Elderly mom forging Xanax prescriptions, obtaining endless supply illegally

Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« on: July 19, 2017, 01:21:44 am »

[Buddie]

About 2 years ago my mom’s whole personality changed. Her OCD symptoms got much worse, she says incredibly rude things she NEVER would’ve said before & her memory has gone down the toilet. Her routines & rituals are set in stone & she won’t deviate from them. She leaves the stove on 2x per month on average now. She started taking Xanax (1mg-2mg per week on average) around the same time her personality changed. The worst memory lapses–such as leaving the stove on & forgetting basic words–always happen the day after she takes her Xanax dose. She’s also excessively tired the day after taking Xanax. Worst of all, she denies any change in her personality & gets defensive even talking about it.

Could using Xanax one night per week be sufficient to affect someone’s mood, cognition & anxiety levels to this degree? She’s had a CT scan of her brain at my insistence to see if there was any sign of previous strokes or other issues, and it came back relatively normal. (Some age-related shrinkage & atherosclerosis). The doctor did not seem concerned about it, though it was an ear/nose/throat doctor rather than a neurologist. She’s 65 w/ no family history of Alzheimer’s but at moderate risk for stroke. She’s lost a good bit of vision & hearing due to age, so it’s hard to tell whether she’s doing things like leaving the stove on because of those impairments or something more sinister.

I’m not asking anyone to definitively diagnose her here; just wanted to see if anyone’s experienced this degree of side effects from low dose, once weekly benzo use. (Personally, if I took a benzo or barbiturate one time per week, that would be sufficient to cause rebound mood/anxiety problems but I don’t know how common that is). My mom absolutely refuses to go to doctors, so that’s out of the question. She swears up and down she doesn’t take Xanax more frequently than 1x per week, which I believe because she’s so regimented & afraid of drug addiction, but she could be taking it more often. I’m at a loss.

OCD runs in our family, as do other mental illnesses. I’m absolutely terrified it’s dementia, which would probably cause me to kill myself or be institutionalized because I could not handle that. Cancer is preferable to dementia. I’m praying it’s the Xanax at this point because the alternatives are so awful.

Thanks.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2017, 01:31:29 am »

[Buddie]

I am curious to why she takes one Xanax a week. It seems like she would be in perpetual withdrawal. Her symptoms could well be withdrawal symptoms. It certainly causes brain fog and forgetting things.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2017, 02:26:13 am »

Also, you might want to take into consideration paradoxical reactions:

Benzodiazepine Side Effects: http://www.benzo.org.uk/sidefx.htm

So-called “Paradoxical” Effects
According to Professor Malcolm Lader, 5% of those using benzodiazepines may be affected by so-called “paradoxical” reactions in response to the drugs rather than the desired tranquillising effects. Such reactions include increased aggressiveness (in some individuals even violent behaviour), depression (with or without suicidal thoughts or intentions), and sometimes personality changes.

Paradoxical” side effects occur in all age groups but are more likely to be found in children and in the elderly where they may be fairly frequent yet erroneously diagnosed as various psychiatric disorders. The risk of such reactions is generally greater with short-acting compounds but may occur with all benzodiazepine drugs. It is important to remember that the “paradoxical” reactions can also be encountered in short-term use and, in rare cases, even following the first ingestion of the drug.

Cognitive Side Effects
Memory functioning is markedly and measurably impaired, especially the ability to store acquired knowledge into long-term memory. This memory impairment is highly relevant to students. The risk of acute amnesia is more pronounced with short-acting drugs. Ativan (lorazepam), Halcion (triazolam), Xanax (alprazolam) and Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) are especially likely to induce such memory impairment.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2017, 03:00:09 am »

[Buddie]

Here’s some more info on this: http://w-bad.org/paradoxical/

I hope it’s the Xanax and your Mom might agree to stop taking it to test out whether this is the case.

Kind regards.

Re: Mom's Personality Changed - Xanax To Blame?
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2017, 06:41:33 am »

[Buddie]

Thank you so much 

She’s very regimented due to OCD (which has gotten worse with age/Xanax use). She goes shopping one day per week, so the Xanax is to help her sleep the night before. I’ve seen her take it twice in a week when she had other things to do, so she may be taking it more often than 1x per week.

She has an endless supply obtained from…well, let’s just say this isn’t coming from a doctor. She’s had prescriptions for it in the past & even forged one prescription to have 4 refills instead of zero. So that tells me she’s got some kind of issue right there. But she could’ve just forged it because she hates going to the doctor. Either way, it’s a crime & she could’ve gone to jail for it. But back then she didn’t take Xanax as often as she does now.

I’m very familiar with rebound symptoms like anxiety & low mood, as I get them after a single use of barbiturates, benzos or Ambien. Thanks again for the links & quotes. That gives me some peace of mind. The part about short-acting benzos being even more likely to cause issues is especially comforting. I’ve tried explaining rebound effects to her before, but she doesn’t believe that can really happen even after SEEING what a single dose of benzos does to me the following day. She once became manic from a single dose of Valium too.

Ugh. This is all very frustrating since I now live with her. But if it’s “just” the benzos causing her insanity, that would be a good thing 

Ashton tapers cause amnesia

FREAKING OUT!! PLEASE HELP!
« on: July 01, 2017, 05:49:55 am »

[Buddie]

Ive been having EXTREMELY BAD short term memory problems for the past few days. I can’t remember yesterday, a few days ago, a week ago or a month ago. I’m a long term user. I have tapered to a low dose. And this just started. I feel like everything before today is just a black hole. I’M FREAKING OUT!!!!! Is this permanent? I’m seriously afraid. And i can’t handle this being a withdrawl symptom permanently or long term. Hopefully you guys understand this post.

Is this amnesia!?!?!
« Last Edit: July 01, 2017, 02:17:02 pm by [Buddie] »

Xanax no longer fun for addict

Feeling like such a failure...
« on: May 26, 2017, 09:48:48 pm »

[Buddie]

:(

Tonight my husband took me out to a local historical attraction. It was a pleasant evening. The weather had cooled off and I knew that walking would be good for me. I had asked him to take me out this evening for some air. Plus I was excited to be able to face what anxiety I’ve been having and work through it. Prove to myself I was safe. I had been feeling a bit jumpy and anxious all day but yesterday when we went out,  I had quickly dealt with it and felt really decent.

Tonight all of a sudden the panic hit me hard. I told him as we were walking up the steps to the memorial I felt anxious. My breathing was funny and my heart of course was pounding.  :-\ We sat for a while and I calmed down. We talked about it and took some pictures and even though I was anxious I was working through it. Off and on the anxiety just kept hitting me. As soon as I calmed down it was back.

Then we stopped to get sandwiches for dinner and while I waited in the car I started feeling awful. My head was hurting,  my neck hurting…I swear to God I started feeling “withdrawal” symptoms but I know it was just my anxiety.  >:(

I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to jump out of my skin! My pulse was normal but I just felt like my while body was vibrating with flight or fight you know?

I had .5mg of a Xanax in  my pocket that I carry around FOREVER but I never take it. Like a safety thing. I know, stupid. I broke down and said screw it. I was so angry and just to wanted to feel better for once since starting this weaning…so I let it start dissolving (not a oral tab btw ) on my tongue. I could feel the saliva building up and taste it on my tongue, the xanax, and then I opened the door to the car and spit it out!  I was so ashamed for being weak ya’ll.  :-[ How could I do this????????

I worry I sat myself back and I just feel like a big loser because I couldn’t handle the freaking anxiety and I wondered why I thought I could ever do this.

I am only coming up on three weeks and I read all of you doing so well and I’m like WHAT A FAILURE!!!

Thanks for listening.

Stevie Nicks blames psychiatry, not abuse of illegal drugs, for her decline


The anti-psychiatry cult venerates Nicks as an anti-benzo apostle yet Stevie was an out of control drug addict:

  • Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks was so addicted to cocaine, alcohol and Quaaludes she blacked out and nearly overdosed repeatedly
  • She wore gold and turquoise bottle inlaid with diamonds around her neck so she was never without coke
  • To avoid body searches by customs in Europe, they hired Hitler’s private rail car complete with the elderly attendant who served the Fuhrer

She quickly descended into drug hell and became addicted to cocaine, alcohol, Quaaludes to sleep, and cigarettes – until her system broke down and she started having nosebleeds, falls on stage, blackouts and near overdoses.

She bought $1 million worth of cocaine and it burned a hole in her nose the size of a dime. Rumors spread that she had to have the drug blown up her derriere by an assistant.

“There was no way to get off the white horse and I didn’t want to,”  the now 66-year-old Nicks said.

She only slowed down her drug consumption when her doctor warned her she was risking permanent mental and physical damage as well as heading for a brain hemorrhage or an early grave.

The group called for an intervention and saved her life by urging her to check in to the Betty Ford Center.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2941749/Stevie-Nicks-1million-cocaine-habit-fueled-wild-affair-married-Mick-Fleetwood-burned-hole-nose-big-took-drug-private-parts-reveals-new-book.html

Can anyone blame Big Pharma, or psychiatry, for that?

In a March 2017 Rolling Stone interview, instead of advising her younger self never to take illegal drugs, and thereby help other addicts, Nicks irresponsibly blames the psychiatrist who tried to help her recover:

What advice would you give to your younger self?
“How about my early-forties self? That’s when I walked out of Betty Ford after beating coke. I spent two months doing so well. But all my business managers and everyone were urging me to go to this guy who was supposedly­ the darling of the psychiatrists. That was the guy who put me on Klonopin. This is the man who made me go from 123 pounds to almost 170 pounds at five feet two. He stole eight years of my life.”

Look at what this poor, brainwashed, slob at Benzo Buddies says about Nicks:

Resist
« on: May 24, 2017, 02:51:03 am »

[Buddie]

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/stevie-nicks-talks-drugs-men-aging-fleetwood-macs-future-w470914

Start fighting back folks. No more suicides. Lost jobs and homes. No more drugged toddlers and babies, elderly and infirm. Come on guys! This is a grass roots effort! If Stevie Nicks still has the balls to stand up against big pharma and the drug dealers that push their poisons, so do you!

Love you all,

Talk about delusional.

People who took the Ashton cure still sick years out compared to people who went to rehab / detox

Do we all really heal?
« on: May 10, 2017, 10:15:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I think the majority of members don’t fully recover..what do you think?…and for sure some symptoms are permanent…i think GI problems are permanent..i have yet to read any member that has claimed to be healed or written a success story..claim their GI problems were fully cured…and for sure Tinnitus is permanent…I’ve never seen not one member claim there Tinnitus has gone away for good..so that’s my theory..IMO the minority not the majority fully heal..what are your opinions?..and should people give people false hopes or be honest..i understand this is a support forum and that people wanna give hope of a full recovery to all the members who are struggling while tapering and those who are recovering..but no one knows who will fully heal..there are too many people still suffering 3,4,5,6 or more years still in withdrawal and suffering horrible symptoms..and they are short term, long term, c/t, fast taper, super slow taper all different methods of tapering…my heart goes out to all those who suffer for such a long duration.

Kook wants to Crowdfund a taper hospital where cult members can stay indefinitely (there’s already such a place, it’s called an insane asylum)

Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« on: May 04, 2017, 02:13:04 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s been a while since I’ve read the Ashton Manual, so I’m not sure if it included any historical portions in there such as when the facility started and ended. But with the failure that is the modern day psychiatric hospitals and detox centers where you only get about 14 to 30 days before you are discharged (and usually in worse shape than when you came in), you would have to think there is room to have a longer term facility similar to Ashton’s that could be recreated today. I would gladly turn myself over to such a facility to live there indefinitely since I’m out of ideas on how to stabilize myself and already on disability. How much time money do you think a facility like that would take to create? What do you think would be the best location for such a facility? Do you think that it would be possible to use crowdfunding to get something like this created?

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2017, 03:36:33 pm »

[Buddie]

I think that prof Ashton treated most people outpatient. Anyway, it would be possible if there were enough funding ! I’m not sure why it doesn’t exist, it wouldn’t be that expensive nor would the costs of certain academic research be that prohibitive.

Money, money, money … who’s gonna pay ? A few 100,000 USD or a few millions would go a long way I think. Any rich members who want to contribute ?

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2017, 04:15:05 pm »

[Buddie]

I would but I’m dead broke. 

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2017, 04:19:52 pm »

[Buddie]

Professor Ashton only ran an out-patient clinic on the NHS here in the UK. Sadly it was closed down many years ago.

There has been no such facility since then.

[…] 

Re: Could a detox facility similar to Ashton's be created today?
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2017, 04:41:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve thought about buying some property in the Caribbean and starting a benzo recovery retreat. The idea being, a place where one could go during or after your taper, stay for as long as needed (e.g. weeks, months), offering relaxing therapies (e.g. yoga, meditation) and healthy living (organic food, exercise) in a tranquil setting. A place to heal from benzos or other psych drugs. Cost would be comparable to a staying at a modest resort, which is to say not cheap but much less than the outrageous amounts charged by “detox” facilities which don’t really do anything for you except suddenly yank you off drugs which is not the best approach for benzos anyway. I think it’d take a few hundred thousand dollars to start such a facility. I’m not rich but it’d be do-able if I wanted to gamble a chunk of my retirement savings on the idea. Do you think this is a good idea? Would anyone come to such a facility?

I don’t think one could do it in the U.S. due to regulations and the high cost of any kind of health care here.

RESCUE DOSE HELL

F*ing Rescue Dose
« on: April 08, 2017, 01:24:49 pm »

[Buddie]

The past week since CT has been going pretty well considering…up until 2 nights ago. My husband surprised me with a 3rd year wedding anniversary to the beach. Getting out of my environment was great as well as the sun and sand.

HOWEVER, first night I get hit with insomnia for the first time since tapering/CT. Falling asleep wasn’t the issue, but I woke up at 3:30 AM and for the life of me, could not go back to sleep.

Same thing last night…fell asleep about midnight to wake up at 3:30 AM and lay here trying everything to go back to sleep…fail. Then once I got up, the nausea hit, upset bowels, pouring sweat, then freezing…body temp back and forth totally crazy. Unfortunately, I still had my pills in my purse and broke down and took a rescue dose for the first time. I am SO disappointed. Maybe if I weren’t on this trip, I could’ve rode it out. But I don’t want to ruin the trip.

What’s strange is the rescue dose did nothing for relief and actually seemed to amp up the sweating/chills/freezing body temp symptoms. Why would it have the reverse effect like that?