Fear of Going Home
« on: May 08, 2019, 09:36:08 pm »
I’m having a really hard time wanting to go home after work. I feel anger toward my family and have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these things for so long that I’ve formed an aversion to my home. Don’t know what to do at this point. Never thought this would happen at nearly 14 months off. Does anybody have this? Does this sound like benzo withdrawal at all? I may have to quit my job and move at this point.
Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2019, 10:01:47 pm »
Yeah, I think you begin to associate all this horror with your home, and family, and job, and everything around you, and you feel like getting away from it all. I used to hate being at home. I’d just get in the car and drive around the mountains for the whole day. Anything to get away. Of course, if you have a lot of anger, you might not want to go driving around. Might turn into road rage. But maybe some long walks might help.
Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2019, 12:32:14 am »
You might have some other psychological issues (LOL – editor). This is not a criticism but your posts suggest it and your benzo doses were never very high. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help you deal with these negative thought patterns. Quitting your job and moving wont change a thing in my opinion. Best of luck.
Re: Fear of Going Home
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2019, 02:05:35 am »
Been seeing a therapist since July. I started seeing a second therapist in April too. Nothing has helped.
All I know is that when I quit benzos the second time I didn’t sleep for a full month and it felt like I was going into states of psychosis. I had suicidal ideation up to about a year off. That has eased off and it’s morphed into this fear of going home and fear and anger around other people, particularly my family.
Re: 18 - 30 Month Plus Group
« Reply #7315 on: December 07, 2017, 11:19:21 pm »
[…] and […],
I’ve never experienced pain like I did when my new mattress was “off-gassing.” Farts I can handle. Farts 💨 that blow me into the next room can only come from Satan’s butthole. This pain from hell made me absolutely immobile screaming in bed unable to move a millimeter. On another thread I started, a couple of a$$holes chimed in saying how just picking up a golf ball is hard to do when you get old. Gee, thanks Yoda for being so understanding and compassionate.
You know where I’d like to shove his golf ball.
Well, I clearly understand the WITHDRAWAL pain you are all feeling. It is not of this world. It is flying screeching monkey pain. No wonder most people never come off these pills. At least they’re half zombified in pain, unlike us who are fully aware of every nook and cranny that’s being zapped and stabbed and stretched and yanked as we are disemboweled. Oh yes, I know how you feel.
« on: September 11, 2017, 10:23:00 am »
I have this constant rage or anger where I just want to start screaming or punching walls. It lasts almost all day. I have zero patience with anything/anyone. Can anyone relate/validate this for me? When did it subside for you? I have a 2 year old daughter and I get so frustrated way to easily.
I need reassurance
Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2017, 10:30:00 am »
deep massage in the liver
it went away with time for me
Re: Extreme Rage/Anger
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 03:05:03 pm »
I’ve been having this on and off during my taper. It is very hard to not actually get very angry at something for me. I think the longest it lasted was two weeks but it seems to keep coming and going for me.
Is the System evil or ignorant?
« on: September 01, 2017, 10:44:05 pm »
Is anyone else ANGRY at the doctor who turned you into a drug addict? I submit that most doctors ignorantly believe if patients take their meds as prescribed, there won’t be any issues. Here’s the problem: Your brain doesn’t give a flying f%@$ about US law or what your doctor thinks. All it knows is that it’s regularly been influenced by a powerful psychoactive and it wants more. We’re every bit as much an addict as anyone else, and our addiction can actually kill if you just stop taking it. It also creates the longest and most horrific withdrawal known to man. (I’ve confirmed this with heroin addicts, alcoholics, meth addicts, anyone who has been through a withdrawal). Heroin addicts feel sorry for me! No one is taking responsibility for ruining lives by the million in the name of the almighty dollar.
Pharmaceutical companies send hot girls to doctors offices to persuade them to hand out their drugs. Wtf?! Our society is so brainwashed by the DSM-V, thinking about which acronym fits them because life sucks sometimes for everyone but there has to be something wrong with you. ADHD, OCD, PTSD, GAD, MDD…choose a f@$!ing acronym so you can become a lifetime customer.
We’ve all gone through he’ll because our doctor’s either didn’t know or didn’t care what they were doing. Our society gives so much reverence to doctors…we trust them implicitly because they went to med school. My doctor literally opened Web MD when prescribing my klonopin. They’re not f@$&ING special, they’re human beings just like anyone. They are succeptible to greed and the powers that be are so god damned cocky they don’t even attempt to hide the fact that the people we trust with our health are being bribed by drug companies. Doctors who prescribe things they don’t understand have betrayed the public trust and should be dealt with accordingly. They’re drug dealers…in every sense of the word. We have a war on drugs that imprisons people for smoking a plant while the system were supposed to trust is getting us hooked on the drugs they can profit from.
Anyone who has suffered as I have suffered must surely feel the same injustice. I got out of the military after serving honorably for 6 years…I told my doctor I didn’t feel quite right. Then I was a drug addict. Klonopin took everything in my life. I barely survived it….and that piece of shit probably did the same thing to someone today.
No one should ever go through what I’ve been through. Helping people who are suffering with hope and advise is great, but shouldn’t we be doing something to stop the system that put us here? The average person has no idea what a benzo is…if they tell their doctor they’ve been anxious lately, chances are they’re gonna join our ranks. How do we save those people?
Using the word addiction to describe benzo injury blames the patients inherently. So easy to say dependent.
For those who feel they did suffer with both — then just write both, and explain what they both mean.
Not complicated. Every time you lean on addiction incorrectly or singularly it’s making it look like abuse and compulsion are the reason we got sick. Not helpful and completely infuriating at this point.
When you’re sitting on the floor in your parents’ living room, reflecting on the years wasted addicted to drugs, and struggling to swallow your fucking dinner because the nerves in your body are so fucked up you get somewhat testy.
If you’re a doctor and don’t acknowledge the fact that psych drugs and pharmaceuticals can completely destroy your nervous system
- you should be fucking ashamed
- fired and charged with malpractice
Merry Christmas ??