“Benzo Buddies ruined my life”

How benzobuddies ruined my life, long proctated withdrawal 4 years off
« on: June 01, 2018, 06:12:39 pm »

[Buddie]

my last name here was pil54, in 2014 here i Registered after a fast taper of 7mg prazepam, i was just reinstated 4,5mg and it wasnt enought to stabilized me, i should have gone back to 7mg at least or even more for it to be effective, and restart a slow taper.

Back of that i was first on 20mg, i discovered the Ashton manual and was doing it even slower, reducing 5% every 2 weeks with barely no symptoms at all, all was very manageable, working full time job through it. For one year i tapered from 20mg to 7mg very easily, it wasnt the hell people describe here to taper at all, everyone here who describe hell tapering psych meds is just going too fast . Until i stupidly lost patience andtryed to accelerate and it went hell and i ended cold turkey 7mg

I can remember moderators here telling me ” You are paradoxical you just need to quit and let your brain heal, Accute only last 3 month then it will get better, everyone heal”, That sentence EVERYONE HEAL, you will read it all day by every people here, those all unknow people behind their screen can litteraly destroy all your life if you listen them advices.

Its what i did, and thats what they did, they ruined my whole life, I tapered those last 4,5mg in 3 month, reducing 0,5or 0,25mg every 8 days, and i went severly ill because i wasnt stable at all before tapering, they told me ” dont care accute last 3 month “

Am still in accute 4 yeas later, next month i will be 4 years off every benzo or psych meds, and i never recovered from the symptoms of my fast taper here in 2014,

I still have akathisia, i wake up Everyday in terror with electricity in my whole body, with surge of feeling loosing my mind like i have mania, severe insomnia, depersonnalization that never went away 4 years laters, during those years i developped pots syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome from the daily severe terror my body was experiencing.

They told me ” its normal if withdrawal for years, and i Believe them, i thought it was normal, IT WAS NOT, IT WAS ABSOLUTLY NOT.

Am now living with the crazy idea on my shoulder that i was better 4 years ago while i was doing my slow micro taper, than now 4 years off after my last dose after my failed tapers.

And it’s been the same for my old friends here who Registered in the same generation of me, Hurtbrain, Crazypants, benzommama, rackshka, all those people who tapered wrong and been told they would heal, they are now 4-5-6 years later never healed because of listening people here on that same forum.

That message is to warm the newbies here and all the people suffering to realy inform you before you do a fast taper and listen people here telling you that whatever the way you tapered you will heal, it’s false, its the worse shit every spammed here but its not reality,

Jennyfer Leigh, baylissa,ian singleton, una corbet, They all lie, they all say what you want to hear just to reassurance, but they have no idea how long a brain damage from a rapid taper can take to recover, for years they lied to me saying i would heal if i avoid alcohol and psych meds, I DID, and i never healed 4 years later.

My life is a living hell now because i regret Everyday the mistake i did to listen unknow people advice behind a screen, even my doctor told me to reinstate to my last dosage if i felt sick and retaper slower, it would have been the think to do, instead i trusted that forum

Please inform yourself, the best safe way to escape benzo hell is a micro taper of 5% every 2 weeks of your dosage

Cult screwball tries GABA supplement, flips out, begs Ashton’s forgiveness

word of caution
« on: March 07, 2018, 08:23:12 pm »

[Buddie]

please do not move this post to the supplement section as I think it’s something everyone needs to see

i am going to be taking a break from BB for a little while due to lots of travel but wanted to post something – i am 9 months out now and had been doing amazing – then – in a frustrated moment with sleep – i decided to try – literally – a 1/2 capsule of GABA – i had used it years ago before z drugs, i had carefully carefully avoided all GABA impacting things until then – well – for 72 hours – i went back into acute – severe severe withdrawal – absolutely terrifying – no sleep in those 72 hours – my heart rate that had been back in the 60s went back to 100 – severe muscle pain, constant chemical induced panic – not anxiety – panic. so – for those of you who have been dabbling with GABA supplements thinking they will ease the burden of withdrawal – this experience showed me that – it is indeed true what the ashton manual says– that anything acting on GABA really isnt helping you but delaying or preventing healing…… withdrawal is horrible – and its just something you have to get through – i really believe that anything acting on GABA is going to hinder or prevent healing – so carefully research what you take – things like holy basil, ashwagandha, relora, passionflower, CBD – they all hit the GABA receptors. if you find you aren’t getting better – this may be why.

thankfully after 72 hours everything went back to normal and i learned a very valuable lesson. i suspect alcohol would have this same effect so will continue to abstain for a good long while – not worth the terror of what i went through in those 72 hours wondering if i had totally reset the clock back to zero… looking forward to my vacation in the sun and then lots of work travel – i am grateful to have reclaimed my life and will never risk my recovery again. I accept sleep will be up and down a while longer!

Benzo Buddies member agonizes over whether or not a cup of French onion soup will drive her insane

Am I screwed
« on: March 02, 2018, 02:32:25 am »

[Buddie]

I went out to dinner with my fiance tonight and had a cup of French onion soup. Well I got home and started feeling almost normal like. I actually feel good. Vision is clear and my head is not pounding I feel almost myself well I was reading some recipes online and in homemade onion soup they use alcohol in it? Im really wondering if I screwed myself over and there was alcohol still in the soup now I don’t know what to think and I’m hoping I didn’t blow my whole recovery I seriously can’t take much more of this bullshit. What do you guys think?

Re: Am I screwed
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2018, 03:08:45 am »

[Buddie]

Why not call the restaurant and ask the chef if they used alcohol in the recipe? They probably don’t, unless they say so on the menu, but it won’t hurt to ask.

Re: Am I screwed
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2018, 03:14:50 am »

[Buddie]

Just said French onion soup and a price I just don’t get why I was feeling normal

Benzo Buddies = red meat to cyberchondriacs

Chickened out at the dentist
« on: January 17, 2018, 12:00:21 am »

[Buddie]

My back molar cracked in half. So I got a filling. Then an infection in the tooth. Took antibiotics for three weeks (caught strep at the same time this is why so long on antibiotics)
Then my tooth still hurts but I’ve read that a root canal can have negative effects on our body (not withdrawal or benzo related) do I opted for getting it taken out except my stomach has been hurting and I’ve had a hard time breathing and felt like headed that I started thinking maybe my h pylori is still there and now I have bad thoughts that I have a bleeding ulcer.
So now my thoughts are :
1. Bleeding ulcer
2. H pylori still present
3. Tooth infection causing light headbess, nerve pain, etc.

I feel like nothing I do is right
If I fix one thing
Something else goes wrong
I can’t take this
I’m so scared 😖

Anti-psychiatry gang at Benzo Buddies unable to help terrorized cop’s wife

In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« on: January 13, 2018, 05:35:39 am »

[Buddie]

He came home yelling at me. He’s a cop. He was in his uniform and he pulled out his gun, waived it around then stuck it to his head and then said he was going to blow his brains out. I threw myself off the other side of the bed to get away. I covered my head and screamed for help. He left. I’m in shock. I’m in the worst stages of withdrawal from an inhumane taper. I already have PTSD. I don’t know if I’m going to be alright. I am safe now. I just keep hoping I will wake up tomorrow and this will have been a nightmare.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2018, 05:38:08 am »

[Buddie]

This is not good, you need to get out— he is coming back and you are not safe. Get out now and call 911 please.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2018, 05:42:34 am »

[Buddie]

He came back and locked the gun up. I locked myself in the bathroom until it was locked up. He’s crying. Idk what to do. I’m in shock. It took a few hours for me to stop shaking enough to use my phone. My heart is hurting physically. A lot of pain. Huge migraine. Dear God someone please save me. My daughter is at a school function for the weekend. There’s one good thing.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2018, 05:44:45 am »

[Buddie]

Don’t let her come home. Have to believe in people outside of this situation, that they will believe you and help.

Moderators can help with this. I have notified them.

Hang in there and breathe slowly.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2018, 05:48:43 am »

[Buddie]

Please no one call the police. Please. There’s no point.They will believe him […] me like when he hurt me before. He would never admit to them the truth. He’s already said that. Just please be there for me on here. Please

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2018, 05:53:35 am »

[Buddie]

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2015/10/26/police-wife-the-secret-epidemic-of-police-domestic-violence/

DO NOT CALL POLICE

PLEASE SEE ARTICLE

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2018, 06:33:12 am »

[Buddie]

[…], has your husband seen what benzo withdrawal looks like in his line of duty? Does he understand what it’s like? Does he understand what’s going on? Does he suffer from depression?

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2018, 08:03:39 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on January 13, 2018, 05:48:43 am
Please no one call the police. Please. There’s no point.They will believe him […] me like when he hurt me before. He would never admit to them the truth. He’s already said that. Just please be there for me on here. Please

I personally think you need to admit that you, and your child, are going down a path that historically doesn’t improve on it’s own and doesn’t end well for anyone involved. There are avenues that exist, including recording the violent encounters, and seeking an order of protection through the courts, that can free you from your situation.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2018, 08:17:15 am »

[Buddie]

If a domestic situation escalate, I think that a voluntary inpatient stay would make a lot of sense. A temporary safety and an opportunity to see if meds need to be adjusted. It’s extremely difficult dealing with severe withdrawal, and such difficult domestic situation at the same time. Safety always comes first.

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2018, 04:43:13 pm »

[Buddie]

Are you okay?

Re: In withdrawal and husband just got his gun out
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2018, 06:10:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Do you have any parents or aunts or uncles or cousins or old friends places, that you and your child could go stay with? I really think you need to find a place to go to. I hope you are doing okay.