Cult members waste years at Benzo Buddies, waiting for the Ashton miracle that never comes

Looking for my 2014/2015 buddies
« on: March 14, 2018, 06:55:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately as the symptoms drag on into year three. Losing hope for a miraculous turnaround, wondering if I should just learn to cope with the way things are, the new normal- you know the drill.

I used to post a lot on the working taperers group, the moms and dad’s cafe and the Ashton taper thread. I thought about posting there to see if anyone was still around, but decided to do this instead.

Sleepless in the Bay Area-
[…]

Re: Looking for my 2014/2015 buddies
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2018, 06:56:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi […]. I’m still hanging around. Get a bearable day once in a blue moon. What are your symptoms?

28 YEARS ON BENZOS, 28 YEARS (TO TAPER) OFF BENZOS

Twenty-eight years using daily temazapam
« on: January 03, 2018, 03:38:06 am »

[Buddie]

Although extensive blood tests are normal, I have an uncomfortable auto-immune skin disease on forearms and lower legs. A friend who successfully withdrew from benzo use said that skin problems can reflect long-term benzo use or pop up during withdrawal.

I have taken temazapam, 30 mg, nightly for 28 years. I am soon going to taper, sprinkling out some granules since I can’t imagine jumping down to 20mg, the next available dose. I really don’t know if my brain will accept a lesser dose.

My dream would be no longer using this dangerous drug. Right now, being free looks as formidable as climbing Mt. Everest.

Addict turns benzo taper into lifelong career

Feel like I completely screwed myself and now feel hopeless
« on: November 20, 2017, 10:07:02 pm »

[Buddie]

I can’t help but feel like my failed Valium crossover and then all of the one off updoses that I very stupidly took to help me sleep have completely screwed me up. I’ve never felt so physically sick or mentally off. It’s unbearable I’m bed ridden and absolutely overwhelmed with terror and irrational thoughts 24/7. I don’t know what to do anymore I think I kindled myself so badly. I just wanted relief. This is my history:

Last year I did a daily liquid microtaper from February until November. I would liquefy one of my .5 mg tablets in 100 mL’s of milk and take our 1.2 mL’s a day until it was gone. So I got down to 1.5 mg’s around November of last year when I was slammed with symptoms/side effects and after seeking advice I decided to updose to 2 and then ultimately reinstate back at 2.5. This did not stabilize me at all and I wish more than anything I had just held at 1.5. In May of this year I had a failed Valium crossover. I then went back to 2.5 and tried a dry cut going extremely slow and only got from 2.5 to 2.375 cutting at a little less than 5% but I felt so terrible that I again went back to 2.5 and actually tried going to 3 mg’s for six days to see if I could get relief and did not so I then went back to 2.5 which is where I am now and have been for a few months with occasional 5 mg Valium updoses mixed in.