Klonopin for 10 days, Benzo Buddies for life

Re: HELP!! Do I need to taper?
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2019, 07:04:41 pm »

RKO

Not trying to scare you but I was only on Klonopin for 10 days and my doctor wouldn’t allow me to do an Ashton taper because I was only on for such a short time.

I was hooked by day 7, unknowingly, when I took half a dose one night and woke up with heart palps. Damn pills nearly killed me when I quit after a rapid taper that was basically a CT.

It’s been over 15 months and I’m nowhere near healed.

I’ve come to realize, however, that I am in the extreme minority. You’ll probably be fine though.

Paxil: 2000-2007
2/08: Adverse reaction to 9 days of Saw Palmetto extract for hair loss (PFS)
Klonopin: .25mg PRN 2/08-7/08
Prozac: 11/08-3/09

Drug free for 9+ years, life was great

4/19: Severe ear infection, temporarily deaf, tinnitus – rx Augmentin

4/26-5/1: Steroid taper pack

4/26-5/5: Rx Klonopin .5mg nightly by ENT for insomnia/tinnitus (heart palps on Day 7 with .25mg, dependent in a week?!)
5/6: Cut to .25 mg (cut 1mg tabs into quarters) – BAD symptoms. Run to GP for help
5/10: Cut to .125mg (per GP advice) – even worse symptoms, bad advice from doc
5/13: Jumped. WAY TOO SOON. HELL. Should’ve reinstated, basically CT. Didn’t have sufficient supply, GP wouldn’t prescribe more. Wrongly assumed short use would be short WD

Radiophobia: Benzo Buddies member 4mom’s x-ray panic

Re: Can an X-ray cause sxs? I’m getting one tomorrow?
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2019, 05:26:08 pm »

4mom

My system is super sensitized by lex taper, had severe reactions to almost everything in the universe, magnesium, all meds, supplements, msg, aspartame, I passed out for 15 minutes after a mri for my back. I was not anxious or scared I swear. It’s the strong magnets.

Even that insanely sensitive, I didn’t have reaction to xray

Television (and books) forbidden for Ashton cultists

Fear over Books and Television
« on: August 04, 2019, 11:16:50 pm »

[Buddie]

Does anyone become filled with anxiety when you try to watch television or read a book?

I use to love both, but now I can’t handle more than a few seconds of either. It makes it so so so hard to fill the day.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2019, 12:48:27 am »

[Buddie]

Yes.

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am »

[Buddie]

YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Re: Fear over Books and Television
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2019, 01:25:23 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 05, 2019, 12:53:29 am
YES. I actually stopped watching TV during WD. The violence, the negativity, just became way too much for me. I did not watch TV for several years because of this. I already had enough dark and negative thoughts in my mind. Did not need to add to that. Believe it or not I only resumed watching some TV a few months ago. And you know what? Seven years of NOT watching TV was truly a GOOD thing, a nice thing. I had to find other ways to pass the time.
[…]

Same for me. Stopped watching TV completely. Cut back my online reading to only a couple local news and weather reports. Can’t handle the stress. I get too worked up. I am getting better, though. I was much worse a few years ago. So maybe I’ll be able to get back to where I was, though I’m not sure I want to. TV is all propaganda or pornography, and often both, mixed together into one tempting toxic brew. Who needs that?

Big Pharma blamed for Benzo Buddies member’s scary trip to the zoo

Setback from walking too much?
« on: August 05, 2019, 06:54:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Went to the zoo with my son and my family in law yesterday and walked so much. Now today my whole body is aching and burning from head to toe and I’m so scared. Has this happened to anyone? Everything burns worse than fire and the pain is so deep across my back, arms, legs, everywhere. Trying hard not to cry at work. This will go away right?

Bad news for Benzo Buddies: “Professor Ashton does not support or endorse any Internet support group”

https://www.benzo.org.uk/profash.htm

Jelly legs worse than benzo belly?

Alright, this is not just jelly legs
« on: July 26, 2019, 09:22:11 pm »

[Buddie]

So I am between 2-3 months out of C/t rapid detox (had some overlap of drugs they gave in hospital)
As awful as it gets with a host of symptoms, but my most profound physical symptoms is beyond jelly legs.
My legs started out where I couldn’t lift them or walk at all, and they began contracting nonstop, the clenthcing was very large and you could totally see it happening….they did this for 6 weeks straight without EVER stopping even if I slept, which most of time I didn’t. They then started calming down a bit and have settled into a constant movement of muscles and twitching (both surface and deep)
They have still never stopped. When I walk (can walk from room to room and stand in shower) they just start getting worse.
So here I am, cannot walk on them to make them stronger and they cannot ever rest to heal. Because even when resting them….they are moving. It is an unbelievable, impossible situation.
Anyone relate?
Btw…I am a mom and was a competitive athlete until the last 10 months of all these meds. Not being active is hindering my recovery, and we all know that these drugs have destroyed life as we know it. But not being able to use my legs…is stopping me from everything

Benzo Buddies members drink booze, snort ketamine to deal with failed benzo tapers

Alcohol setback
« on: July 20, 2019, 06:21:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Drank some beer about two weeks ago, and a few hours later I started to feel this weird electric feeling in my chest and my sleep got way worse. Over the next few days I started having all sorts of weird physical sensations. It felt like electricity was surging through my body, my skin was burning, and I had this weird electric butterflies in my stomach type feeling. Horrible anxiety set in, I started to feel like I was losing my mind, and my sleep got worse and worse. The anxiety has faded pretty much entirely and I’m having less of the weird bodily sensations, but my sleep SUCKS now. I’m getting 1-2 hours a night. I was doing so much better before I drank. I felt like I was finally turning a big corner. I was mostly getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night, sometimes a bit more, without taking anything to help me sleep.

I’m 13.5 months off, and am pretty concerned about this lack of sleep. It’s like I’m back to where I was at the start of my withdrawal with sleep.
Anybody else experienced something similar?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2019, 07:41:32 pm »

[Buddie]

I am sure one of the mods or admins will move it soon. How much beer did you drink?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2019, 07:51:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Only one tall glass of beer. This is crazy.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2019, 08:38:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm
Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

I’ll move this over to the Post Withdrawal Support Board! :thumbsup:

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2019, 08:42:41 pm »

[Buddie]

Drinking alcoholic beverages tends to be a highly charged topic here. For some, perhaps many people, drinking can cause a return of withdrawal symptoms. Others may be able to tolerate it fine.

I’ll just share my personal experience. I am not a big drinker, just a glass of wine on occasion and a mixed drink even less often. However, I did not drink anything, not one sip, until I was completely healed. Even then, I didn’t have a drink right away, it took some time.

I’ve been recovered for many years now and do enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink at times with no ill effects. Everyone is different in this regard. Personally, I would not rush into beer again if you had a negative reaction.

[…] 🙂

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2019, 09:20:51 pm »

[Buddie]

I had one small glass of wine after many weeks of feeling better. I then had many weeks of feeling worse! And it happened pretty immediately. No more alcohol for me.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2019, 01:09:30 am »

[Buddie]

Two beers set me back for a month. Still not where I was prior to the beers. Im alcohol free for the foreseeable future.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2019, 01:14:23 am »

[Buddie]

I experimented with drinking wine a year off my taper. First 1/4 glass, then 1/2 glass, then a whole glass. 3 oz. No problems. So now I drink a glass of wine a couple of times a week.

But everyone is different. How alcohol will affect us is a crap shoot imo. I would definitely wait awhile before trying beer again. And then maybe a small glass.

Hope your sleep improves.

[…]

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am »

[Buddie]

4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2019, 10:53:20 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am
4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

I think you should stop snorting Ketamine.

Benzo Buddies member goes back on benzos after brutal Ashton taper fails and is doing great!

a lifetime of decisions, and a long weird path back towards reinstatement
« on: July 17, 2019, 06:37:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello,

I had initially kept this post to a handful of staff members, but was encouraged to feel free to make a more public post.

Put simply, I am back on benzodiazepines after an extended period off, and while I have deep reservations about this, after eight months it does not yet seem to have been a mistake.

Abbreviated backstory: I was on benzos for a number of years in late adolescence / early adulthood for anxiety based reasons. I had mild tinnitus at that time (possibly attributable to many things, including a distant history of childhood ear infections). Tapering was brutal and took me 14 months, and I wrapped that up sometime in 2005. I don’t recall tinnitus ever being a problem, except briefly during parts of the taper.

In 2010, an acoustic trauma did some significant damage to my auditory system, the tinnitus turned into a wailing monster, and I used benzos again for about a year before tapering again. I spent 2011-2015 basically miserable, highly functional but chronically consumed with the violent, often painful, extremely high pitched noise in my skull. I tried all kinds of things; if there is a supplement, drug, medical practice, massage practice, alternative medicine practice that someone on Google says helped their tinnitus, I probably tried it. I also tried doing “nothing”; I learned to meditate. I learned to sleep with earplugs in spite of the noise. I spent a lot of money; I spent $10,000 to be a lab rat in one clinical trial alone (lots of travel involved).

I remain hopeful about the tinnitus treatments that are in the pipeline, but a little voice continued to say “I need to do something now”, as my life sort of passed before my eyes. I achieved significant professional success. I was able to relocate out the city to a pristine, quiet area in 2016. This did all make me feel better in some ways, but still the noise.

In late 2015, unrelated medical circumstances forced me to consider short-term PRN use of Valium, and, of course, I discovered that it still “worked” as far as taking my mind off the tinnitus. From early 2016 until November of last year, I used Valium PRN; when the tinnitus would become absolutely intolerable, I would take enough to knock it way back (usually 10-20mg over 24-36hrs), and then try to not do that again for 3-4 weeks. I became a parent over this time period, and I realized that the times I was the most medicated were also the times I felt the most joy and connection with my child. By July of 2018, I was agonizing over the idea of reinstatement, but I wasn’t sure.

I made a list of every possible tinnitus remedy that seemed reasonably attested which had not yet been attempted. It was a pretty short list which included some out there ideas like “cervical chiropracty” and “microdose psilocyban”. None the less, I crossed these items off my list as I tried them. Finally, in late November of last year, well supported by a medical team (including a prescribing doctor who is deeply aware of the hazards of benzos and necessity of a slow withdrawal), I elected to resume daily benzo use. After 2 weeks at 25% of the dose I’d previously been on long term, things felt very bad; more or less, I felt like I was in withdrawal, and I almost aborted the experiment then and there. One of my medical team persuaded me to at least attempt my full prior dose for some period of time; I also elected to supplement it with gabapentin based on some research into the combination for tinnitus specifically (and the general observation that gabapentin is much less scary than benzos, so if it can be used to supplement a benzo dose and reduce benzo consumption, that’s probably a win).

More or less I had a one month “honeymoon” where life seemed too good to be true, and as expected, that faded as tolerance became obvious and peripheral side effects also vanished. However, what I am left with, so far, is a life which is much more manageable. It’s hard to put numbers on things, but the tinnitus is more distant, it’s generally less disturbing when it does get my attention, and I’ve been able to make significant progress in my family life, in my professional life, and in therapy, which had been blocked by the state of utter discomfort, misery and despair that my tinnitus had thrown me into. The general observation of my spouse is that I am easier to talk to, more likely to listen to them, less likely to snap, and more likely to be sympathetic and caring in general.

To make a few things clear:
This was my choice and I would not encourage anyone else to do the same thing. No one’s circumstances are identical. For all I know, my use of benzos during developmental years caused problems that couldn’t self-fix, and if not for that I might not be in this situation at all. Likewise, if I had taken better care of my ears, or had better genetics around hearing, tinnitus and anxiety, I might not be in this situation. But, that doesn’t matter: the way things are, is the way things are.

I do not know the long term results of this (and neither do you) – I waited more than six months before posting this because I wanted to be sure a beneficial effect that outweighed my reservations about benzo use, would persist for some period of time after obvious tolerance had set in. It’s entirely possible that this will “stop working” at some point, and I will be left with my generally terrifying tinnitus on top of having to do another taper. But, it’s also possible that won’t happen (one of my family members has taken Klonopin with no loss of efficiency for more than 15 years) – and it’s further possible that some of the tinnitus treatments which are currently in the experimental or early marketing phase will turn out to be extremely effective, at which point attempting another taper might seem very rational to me.

I agonized over this decision more than you can possibly imagine over a five year period; eight months in, it’s given me eight of the best months of the last 10 years of my life. I am happy to answer any reasonable questions, but I ask that you respect my right to autonomy and decision making over my own body.

Kook loses his shit after eating piece of steak

meat
« on: May 18, 2019, 08:03:14 pm »

[Buddie]

Uh. Im confused. I just ate a piece of steak. Nothing else. And im in a wave 5 minutes later. Does red meat cause glutamate storm or whats the deal? I bet its got antibiotics or msg in it.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2019, 08:16:11 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: meat
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2019, 12:36:55 pm »

[Buddie]

Red meat has been a serious issue for me, too. I was diagnosed with Lyme and other parasites.

Interesting article.
https://mosaicscience.com/story/mammalian-meat-allergy-alpha-gal-allergic-lone-star-tick-bite/

Re: meat
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2019, 08:59:25 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 19, 2019, 12:36:55 pm
Red meat has been a serious issue for me, too. I was diagnosed with Lyme and other parasites.

Interesting article.
https://mosaicscience.com/story/mammalian-meat-allergy-alpha-gal-allergic-lone-star-tick-bite/
kinda scary, these type of things.. I have a pretty bad tick history from several angles… 🙁
The pictures of meat in the adds looked slightly yummy, so I wont stress on it…
I must have heard of this here in Aust at some point, as it rang a dull bell..

Thanks…

Hey Cres, 🙂

Sorry, not very relavant I guess, but I often get dropped from some “reaction” after a “meal”… Size is a factor, from a small burger upwards… Meat is a factor, or say, deep fried…
-Stomache pain, deliberate breathing, sweats/fever, chills, tight numb/chewy burning up neck jaw and face..
I just have to lay down and it passes in a bit… -Sorry, I dont know why I get this…

Is there a pattern, or is this out of the blue..??

Ain’t no love in the heart of the city: Girlfriend dumps addict for man who isn’t tapering Klonopin for 1000 years

Dumped during taper
« on: April 10, 2019, 12:33:03 am »

[Buddie]

Just lost one of the key players in my support network. She said, “I can’t do this for another 6 months, year, however long it’ll be before you’re better. I love you, I want you to get better, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. But I just can’t do this anymore. I have to let go. I have to live my life”

This was 2 weeks ago. I tried to remain her friend, but she couldn’t help but rub her new relationship in my face. When I’d finally had enough and blocked her number, and on social media, she got pissy and finally left me alone. It’s strange how the ones we love the most can end up being the most toxic. Prior to this she would always be at my bedside. Checking in on me every day. Assuring me I’d get through this and that I’m strong for having made it this far.

I found myself up-dosing. I messed up. I let her hurt me even more. I’m trying to get back down to 0.5mg Klon per day, but the nights without her are much harder. Maybe I shouldn’t have been dating in this state. She tapered off klon a long time ago, I thought she’d be more understanding.

If anyone’s suffered a blow like this during taper, any advice would be appreciated.
(I know, “Try not to think about her, occupy your mind with other things.” I got that much, I’m trying.)

Benzo Buddies terrifies members into believing they have a disease that doesn’t exist

How Long can the Benzo Flu Last? Years?
« on: April 13, 2019, 02:56:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi everyone. I jumped two months ago from diazepam after a long withdrawal taper while in tolerance. I have had every symptom possible. The two symptoms that have never let up while in tolerance or through the taper and after jumping are benzo-flu symptoms and muscle pain throughout my abdominal region which an ultrasound showed nothing.

I’ve been mostly house bound for 3 years fighting this. The benzo-flu use to be 3-4 days a week but since jumping it is 24/7 with no breaks. Nothing helps this and my head feels like it will explode. Just achy, hot, nauseous and anxious. I just want to know that there is an end to this and that I am not the only one.

Has anyone else struggled this long with benzo-flu symptoms? I haven’t read of anyone having it like this. It seems they may have it for a few days one month here and there. This is constant for me. Anyone?

Re: How Long can the Benzo Flu Last? Years?
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2019, 04:17:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Yep. Its constant for me.

Re: How Long can the Benzo Flu Last? Years?
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2019, 04:25:23 pm »

[Buddie]

[…], so sorry for you too. How long has this been going on for you? It is really taking a toll on me.

Re: How Long can the Benzo Flu Last? Years?
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2019, 04:33:49 pm »

[Buddie]

NO your not the only one. I had it on and off during all of my long taper, just continually getting worse and more frequent
until it was 24/7 at about 3 months after jumping. It’s very discouraging & scary when it just keeps getting worse even after stopping the drug.
But after 3 months it reversed and very gradually started getting better until that particular group of symptoms is all but gone now.
My mind is just completely boggled at what I’ve been through and how sick I’ve been the past couple years.
So hopefully yours will start getting better now real soon. At 2 months your very early.

Re: How Long can the Benzo Flu Last? Years?
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2019, 04:39:34 pm »

[Buddie]

[…], thank you so much for replying and I hate that you went through that. I am just crying now out of some relief. I really was thinking that I was alone. Like you, it was bad before but since jumping it never lets up. I’ve suffered through this for 3 years. It is unbelievable the torture. I hope your health just continually gets better by leaps and bounds.

Benzo Buddies member’s photo revealed: devoted to brutal micro-taper, addict eats by attaching food to fan and having it blow into her mouth