Will I Ever Want to Go Home Again?
« on: September 03, 2019, 11:33:50 pm »
I know I’ve spoken with a few people on this forum about this. This has been going on with me for about a year now. I don’t like going home at all. I get no joy from being in my own house. I feel mad at my family. I have no hobbies I want to pursue when I’m here. I can’t nap lately. It’s like the moment I’m gone for a while and then have to come back, I dread it. And when I’m here, I just feel mad and miserable. It doesn’t really matter if I’m home alone or not. I don’t know how many others deal with this. Being at home used to be the place I was most comfortable.
How am I supposed to survive
« on: July 24, 2019, 10:41:05 pm »
I’ve reached my breaking point. How am I supposed to survive this if I am scared of my own thoughts in general. I’ve had racing, ruminating, looping/earworms, obsessive intrusive thoughts and memories for 8 months straight. Distraction doesn’t work I’ve tried everything. My attention won’t detach from my thoughts.
I am only getting worse as time goes on.
I don’t really know how to survive this.
Can anyone honestly say they have or had mental symtoms this bad.
I’m about to go to the psych ward and have them pump me with whatever. At this point I dont care.
Re: How am I supposed to survive
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2019, 10:54:20 pm »
Korny, get a grip here.
You are NOT the only one who has truly bad symptoms. I sure did. I went CT off Klonapin 6 mgs and Ambien 10 mgs and 2 SSRIS. Holy hell ensued. That first entire year I was certifiably insane. I had such bad symptoms that I did not sleep for an entire year. The only reason I did not reinstate was because I was SO paranoid of doctors I could not bring myself to see one. Thank GOD I didn’t.
Here is what you might try. Find a nice soft place to sit. And do slow deep “belly breathing.” This technique DOES work to calm such severe anxiety. I spent MONTHS doing this.
When I tell you my wd symptoms were just as bad and maybe even worse, I am NOT lying. Korny: The first couple months I was hallucinating with all five of my senses. I saw things. I heard things. I tasted and smell things…that were not real. At one point I hallucinated a nurse hiding behind my old table fan. She and I had a very real conversation. I remember it quite well. She was quite real to me back then.
I sat on my sofa and rocked back and forth, doing deep breathing and trying to get through just another minute of this torture. This was not easy to do .I also had extreme FEAR and anxiety and was having panic attacks frequently. I also had numerous physical symptoms, too many to list.
Korny, if you are feeling completely out of control go to the nearest ER. But if you can hold on a bit longer, please do. We all want you to succeed.
HELP PLESEE PLEASE PLEASE AKATHISIA
« on: January 26, 2019, 10:27:38 pm »
Internal external all of it. Pure HELL mental HELL WANT TO DIE NOW HOW DO YOU COPE NEED TO TALK TO SOEMOEN ASAP PLEASE VERY VERY VERY SUICIDAL NOT GOING MAKE IT PLESSE PLEASE HELP
Can't do anything
« on: August 15, 2018, 06:21:16 pm »
Did quite a bit of housework today and then had a big panic attack. As if my body was telling me to rest. So the panic attack was prolonged and it has left me exhausted and I’ve had to come to bed. Now everything is too much. I have no energy to read a book or magazine and the noise from the tv downstairs is really bugging me.
So I’m lying here doing nothing but I have a nagging voice inside me telling me that I should be doing something or I will never get better. Is it normal to have absolutely no energy at all? Thanks.
Re: Can't do anything
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2018, 06:43:39 pm »
I have no energy at all on pretty much a daily basis. If your body is telling you to rest than please rest. It can only help , not hurt. you are not being lazy. In fact resting when your body wants to is a way to help heal in my opinion.
I have so little energy that its scary. Also extreme muscle weakness. From where I was at before fitness wise this is a total nightmare and a joke at how little I can do. I guess this happens in Benzo withdrawal. For me it was bone crushing fatigue and then weakness. Its been going on about 14 weeks for me.
Try not to worry, I know its hard. This is withdrawal and it will eventually pass.
« on: August 04, 2018, 10:30:24 pm »
All comments welcome on this monster most of us know as benso belly. Will it ever leave? Bloating,burning,gas,nausea and pain. What did I forget? Two months to go on this taper if all goes well. Will this monster leave or what?
Re: Benso belly
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2018, 01:18:54 am »
My experience. I CT’d and months later I was great for about 4 months then BAM, stomach pain, bad. Personally I think this time Im going to do a ton of probiotics, stay away from other drugs, less stress and more interaction with people and better non GMO diet. I did suffer from upper GI years before and I am a light smoker so that may have been my issue too. When I had this after the Benzos nothing seemed to help except,…benzos. Good for about 6 months after I reinstated. I was that bad that I did it again like an idiot but I had no insurance and was doubled over ALL day pacing back and forth by myself for weeks. Another hell. Tests showed nothing and I could not afford a scope. Best of luck to you and I hope you find better answers than from me.
awake 3 days straight
« on: June 05, 2018, 10:13:09 am »
Re: Psilocybin and MDMA (Psychedelic Drugs) for Psychiatric Disorders
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2018, 03:53:57 pm »
I microdose pretty much daily. I was so afraid at first and the first month but it has proven well worth it as I have been practicing having this in my life for 3 months now. It helps me with concentration, staying present, organising sentences, facing obstacles and fears, processing emotion, handling emotion and so much more. I also experience less pain through withdrawal as psylocibin allows my energy to flow through my chakras as opposed to getting stuck and causing unneeded stress. I am 17 months into protracted and I give a lot of credit to my shroomy fungi friends. Every morning and night I also drink at least 1 to 2 grams of lions mane mushroom in my tea or steeped in hot water. The fibers are known to help our nerves grow along with a bunch more benefits. . This is just my journey