Benzo Buddies cult hero Parker goes back on benzos, panic ensues

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2020, 03:39:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I think there is still a lot of confusion for BB members. Parker posted that she reinstated and this was placed in the Success Stories?? I know success stories have to be approved by admin. This is very confusing.

Reinstatements do happen but have been posted in an appropriate section. This was upsetting to say the least for many members. A brief explanation would be appreciated. Success stories are the only hope many people cling to. What happened here?

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2020, 06:28:27 pm »

[Buddie]

I wish her well too.

But this just goes to show that not everyone who suddenly disappears from the forum goes on to heal. I’ve always wondered why someone as active, influential and devoted to the forum and people on here as Parker would suddenly disappear without telling ANYONE why she left, What happened, etc. If you look back at Parker’s posts before she “disappeared” she was literally posting multiple posts a day. For someone to just up and leave without coming back at all, something must have happened or they reinstated. People kept telling folks on here “well healed people don’t hang out on this forum anymore they move on with their lives”. That certainly isn’t the case here, and provably many other cases out there.

I’m glad she came back and told us. It’s a little odd she posted In the success story section, but at least now we know what happened.

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2020, 07:16:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh, so that is why I couldn’t find it. Thought was going mad….
I am glad she is ok.
If I could reinstate and stay on I would.
I should have done that in December 2017 when tried and it still worked before damaged was caused to muscles and joints instead of listening to ppl on here saying not to and drugs are bad etc.
They were the right thing for me.
Now can’t take anything and body literally crushing itself.

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2020, 07:29:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Well the truth here is that she did not go on to heal. That’s what I mean by people on here making assumptions about people leaving and healing. False reassurance.

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2020, 01:23:52 am »

[Buddie]

It’s just completely bizarre to me that someone who KNOWS how horrific Wd is and how long the suffering is would willingly put the poison in their body again. I’d die before I physically put another pill in my mouth. It’s different if the wd wasn’t as bad or long, but Parker was on here for like 7 years..

It’s like someone who almost died of peanut allergies would risk eating it again.

Re: Parker new post?
« Reply #27 on: July 24, 2020, 10:19:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t think Parker healed and then went on drugs after. She was 32 months off and still bad.

BENZO BELLY’S BACK!

Benzo belly
« on: June 25, 2020, 09:57:08 am »

[Buddie]

Hello ,
What are the best tips to manage benzo belly,
Should i eat more fiber from foods or propiotics are recommended? I know it differs for everyone but i would like to hear some tips.

Kooks terrified of balsamic vinegar

Lorazepam and balsamic vinegar
« on: May 16, 2020, 12:05:32 am »

[Buddie]

Hi this might be a dumb question but I try to stay away from any sort of alcohol because of my lorazepam use and being scared to mix it with any alcohol. Does anyone know if it’s ok
To eat? I’m getting confusing information if balsamic vinegar has any alcohol in it or not.

Benzo Buddies maniacs want to deny dying people anti-anxiety medication

anti-anxiety medication is palliative care for corona-virus
« on: April 16, 2020, 07:31:32 pm »

[Buddie]

Per this article,
https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/04/14/coronavirus-why-everyone-needs-to-talk-about-advanced-directives/

quote”
This could mean a COVID-19 patient is left with a difficult decision: Would you prefer palliative care or life-support? Palliative care for coronavirus typically involves an oxygen mask, morphine and anti-anxiety medication to ease breathing.

Life support, on the other hand, can include a feeding tube, dialysis, transfusions and mechanical ventilation, a grueling experience that requires heavy sedation.”

All options seems pretty bad. I wonder how one can say no to anti-anxiety medication (which I believe in benzos only)

Lunatics at Benzo Buddies tell member with compromised immune system from leukemia (therefore at risk of dying from COVID-19) to keep tapering

Need to stop tapering..need advice
« on: March 21, 2020, 04:08:50 pm »

[Buddie]

I have decided that I am no longer going to able to tolerate the side effects of withdrawl. My leukemia has relapsed out of remission and I cant fight both battles at once. I tried to wean, got really sick and had to updose. My questions
1 I am 60 years old. Has the damage already been done? Is my brain fubar?
2 Will I really feel better when I can kick my 4 mg Xanax habit?
3 Is it worth all the suffering that comes when you taper?
I don’t want my last years on earth to be filled with Xanax side effects. I started on .5mg 30 years ago. Here I am at 4 mgs after 4 months of trying. Is there a kinder,more gentle way to come off this?
Havent given up the fight, just have hit the pause button. Thanks for your replies. I am so worried about everything. This coronavirus has me trapped in the house since I have a compromised immune system and if I catch this virus it could kill me..

Re: Need to stop tapering..need advice
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2020, 05:09:23 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much at once. Everyone’s burdens feel so much more intense with the coronavirus fears right now.

You might consider tiny cuts every week or two just to keep the downward trajectory going if you want to work towards eventually getting off Xanax. At 4mg daily, a cut of .0625mg every few weeks might be tolerable.

Ultimately, you must do whatever you feel is best. We support whatever your decision is.

:smitten:

Re: Need to stop tapering..need advice
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2020, 10:46:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi Star

Your brain isn’t fubar. You’re withdrawing. 4 months is great success in getting down 1 mg! That’’s equivalent to .125 each month. It’s ok that it takes time. Imagine, if you keep going, in 12 months you could be down even more 🙂. That said, you are in charge of your healing, your taper. It’s fine to rest awhile at a dose. I think try not to count time. Count success. In my opinion, it is worth it (dying? – editor).

Re: Need to stop tapering..need advice
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2020, 02:43:16 pm »

[Buddie]

I would deal with the leukemia first. That is priority. My advice is not to updose and stay at the mg you are on until you are ready. As for your healing process with Xanax I wouldn’t give up all hope. I think when you continue after you are cancer free you should go super super superrr slow. I have a family member who also is tapering but does so In a very slow way. They cut and hold for months at a time so they can maintain their lives. I am almost at a year off and my life is way better than it has been in terms of symptoms. They still exist but I have quality of life most of the time. Don’t give up. And manage what is most important right now which is getting healthy and the leukemia back into remission. You are doing your part to manage the Xanax by not updosing and staying at a consistent dose. Don’t take this all on at once. Take it a day at a time. I wish you the best of luck.

Re: Need to stop tapering..need advice
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2020, 07:07:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I felt I needed to updose then hold about 18 months ago when my teenage son became very ill. So I am only down in dose .25 mg of K from my 1 mg, which I was on for quite a while (but have been on/off K for 20+ years, never had any trouble stopping previously).

I have NO REGRETS. There are times in life that are very, very hard and I could no longer torture myself trying to get off the drug. We all have to figure out our own path. I do not feel like I have any side effects from the medication other than weight I cannot get rid of, but that is something I can accept. I was having 24/7 nausea, very bad anxiety and insomnia while tapering, and in reality I missed many of my son’s health issues early as I was too focused on tapering.

Holiday horror stories pile up as Benzo Buddies members realize Ashton tapers have destroyed their lives

What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »

Ptsdmiracle

In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.

So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.

It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.

For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.

You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.

If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.

What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?

You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.

You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.

I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.

When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.

Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.

When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.

If you’re four years off benzos and get hit with a wave your problem was not benzos, it was Benzo Buddies

52 months out - a wave from hell
« on: December 17, 2019, 03:19:26 am »

[Buddie]

I just got hit by a strong wave and it’s wreaking havoc. The anxiety is bearable but the nerve pain and muscle spasms are horrendous. Therefore sleep is minimal and poor.

At 52 months out I would think I am close to the finish line but it seems otherwise.

Any feedback is much appreciated.

Ps . Today considered making an appointment with a psychiatrist to may be get amitryptalin for the nerve pain but held off. If this wave continues much longer I may have to do just that

Thanks
« Last Edit: December 17, 2019, 03:40:06 am by [Buddie] »