41 months off, but utterly destroyed by cult brainwashing, not benzos

Vaccine Pfizer during PAWS anyone? And little update about how I am doing
« on: April 29, 2021, 10:52:00 am »

[Buddie]

So it is time to decide. I have got a date to get Pfizers vaccine against covid. I wonder if anyone here have got it and how did it made the effect on paws ?
If it got worse or nothing happend?

I guess stress and fear and a lot of anxiety around the vaccine and side effect, effect on a messed up PAWS body and brain can rev up symptoms?

I am doing better than last year in april and much much better than in april 2019. But still a few sxs that wont leave me. My neuropathy and electric feelings thru body and dr dp ( and all what that include weird vision or sound etc) is still there 24/7 but I am so used to it dont know what normal is anymore. And I have this crazy on off OCD things. Stupid thoughts or fears about everything. This questions about things always start with:
WHAT IF….
-I go crazy
-say something stupid
-jump infront of a car
-push a stranger infront of a car
– say i wanna divorce
-act weird
-go out naked
-hurt someone
-hurt myself
-drive my car into a line of ppl
Etc…this can repeat over and over
Its better but still very hard to face every day

Tomorrow I am 41 months off. Thats a long time.
But I see improvment. I have start to drive my car again. Today I drove out on the mainroad all by myself and drove to buy eggs and pasta in the supermarket. And I was shaking so nervous but I did it. Last time was 2016!
I walk 1 hour every morning not easy I am dizzy and very fatigued shaking and buzzing all the time inside me . I have lost 16 kilo and my blood pressure is awesome 102/62 and heartrate around 65 it was 140!
But when will this last remaining symptoms stop?
I try to stay positive but it is hard so hard.

My brain tumor wont be removed it its to dangerours to remove it.
The side effects from surgery is bigger than leave it there. It will now be watched every 2 years with MRI and hearing tests. The last MRI in march didnt show any progress. My neurologist said I will lose my hearing in left side but will it be today? Tomorrow? Or in 25 years?

This was a […] update and a question about covid vaccine effect…
« Last Edit: April 29, 2021, 11:39:15 am by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies members brainwashed into give up coffee

Coffee
« on: February 09, 2019, 04:02:16 pm »

[Buddie]

I had stopped when I began withdrawal but Valium is kicking my but a bit It is tolerable on workdays since my job requires me to move around and that seems to help. But at home on weekends and trying to be productive in front of a computer, not social media mind you, I am borderline hopeless. Drinking a cup as I write this

Re: Coffee
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2019, 05:03:44 pm »

[Buddie]

How long have you been drinking coffee?

I often feel the same way because my bp pills cause such a “downer” effect that I want something to get me motivated to start the day. I just bought some decaf but have had regular coffee when I do have it. Been having more of it lately, which kind of scares me.

I know it’s a very slippery slope because my nerves aren’t healed yet, and I’ve had a terrible problem with anxiety. Coffee is always on my mind, though, and instead of being an alcoholic and looking in bars, I’m walking by cafes and wishing I could drink all the coffee I want. And there are many cafes where I live, so it’s a constant battle. I used to love coffee. I still love it, but it’s always been a double-edged sword in the benzo mess.

Health emergency: Starving Benzo Buddies member cries out for help after site brainwashes him into fearing ALL food

dont understand, 1 cup of decaff green tea has made me so nauseas.? Anyone
« on: January 22, 2019, 04:38:20 pm »

[Buddie]

My anxiety is so off the wall I can’t function at all. I am trying my very best, but needed something to calm and tried a cup of decaf green tea. Yes it calmed slightly but I feel so very sick now, and I need to be able to eat as I am skin and bone.
Has this happened to anyone else. I am scared of everything now, including food, in case it makes things worse. Even my go to bananas it seems have too much sugar. What can I eat, I don’t know I really am at the end of what I can take. Truly I am
Can’t have bread or grains glutamate reaction can’t have dairy, can’t have fruit, can’t have cruciferous veg, what can I have?
I am in a terrible mess, I want to live please I know you have helped me many times , but can you help me through this fear and panic, and learn how to trust food because I am starving to death, and scared. .I don’t know where to turn but to my friends here. I can’t make a smoothy as I am not in control of the kitchen and too scared to do much anyway.
What is happening to me?

MSG is like garlic to vampires for brainwashed Benzo Buddies members

MSG affecting sleep?
« on: September 10, 2018, 09:38:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Does anyone find that consuming MSG have an effect on how you feel or how you sleep? Anyone found a diet that helps you feel the most stable? Thank you

Re: MSG affecting sleep?
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2018, 01:08:10 am »

[Buddie]

I was really sensitive to MSG and I could tell whenever I injested some. Especially when it was the type added to food vs natural MSG. Now it doesn’t bother me at all. I can eat anything I want.

Benzo Buddies cult brainwashes member into fearing everything

Phobic of everything?
« on: April 25, 2018, 05:37:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I seem to have become phobic of the world.

It is the touch and sound of things.

I can’t bear it.

Every time my dose wears off it gets worse.

I know when I get back to zero it will be constant again.

Does anyone else have this.

When it’s everthing how to get around it?

Public health emergency: Benzo Buddies members unable to eat normal food due to cult brainwashing, lives at risk

Hell breaks loose after first meal
« on: March 04, 2018, 04:02:43 pm »

[Buddie]

It doesn’t matter what I eat although I try to just stick to healthy fats and proteins. I don’t have any sugar, carbs or anything unnatural in the mornings. The minute after I take a bite of food in the morning is when my head pressure, dizziness and blurred vision come on. The hell usually lasts all day after my first bite of food but sometimes gets better towards the evening. The only break I get is for two or three hours in the mornings.

Anyone else?

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2018, 04:44:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Same here. Still happening 20 months out.

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2018, 04:44:47 pm »

[Buddie]

What symptoms do you get?

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2018, 09:34:13 am »

[Buddie]

Exactly that made the psych diagnose me with “anxiety and panic disorder”.

Newsflash, it’s called DYSAUTONOMIA!

Thanks doc. for the misdiagnosis and putting me on this poison, and completely destroying my life.
I told every doctor about it, it didn’t matter matter what i ate, i felt sick, became extremely anxious and had to spend the whole day in bed.

NEVER blindly trust a doctor, do your own research too.

Cult screwball tries GABA supplement, flips out, begs Ashton’s forgiveness

word of caution
« on: March 07, 2018, 08:23:12 pm »

[Buddie]

please do not move this post to the supplement section as I think it’s something everyone needs to see

i am going to be taking a break from BB for a little while due to lots of travel but wanted to post something – i am 9 months out now and had been doing amazing – then – in a frustrated moment with sleep – i decided to try – literally – a 1/2 capsule of GABA – i had used it years ago before z drugs, i had carefully carefully avoided all GABA impacting things until then – well – for 72 hours – i went back into acute – severe severe withdrawal – absolutely terrifying – no sleep in those 72 hours – my heart rate that had been back in the 60s went back to 100 – severe muscle pain, constant chemical induced panic – not anxiety – panic. so – for those of you who have been dabbling with GABA supplements thinking they will ease the burden of withdrawal – this experience showed me that – it is indeed true what the ashton manual says– that anything acting on GABA really isnt helping you but delaying or preventing healing…… withdrawal is horrible – and its just something you have to get through – i really believe that anything acting on GABA is going to hinder or prevent healing – so carefully research what you take – things like holy basil, ashwagandha, relora, passionflower, CBD – they all hit the GABA receptors. if you find you aren’t getting better – this may be why.

thankfully after 72 hours everything went back to normal and i learned a very valuable lesson. i suspect alcohol would have this same effect so will continue to abstain for a good long while – not worth the terror of what i went through in those 72 hours wondering if i had totally reset the clock back to zero… looking forward to my vacation in the sun and then lots of work travel – i am grateful to have reclaimed my life and will never risk my recovery again. I accept sleep will be up and down a while longer!