Cult member ditches pills for booze, with predictable results

About Drinking.
« on: June 07, 2018, 05:24:33 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi guys.

I’m about 2 and a half years off of Xanax.

I’ve enjoyed some good functionality and windows all along, and around the 2 year mark, things really seemed to take a turn for the better. I’m talking I almost felt healed in April of this year. I was confident in general.

Then, I decided to have a beer one night with a friend. Just 1.

That turned into drinking nearly every night for a month.

During that month of drinking, I still felt my normal symptoms, but still felt mostly normal and good. Being drunk felt normal, and not that weird messed up drunk that you sometimes get in withdrawal. I thought I was good to drink.

Now I’ve gone 1 week with no alcohol, and surprise, my symptoms have come back pretty strongly. It feels like a constant, burning glutamate storm.

I have a wedding and new job coming up, and I can’t stop worrying about how bad I’ll feel, how inept I’ll be, etc.

So this is just a piece of advice: Don’t drink, even if you feel like you can. (I did)
Or if you do decide to drink, drink in moderation. 1 or 2 drinks, 1 or 2 times a week, or whatever you can tolerate.

Can anybody offer me their experience with drinking during withdrawal? Will my symptoms get better again soon?

Thanks.

Benzo Buddies alcohol experiment

5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« on: April 28, 2018, 01:20:38 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 5 months off of 1mg Klonopin after 6 years of daily, as-prescribed use. It should be noted that I wasn’t well-educated about benzo withdrawal until after I jumped, so my taper was pretty fast in retrospect (0.25mg cuts every 1-2 months).

Aside from anxiety/anger, muscle tension and episodic bouts of lethargy, I’ve been in a pretty good place since the start of month 4.

I know it’s frowned upon, but I’ve been having ONE beer every two months or so to see how I react. In my mind, this is the way to tell if/when I’ve completely healed (when I no longer experience negative effects from a single drink). I’ve never been big on alcohol, so I’m not worried about trading one dependence for another or anything like that.

Anyway… Here’s my latest report.

4/27/18
16oz Coors Light at dinner
(I drank it pretty quick and didn’t nurse it)

Tinnitus (only lasted about an hour) 1/10
Muscle tension 6/10 (worse when asleep)
Sleep sweats 3/10 (not as bad as previous times)
Flatulence 5/10 (still not as bad as previous times)
Neuro weirdness (Eyes darting around/coordination issues/brain zaps 5/10 (not as bad as previous times)
Anxiety 3/10 (mindfulness that this will pass and is par for the course helps- no outright panic)
Overall lethargy 5/10

I’d like to point out that the weird “burning” sensation in my legs has completely gone away after having a drink, so that’s exciting.

I definitely feel “hungover,” but nothing crazy. I do know that sometimes a few of the effects lag and don’t show until a solid 24 hours later, so we’ll see what tonight brings, I suppose.

Does anyone else occasionally try this method? At first I was strictly no alcohol at all, but… I’m angry. I’m done. I want normalcy returned to my life. And dammit, I will get there. :P

***I don’t recommend this method to anyone. This is my own experiment but surely I can’t be the only one.***

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2018, 01:35:26 pm »

[Buddie]

5 months off and feeling pretty good, you are lucky!!!

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2018, 02:03:42 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on April 28, 2018, 01:35:26 pm
5 months off and feeling pretty good, you are lucky!!!

Thanks! Yeah, I really am. Especially considering I tried CTing about 3 years back. I only lasted maybe 3-4 days before reinstating at full dose because I turned into a monster. It was bad. I have tremendous support from my husband and friends, which has been so helpful.

I try to keep a positive outlook, because I refuse to be beaten by this.

Swift healing to you!

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2018, 08:37:38 am »

[Buddie]

let us know how it goes, I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine since new years. But I had a glass each time over 4 5 hours haha still too scared to drink how I used to. I’m sure we’ll get there we just need time unfortunately.

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2018, 04:42:38 pm »

[Buddie]

Alcohol is called liquid Benzo in this trip. Chose for yourself. You’ll heal faster without it.

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2018, 06:41:33 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on April 29, 2018, 04:42:38 pm
Alcohol is called liquid Benzo in this trip. Chose for yourself. You’ll heal faster without it.

Some truth to this, although I’ve never heard it called liquid benzo. They both affect the same receptors (GABAa), which may be why the burning went away after a drink.

Even at six years off I rarely drink, but when I do I limit it to 1/2 glass of wine as alcohol has led to borderline panic a few hours later, and I am normally never panicky.

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2018, 06:49:27 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve never been a big drinker and I didn’t have an alcoholic drink until I was sure I was healed. I didn’t want to do anything to derail the slow progress I had towards recovery. Once healed I’ve been able to enjoy a glass of wine or a margarita on occasion. I don’t feel any negative effects from the drink. I am a one and done kind of person, no refills for me.

[…]

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2018, 10:10:25 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m personally too scared to go near alcohol, I’ve heard too many horror stories of it ramping up people’s symptoms and I feel bad enough as it is. I would be careful with your experiment, tolerating alcohol is not the best litmus test for healing. If you have a bad reaction I would wait a good while to test the waters again.

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2018, 10:12:53 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote
Once healed I’ve been able to enjoy a glass of wine or a margarita on occasion

Me, too. I have a (small) glass of wine maybe twice a week with dinner. No problems.

Re: 5 months. Alcohol experiment.
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2018, 12:42:39 pm »

[Buddie]

I am scared to even use rubbing alcohol on my skin.

Anti-psychiatry rabble at Benzo Buddies lie to their doctors out of fear of getting locked in psych wards

How are you speaking with your GP
« on: March 01, 2018, 08:43:03 am »

[Buddie]

Hi everyone,

Are you telling to your GP when you going to talk to him about a symptom like blood pressure spikes, headache, etc you are on withdrawal?

I’m afraid to tell to my GP when I’m going with blood pressure problem because the previous one want to send me back to psychiatric doctor after 5 month off when I was still in strong symptoms.

Re: How are you speaking with your GP
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2018, 09:32:55 am »

[Buddie]

I don’t go to my GP or to psychiatrist because I would probably not tell them nice things about what I think about them, their profession and their knowledge.

Re: How are you speaking with your GP
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2018, 10:30:30 am »

[Buddie]

I know what you mean. I thought long time same. Now I’m just afraid to go because I not want to hear any bad.

Re: How are you speaking with your GP
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2018, 11:23:42 am »

[Buddie]

I avoid GP unless essential visit. No point. Just stresses me out.

Re: How are you speaking with your GP
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2018, 01:00:50 pm »

[Buddie]

My advice is, YES, tell your GP that you know why you are having high BP and anxiety issues. Tell him that you have been doing a lot of homework that most in his profession don’t even bother to do. I have almost developed the opinion that if I want to get sick, go visit the doctor! If your GP gives you any condescending comments or shows any sign of brushing your concerns off as if you don’t know what you are talking about………Find another doctor!

Re: How are you speaking with your GP
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2018, 01:49:24 pm »

[Buddie]

My GP is a good guy, who’s been doing this for 30 years, but has NEVER seen a reaction like mine.
he kinda sits there befuddled as i describe all this to him. im like “dude, im TELLIN ya im not exaggerating, and then i ramble for 10 minutes on the horror.”
He sorta skeptically believes me, and he actually feels bad, takes some responsibility. in my case, i tell him its not his fault because my whole ordeal im convinced was brought on with insane levels of binge drinking the last two years before i went sober. my alcohol withdrawal melded right into my benzo withdrawal.

hes doing what he can, taking frequent blood tests, monitoring my bp and all, but hes pretty uncertain on just what the hell to do with me. when im really struggling, hes like, well, the number one thing you need you cant take now.

its the irony of my life that 5 years ago i went completely sober, got in the gym, hit it hard, changed so many things in my life to try and “see the light” as i cruise through my 40’s…and its been an absoulte unholy hell since the day i put a beer down, quite frankly…and ive never felt as effed up in my life as i have when i went straight….yeah…

Benzo Buddies member laments having to give up booze

no more social drinking!! makes me sad
« on: December 28, 2017, 09:09:37 am »

[Buddie]

My insomnia is just as bad as the beginning (end of april 2017) when I quit Temazepam.
My insomnia was moderate to mild when I started the Temazapam, but got severe after going on those pills.
It has an effect on all aspects of my life: work (concentration, not being so happy and ergetic anymore), social (going out a lot less), relationship (not the energy to do fun things), self-esteem (nobody feels good with only 2 hours of broken sleep a night) etc.

The think I did enjoy was my weekly going out with friends, I would drink two glasses of wine, sometimes even three. I feel like a normal person and forget about this benzo horror. Still, I could never ever sleep after a night of drinking (not even the two hours), but it felt like worth it in the sense that at least I felt like a normal person one night a week.

Now, these Christmas days, I drank two glasses of wine on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I am awake now for 4 days already. I guess it is time to let go of that part of life also. It is stealing away my social life also.

Ofcourse, I should be able to enjoy nights out without wine, but I found it difficult!

So, from now on… No more wine for me in 2018 (from now on).
Anyone else struggling with giving up social drinking?

Alcoholic tapers with Vodka at online Ashton shrine

Question about alcohol
« on: November 02, 2017, 02:53:39 am »

[Buddie]

Thinking about trying this but I’m worried about how it affects gaba receptors. But If I do try it, I’m using 175 mls of liquid. Do I put 2 mls of Vodka and 173 mls of water?

Thanks.

Scared of the effect bc I’m an alcoholic.

Brainwashed Benzo Buddies members check soap, deodorant, perfume for alcohol

I have a theory...
« on: July 14, 2017, 07:39:22 am »

[Buddie]

Considering that any tiny bit of alcohol on things like deodorant, soap, perfume can cause a noticeable effect on me. Should we use GABAA Antagonists to balance things out? Or does natural glutamate from food already helps? Like, when people drink Alcohol and they have a flare up that last for days, they heal that flare up from eating???

what do you think?
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 05:50:53 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: I have a theory...
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2017, 07:51:11 pm »

[Buddie]

I think you should look for soaps, and deodorants that don’t contain alcohol. Read the back of the products and look. Or call the 800 # listed on the back. And give up the perfumes since most do contain alcohol. Maybe some do not, but I don’t know since I don’t wear any myself.

And for heavens sake, don’t take any gaba a antagonists “to balance things out.” You’re off the benzos and gabapentin, so just get on with life. “Gaba antagonists are drugs that inhibit the action of gaba and produce stimulant and convulsive effects. They”re used mainly for counteracting overdoses of sedative drugs.” (Slight paraphrasing from Wikipedia; you can read this yourself.)

Natural food with glutamate is a good thing no matter what the circumstances. And many people who have withdrawn from benzos can never drink alcohol again while many others can. It depends on numerous factors-genetics, how hard withdrawl was, number of withdrawl attempts, number of “brain meds” involved and more. It’s really an individual thing as we’re all different people with different Central Nervous Systems.

So your “theory” is what exactly?

“May I please have a glass of wine with my Klonopin?”

A glass of wine while Tapering
« on: October 26, 2016, 03:00:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi All,

I am down to .25 a day of klonipin (.125 8am and .125 8pm). My psychiatrist said it’s okay for me to have a glass of wine at this point if I want to. I have a date this Friday, and would like to have a glass of wine, no more than that because I don’t want to get awful side effects.

My question is, if I have the wine before my 8pm dose, do I still take the 8pm dose? My doctor doesn’t seem to think there’s an issue as it’s only .125, but wanted to know others’ opinions/experiences.

Thank you!

Maria

But Matt Samet admitted abusing illegal drugs and alcohol…

“Over the years, I’ve shredded body and mind with poisons and palliatives, and sweated out the mess: benzos, booze, marijuana, muscle relaxants, opiates, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, anti­psychotics, coffee, sugar, computer games, food, puke, shit, piss, blood.” – Matt Samet, Beauty in the Breakdown

I may have reached a pain specialist by using a book
« on: April 24, 2016, 06:37:30 am »

[Buddie]

Hi everyone,
Many of you may be aware of the book “Death Grip” by Matt Stamet from 2013. Anyway I seached “benzodiazepines” on the county library site and it was the only book which came up (and this is a BIG county) but anyway I dove into it and since I was seeing my “pain management” doc for the 2nd time I took it along. He’s a younger guy and had already said he’d never heard of Ashton. His very large and expensive group does NOT ever prescribe benzos which I told him was great on visit #1. However, he is clueless of the masses which are going to be coming to him broken from these things. I just wanted to share that he showed a lot of genuine interest, and will hopefully read the book (I gave him the library slip for the title). This, plus talking my psychiatric nurse practisioner into doing a micro-taper with me, wow I hope to be planting a seed to help many people sometime in the future.

BTW this book has already been mentioned on the archived threads here. Stamet is/was a rock climber, now recovered from benzo hell. His book is fabulous and really digs into the experience of the medical and psychiatric systems and how they sideline us and polydrug us. It’s pretty radical because he did a fast taper so suffered bad protracted w/d. If you’re easily scared or in that spot, maybe not a read for you. Otherwise, great. Recommended for jocks, especially.
Aloha, […]