation escalate, I think that a voluntary inpatient stay would make a lot of sense. A temporary safety and an opportunity to see if meds need to be adjusted. It’s extremely difficult dealing with severe withdrawal, and such difficult domestic situation at the same time. Safety always comes first.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2018, 04:43:13 pm »

[Buddie]

Are you okay?

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2018, 06:10:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Do you have any parents or aunts or uncles or cousins or old friends places, that you and your child could go stay with? I really think you need to find a place to go to. I hope you are doing okay.

Benzo Buddies members can’t stop crying after torture of years-long tapers

Cannot Stop Crying......
« on: December 09, 2017, 08:58:05 pm »

[Buddie]

From the relentless nonstop torture utter despair and sorrow this has all caused me
The sorrow is so deep
Please make it stop

Re: Cannot Stop Crying......
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2017, 10:09:37 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve so been there. Sending hugs.

Re: Cannot Stop Crying......
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2017, 10:15:07 pm »

[Buddie]

Me too….. incredibly hard at times. ….and to make things worse my boyfriend basically gets upset with me and tells me to “get myeflf under control”. 🙁 Sending you comforting hugs.