Accidental addict wants to dive into pill bottle after psychotic reaction to glass of fruit juice

18 month off, a simple fruit juce put me down
« on: January 14, 2016, 06:19:42 pm »

[Buddie]

here we are, 18 month after, a simple glass of fruit juce and my symptoms raves up realy bad i feel anxious and hyperactiv and fainting because it’s too much sugar in my blood too quick and my CNS cant deal with it

what the point to hang in there at this point ?

body is just completly ruined from this poison, adrnenal HPa axis, CNS, all my body is just completly ruined

Might probably reinstate if nothing change this month, just debilating life and symptoms dont know what the point to suffer like this if reinstatement and updose stabilise me and permit me to have something wich is like a “life”

Will not deal with this hell anymore month, nothing change after 18 month it will not at 2 years so what the point ?

i have to wait for improvement for 3-4 years ? Nop i will not, dont have any faith or power anymore to hang on for this long
« Last Edit: January 14, 2016, 06:24:57 pm by [Buddie] »

BENZO CULT LINGO A-Z

Psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton defines “loaded language” as a technique used in brainwashing.

5150’d – getting locked away in a psychiatric ward, see The Funny House

Benzo Belly – gastroenterologic system affected, including the organs from mouth to anus

Benzo Brain – persistent or intermittent combination of symptoms originating from inside the head, head pressure, vestibular system disturbance and psychiatric disturbances

Benzo Flu – anything, anything at all

Healing Happens – meaningless

Kpin – the medication Klonopin

PDOCS – see psychs

Psychs – psychiatrists and psychologists (Seen by the paranoid cult as being the ultimate in evil and corruption on Earth; out to destroy us all by cutting out our brains with transorbital lobotomies, or zapping us into submission with electro-convulsive therapy (ECT), or zombifying us with selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Ritalin and Prozac. The cult front-group called the Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), a la Orwell, is dedicated to destroying these evil beings known as psychs, but who are really members of the fifth galactic invader force.)

SP – Suppressive Person, an evil person; someone who criticizes Scientology in any way

Squirrel – In cult jargon, squirrel refers to someone who is too insane to follow Standard Scientology Tech

The Funny House – a psychiatric ward

Wave – a period of feeling badly after feeling better; this is fairly common because withdrawal is not linear

Window – a period of time where one has relief from symptoms; maybe not complete relief but a noticeable break in symptoms

To be continued…

Death by brainwashing: Is a doctor involved? Help!

Thunderstorm in the head
« on: December 28, 2015, 01:21:42 pm »

[Buddie]

I am having an awful time and I would really like to know, if anybody has experienced something like this:

After a dramatic life event I had what felt like a nervous breakdown and ever since then I have

– the feeling of having a thunderstorm in my brain
– thoughts are so LOUD and completely chaotic
– “movies” playing in the head
pictures come to mind all the time
– cannot tolerate ANY kind of stress
extreme paranoia (I am even afraid of my father)
– anxiety over the top non stop
feeling psychotic
– terrible knocking in my head all the time

And even the smallest things (EVERYTHING that makes me feel that I HAVE to do it) give me such a panic and the feeling of having another nervous breakdown NOW. I need three weeks to calm down again after something that “stressed” me (ridiculous things cause there is not really much going on here). I have the feeling that I stuck in something after the nervous breakdown, which is already 4 months ago now. It feels like I will just never come out of that.

Please, has anybody experienced a dramatic life event during wd or had a nervous breakdown? How did you handle that? I feel I have to go to a doctor soon if it will not get better SOON cause I don`t know how to handle it anymore. I cannot relax anymore at all. And that knocking in my head is driving me so crazy and really feels scary.

If anybody had similar experiences, please tell me.
Thank you all.

Re: Thunderstorm in the head
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2015, 08:20:58 pm »

[Buddie]

I feel like that all the time. Never feel relaxed and peaceful. Every thought brings a jolt of adrenalin. Every situation is stressful and causes my heart to pound. Can’t enjoy anything and don’t know what to do with myself. Can this really be withdrawal?