Dealing with loss of income/job:
Here’s a message for everyone who has lost their job due to benzo withdrawal syndrome.
I ran into a guy I used to work with at a previous company from a few years ago. Here’s how the conversation went:
He said “Are you still working at (company)?”
I said “no, I’m still unemployed“.
He said “Really? What do you do all day?”
This was a question I wasn’t prepared for and at first I panicked and thought to myself “oh my God, what DO I do all day”? Then…it dawned on me…I’m fighting a secret battle to save my mind and my very soul. I spend all my energy researching this horrible curse, interacting with others who are going through the same thing and experimenting with the right diet and supplements to restore some form of normalcy to my life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am probably working harder than I ever have in my entire life 24/7 just to keep myself from going insane. And a wave of calmness came over me and all of a sudden I felt proud of myself for fighting the toughest battle I’ve ever faced.
This is our “job” now! Fighting Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome. And that is something all of us should be proud of. I don’t know many people that could endure so much physical and emotional pain, embarrassment, humiliation, guilt and anger all at once and still get up every day.
So I answered his question by simply saying “I’m working on something big”. And that answer was the truth, in fact, it was an understatement.
I just want everyone to give themselves a pat on the back for fighting this battle every second of the day and winning. This is our new job as far as I’m concerned. And it’s the hardest one we will ever have.
Hope this post helps everyone to feel good about themselves tonight and show yourself some compassion and love. You have all earned it.
Peace and love to all!
does anyone else feel frustrated about the amount of attention on opioid WD
« on: August 09, 2017, 10:34:34 am »
It is hard not to feel angry about the amount of attention being given to the opioid problem and the amount of financial support or resource support going to opioid use / withdrawal……. i suspect benzo WD is far more profound a problem but because benzo use is associated with anxiety and many of the WD symptoms appear to be “psychological” – we are dismissed …….. i know anger is not a productive emotion but yesterday saw a press conference with President Trump and how he’s tackling this and it was hard not to feel angry….. i worked so hard in corporate america for 20 yrs – 50-60 hour weeks – paid a fortune in taxes and yet there is no help and i could lose everything for taking a prescription given to me following a surgery and used according to the instructions provided…… from people i know who got off opioids – their WD is not fun but its nothing compared to this…… we deal with both GABA and dopamine receptors being screwed up …… you read stories where people say getting off heroine was easier…. what does that say? feeling very frustrated by this….
“277 reports may not be enough!” – panicked Benzo Buddies member
Benzo Buddies claims to have 33,085 members yet can’t rouse a paltry 1% of them to fill out a complaint to the FDA. The tiny, secret Facebook groups have perhaps 2000 members combined (most join multiple groups in order amplify the self-pity they can wallow in everyday as they talk about how bottled water can send them into a wave) but despite hounding by zealots can’t get more than a handful of their members to do this.
WTH IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
« on: June 25, 2017, 12:45:03 am »
There are people out here REALLY hurting and no one responds even though over 60 people read this persons thread? I don’t get it, is it too damn much to write a word or two?
DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU WERE NEW HERE AND WERE HURTING AND PEOPLE READ YOUR CRY FOR HELP AND NO ONE RESPONDED? OR DID YOU ALL FORGET OR NEVER HAVE THAT PROBLEM OR YOU JUST DON’T CARE ANYMORE?
sorry this shit pisses me off!!
« Last Edit: June 25, 2017, 01:10:15 am by [Buddie] »
« on: June 07, 2017, 03:46:46 am »
Ok, so they had a benefit concert for the injured in Manchester, England after the terror attack. They raised $22 million. Where the hell is our benefit concert for those of us who got injured by benzo’s and Z-drugs and lost our jobs and are on disability and with no health insurance and trying to make ends meet? Something is so wrong in this world. The terrorists are Big Pharma and we are the victims.
Re: Benefit concert
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2017, 05:48:48 pm »
Quote from: [Buddie] on June 07, 2017, 03:46:46 am
The terrorists are Big Pharma and we are the victims.
Well said. Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn’t see it that way.
Am I just lazy?
« on: May 21, 2017, 02:56:23 pm »
Yesterday I got out and cut the grass and felt bad. Today I have the don’t wants. So much to do. Whoa is me.
Re: Am I just lazy?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2017, 03:23:38 pm »
I feel so down. Anything I see depresses me. I wish I had someone to talk to. Nothing are no one to get motivated for. I just sit here and post. It feels like a big weight on top of me.
Re: Am I just lazy?
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2017, 04:10:42 pm »
Well you’ve already done more than I have in a year I bet lol. I am normally outside from morning to dark last two summers, nope and I am not seeing much being dif so far this summer.
K sucked the life out of me and I don’t do shit all day.
You’re not lazy I asked the same thing one day, you can’t just change like that.. its the w/d. You will be back to normal one day just keep hanging on.
My name is Danny. I created End Psychiatry. I’m also a musician. I play guitar, write, sing, scream, and rap. If you want your voice heard, please donate so I can scream it from the mountain tops.
Funds will only be used for:
If you’re not familiar with psychiatry, here is my story very briefly; I was forced brain altering chemicals that take away the ability to self regulate dopamine, and inhibit the ability to experience life, happiness and dignity. I was not suicidal, I was not guilty of a crime. (Message me at End Psychiatry if you have a question). Welcome to dystopia.
No one told me this would be a life stopper.....help..
« on: February 18, 2017, 01:38:00 am »
My story is long but I will try to tell it without going to tons of detail.
At the end of August I was morbidly depressed and decided I wanted to go in-patient. I also wanted to get off the 2 mg of adivan and the 2 mgs of Klonopin I took daily. The hospital said they could detox me in a week. I was excited that and thought new medicine could help me get off this stuff. They decided just to put me on a 7 day taper of librium. You would think the pdoc there would have a clue. Why did he do this to me? Needless to say, I left the hospital 2 days later, it was then I started feeling the withdrawal take affect. it was brutal, beyond hell. I had 3 weeks of deadly anxiety in my chest. I was writhing on the floor. I took 8000 steps in house in one day. Then that subsided and I got body and muscle aches. They the worst symptoms was the myoclonic jerks, that kept me awake for days. It made me crazy i think.
First question, during that time that my body was in the most amazing state of hell. My right eye, my vision became very bad. I went to the eye doc and he said I had Kerratoconus. An eye disease where the cornea becomes unstable and causes distortions. However, this never progressed until I was 43 and under tremendous stress physically and mentally from benzo withdrawal. Now I have to live with this bad vision. I am mad and upset and afraid. I want to sue the doctors. Anyone ever experience anything like this regarding their health?
Second question: It has been about 5 months since I stopped the benzos. I grind my teeth all the time. Feel sad, and frightened. I ruminate more than I ever have. I have not worked since this all happened because I am scared I will not sleep. I just can’t explain it. Maybe you all know how I am feeling. Am I ever going to be me again? Am I ever going to be the person I was? I went to an APRN to see about different medications yesterday, and he thinks I have borderline personality. He wants to put me on Depokote. I have seen,a pdoc here for 2 years, a IOP pdoc and other therapist in my lifetime and no one ever brought that up, ever,
Can someone tell me if this is just the new me? Why do I feel more mentally ill then I ever have? I used to be confident, laugh things off. Now I am a shell of what I was. I still think dark thoughts and I feel like at 44, I am waiting to die because I feel so scared and insecure. If something happens to my wife, how will i support my 3 year old son and myself??? I am really scared about working again? WHy? Someone please help me… if you can. Thank you all… so much.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 02:00:10 am by [Buddie] »
Because I'm sick ,I was called a LAZY BUM!!
« on: December 16, 2016, 09:58:28 pm »
I tried to post this before but I guess it didn’t go through. I was called a “Lazy Bum”. People don’t know how debilitating this ordeal is unless they go through it themselves or have a illness that keeps them from doing ordinary things. I pray I get healthy and can go back to work next year. I go to CBT and read self help books, to help with my severe anxiety.However, this W/D has made my inner ear Disease so much worse that I have vertigo,ear pressure and horrible balance everyday. I want to know who could work under those conditions. I’m not talking about minor dizziness either.Head spinning the whole nine yards. People so quick to judge us and that probably couldn’t even handle a week of this torture!!! I been going through this for almost two years. I do feel pathetic but it’s not my fault I know .The Doctor should of known better. I’m stuck suffering and being criticized for it SMDH.