Suffering Benzo Buddies member regrets being brainwashed into stopping Valium

Re: What happened to Benzodiazepine Information Coalition?????
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2019, 10:56:08 pm »

[Buddie]

I think it is important to say that for some people it is not the right thing to get off of them

I should never have tried to stop diazepam which I was on the same low dose of for 20 years for muscle spasm from spinal injury and surgery.

WD is literally crushing my spine and I am now paradoxical to all meds.

I had no interdose WD or to,ere veg on the diazepam.

I know ppl in dystonia groups who only get relief from Clonazepam some of whom have been on it for 40 years without problems.

“Many, many people living long, productive and happy lives while being dependent upon and using benzos as prescribed”

Re: Watch "This is Life" With Lisa Ling
« Reply #96 on: September 29, 2019, 02:21:11 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on September 29, 2019, 01:53:48 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on September 29, 2019, 12:47:21 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on September 29, 2019, 12:40:35 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on September 29, 2019, 12:36:04 am
I’m curious: Does this piece with Lisa Ling address at all, people who live long, productive & happy lives while using long-term benzodiazepines as prescribed?

No it does not. That’s a different show.

Thanks for the quick response. Do you mean Lisa Ling will be doing a different show that reflects the lives of real people who are benzo dependent and continue living long, productive & happy lives? Or do you mean there is no show that you are aware of which reflects this reality that does exist? Thanks in advance.

I’m sure those people exist. Our aim is to let people know the risks, as they will not receive it in the doctors office and are being rapidly tapered. Many people doing well on benzodiazepines became harmed by trying or being forced to stop. And many don’t. This episode is a warning about the drug, not an ode to the drug. I’m unsure if such an ode exists.

You’ve answered my questions and for that I’m appreciative. I will resist the urge to question in detail any motive(s) in you choosing to use the word “ode” to describe the reality of many, many people living long, productive and happy lives while being dependent upon and using benzos as prescribed. I will continue to extend my best wishes.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2019, 02:27:07 am by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies member goes back on benzos after brutal Ashton taper fails and is doing great!

a lifetime of decisions, and a long weird path back towards reinstatement
« on: July 17, 2019, 06:37:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello,

I had initially kept this post to a handful of staff members, but was encouraged to feel free to make a more public post.

Put simply, I am back on benzodiazepines after an extended period off, and while I have deep reservations about this, after eight months it does not yet seem to have been a mistake.

Abbreviated backstory: I was on benzos for a number of years in late adolescence / early adulthood for anxiety based reasons. I had mild tinnitus at that time (possibly attributable to many things, including a distant history of childhood ear infections). Tapering was brutal and took me 14 months, and I wrapped that up sometime in 2005. I don’t recall tinnitus ever being a problem, except briefly during parts of the taper.

In 2010, an acoustic trauma did some significant damage to my auditory system, the tinnitus turned into a wailing monster, and I used benzos again for about a year before tapering again. I spent 2011-2015 basically miserable, highly functional but chronically consumed with the violent, often painful, extremely high pitched noise in my skull. I tried all kinds of things; if there is a supplement, drug, medical practice, massage practice, alternative medicine practice that someone on Google says helped their tinnitus, I probably tried it. I also tried doing “nothing”; I learned to meditate. I learned to sleep with earplugs in spite of the noise. I spent a lot of money; I spent $10,000 to be a lab rat in one clinical trial alone (lots of travel involved).

I remain hopeful about the tinnitus treatments that are in the pipeline, but a little voice continued to say “I need to do something now”, as my life sort of passed before my eyes. I achieved significant professional success. I was able to relocate out the city to a pristine, quiet area in 2016. This did all make me feel better in some ways, but still the noise.

In late 2015, unrelated medical circumstances forced me to consider short-term PRN use of Valium, and, of course, I discovered that it still “worked” as far as taking my mind off the tinnitus. From early 2016 until November of last year, I used Valium PRN; when the tinnitus would become absolutely intolerable, I would take enough to knock it way back (usually 10-20mg over 24-36hrs), and then try to not do that again for 3-4 weeks. I became a parent over this time period, and I realized that the times I was the most medicated were also the times I felt the most joy and connection with my child. By July of 2018, I was agonizing over the idea of reinstatement, but I wasn’t sure.

I made a list of every possible tinnitus remedy that seemed reasonably attested which had not yet been attempted. It was a pretty short list which included some out there ideas like “cervical chiropracty” and “microdose psilocyban”. None the less, I crossed these items off my list as I tried them. Finally, in late November of last year, well supported by a medical team (including a prescribing doctor who is deeply aware of the hazards of benzos and necessity of a slow withdrawal), I elected to resume daily benzo use. After 2 weeks at 25% of the dose I’d previously been on long term, things felt very bad; more or less, I felt like I was in withdrawal, and I almost aborted the experiment then and there. One of my medical team persuaded me to at least attempt my full prior dose for some period of time; I also elected to supplement it with gabapentin based on some research into the combination for tinnitus specifically (and the general observation that gabapentin is much less scary than benzos, so if it can be used to supplement a benzo dose and reduce benzo consumption, that’s probably a win).

More or less I had a one month “honeymoon” where life seemed too good to be true, and as expected, that faded as tolerance became obvious and peripheral side effects also vanished. However, what I am left with, so far, is a life which is much more manageable. It’s hard to put numbers on things, but the tinnitus is more distant, it’s generally less disturbing when it does get my attention, and I’ve been able to make significant progress in my family life, in my professional life, and in therapy, which had been blocked by the state of utter discomfort, misery and despair that my tinnitus had thrown me into. The general observation of my spouse is that I am easier to talk to, more likely to listen to them, less likely to snap, and more likely to be sympathetic and caring in general.

To make a few things clear:
This was my choice and I would not encourage anyone else to do the same thing. No one’s circumstances are identical. For all I know, my use of benzos during developmental years caused problems that couldn’t self-fix, and if not for that I might not be in this situation at all. Likewise, if I had taken better care of my ears, or had better genetics around hearing, tinnitus and anxiety, I might not be in this situation. But, that doesn’t matter: the way things are, is the way things are.

I do not know the long term results of this (and neither do you) – I waited more than six months before posting this because I wanted to be sure a beneficial effect that outweighed my reservations about benzo use, would persist for some period of time after obvious tolerance had set in. It’s entirely possible that this will “stop working” at some point, and I will be left with my generally terrifying tinnitus on top of having to do another taper. But, it’s also possible that won’t happen (one of my family members has taken Klonopin with no loss of efficiency for more than 15 years) – and it’s further possible that some of the tinnitus treatments which are currently in the experimental or early marketing phase will turn out to be extremely effective, at which point attempting another taper might seem very rational to me.

I agonized over this decision more than you can possibly imagine over a five year period; eight months in, it’s given me eight of the best months of the last 10 years of my life. I am happy to answer any reasonable questions, but I ask that you respect my right to autonomy and decision making over my own body.

Benzo addicts resentful of opiate addicts

My reaction to an opiod withdrawal video
« on: July 17, 2019, 09:52:19 pm »

[Buddie]

Just got finished watching a Ted talk by someone who had a rough time coming off of prescribed opiates.

He was on stage crying in the middle of his speech, and my first thought was “Cool story bro. Let me tell you about benzodiazepines”.

I know the opiod issue has a lot in common with the benzo issue and I’m not saying that opiod withdrawal isn’t awful or that we should look down on anyone who has had that experience, but it kind of bothers me that for years I have been dealing with something that most people claim is worse than opiod withdrawal, yet no one really wants to acknowledge that it is a problem.

Where is our Ted talk? At least everyone acknowledges the opiod issue and they are taking some steps to correct it, benzos are barely part of the prescription drug conversation.

Re: My reaction to an opiod withdrawal video
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2019, 12:39:49 am »

[Buddie]

Where is our Ted talk?

Excellent question, […]! I’ve been wondering the same thing. Maybe since it’s not readily accepted quite yet that these drugs have been part of a “silent epidemic,” there’s fear in coming forward? Something is holding people back from full public acknowledgment and disclosure. I would certainly like that to end NOW.

I’d be a poor public speaker with horrible stage fright. But to have someone take that step of giving a TED talk would be a breath of fresh air!

Dr. Edward Jenner, medical pioneer

Read more: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1129452513076363265.html

Random cult comments from Facebook

Neomycin Polymyxin B ear drops have destroyed my life

I ate a ton of junk food in December and my symptoms got much worse
Today the kitchen is cleaned of junk food and I’m eating clean again

I have not left this house in over two years now
One try around the block that was it

My brain is burning me like hot chili pepper like fire

Keep fighting warrior

Make sure there is NO ADDED FLUORIDE
Most psychiatric drugs contain high amounts of fluoride
This calcifies the pineal gland and impairs cognitive functioning