Bit the bullet...
« on: December 03, 2017, 05:06:34 pm »
So today I decided that I have suffered enough… 14 months. I’ve decided to take Zoloft at 25mg to start. It may make things better, it may make things worth however, at this point in my recovery I have nothing to lose because my depression is getting worse by the day. Thank you everyone for your support and listening to my rants. I’ve tried everything to stabilize… maybe some people who did the same will chime in and give me some hope.
love to all,
Unlearning the lies benzos told me
« on: March 09, 2017, 03:06:43 pm »
As you can see, I am tapering from Ativan, directly. I dose only once a day, which produces interdose withdrawals. It’s not easy, but none of it is for any of us. It’s not just me. I cut last night, and today is terrible. Chest pain and palps. Anxiety. Anyway, this morning I am deciding to try to unlearn everything that Ativan has taught my body…here are some lies that Ativan taught my body…
1. You can’t handle your anxiety or insomnia. You need me.
2. What, you are going to go off me, gonna cut me out of your life slowly? No, you need more of me!
3. See, you can’t sleep without me. Here you are cutting me out of your life. You need more of me, not less. And I will fight you to prove it.
4. You are so sick: your tummy hurts, your head hurts. You need me. Just don’t cut me out. I will make you feel better.
5. See, you are cutting me out of your life, and your anxiety is worse. And you aren’t going to get better until you add me back into your life.
6. Oh, your chest hurts? Your heart is racing? Feel those occasional thumps, all me baby! Let me in and it will feel better!
7. Tinnitus, hmm. I will make you forget about it. It won’t exist.
8. Honey, I see your tears and hear your failure. You’re a failure because of me. Let’s start all over. Those tears and fails will go away.
9. Your body isn’t dependent on me. I only hurt you now because you are pushing me away instead of adding me to your life.
10. Life as you know is changing. You have lost interest in everything and it’s not my fault. You chose to give me up.
11. I am not the cause of you losing joy in your life. You miss the little moments. If you would take me back and add more of me in your life will be normal.
12. You know because you are cutting me out of your life, you are a failure. Yes, you are. You failed because you were too dumb to know what I could do to you. You chose to take me in. Now look at you, a shell of yourself, and a failure.
13. You think you are smart don’t you? Cutting me out slowly…I will create a hell that you have never experienced. You will never let me go. You will beg for me back. You wait and see.
What about you?! how has your benzo lied to you? Feel free to add. I know as I taper more, I will!
« on: March 24, 2016, 03:21:03 am »
We’ve been watching the TV show, Intervention. What amazes me is that people on benzos and drugs for months/years go through a 3 month detox and are fine! How could that be?
August 27, 2014
I was going to a Dr. that wanted to do a fast taper, it did not work out, it was horrible. Found a Dr. to do a slow taper, which I have not started yet, due to finding Benzo Buddies….it has scared the hell out of me! Now I have more anxiety than ever (I have anxiety disorder anyway). I wish I had never found BB, it is very detrimental. I also got so tired of reading the posts of people going through severe depression and other members telling them it’s a normal part of withdrawal, and to not take antidepressants as they are “poison”. The members should not be allowed to give out medical advice. For some people an antidepressant could very well save their life.
I’m going to now have to try to get through my taper wondering if I’ll become one of the ones that going into “paradoxical”, “inter-dose withdrawal” or “tolerance withdrawal” and be stuck in a living hell with no way out.
I wish I had never found that damn site. Those terms that they use are now branded into my brain…. I feel mind f**cked! I wasn’t scared of tapering/withdrawal until I found that place!
Please, if you read this, and have found or find Benzo Buddies, stay away! I wish I had!