Cult members endure shameful diarrhea episodes in order to satisfy insane Benzo Buddies tapering demands

Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« on: March 07, 2018, 10:16:10 pm »


Starting on Sunday, the minute I feel any stress or anxiety diarrhea hits & im running for the bathroom. It was coupled with insomnia on Sunday night, but I was home. Today, I was at the mall, not cool.
Any suggestions? Anything I should avoid eating or should eat? I don’t have much of an appetite.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018, 11:12:18 pm »


This makes me not want to be here… censor my title and move my post.

This really is my worst side effect so far & wanted some input on anything that can help alive it.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 11:29:00 pm »


I believe that diarrhea is a common effect when you stop benzos completely, it happened to me but after a month or six weeks went away – and I have a very sensitive stomach anyway. Try eating a lot of white rice with your meals, and stay away from cake and other sweets for a while.

« Last Edit: March 08, 2018, 12:13:08 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 11:39:42 pm »


I’m sorry that you are going through this , but believe me you are not alone. When I am in a bad wave my colon acts up and sh-t happens:laugh: My worst moments were on a long drive from Northern C.A. to B.C. Canada. I had foolishly enjoyed Panda Express for lunch in Medford. It was a wild ride to the pit stop. What stops the crap dead in it’s tracks is over the counter immodium. I keep it for true emergencies and it seems to be O.K. as far as affecting withdrawal symptoms.

This stuff is unpleasant but like everything else it will get better.

Re: Almost (had a bathroom accident)
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2018, 12:55:48 am »


I had this too last summer and I jumped in June. I would get up 3-7 X a night to go poopy. I was losing weight because I had no appetite except for specific things and they would go right through me. My pants got baggy. I was scared.

By September/October this resolved and I got a healthy appetite back. Now I wish my pants were loose.


Public health emergency: Benzo Buddies members unable to eat normal food due to cult brainwashing, lives at risk

Hell breaks loose after first meal
« on: March 04, 2018, 04:02:43 pm »


It doesn’t matter what I eat although I try to just stick to healthy fats and proteins. I don’t have any sugar, carbs or anything unnatural in the mornings. The minute after I take a bite of food in the morning is when my head pressure, dizziness and blurred vision come on. The hell usually lasts all day after my first bite of food but sometimes gets better towards the evening. The only break I get is for two or three hours in the mornings.

Anyone else?

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2018, 04:44:47 pm »


Same here. Still happening 20 months out.

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2018, 04:44:47 pm »


What symptoms do you get?

Re: Hell breaks loose after first meal
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2018, 09:34:13 am »


Exactly that made the psych diagnose me with “anxiety and panic disorder”.

Newsflash, it’s called DYSAUTONOMIA!

Thanks doc. for the misdiagnosis and putting me on this poison, and completely destroying my life.
I told every doctor about it, it didn’t matter matter what i ate, i felt sick, became extremely anxious and had to spend the whole day in bed.

NEVER blindly trust a doctor, do your own research too.

Ashton worshippers replace benzo addiction with food addiction, pile on the pounds

Can't stop eating
« on: March 06, 2018, 12:17:44 pm »


My brain is telling me to every minute of every day.

It is not like hunger but a sort of panic stricken compulsion that I am unable to ignore. I can’t get any control over it.

I am gaining weight fast.

I don’t know what to do.

I have never experienced anything like it. I lost half my body weight a couple of years ago and don’t want to be fat again.

I think it is tied to my being completely unable to feel any senstion from inside my body including feeling full.

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018, 02:49:32 am »


I went through a similar phase. I ended up gaining a fair amount of weight which I then had to work back off. And like you, I had lost a bunch of weight (102 pounds) the year before I withdrew.

Maybe go for a nice long walk (without taking any food). Or make sure all the food around the house takes a good hour or more to prepare (no ready-to-eat foods or snacks laying around).

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 03:24:15 am »


I understand what you mean when you say you can’t feel sensations on the inside of your body.

For awhile I was so numb internally I wondered if my heart was still beating. I would have thoughts that would make meme panic mentally but I couldn’t feel any physical response. My body felt dead.

I wonder if your hunger signals are simply misfiring and miscommunicating too. Hunger (or lack thereof) is signalled by various hormones like leptin and ghrellin. I would say that amidst the chaos of benzo withdrawal, the signal to release those appropriately has been temporarily affected.

It could also be that your body is under a lot of stress and is working very hard so is interpreting the need for excess energy.

I would focus on physical exercise where you can. In terms of eating, all you can do right now is try make healthy balanced food choices. Think protein and fibre every meal to try keep your GI low. That should aid satiety and feelings of fullness. And then try and eat as frequently and as much as you know to be healthy for your body. If you logically know you’ve had enough, then perhaps try distraction (although I know how hard this is.

Overall, don’t beat yourself up. You can only do your best. Once you have recovered you can focus on the weight aspect if you still find that to be an issue


Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 07:49:49 am »


Don’t let the weight issue get out of hand. It’ll be hard to comeback later, no matter what they tell you. Eat healthy, and above all, exert control.

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2018, 12:56:41 pm »


You know I am going through something similar… the absence of internal sensations, an undiscript urge which feels like an urge to eat. It is confusing and harrowing… especially when you had already worked so hard to get back into shape!…

Do what you can. This is withdrawal… but don’t let go either. Don’t beat yourself up, is what I mean, and try to stay as healthy as you can – but know that this is not the way it will always be.

So I agree with not keeping snacks around, or if there are any, no more than what would feel like a decent portion, something “healthy”… nutrients which will help you function and heal.

Do you cook? Do you share meals with family? Try new recipes, take time to prepare and plate nicely… that could help you think of food differently…?

Brush your teeth after eating… you might feel less tempted to reach for the fridge again…

Plan your meals and snacks, that way you may be able to bargain with yourself…

Exercise and relaxation should also benefit you – especially if like me, you feel a weird “urge”. And any distraction, anything you enjoy…

Not sure whether that is advisable… I chew gum. Yes, full of yucky stuff but it helps with the “urge”… looking forward to being able to give that nasty habit up!!…

And tell yourself that you are healing. That things will get better… because they will. No matter what you believe right now!

Hugs  :smitten:
[…] xx

Re: Can't stop eating
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2018, 04:21:30 pm »


I am not able to exercise much due to ME/CFS.

I had managed to get my exercise up while tapering but I think I pushed itto much and have made ME/CFS worse as well as withdrawal stuff.

I am mainly housebound.

I can’t explain the eating thing – it does not feel like a normal craving. It feels qualitively different and related to the hypersalivation and neck/jaw tightness that makes my body feel like it is chewing all the time I am awake – like the signals are all messed up.

Also the feel and taste of food is all wrong in my mouth.

The lack of sensation applies to my sense of touch as well – my body feels like it is made of something inert like plastic and the world feels too insubstantial. I manage to forget about it sometimes and then I rub my face or something and the full horror of it returns.

I think I need to talk to the neurologist again.

Before withdrawl I had a very small appetite and ate a paleo style diet. I mainly had one meal a day.

Ashton disciple has mental breakdown after overindulging in bread

Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« on: February 20, 2018, 12:22:09 am »


I’ll admit, I may have overindulged on bread today, but I didn’t expect it to give me a mini breakdown complete with crying to my parents! Lorazepam really is the devil’s drug. Anyone else have this problem? Does it get better???

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2018, 02:23:53 am »


I am so sorry. You are probably going to have to stock up on the tissue paper, because I didn’t know what sobbing, weeping and bawling were until I started coming off Lorazepam. Goodness gracious, I have cried more in my life in the last 3 years, than I have in all of my life before. Just, these heavy sobbing episodes. On a plus side, I didn’t get a single cold because crying can actually flush the cold viruses out nicely.

And then, somewhere along the way, you’re going to find an artist like Matthew Ryan and start listening to him and sob along, relating to almost every darn lyric in there.

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2018, 03:10:46 am »


You may be much better off than me because you spent a lot less time on lorazepam than I did, and the crying may also be a temporary symptom from stopping Trintellix. Also, we all have different life circumstances, so the crying episodes may be much more short-lived for you. It’s just that I was surprised by all the crying I went through.

Re: Can’t Even Eat Bread?!?!?!
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2018, 03:19:49 am »


You never fail to make me feel better, and I will forever be in your debt. I’m going to do my best to take some positives from all this. For instance, my crying today helped me get to the bottom of what could prove to be a key issue in my overall recovery. It’s funny, feeling as if everything around me is either negative or out to get me has really pushed me towards finding the positive in things, which I never really did before.


Cult members salivate at prospect of forcing 74-year old mother into abusive taper regimen

Caring for aging parents before during and after withdrawal
« on: February 05, 2018, 02:22:22 pm »


My mother is sick. She is 74 and in tolerance withdrawal herself. Having survived this nighmare, I recognize so much of her struggles to be benzo related. Add to that her weakened and elderly state, and I just cant find the way out for her. Let alone navigate through the storm.

I wanted to share experiences, ideas and thoughts from anyone else who knows this journey!