lislis

7 years of being scared to eat sugar

This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« on: September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm »

lislis

I have gotten better in so many unbelievable ways, however, I just can’t heal my GI. I have tried over and over and over, and I’ll get to a point that I’m pretty ok, but then I’ll eat something, and bloat again, and mental symptoms will try to come through. Then I’ll stop eating, except to survive and things will settle, then the whole circle starts over again. I knew if I was ever gong to heal that I had to address my GI issues, which I started in 2011. So for the past 3 years, I have tried everything. I can’t tolerate sugar at all, caffeine, dairy or gluten. I can eat some cheese, and ok with stupid meat and vegetables. This is torture and honestly, I don’t ever see it changing. I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

I am actually considering finally getting a scope done. I just hope I don’t add more torture, but perhaps I should. I had one 7 years ago, when the heaviness on my chest started, and since I cut out all sugar even fruit, the heaviness stays away for the most part. I know a lot of us have a scope, which doesn’t usually show anything, and I just didn’t want to go through the risk of anesthesia, plus I completely hate doctors and don’t trust a single one of them. And, lets add that no one is knowledgable to handle benzo damage, and I know I will loose my patience if one more doctor tells me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do believe though that I will concede and schedule a scope and go through all that fear, and perhaps have a reaction, but I just can’t stand this, year after year, I try to stay hopefull, but what the heck!

Sorry to rant and rave. Wish I had happier thoughts, perhaps another day. Has anyone gotten a handle on this GI crap?
« Last Edit: September 05, 2014, 10:40:25 pm by lislis »

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2014, 10:25:23 pm »

jaso19

Quote from: lislis on September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm
I have gotten better in so many unbelievable ways, however, I just can’t heal my GI. I have tried over and over and over, and I’ll get to a point that I’m pretty ok, but then I’ll eat something, and bloat again, and mental symptoms will try to come through. Then I’ll stop eating, except to survive and things will settle, then the whole circle starts over again. I knew if I was ever gong to heal that I had to address my GI issues, which I started in 2011. So for the past 3 years, I have tried everything. I can’t tolerate sugar at all, caffeine, dairy or gluten. I can eat some cheese, and ok with stupid meat and vegetables. This is torture and honestly, I don’t ever see it changing. I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

I am actually considering finally getting a scope done. I just hope I don’t add more torture, but perhaps I should. I had one 7 years ago, when the heaviness on my chest started, and since I cut out all sugar even fruit, the heaviness stays away for the most part. I know a lot of us have a scope, which doesn’t usually show anything, and I just didn’t want to go through the risk of anesthesia, plus I completely hate doctors and don’t a single one of them. And, lets add that no one is knowledgable to handle benzo damage, and I know I will loose my patience if one more doctor tells me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do believe though that I will concede and schedule a scope and go through all that fear, and perhaps have a reaction, but I just can’t stand this, year after year, I try to stay hopefull, but what the heck!

Sorry to rant and rave. Which I had happier thoughts, perhaps another day. Has anyone gotten a handle on this GI crap?

Hey girl Its been so long ..

Im so sorry to hear what your going through. I dont have GI issues and I know that must be so hard .. I just wanted to say hello and let you know Im hoping you get this figured out so soon.

~Jenny

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2014, 10:41:11 pm »

lislis

Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you are doing well!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2014, 10:45:31 pm »

jenny21

Hi lislis– did the heaviness in your chest go away when you stopped eating sugar?? I have this sx , so any imput is appreciated. Sorry about your tummy troubles, I have them too and it is quite frustrating. Take care, jenny

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2014, 11:08:26 pm »

lislis

Hi Jenny, About a month after I started withdrawal I woke up with a heavy chest and it lasted for over 2 years. Sometimes I would have a break, but it was only when I noticed that I felt worse when I ate sugar and stopped eating sugar that the heaviness went away. After time passed I got cocky and tried some sugar and the heaviness came back. That was a great piece of the puzzle for me. Unfortunately I don’t learn and several other times I tried sugar again and the heaviness each time came back. The other problem was that each time I tried sugar again, I would crash and become more intolerant to more foods. I wish I would have realized that sugar was apparently my trigger. I’ve maid a mess of my GI not knowing how to care for myself. The Ashton Manual tells you that you may experience GI symptoms, but doesn’t at all tell you why this is happening and how to avoid making it worse!!!!

I wish you the best on your GI quest!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2014, 12:31:12 am »

prettydaisys

i don’t know if we have already talked about this or not but Geraldine Burns said that same exact thing that you did when she was over ten years out. that she would never heal unless she healed her GI issues. i know she has a lot of things/supplements/modalities that she did to heal her gut. have you spoken to her?

i have her email address if you would like to? maybe she can help. but she did say the exact same thing that you did at a longer time out.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2014, 12:59:55 am »

Clark

Quote from: lislis on September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm
I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

This isn’t true. 2 things, actually. I’m a nutritionist and have worked with GI doctors throughout the world (Yeah, as an inpatient at a mental asylum – Editor) so I have a good knowledge base of this.

1) it’s pretty well known now that eating ketogenic (high fat, low carb) Is the healthiest way to eat. Paleo style. If this was everyone’s normal and not the horrendous diet that most people eat we would be healthier as a whole.

2) It takes 1 year to heal your gut from food sensitivities and allergies, be it acquired or genetic. This means 1 year of not even the slightest amount of that thing, that’s why most people fail at recovering from food sensitivities. Once you acquire an allergy it means that your body sees it as an intruder and the immune system attacks it- hence all the unpleasant symptoms that follow. Your immune system designates white blood cells for that particular nutrient that will attack every time it is detected. Now, if you go one year without taking in ANY of it, your body will recycle those white blood cells and hopefully the allergy, or immune reaction, will be gone.

Lets use dairy for instance. Say you go 9 months without 1 gram of dairy at all and your feeling much better. Then, one day you eat a small piece of cheese, or a soup with some cream in the broth. You may have just started your year all over again because you re-activated those white blood cells.

Its difficult to do, but avoiding these things will make you healthier anyway and if you can stick it out for that whole year you should be able to recover from that sensitivity.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2014, 11:29:38 am »

lislis

Thank you guys! I totally agree about avoiding symptom causing foods. I need to practice what I preach. You are right. I start to feel better and then get cocky and eat things. The first time I may have no reaction, so I eat more and more and then wham! Then there is always that underlying part that there is something wrong that I am just blaming on OCD.

I appreciate all of your help guys! I believe I had Geraldine’s email, but if you could provide it again, that would be great!

Take care!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2014, 02:08:32 pm »

Caddo

I woke up today feeling like I drank a twelve pack last night, barely able to function, which is how I feel three or four times a week. This is what food intolerances do to me, and I also don’t think it will ever stop. I’ve had very little improvement in this bw symptom since it began, so it’s hard to see why it ever would stop. I can’t even do low carb because I’m hypoglycemic, plus I don’t tolerate the added fat that is needed to replace carbs. I don’t tolerate any supplements at all, so no probiotics, herbs, or vitamins. Fermented foods are also out. Last summer I stumbled upon something that was helping me a ton, and allowing me to eat many more things, but eventually I became intolerant to that as well. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s hard to have any hope when it’s so obvious that I will be dealing with this for many more years, if not forever. Sometimes I wish I could hurry up and die, because I can’t have a life. I read that gelatin can be good for healing the digestive system, so I’m going to try that, although I’m sure I won’t tolerate it either. Besides, I think this has more to do with my nervous system, but what do I have to lose. If that doesn’t work I will probably try to fast, but with my hypoglycemia I doubt I’ll get very far.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2014, 02:15:32 pm »

lislis

Caddo, very well stated and believe when I say, I am so sorry, because I know exactly what you are feeling. You made a great point that we try things and then become intolerant to the new stuff. I am exactly the same way. I used to get bad hypoglycemic feelings, but I haven’t for a long time, except for this past week, which I believe came from trying fermented foods. I bought gelatin on Amazon, but was too afraid to try it, and I threw it away. I am going to try to make bone broth now, which will have natural gelatin. Let’s see how that goes! I eat a lot of raw garlic I guess to help fungus, and if I have bacteria overgrowth and maybe because I can, lol. I have a small food list. I wonder if this will ever work itself out. But I also agree, I fear I have many years ahead of me in this unless, well you know.

I pray for you too. Let me know if you found a cure, and I’ll do the same . . . . . aaaahhhhh!

Münchausen

Münchausen syndrome: Benzo Buddies members want to be sick

Münchausen syndrome, is a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome, thick chart syndrome, or hospital hopper syndrome. True Münchausen syndrome fits within the subclass of factitious disorder with predominantly physical signs and symptoms, but they also have a history of recurrent hospitalization, travelling, and dramatic, untrue, and extremely improbable tales of their past experiences. Officially, Münchausen syndrome has been renamed “Factitious Disorder”, with specificity either as “Imposed on Self” or “Imposed on Another” (formerly “by Proxy”).

Münchausen syndrome / factitious disorder is related to Münchausen syndrome by proxy (MSbP/MSP), which refers to the abuse of another person, typically a child, in order to seek attention or sympathy for the abuser. It is an obsessive want to create symptoms for the victim in order to obtain repeated medication or even operations.

In Münchausen syndrome / factitious disorder, the affected person exaggerates or creates symptoms of illnesses in themselves to gain examination, treatment, attention, sympathy, and/or comfort from medical personnel. In some extreme cases, people suffering from Münchausen syndrome / factitious disorder are highly knowledgeable about the practice of medicine and are able to produce symptoms that result in lengthy and costly medical analysis, prolonged hospital stay and unnecessary operations. The role of “patient” is a familiar and comforting one, and it fills a psychological need in people with this syndrome. This disorder is distinct from hypochondriasis and other somatoform disorders in that those with the latter do not intentionally produce their somatic symptoms.

Münchausen syndrome / factitious disorder signs and symptoms may include:

  • Clever and convincing medical problems
  • Frequent hospitalizations
  • Vague or inconsistent symptoms
  • Conditions that get worse for no apparent reason
  • Conditions that don’t respond as expected to standard therapies
  • Eagerness to have frequent testing or risky operations
  • Extensive knowledge of medical terms and diseases
  • Seeking treatment from many different doctors or hospitals, which may include using a fake name
  • Having few visitors when hospitalized
  • Reluctance to allow health professionals to talk to family or friends or to other health care providers
  • Arguing with hospital staff
  • Frequent requests for pain relievers or other medications

How those with factitious disorder fake illness

Because people with factitious disorder become experts at faking symptoms and diseases or inflicting real injuries upon themselves, it may be hard for medical professionals and loved ones to know if illnesses are real or not.

People with Münchausen syndrome / factitious disorder make up symptoms or cause illness in several ways, such as:

  • Exaggerating existing symptoms. Even when an actual medical condition exists, they may exaggerate symptoms to appear sicker or more impaired than is true.
  • Making up histories. They may give loved ones, health care providers or support groups a false medical history, such as claiming to have had cancer or AIDS. Or they may falsify medical records to indicate an illness.
  • Faking symptoms. They may fake symptoms, such as stomach pain, seizures or passing out.
  • Causing self-harm. They may make themselves sick, for example, by injecting themselves with bacteria, milk, gasoline or feces. They may injure, cut or burn themselves. They may take medications, such as blood thinners or diabetes drugs, to mimic diseases. They may also interfere with wound healing, such as reopening or infecting cuts.
  • Tampering. They may manipulate medical instruments to skew results, such as heating up thermometers. Or they may tamper with lab tests, such as contaminating their urine samples with blood or other substances.

People with factitious disorder are willing to risk their lives to be seen as sick. They frequently have other mental disorders as well. As a result, they face many possible complications, including:

  • Injury or death from self-inflicted medical conditions
  • Severe health problems from unnecessary surgery or other procedures
  • Loss of organs or limbs from unnecessary surgery
  • Alcohol or other substance abuse
  • Significant problems in daily life, relationships and work

A health care provider may suspect factitious disorder when:

  • The person’s medical history doesn’t make sense
  • No believable reason exists for the presence of an illness or injury
  • The illness does not follow the usual course
  • There is a lack of healing for no apparent reason, despite appropriate treatment
  • There are contradictory or inconsistent symptoms or lab test results
  • The person is caught in the act of lying or causing his or her injury

To help determine if someone has factitious disorder, mental health providers conduct a detailed interview and run tests for possible physical problems.

To be diagnosed with factitious disorder, a person must meet the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association. The DSM criteria for factitious disorder (previously, when severe, called Munchausen syndrome) include:

  • Making up physical or psychological signs or symptoms or causing injury or disease with the deliberate intention to deceive
  • Pretending to be sick or injured or to be having problems functioning
  • Continuing with the deception, even without receiving any visible benefit or reward
  • Behavior is not better explained by another mental disorder, such as a delusional disorder or another psychotic disorder

The DSM criteria for factitious disorder imposed on another (previously called Munchausen syndrome by proxy) include:

  • Making up physical or psychological signs or symptoms or causing injury or disease in another person with the intention to deceive
  • Presenting another person to others as sick, injured or having problems functioning
  • Continuing with the deception, even without receiving any visible benefit or reward
  • Behavior is not better explained by another mental disorder

See also

abilify works for me..
« on: September 26, 2014, 04:13:03 pm »

edenhazard

Hello ,
after 16months off benzo’s I still have some symptoms. I’m allot better, I will start to work pretty soon.
But I am still pretty depressed and have some psychotic like symptoms wich I did not had before benzo’s (paranoia/anxiety). I’m 100% sure its still due the healing gaba receptors.
Now the psychiatrist told me I should be healed 2 months after I quit valium wich I used for 1 year. I pretty lolled inside.
I told him about this forum and he told me this ‘everything on the internet is bullshit’.
I wonder why a smart man with a porch / jaguar and villa told me this..
He gave me abilify.
I refuse to take it everyday because it makes me like a vegetable. I only take 1-2mg every 3-7 days. And it does work for depression.
I dont have any side effects but I’m scared of it.

question:
Does my mind still heal while using abilify? Is abilify withdrawal on the same lvl as benzo’s?

I really dont want to take it but it works and its helping my life pretty good atm.
After a long long time I’m getting my life back on track.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2014, 04:16:06 pm »

Challis99

Senior Moderator

I don’t think the Abilify will hurt or hinder healing. As far as whether or not to take it, if it’s working for you and helping you get through this withdrawal, I would go with it for now. You can always taper off of it later. We’re expert taperers after this, aren’t we.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2014, 04:48:19 pm »

Luigithepug

Quote from: edenhazard on September 26, 2014, 04:13:03 pm
I told him about this forum and he told me this ‘everything on the internet is bullshit’.

said every doctor ever.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2014, 04:52:20 pm »

edenhazard

The best part of the story is that my parents now believe I’m psychotic and thinks it can be permanent :’).
They dont believe in benzo withdrawal.

Thug life.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2014, 05:00:19 pm »

Challis99

Senior Moderator

Quote from: edenhazard on September 26, 2014, 04:52:20 pm
The best part of the story is that my parents now believe I’m psychotic and thinks it can be permanent :’).
They dont believe in benzo withdrawal.

Thug life.

My daughter is a nurse and thought I had early onset Alzheimer’s. She didn’t see me very often when I was in acute withdrawal and when she did visit, I tried my hardest to appear normal so it wouldn’t upset her. I’ve talked to her about it more openly now that I’m obviously functioning normally again, but she still doesn’t ‘get it’. I hope that someday she may be better educated in benzodiazepine withdrawal…not by her own personal experience but by job training…

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2014, 05:08:37 pm »

WiseWomanWithIssueS

While Abilify is considered an atypical antipsychotic, it’s also considered a major tranquelizer. To my knowledge it does not work on gaba, like benzos do so that shouldn’t impact you. I don’t believe that abilify is helping you because you have any psychotic tendancies. I think it helps you because it quiets down the glutamate some. The doctor is an idiot. Do what works. Ideally, when symptoms start to quiet down, you will be able to taper off this med.

Best,

WWWI

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2014, 05:19:52 pm »

Luigithepug

Quote from: edenhazard on September 26, 2014, 04:52:20 pm
The best part of the story is that my parents now believe I’m psychotic and thinks it can be permanent :’).
They dont believe in benzo withdrawal.

Thug life.

rofl.

Abilify is an anti-psychotic AND an anti-depressant. It’s quieting down your anxiety because it’s blocking your dopamine/norepinephrine (this leads to the vegetable feelings) and making you happier because it’s giving you more serotonin.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2014, 05:25:41 pm »

eastcoast62

Moderator

Challis, don’t wait on your nurse daughter being taught about this! They aren’t. I have been a nurse a long time, and am in contact with a few student nurses and they are just as ignorant as I was.

Edenhazard, if Abilify is helping, take it. You will get off it when the time is right. And try not to worry about what your parents think – they have no experience with things like this. Just smile, and keep on going. Im glad your depression is a little better – that’s huge.
east

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2014, 05:31:38 pm »

edenhazard

Quote from: Luigithepug on September 26, 2014, 05:19:52 pm
Quote from: edenhazard on September 26, 2014, 04:52:20 pm
The best part of the story is that my parents now believe I’m psychotic and thinks it can be permanent :’).
They dont believe in benzo withdrawal.

Thug life.

rofl.

Abilify is an anti-psychotic AND an anti-depressant. It’s quieting down your anxiety because it’s blocking your dopamine/norepinephrine (this leads to the vegetable feelings) and making you happier because it’s giving you more serotonin.

But in really low dose it defiantly helps lowering the anxiety lvls! No vegetable feeling at all.
It almost works so well I’m afraid of it.
The only things that work like benzo’s is the devil.

Re: abilify works for me..
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2014, 05:55:03 pm »

eastcoast62

Moderator

Just be careful that you don’t find yourself increasing the dose much over time. And, be sure you look up its side effects.
east

Acidhead told to change name of secret Facebook druggie group to “I’m addicted and in denial”

MORAN

Kooky Monday: Childlike buddies unable to do anything but feel sorry for themselves

The mind of a child.
« on: February 16, 2014, 09:01:13 pm »

[Buddie]

In some ways, I feel like I have the mind of a child. I am afraid of everything. going for a walk, going anywhere…talking to people…talking on the phone. It is as if my self confidence will have to be relearned. The confidence to go back to work…I’ve gotta relearn it. the confidence to go to the store, where all those people are, I must relearn that. That pounding in my chest…I must relearn that it’s ok, it means my heart is doing it’s thing, just as it always has.

Re: The mind of a child.
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2014, 09:16:15 pm »

[Buddie]

You won’t have to relearn it. It comes back naturally and gradually. It just takes time. It can take up to five years but it will come back! It helps to accept that it’s a part of the process. It will happen and you’ll be so grateful for every new sign of returning mental and physical health.