I will say this. I got caught in the benzo world. My doctor 4 years ago prescribed Ativan for me daily. I didnt know what it was cause well, I didn’t. After a while it quit working and he upped the dose and I soon found myself “needing” more. After my doctor retired I found a new doctor who was shocked by the amount of Ativan I was on a day. When I explained how I felt he said quit frankly “you are addicted.” I thought I could quit just taking them. I overestimated that you couldn’t. So with my doctor’s help, I got clean. It took 9 months.
I stumbled across Benzo Buddies after googling “benzo online support groups.” OMG. Well, at first they are loving and supportive when you are a newbie. Then all hell breaks loose. That site is fear-driven. I would spend multiple hours a day (at the time I was a stay at home mom and helping care for my aging parents). I would support and post my own journey. Everything that happened i would attribute to withdrawal and I’m sorry to say I was one of the Kooks. One day, about 7 months into my doctor guided “healing” I broke down because I was having a bad day and I said I needed a break from my child. The responses I got were horrendous. One person even commented that I should do like them and put my child up for adoption cause I couldn’t heal and be a mother. It’s impossible.
That day I realized that the amount of time and kookiness on that site was not actually helping my mental state. My fascination was my downfall. So, I sat down, blocked the website from every device I could, and started making banana bread. I made some sort of bread everyday for the remainder of my “coming clean.”
It’s been almost 3 years now since I came off Ativan. Had I not listened to my doctor and had not used judgement to walk away from those idiots… I’d still be on them in fear.
F*ck sake. It might have bern easier if I just started baking as a distraction. I know my previous doctor meant no harm putting me on them. Probably should have paid attention more. But what counts today is that I’m “clean.” The only thing during that time is that I developed tinnitus that doesnt go away. But I’m all good! Stay away from Benzo Buddies. Listen to your doctor. And in like any situation, if you aren’t satisfied or unsure, get a second opinion. Don’t be me and get trapped in that “support group.”