PIG

Benzo Buddies Manson girls attack woman who rejected cult dogma

Could FinallyJoining63 and Morreweg be any more bitter? Any more hateful? FinallyJoining63 can barely hide her jealousy of lindsaylouwho for daring to be recovered. Not having a shred of professional medical experience doesn’t stop pity addict Morreweg from telling lindsaylouwho she will get sick again. They use fear mongering to try to intimidate lindsaylouwho.
To her credit, in Reply #4, lindsaylouwho correctly scores Benzo Buddies as a cesspool of harmful negativity: “I know many people on other support forums who don’t want to quit because they come here once and are completely alarmed by the long-term sufferers. I know this because I have to talk them off the ledge.”
FinallyJoining63 and Morreweg are hateful, bitter women who – with apparently nothing better to do than sit at Benzo Buddies moaning about their victimhood – try to suck the joy out of lindsaylouwho (and don’t succeed). They’re professional victims who blame everyone but themselves for their mental health problems, and related drug abuse issues. Lindsaylouwho isn’t. Bravo lindsaylouwho.
2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« on: March 19, 2015, 11:07:08 pm »

lindsaylouwho

I know it can be discouraging to come to BB and see so many stories of protracted withdrawal. But not everyone will suffer that, and it’s important to go into it knowing you could be one that doesn’t experience long, difficult withdrawal. I refused to suffer long term–I just couldn’t do it, after 2 years of suffering following a serious car accident, head injury, uncontrolled seizures, then benzo withdrawal. And so, I didn’t. I did have the withdrawal symptoms most have–muscle spasms, muscle pain, horrible insomnia, this buzzing feeling everywhere, shortness of breath which I confused with a new case of asthma (but wasn’t), and frequent seizures once I discontinued. (I went on benzos for seizures so the fact I had them was not a huge surprise.) I treated these symptoms as I had been treating similar symptoms for years: Self massage on the muscle spasms, high but acceptable doses of magnesium, a diet very high in potassium and calcium, no glutamate, food additives, or processed food of any kind, lots of water but not too much, adding sodium to my diet to replace what I was flushing away with all the water (important–low sodium adds to muscle spasms). Most importantly, I did deep breathing and meditation during acute, and that made a huge difference. What I say to anyone going through withdrawal is: Don’t assume. Don’t assume your withdrawal will last forever, or you are at risk of making everything worse through anxiety, which will protract your withdrawal. Believe you could be lucky and have an easier experience, because a positive mind can effect your health and well being. And know your nutrition, breathing, and calmness of mind are not just ‘gooshy granola ideas’–they really do make a difference.

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2015, 05:12:15 am »

one year

Your an inspiration. I’ve never looked at this topic and I hope I can someday be writing my own success story. Thanks.

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2015, 05:27:21 am »

FinallyJoining63

I’m happy for you that you recovered so fast, especially since you had already been through the wringer with your accident, but sitting here tonight still feeling shitty 19 months off of Xanax and 26 months off of opioids, I find the implication that somehow I might have prolonged my suffering by fearing the worst and ramping up my anxiety just a bit hard to take. If I had just “refused to suffer longterm” that would have done the trick? Is it too late for me to stand up and refuse? Who’s in charge here? I’ll bet there are more people on this board who went into this hoping for the best, as you did, who are simply appalled by how long their healing has taken than there are people who actually made their healing take longer by fearing the worst. I doubt we can speed or slow down the time it takes our brains to heal in any case. We are not in control.

Further, I think there are a whole lot of A types like me who launched in expecting to have everything under control and have actually had to relax their need for control. I’ll never forget my acupuncture doctor telling me this: “You are doing everything right. And you are going to get well. But you have to stop trying so hard.”

Your attitude kind of reminds me of parents who brag about something that went right with their kids when actually they just got lucky. My first baby slept through the night at ten days old. I didn’t try to take credit for it, though. That was his decision, not ours.

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2015, 10:54:34 am »

Morreweg

Hi lindsay, I’m glad to hear you are feeling so good now after such
a short time, congratulation….keeping a positive attitude during this
process is surely important but unfortunately not always a magic
cure, wish you well. 

P.S. just in case things will change for you again…..keep in mind
Benzo-wd is unpredictable and don’t assume its a nother health issue.
hope it will never happen…just a little tip…….to be prepared. 

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2015, 03:40:07 pm »

lindsaylouwho

A note to all: This was not written for those of you suffering long term with real protracted withdrawal or point fingers or accuse. It was written for anyone coming into it new. I know many people on other support forums who don’t want to quit because they come here once and are completely alarmed by the long-term sufferers. I know this because I have to talk them off the ledge. Not everyone will suffer like that–the vast majority of those who quit and have short term wd (a fair number of people who quit, by the way) don’t stay on this board, or even come here in the first place, so their numbers are very underrepresented here, and this board can greatly overbalance the perception that all withdrawal will be a hellish nightmare lasting at least a year. If you don’t like seeing a story of optimism and hope that you could be a short term sufferer, you don’t need to read it. I’m here to give hope and optimism–and I do believe in Mind over Medicine and that the power of the mind can in some way help control the state of our bodies. You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want, but I won’t apologize for giving hope and setting a sense of optimism, which I believe can help some people.

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2015, 04:00:25 pm »

Morreweg

Love hearing a story of optimism thats why I congratulated you on it,
no harm in sharing some of my wisdom, if its not appreciated…..
i do apologize, no big deal ! 

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2015, 04:08:39 pm »

FinallyJoining63

Lindsey–if you looked at all my posts–not that you should–you would see that I am always quick to assure the fearful launching into this that they really needn’t plague themselves with fears that their healing will take forever because many people do heal quickly.

You should know though, that EVERYBODY reads the success stories for inspiration. Maybe the longtimers are the first to go there looking for something to hang onto. (That’s what I was doing.) Nobody’s asking you to apologize, but you should be aware of how your claim to have simply “refused to suffer longterm” would be taken by many. It’s not as if we ticked off a box marked “Sure, I’ll choose to suffer longterm if it means I can stick with my bad attitude.” I don’t disagree at all with the importance of the mind/body connection, but if you read a lot of the stories here, you’ll see that there are a lot of good people who also believe in this and still have a very hard time waiting out the time it seems to take for their neurotransmitters to repair themselves.

Morreweg’s post was very wise in gently reminding you that you might not actually have every withdrawal symptom in your rearview mirror yet. I think maybe she was feeling better than I was when she read your post and was able to be kinder. 

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2015, 04:21:32 pm »
Morreweg

FinallyJoining63 

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2015, 05:42:50 pm »

lindsaylouwho

As I said: It was not meant to condemn anyone. And my attitude about not being willing to suffer and doing everything possible to not do so was uniquely mine. You can take that as you will. It does seem almost as if you hope my suffering isn’t over, which is unfortunate. If you knew the hell and fear I’ve lived since I was hit by a drunk driver maybe you wouldn’t be so angry. I am not waiting for wd to reappear, nor do I think it will. Nor will I continue to debate this. I hope this post is inspirational to those who it was intended for. Over and out.

Re: 2.5 Months off--healed at 1 month off
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2015, 06:01:19 pm »

Morreweg

Quote from: lindsaylouwho on March 20, 2015, 05:42:50 pm
As I said: It was not meant to condemn anyone. And my attitude about not being willing to suffer and doing everything possible to not do so was uniquely mine. You can take that as you will. It does seem almost as if you hope my suffering isn’t over, which is unfortunate. If you knew the hell and fear I’ve lived since I was hit by a drunk driver maybe you wouldn’t be so angry. I am not waiting for wd to reappear, nor do I think it will. Nor will I continue to debate this. I hope this post is inspirational to those who it was intended for. Over and out.

Come on……whats your problem now. Nobody here is hoping your suffering
isn’t over. This is no Kindergarden , there is nothing wrong in having
a healthy debate about your miraculous recovery.

We plead not guilty and wish you all the best, over and out. 

Thousands of writhing pharma victims at Benzo Buddies waiting for cult savior Ashton to descend from the Heavens with the magic taper formula?

“ACCIDENTAL ADDICT”

Helping one another

10-year Klonopin heavy hitter begs for help, gets told to create a signature

newbie
« on: February 07, 2015, 12:05:48 am »

[Buddie]

hello, this is my first time joining this support group. I am taking 1 mg klonopin at bedtime about 4 times a week for sleep for about 10 years. I recently started having depression and gradually have been having brain fog and it is affecting my ability to work. I read about the Ashton Manual but don’t even know how to begin a taper since I take at bedtime and 4 times a week. Looking for some suggestions as to what to do.

Re: newbie
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2015, 12:10:38 am »

[Buddie]

Hi […], welcome to the forum.

Glad you’ve found this forum for help with Klonopin withdrawal. We have a number of members here who are familiar with Klonopin and can help you plan a taper. I think I’ll refer you directly to Klonopin Support since they’re going to most helpful with a situation like taking it four times a week rather than daily.

You mentioned the Ashton Manual… here’s a link to the online version.

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand you history so they will be better able to support you.

Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

Take care,
[…]

[Unsure what idiot moderator told this poor person to waste their time reading the Ashton Manual but to refer them to the Klonopin Support page, when all that is is a gaggle of professional victims blaming Big Pharma, and their psychiatrists, for drug addiction, is downright criminal. – Editor]

Tales of Big Pharma: Woman 25 months off drugs claims she can’t enter Starbucks without falling over, psychiatric survivor forced to use walking poles

  • 0:25 – Too much drama in the cult
  • 1:25 – Detect a little resentment toward people who can function normally and have not been totally sucked in by the Oprah-style pity party
  • 3:17 – Knows a handful of people who can’t set foot in a public building (this is called agoraphobia and people suffering from it need medication to be able to function – it is not the product of a Big Pharma conspiracy)
  • 3:25 – She’s believes she will get a seizure in public places (I am not a doctor but someone off medications for 25 months who has this sort of phobia might need the help of a professional i.e. a psychiatrist)
  • 3:41 – Language used in cult must be dogmatic, no dissension tolerated – positive comments only
  • 3:51 – Some in cult can barely lift their bodies out of bed (hope they have bedpans)
  • 4:10 – Admits she’s angry at people who are able to work through drug withdrawal
  • 4:35 – Starts talking like a kindergarten teacher: “Everyone must use proper language or no cookies at  nap time”
  • 4:39 – Big Pharma is oppressing us all
  • 5:02 – Apologizes for rambling
  • 5:11 – Explains her day: can’t leave the house on her own (likely agoraphobia, untreated because, you know, Big Pharma wants to kill all of us with benzos)
  • 5:59 – “My life is a Fun House without any fun.”
  • 6:38 – Big Pharma’s relentless assault has forced her to use hiking poles to walk around the block
  • 8:18 – Starbucks story starts
  • 8:47 – Has to sit on the floor in the shower, unable to stand
  • 8:55 – She can’t eat dinner with anyone but her mom and dad because of intrusive thoughts and “jolts”
  • 10:45 – Life is like a Sims game
  • 11:02 – She wants people in the cult to stop getting upset
  • 11:32 – “I’m sorry I rambled for nearly 12 minutes.”
  • 11:38 – 25 months off drugs and not doing well
  • 11:45 – Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate (Gaia), to all the psychiatric survivors out there
LUNATIC PARADE

Professional victims at Benzo Buddies toss pity party, want special treatment for abusing tranquilizers

When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« on: September 23, 2014, 04:58:48 pm »

Brain-Fog

I’m just curious as to when anxiety & depression get their own awareness media gimmick, as opposed to some organization that only affects 0.01% of the population.

Re: When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2014, 09:34:28 pm »

Diaz-Pam

We need a good publicist…..

Re: When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2014, 06:20:40 pm »

Luigithepug

Sadly, there has been and always will be a massive mental health stigma. There’s no ‘schizophrenia awareness’ because people are scared of it and don’t want to talk about it. Same thing with bipolar, anxiety, depression, etc. But physical illnesses, like ALS, will get attention.

Re: When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2014, 08:31:06 pm »

lookingforward

Quote from: Luigithepug on September 24, 2014, 06:20:40 pm
Sadly, there has been and always will be a massive mental health stigma. There’s no ‘schizophrenia awareness’ because people are scared of it and don’t want to talk about it. Same thing with bipolar, anxiety, depression, etc. But physical illnesses, like ALS, will get attention.

We have a lot of mental health awareness campaigns in the UK.

It is much less stigmatised than it used to be. Many media personalities suffer from depression and that helps a lot.

Soap opera storylines also help.

Physically disabled people used to be marginalised to a great extent and that has changed a lot.

Is the US really so bad?

LF

Re: When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2014, 08:36:08 pm »

Luigithepug

Quote from: lookingforward on September 24, 2014, 08:31:06 pm
Quote from: Luigithepug on September 24, 2014, 06:20:40 pm
Sadly, there has been and always will be a massive mental health stigma. There’s no ‘schizophrenia awareness’ because people are scared of it and don’t want to talk about it. Same thing with bipolar, anxiety, depression, etc. But physical illnesses, like ALS, will get attention.

We have a lot of mental health awareness campaigns in the UK.

It is much less stigmatised than it used to be. Many media personalities suffer from depression and that helps a lot.

Soap opera storylines also help.

Physically disabled people used to be marginalised to a great extent and that has changed a lot.

Is the US really so bad?

LF

I can only speak for my part of the country, but yes it’s pretty bad.

Re: When do we get OUR ice bucket challenge?
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2014, 08:42:13 pm »

lookingforward

Hi Luigi

That is very sad. 

I am sure things could be better here but we have made great strides in the right direction.

LF 

lislis

7 years of being scared to eat sugar

This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« on: September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm »

lislis

I have gotten better in so many unbelievable ways, however, I just can’t heal my GI. I have tried over and over and over, and I’ll get to a point that I’m pretty ok, but then I’ll eat something, and bloat again, and mental symptoms will try to come through. Then I’ll stop eating, except to survive and things will settle, then the whole circle starts over again. I knew if I was ever gong to heal that I had to address my GI issues, which I started in 2011. So for the past 3 years, I have tried everything. I can’t tolerate sugar at all, caffeine, dairy or gluten. I can eat some cheese, and ok with stupid meat and vegetables. This is torture and honestly, I don’t ever see it changing. I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

I am actually considering finally getting a scope done. I just hope I don’t add more torture, but perhaps I should. I had one 7 years ago, when the heaviness on my chest started, and since I cut out all sugar even fruit, the heaviness stays away for the most part. I know a lot of us have a scope, which doesn’t usually show anything, and I just didn’t want to go through the risk of anesthesia, plus I completely hate doctors and don’t trust a single one of them. And, lets add that no one is knowledgable to handle benzo damage, and I know I will loose my patience if one more doctor tells me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do believe though that I will concede and schedule a scope and go through all that fear, and perhaps have a reaction, but I just can’t stand this, year after year, I try to stay hopefull, but what the heck!

Sorry to rant and rave. Wish I had happier thoughts, perhaps another day. Has anyone gotten a handle on this GI crap?
« Last Edit: September 05, 2014, 10:40:25 pm by lislis »

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2014, 10:25:23 pm »

jaso19

Quote from: lislis on September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm
I have gotten better in so many unbelievable ways, however, I just can’t heal my GI. I have tried over and over and over, and I’ll get to a point that I’m pretty ok, but then I’ll eat something, and bloat again, and mental symptoms will try to come through. Then I’ll stop eating, except to survive and things will settle, then the whole circle starts over again. I knew if I was ever gong to heal that I had to address my GI issues, which I started in 2011. So for the past 3 years, I have tried everything. I can’t tolerate sugar at all, caffeine, dairy or gluten. I can eat some cheese, and ok with stupid meat and vegetables. This is torture and honestly, I don’t ever see it changing. I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

I am actually considering finally getting a scope done. I just hope I don’t add more torture, but perhaps I should. I had one 7 years ago, when the heaviness on my chest started, and since I cut out all sugar even fruit, the heaviness stays away for the most part. I know a lot of us have a scope, which doesn’t usually show anything, and I just didn’t want to go through the risk of anesthesia, plus I completely hate doctors and don’t a single one of them. And, lets add that no one is knowledgable to handle benzo damage, and I know I will loose my patience if one more doctor tells me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do believe though that I will concede and schedule a scope and go through all that fear, and perhaps have a reaction, but I just can’t stand this, year after year, I try to stay hopefull, but what the heck!

Sorry to rant and rave. Which I had happier thoughts, perhaps another day. Has anyone gotten a handle on this GI crap?

Hey girl Its been so long ..

Im so sorry to hear what your going through. I dont have GI issues and I know that must be so hard .. I just wanted to say hello and let you know Im hoping you get this figured out so soon.

~Jenny

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2014, 10:41:11 pm »

lislis

Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope you are doing well!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2014, 10:45:31 pm »

jenny21

Hi lislis– did the heaviness in your chest go away when you stopped eating sugar?? I have this sx , so any imput is appreciated. Sorry about your tummy troubles, I have them too and it is quite frustrating. Take care, jenny

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2014, 11:08:26 pm »

lislis

Hi Jenny, About a month after I started withdrawal I woke up with a heavy chest and it lasted for over 2 years. Sometimes I would have a break, but it was only when I noticed that I felt worse when I ate sugar and stopped eating sugar that the heaviness went away. After time passed I got cocky and tried some sugar and the heaviness came back. That was a great piece of the puzzle for me. Unfortunately I don’t learn and several other times I tried sugar again and the heaviness each time came back. The other problem was that each time I tried sugar again, I would crash and become more intolerant to more foods. I wish I would have realized that sugar was apparently my trigger. I’ve maid a mess of my GI not knowing how to care for myself. The Ashton Manual tells you that you may experience GI symptoms, but doesn’t at all tell you why this is happening and how to avoid making it worse!!!!

I wish you the best on your GI quest!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2014, 12:31:12 am »

prettydaisys

i don’t know if we have already talked about this or not but Geraldine Burns said that same exact thing that you did when she was over ten years out. that she would never heal unless she healed her GI issues. i know she has a lot of things/supplements/modalities that she did to heal her gut. have you spoken to her?

i have her email address if you would like to? maybe she can help. but she did say the exact same thing that you did at a longer time out.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2014, 12:59:55 am »

Clark

Quote from: lislis on September 05, 2014, 10:22:10 pm
I truly believe now that I will never be able to eat normal. Once these things are triggered, I don’t believe you can untrigger it.

This isn’t true. 2 things, actually. I’m a nutritionist and have worked with GI doctors throughout the world (Yeah, as an inpatient at a mental asylum – Editor) so I have a good knowledge base of this.

1) it’s pretty well known now that eating ketogenic (high fat, low carb) Is the healthiest way to eat. Paleo style. If this was everyone’s normal and not the horrendous diet that most people eat we would be healthier as a whole.

2) It takes 1 year to heal your gut from food sensitivities and allergies, be it acquired or genetic. This means 1 year of not even the slightest amount of that thing, that’s why most people fail at recovering from food sensitivities. Once you acquire an allergy it means that your body sees it as an intruder and the immune system attacks it- hence all the unpleasant symptoms that follow. Your immune system designates white blood cells for that particular nutrient that will attack every time it is detected. Now, if you go one year without taking in ANY of it, your body will recycle those white blood cells and hopefully the allergy, or immune reaction, will be gone.

Lets use dairy for instance. Say you go 9 months without 1 gram of dairy at all and your feeling much better. Then, one day you eat a small piece of cheese, or a soup with some cream in the broth. You may have just started your year all over again because you re-activated those white blood cells.

Its difficult to do, but avoiding these things will make you healthier anyway and if you can stick it out for that whole year you should be able to recover from that sensitivity.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2014, 11:29:38 am »

lislis

Thank you guys! I totally agree about avoiding symptom causing foods. I need to practice what I preach. You are right. I start to feel better and then get cocky and eat things. The first time I may have no reaction, so I eat more and more and then wham! Then there is always that underlying part that there is something wrong that I am just blaming on OCD.

I appreciate all of your help guys! I believe I had Geraldine’s email, but if you could provide it again, that would be great!

Take care!

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2014, 02:08:32 pm »

Caddo

I woke up today feeling like I drank a twelve pack last night, barely able to function, which is how I feel three or four times a week. This is what food intolerances do to me, and I also don’t think it will ever stop. I’ve had very little improvement in this bw symptom since it began, so it’s hard to see why it ever would stop. I can’t even do low carb because I’m hypoglycemic, plus I don’t tolerate the added fat that is needed to replace carbs. I don’t tolerate any supplements at all, so no probiotics, herbs, or vitamins. Fermented foods are also out. Last summer I stumbled upon something that was helping me a ton, and allowing me to eat many more things, but eventually I became intolerant to that as well. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s hard to have any hope when it’s so obvious that I will be dealing with this for many more years, if not forever. Sometimes I wish I could hurry up and die, because I can’t have a life. I read that gelatin can be good for healing the digestive system, so I’m going to try that, although I’m sure I won’t tolerate it either. Besides, I think this has more to do with my nervous system, but what do I have to lose. If that doesn’t work I will probably try to fast, but with my hypoglycemia I doubt I’ll get very far.

Re: This month will be 7 years from when my torture began
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2014, 02:15:32 pm »

lislis

Caddo, very well stated and believe when I say, I am so sorry, because I know exactly what you are feeling. You made a great point that we try things and then become intolerant to the new stuff. I am exactly the same way. I used to get bad hypoglycemic feelings, but I haven’t for a long time, except for this past week, which I believe came from trying fermented foods. I bought gelatin on Amazon, but was too afraid to try it, and I threw it away. I am going to try to make bone broth now, which will have natural gelatin. Let’s see how that goes! I eat a lot of raw garlic I guess to help fungus, and if I have bacteria overgrowth and maybe because I can, lol. I have a small food list. I wonder if this will ever work itself out. But I also agree, I fear I have many years ahead of me in this unless, well you know.

I pray for you too. Let me know if you found a cure, and I’ll do the same . . . . . aaaahhhhh!