Father goes on bender as horrific cult abuse story of parents doing drugs in front of kids surfaces

Reintroduce myself after two years
« on: February 24, 2019, 01:48:49 pm »

[Buddie]

First of all I’m sorry for the run on sentence….I wasn’t completely sure where to post this but I need some kind of answers, I struggled for months after a cold turkey wd but eventually the sky opened and I was fine and back to my normal self besides benzos I would have an occasional drink but I was never a hard drinker and I started smoking marijuana regularly again, last week we had a run in with cps and I had to quit smoking bc my wife’s therapist told them we smoked in front of our children which wasn’t true we smoked in the garage whenever our son was awake anyway I turned to liquor for that week of not smoking I probably drank a bottle of crown a few beers and a bottle of wine or two then during the weekend I went to a ski resort with the guys from work and I drank HARD harder than ever I remember ordering a whole bottle of wine at one of the dinners needless to say I haven’t been feeling great and the symptoms are mimicking my ct withdraw slightly less in every way but I’m still in agony in and out of the dr and hospital most of this week just for them to say blood work and ekg are fine just high bp is the only thing they can see which leads me to my question did this onset some alcohol/ protracted benzo withdrawals or am I dying?? I’m so scared and feel like poo

Benzo Buddies tells mentally ill drug addict NOT to go to the psych ward

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 12:35:31 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 19, 2019, 07:19:22 pm
Hope you are holding up, […]. Things hit the fan here because all my cuts caught up with me in a really bad way, so I can definitely sympathize with what you are going through. I’m in a holding pattern because this has become too much to bear.

I hope you are doing ok. Sometimes life can be dealt with only 1 minute at a time.

I’ve also had an attempt in 2016, so I understand all too well. Stabilizing is the most important thing now. I am not tapering any further until these extreme thoughts subside a bit for me. It’s too much to bear for me at the moment, so that’s why I am holding.

Oh no! I hope you stabilize soon Lfree!!! It really is an awful feeling having those thoughts and I think the dp/Dr makes them somehow feel easier to accomplish (at least for me) like there were no consequences.
I had a bad day today, restarted an old drug for pain/ sleep and even though I was only off it for 2 weeks I think it’s hitting me hard. Migraine most of the day, just wanted to sleep and just felt unwell. But it’s also that ‘special’ monthly time AND I tried vaping CBD oil last night…so many things at play right now, we also had a snow storm (which flares my fibromyalgia)

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #23 on: February 17, 2019, 04:58:09 pm »

[Buddie]

NO, don’t do inpatient, I did that twice and they poly drugged me to death. was so scary locked up with crazy people and an evil shrink. taper slow, u can do it

Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward...
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2019, 05:06:56 am »

[Buddie]

[…], I hope you’ve been able to avoid the psych ward. It’s the absolute worst place for anyone in psych drug withdrawal as the people there have no clue what is wrong with you and only heap on more poisonous drugs. I’m so sorry for your suffering. Stay home regardless of how bad it gets….that’s the safest place to be, unless you are truly and actually in the process of trying to take your own life.

Health emergency: Starving Benzo Buddies member cries out for help after site brainwashes him into fearing ALL food

dont understand, 1 cup of decaff green tea has made me so nauseas.? Anyone
« on: January 22, 2019, 04:38:20 pm »

[Buddie]

My anxiety is so off the wall I can’t function at all. I am trying my very best, but needed something to calm and tried a cup of decaf green tea. Yes it calmed slightly but I feel so very sick now, and I need to be able to eat as I am skin and bone.
Has this happened to anyone else. I am scared of everything now, including food, in case it makes things worse. Even my go to bananas it seems have too much sugar. What can I eat, I don’t know I really am at the end of what I can take. Truly I am
Can’t have bread or grains glutamate reaction can’t have dairy, can’t have fruit, can’t have cruciferous veg, what can I have?
I am in a terrible mess, I want to live please I know you have helped me many times , but can you help me through this fear and panic, and learn how to trust food because I am starving to death, and scared. .I don’t know where to turn but to my friends here. I can’t make a smoothy as I am not in control of the kitchen and too scared to do much anyway.
What is happening to me?

Would you want your child taught by someone addicted to Klonopin (who is also in a cult)?

Worried About Taking Time Off Work
« on: January 08, 2019, 04:33:42 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey all. I know I have complained about my job many times on this forum. It is my job as a high school teacher that had me on Klonopin for many years, and it is my job that made me want to go back on the poison January 2018 for 2 1/2 months. Those 2 1/2 months led me to this hell I am in now nearly ten months later.

I am going to take some time off work starting January 21st at the end of the semester. At first, I was excited about it and felt a slight sense of relief, but as the time draws closer, I am getting worried about having too much downtime. I am mostly suffering from depression with intrusive thoughts which has basically created a fear of being alone. For that reason, I will probably go live with my parents and making routine trips to visit my wife and daughter with a friend or my family. Just venting here. I will have to find things to do to keep my mind occupied at all times. I’m hoping the time off will at least lead to better sleep and more opportunities to exercise.

Mother worries about chattering son’s violent fantasies

Non stop chattering
« on: October 17, 2018, 04:07:20 pm »

[Buddie]

This is my son’s account. I am posting this for advice.

Forgetting all the backstory here is current problem:

He talks incessantly all day long about how he needs to die and other obsessive issues. He regularly threatens physical violence to us and himself. Before you suggest hospitalization, we’ve already been down that road a number of times.

Is there some sort of way to stop the talking and threats? And I don’t mean with a drug or a hospital. These are withdrawal symptoms. He has been off Ativan for 55 days now.

Doctor-hating Benzo Buddies member forces friend fighting cancer to not take life-saving medication

Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« on: June 13, 2018, 02:30:12 pm »

[Buddie]

Got a call from a good friend. He’s been fighting cancer for sometime now and is taking 8 different meds a day. The whole process is really starting to make him feel bad. Boy when his doctor heard that he wasted no time scratching out a double script for kolonapin and Zoloft. As if the poor guy ain’t got enough problems already to deal with. He called me and asked what poisons messed me all up and when I told him he fired both meds in the garbage. He never took any thank god. It makes me so angry that these doctors push this crap without a second thought. All he said is that he felt bad about his health situation and that statement earn him 2 poisons that would of destroyed him.

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2018, 02:32:14 pm »

[Buddie]

yup. 90% of the medical system is a money making scam. there is some limited good stuff, if you break a bone and those type of things. but staying away from chemicals is the key to good health.

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2018, 03:28:45 pm »

[Buddie]

my hat is off to you for saving your friend from futher agony. these doctors these days shell this poison out like candy. they should be held accountable for this. keep up the good work!

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2018, 03:55:57 pm »

[Buddie]

Good job. I had a friend recently also turn down ADs because she thought of me and my suffering, and then said, “No.”.

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2018, 03:57:54 pm »

[Buddie]

I think they use it as a gateway drug to get you on other meds $$$$$$$$ I will keep informing as many as I can for the rest of my life to help others not have to go through the hell we here on BB have and are. I did email a local tv station a while back about this benzo situation but I never heard anything from them. They seem to only want to run stories about pain meds. Benzos are 20 times worse. I’ll keep fighting.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2018, 04:33:46 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2018, 06:11:02 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 5 months out of C/T (uninformed) Klonopin. Horrible withdrawal experiences. I moved to a new town and got a new PCP. On my new history chart I wrote I was allergic to any and all antidepressants and benzos. The nurse reviewing my chart laughed when she read this. She said “You’re allergic…I can’t make it through the day without mine!” What kind of message is this sending out to us poor unsuspecting patients that unknowingly blindly trust these so called medical professionals?

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2018, 06:25:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I wish that my daughter would listen to me and take my wonderful grand daughter off the A.Ds and benzos that her Dr / Therapist prescribed. It breaks my heart that my clueless daughter would rather believe an unthinking and careless professional than her mother . By not listening to me she discounts all the evidence, knowledge and heartbreak that my recovery has brought to our family. I have given her access to all the information that is out there and nothing has helped change her mind. Gracie is seventeen and cannot make her own choices. All I can do is be there for her if the worst happens .

Re: Saved a buddy from a potential long agony.
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2018, 06:37:08 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 13, 2018, 06:25:55 pm
I wish that my daughter would listen to me and take my wonderful grand daughter off the A.Ds and benzos that her Dr / Therapist prescribed. It breaks my heart that my clueless daughter would rather believe an unthinking and careless professional than her mother . By not listening to me she discounts all the evidence, knowledge and heartbreak that my recovery has brought to our family. I have given her access to all the information that is out there and nothing has helped change her mind. Gracie is seventeen and cannot make her own choices. All I can do is be there for her if the worst happens .

Oh […], that would drive me nuts! :tickedoff: I get really mad when I hear about children being drugged. I definitely sympathize with you.