2 month drug use, 4 month taper?

JUMPED
« on: February 14, 2020, 12:26:12 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello!

Please disregard the information I have listed above about my benzo tapper. I did a slow water titration for the end of my taper of Lorazepam until 0.004. I took the medicarion for 2 months and a half and then tapper for almost 4 months. I jumped around the 11 days ago. I still have symptoms, and I havent seen major signs of healing. I am very discouraged. Is this normal? Thank you.

Benzo Buddies members turn to witch doctors after Ashton fails them

Psychics, Shamans etc..
« on: February 04, 2020, 10:48:44 pm »

[Buddie]

Has anyone visited or made contact with such people or got any kind of reading while going through this? it often feels like a spiritual loss of some sorts. wonder if there is any takes on this

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2020, 01:24:58 am »

[Buddie]

I’ve often thought of going to someone. I remember one BB member who said that he saw a psychic, and she told him he’d get well and be through this. I don’t know who it was, but I think he isn’t on here anymore

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2020, 05:02:52 am »

[Buddie]

How about a psychic medical person? I’d be interested to hear what they have to say? You can talk to them on the phone? I called a psychic years ago and the man was very accurate about my life.

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2020, 06:09:06 am »

[Buddie]

I know a lady who does “energy healing”. I’m kind of skeptical but people have told me her treatments work and she doesn’t charge a penny. I might try it. At least if it doesn’t work it just doesn’t work, no nasty side affects. Who knows.

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2020, 06:09:48 am »

[Buddie]

let us know

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2020, 09:38:17 pm »

[Buddie]

I had a phone conversation with a medical intuitive. Her reviews were great. But she was entirely useless and cost $300 to boot. I wouldn’t do it again unless I absolutely felt certain that the person was true and reliable.

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2020, 12:39:12 am »

[Buddie]

I went to an energy healer once and it made me feel worse. I would never go to one of those again. I wasted alot of money going to this lady.

Re: Psychics, Shamans etc..
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2020, 03:00:06 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 07, 2020, 12:39:12 am
I went to an energy healer once and it made me feel worse. I would never go to one of those again. I wasted alot of money going to this lady.

Now that is interesting, and unfortunate.

Patient goes back on Klonopin after Benzo Buddies taper almost causes stroke

My heart couldn't handle my withdrawal
« on: January 09, 2020, 02:11:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I am back now taking my regular dose of clonazepam. I lasted 15 days without a benzo, those 15 days were the longest, confusing, hellish days of my life. Without a doubt my effort to quit caused my blood pressure to spike to the point where I need to take a pill for my heart at age 34. I would love to be happy and benzo free, it just seems like I could get benzo free but I would be regretting it because your body feels so different and changed from the benzo. I’ve already been kicked out of enough Doctor’s offices so I think I’m going to take this Dr.’s advise and stay on the benzo even though it’s not suppose to be taken for more than 2 months and I’m on over a decade. At some point there will be a Class Action Lawsuit on everyone involved in this scheme, however I don’t want money I want myself to be able to live without Big Pharma. Good luck to everyone out there fighting the good fight, keep it up love is reciprocal.

Holiday horror stories pile up as Benzo Buddies members realize Ashton tapers have destroyed their lives

What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »

Ptsdmiracle

In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.

So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.

It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.

For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.

You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.

If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.

What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?

You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.

You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.

I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.

When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.

Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.

When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.

Benzo Buddies members drink booze, snort ketamine to deal with failed benzo tapers

Alcohol setback
« on: July 20, 2019, 06:21:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Drank some beer about two weeks ago, and a few hours later I started to feel this weird electric feeling in my chest and my sleep got way worse. Over the next few days I started having all sorts of weird physical sensations. It felt like electricity was surging through my body, my skin was burning, and I had this weird electric butterflies in my stomach type feeling. Horrible anxiety set in, I started to feel like I was losing my mind, and my sleep got worse and worse. The anxiety has faded pretty much entirely and I’m having less of the weird bodily sensations, but my sleep SUCKS now. I’m getting 1-2 hours a night. I was doing so much better before I drank. I felt like I was finally turning a big corner. I was mostly getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night, sometimes a bit more, without taking anything to help me sleep.

I’m 13.5 months off, and am pretty concerned about this lack of sleep. It’s like I’m back to where I was at the start of my withdrawal with sleep.
Anybody else experienced something similar?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2019, 07:41:32 pm »

[Buddie]

I am sure one of the mods or admins will move it soon. How much beer did you drink?

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2019, 07:51:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Only one tall glass of beer. This is crazy.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2019, 08:38:35 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 20, 2019, 06:39:11 pm
Oops I meant to post this in the post withdrawal recovery support section

I’ll move this over to the Post Withdrawal Support Board! :thumbsup:

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2019, 08:42:41 pm »

[Buddie]

Drinking alcoholic beverages tends to be a highly charged topic here. For some, perhaps many people, drinking can cause a return of withdrawal symptoms. Others may be able to tolerate it fine.

I’ll just share my personal experience. I am not a big drinker, just a glass of wine on occasion and a mixed drink even less often. However, I did not drink anything, not one sip, until I was completely healed. Even then, I didn’t have a drink right away, it took some time.

I’ve been recovered for many years now and do enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink at times with no ill effects. Everyone is different in this regard. Personally, I would not rush into beer again if you had a negative reaction.

[…] 🙂

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2019, 09:20:51 pm »

[Buddie]

I had one small glass of wine after many weeks of feeling better. I then had many weeks of feeling worse! And it happened pretty immediately. No more alcohol for me.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2019, 01:09:30 am »

[Buddie]

Two beers set me back for a month. Still not where I was prior to the beers. Im alcohol free for the foreseeable future.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2019, 01:14:23 am »

[Buddie]

I experimented with drinking wine a year off my taper. First 1/4 glass, then 1/2 glass, then a whole glass. 3 oz. No problems. So now I drink a glass of wine a couple of times a week.

But everyone is different. How alcohol will affect us is a crap shoot imo. I would definitely wait awhile before trying beer again. And then maybe a small glass.

Hope your sleep improves.

[…]

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am »

[Buddie]

4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

Re: Alcohol setback
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2019, 10:53:20 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on July 21, 2019, 10:37:53 am
4 months after finishing a long benzo taper, I slammed 5.5 beers within a two hour period or less. I had to pour out the rest of the 6th beer after realizing that I messed myself up. I was back in acute for several weeks but recovered after a solid month or so. It’s been 18 months since I touched alcohol. I’ve messed with small quantities from tinctures though without any ill effects. I suspect I can have a few drinks if I wanted to now but I just wrapped up tapering some other stuff. I’m thinking by the new year I can drink in moderation hopefully, assuming things work out for me. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m stuck with a bunch of people drinking and I can’t, snorting ketamine helps me get through it, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out so much. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation anyways. I can never go back to binge drinking anyways, which may lead back to benzos. I distinctly recall starting to take benzos to cope with hangovers in the beginning.

I think you should stop snorting Ketamine.

Addict lands in ER after Benzo Buddies taper fails

Please help.... absolutely hopeless and broken
« on: July 18, 2019, 12:06:20 am »

[Buddie]

So I’ve been off Klonopin about 1 month now. I have a phobia about dying. It’s only gotten worse. Last night I felt very weak and scared and was absolutely certain I’d die in my sleep. This morning I woke up at 6, very weak and TERRIFIED. I can usually tell a panic attack is happening, but I fully thought I was dying and called 911 for the first time. I was telling my boyfriend goodbye, ffs. My vitals were fine, my urine was fine, my blood sugar was fine. They sent me home. I still feel terrible and scared out of my mind. A terror I’ve never felt. I’m obsessing about meningitis or septic shock… I don’t know why. They didn’t do blood tests which is the major reason I cannot calm down. I’m so depressed. Majorly depressed. I’m so done with this. I’m the worst I’ve ever been. I keep going into full panic screaming that I’m dying, begging my Mom to help.

This just feels so real and different. But I’m not in excruciating pain. I just feel weak, confused, really depressed, my head is heavy, and sheer terror that I’m dying and nobody will help me. 🙁 Please tell me this is withdrawal and that I can make it through this, because I’m considering giving up completely.