Kook ditches pills, finds lump in testicle, goes back on pills, starts to cry

Going nuts.... literally
« on: April 20, 2018, 05:36:03 pm »

[Buddie]

Every since i jumped ive had a on and off pain in my testicles, i found a lump and had it checked a while back and doc said it was a cytst and nothing to worry about. Im back on 1mg and this pops up every know and then.i was able to tell myself for a while that it was nothing and push it back. Im not sure why but im getting the impending doom and crying alot in the morning. Especially when my stomach or my tenders are bothering me. My stomach and everything below feels inflamed. I wouldn’t even call it pain just annoying and enough to mess my head completey up. Before i jumped cold turkey i never had one problem out of that area down there. Sorry i know theres females on here and im trying to keep it pg. But anyone else ever had this? The whole inflamed stomach, pelvic tightness, aching tenders ect…

Benzo Buddies members give up sex to devote years-long tapers to cult guru

Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« on: February 12, 2018, 12:05:30 am »

[Buddie]

Does orgasms make your symptoms worse? I feel like my anxiety, fatigue, depersonalization, everything gets worse after orgasm and doesn’t get better until about a week of abstinence…

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2018, 01:27:07 am »

[Buddie]

My head starts hurting and I feel more pressure in it
It scares me
😒 can’t even enjoy sex

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2018, 01:41:21 am »

[Buddie]

Yes, I think this happens to me. If I feel good before, and […] for a few hours after having one, but a few hours later I feel horrid. I guess it takes a lot of our energy, or maybe the pleasure center in our brain is tapped too much. Fortunately, this symptom resolves itself for me after a while. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am »

[Buddie]

It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2018, 01:50:45 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am
It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.
Of course, as a guy. this doesn’t apply to me, but very recently I discontinued Melatonin, a hormone which I used as a sleep aid for 18 months, and from what I understand the US (where I am) is the only country that allows it to be sold OTC. Perhaps going off of it contributed to my post-O slump and other problems

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2018, 04:45:36 am »

[Buddie]

Orgasms don’t seem to bother me but I definitely notice feeling way worse during my period, so I can believe that hormones are involved.

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2018, 07:44:31 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:50:45 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on February 12, 2018, 01:43:10 am
It may be linked to hormones. I’ve read a number of posts that indicate pregnancy and menstrual cycles are particularly difficult due to hormonal issues.
Of course, as a guy. this doesn’t apply to me

Actually, us guys have hormones as well — they are just different ones. Testosterone is a hormone. And there is in fact a big hormonal change in the brain after orgasm in males. My impression is that the orgasm also has an affect on the central nervous system, and since said nervous system is irritated… It would make sense that there would be symptoms. In my first bad experience with quitting benzos years ago, I would always feel like crap after an orgasm. Never knew why! Now I do…

Re: Does orgasm make your symptoms worse?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2018, 02:02:44 pm »

[Buddie]

sex. i cant even imagine, i can barely make it outside through this much less meet a woman! :P
ugh benzo withdrawal

Are Benzo Buddies members forbidden to have sex?

Physical intimacy (for women mostly) Getting it back
« on: January 16, 2018, 04:39:48 pm »

[Buddie]

I miss having passion. Initially, I know the benzos just about killed it. Tapering (and the wd) put the nail in the coffin. I am in the later stages of menopause, that contributes. I do believe once I finish my taper, then heal from that, it will come back, perhaps just not as strong. Anyone find a way to wake up your desire while in the prices of tapering?? (not porn) Thanks!

Re: Physical intimacy (for women mostly) Getting it back
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2018, 09:41:57 am »

[Buddie]

I was tapering through the menopause, which was no picnic! I had a problem with dryness – which I solved by using a simple OTC lubricator.
I didn’t take any HRT – my own choice. I am now about 2 yrs post menopause and the dryness has actually improved.
Tapering is stressful, and when you’re under stress – it’s hard to feel playful and sexy – but I still appreciated the closeness of an intimate relationship with my husband. Try and have some fun outings together, or do things you both enjoy – or whatever you like to do together. Just enjoying each other’s company will help to bring the passion back.

One of the treatments for Restless Genital Syndrome is… benzos

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #24 on: November 15, 2017, 04:58:24 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on November 15, 2017, 04:04:14 pm
At this point in my pathetic existence this symptom would be the most exciting thing thats happened to me in 2 years…siiiiiigh
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:   Okay I’m laughing but when my Vag went westward it was freaky!! :D

Love […] xxx  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #25 on: November 15, 2017, 11:26:39 pm »

[Buddie]

I wonder if this is withdrawal because I’ve had all kinds of weird sensations down there since I’ve been off Xanax ct for almost 15 months already.

2015: Mass hysteria causes Restless Genital Syndrome outbreak at Benzo Buddies

Porn saves benzo addict’s life?

Porn ? Really need advice please
« on: August 27, 2017, 09:10:56 am »

[Buddie]

Hi enveryone.

I’m shamefull about it but i think its also a problem like another.

I was wondering if porn (like masturbating at least 2 Times a day...) can prevent the CNS from healing. Because I know that it takes energy and stimulates the CNS.

I’m in a rough period of my withdrawal at 2.5 months and i’m a afraid of quitting porn and be even more stressed and depressed, like just quitting another addiction…

I don’t know if I should stop because it hurts my CNS a lot or if I should consider quitting later… ?
My symptoms are actually: depression, anxiety, lethargy, weakness and other little things…

Thank you all
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 01:23:36 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2017, 02:04:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey buddy,

Im willing to bet that it can be taxing on your CNS. And it definitely doesn’t help your practice for self control which can be very harmful for you and your mental health. I understand that this is something that is not easy to admit to people that you do, and asking for help in this area takes a lot of guts, so I totally commend you on this for taking the first step which is asking for helping. And remember that we all need help in one area or another. You are not the only one.

I’m a Christian, and I know that we are suppose to refrain from having religious talks on this forum, but I gotta tell you, if you give this area of weakness over to Jesus, you will be amazed at the victory you can have. I know I can’t overcome my problems by myself.

You may or may not believe, but it’s just some thought I figured I’d give you hat I know has helped me in the past, and he has changed my life.

Anyways, keep up the good fight, and we are here for ya!

Scrappy

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 02:14:19 pm »

[Buddie]

I agree with Scrappy:)

Keep healing

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2017, 03:20:52 pm »

[Buddie]

You will find this strange, i’ve never been really religious, but since me beginning of post-benzo i go like every 2 weeks at church to pray and thanks God and Jesus to give me strengh.

I know that i need to quit this and this is a bad addiction, but it’s really worst since post-benzo, i really want to quit but it seems too hard for now… And my psychiatrist doesnt really help me !

So i’m asking myself if i need to quit now or later to heal better…

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2017, 04:18:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t think the porn is necessarily going to stop healing. If you are exhausting yourself with any activity, that could not be good, cause you need to take care of yourself and give yourself the rest your body needs. This could also be your personal way of stress-relief, and maybe it’s helping? Maybe take a few days off and see.

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2017, 07:37:10 pm »

[Buddie]

……and risking carpal tunnel is just another worry you don’t need..

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2017, 08:19:49 pm »

[Buddie]

I don’t think watching porn will delay the healing, but stopping a porn addiction can cause nasty withdrawal symptoms on top of the benzo withdrawal symptoms. This will increase depression, anxiety, insomnia an fatigue. During porn withdrawal your dopamine and GABA levels will go down. During most dopaminergic drug/behaviour addiction withdrawals, the levels of corticotropin releasing factor and dynorphin increase. This will make you feel like shit, until the brain reaches homeostasis in kappa opioid and dopamine receptors. Some people even expierence porn PAWS.

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2017, 08:47:24 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m no expert but while withdrawing you should listen closely to your body and mind. If it seems to have adverse effects, then cut […]. Masterbation is not an addiction unless it controls you. Porn is another story. If you are addicted and go cold turkey, it could increase you symptoms. I’m not advocating anything here but there are some things to consider. Nothing to be ashamed of!
« Last Edit: August 27, 2017, 08:53:12 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Porn ? Really need advice please
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2017, 04:47:30 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 27, 2017, 02:04:39 pm
Hey buddy,

Im willing to bet that it can be taxing on your CNS. And it definitely doesn’t help your practice for self control which can be very harmful for you and your mental health. I understand that this is something that is not easy to admit to people that you do, and asking for help in this area takes a lot of guts, so I totally commend you on this for taking the first step which is asking for helping. And remember that we all need help in one area or another. You are not the only one.

I’m a Christian, and I know that we are suppose to refrain from having religious talks on this forum, but I gotta tell you, if you give this area of weakness over to Jesus, you will be amazed at the victory you can have. I know I can’t overcome my problems by myself.

You may or may not believe, but it’s just some thought I figured I’d give you hat I know has helped me in the past, and he has changed my life.

Anyways, keep up the good fight, and we are here for ya!

Scrappy

As a 25 year old woman who is engaged to the best man in the world and continued to have a rocking sex life all through withdrawal as well as look at porn a few times a month I can say it was my saving grace during the worst time in my life aka withdrawal from benzos.

[…] you are not shameful in the least bit, not sure if you are a man or a woman but watching porn is NOTHING to be ashamed of and unless it is causing you to not be able to have real relationships with people or if you feel it is an addiction in and of itself then don’t worry about it, it can help to release the major stress of benzo withdrawal and recovery, provide some temporary pleasure in your life and also just distract you.

Also highly recommend sex and connection with real people if you are up to it, withdrawal is a beast but it ends, I swear. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY OR ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUALITY and you have zero reason to fear it will effect your CNS whether you quit or keep going with watching porn.

PS. Do you […] and don’t let anybody make you feel bad for how you choose to express your sexuality.

2015: Mass hysteria causes Restless Genital Syndrome outbreak at Benzo Buddies

Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« on: April 12, 2015, 11:28:49 am »

[Buddie]

I’m just gonna come out and say it! Does anyone else’s genitals vibrate, not in a good way LOL

I mean when I’m in a wave like NOW I literally vibrate all over all day and night, not shake, vibrate but even my genitals vibrate it’s the weirdest thing. If that isn’t a sign of my nervous system being messed up I don’t know what is!

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

Last wave lasted three weeks, God I hope this one passes quicker  :-X

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2015, 11:49:39 am »

[Buddie]

Now THIS is a new one…lol….sorry to laugh at your pain, but my feet and hands are vibrating so it comes from a place of understanding….i needed that laugh though. I suppose anywhere with nerves can buzz.

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
 « Reply #2 on: April 13, 2015, 12:34:49 am »

[Buddie]

My genitals don’t vibrate, but I have a lot of wet dreams almost one every other night! My genitals are super sensitive….

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2015, 01:24:59 am »

[Buddie]

When I was 9 days off benzos through a detox I could not feel my genitals. Like, it felt like they weren’t even there. No sensation whatever. You could’ve kneed me in the balls and I don’t think I would’ve felt it.

I was so terrified and went to the ER right away where, after examination, they told me everything was fine and nothing physically was wrong with me. After being terrified that this would last a long time, it went away about a week later or so.

I thought I was prepared for withdrawal, but that one took me by surprise.

With your situation, I’m like 99% sure that it’s all because of withdrawals, nothing to do with any physical abnormality. Don’t worry about it when it comes along.

“CALL ME”

call me....
« on: May 15, 2017, 08:20:35 pm »

[Buddie]

hey, i think sometimes its easier to relate to people when you actually chit chat on the phone. if anyone needs to talk, feel free to give me a call, i think it would therapeutic, i went to an anxiety meeting and found it to help me so much when i could talk to someone about my issues. its hard to find someone who understands. i know my wife doesn’t understand nor my family. so i welcome anyone, 305-305-2923. I’m not a weirdo, lol, google me if you’d like, jase haber.

Re: call me....
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2017, 08:35:28 pm »

[Buddie]

Where do you live? I am in the U.S. Will this be an out of country call?

Re: call me....
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2017, 08:37:32 pm »

[Buddie]

no i am in miami….

Re: call me....
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2017, 08:47:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Can I call you right now?

Re: call me....
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2017, 09:02:16 pm »

[Buddie]

yes

Re: call me....
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2017, 09:07:05 pm »

[Buddie]

My number is

305-305-2923

Re: call me....
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2017, 09:34:43 pm »

[Buddie]

It’s against BB rules to give out personal information such as your name and phone number and to solicit phone calls. I did Google you and what I found was ***NOT*** very complementary at all.

I would strongly caution all members! For your own safety, do not attempt to contact this person!

Re: call me....
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2017, 10:16:31 pm »

megan918

[…], this is indeed against the rules. It’s not allowed on this forum:

You are not permitted to post your contact details to the BenzoBuddies forum. Nor should you solicit the contact details of other members. Links to, or requests to join, Facebook or any other social networking websites which might potentially identify members’ true identities are not allowed

Please do not do this again. If you do, you risk not being able to post freely as a result.

[…]
Administrator

Re: call me....
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2017, 11:50:08 pm »

[Buddie]

First and foremost I had no idea this was against the rules, I don’t see anything so wrong with putting out my phone number as long as it’s in the attempt to communicate with people and help each other out. I happened to have had a great conversation with somebody that could relate to me. I apologize for offending so many of you. When this is a form this design to help each other. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. I’m not by any means ashamed of what I’m going through and have no issues helping other people that are in the same situation as I am. But again I apologize if I’ve violated the rules and any which way. But once again, I’m giving out my phone number not anyone else’s. My personal information no one else’s, it’s up to that person whether they need somebody to talk to them or not. I was really under the impression this was a form to help each other out, and I’m actually glad I put my phone number because I got to meet someone that was very cool and we happen to have a lot in common and are going to similar situations, as well as I’ve met somebody prior to that who has help me through this whole process. But I will make sure not to post it again since it’s obviously against the rules.

Re: call me....
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2017, 11:58:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 15, 2017, 09:34:43 pm
It’s against BB rules to give out personal information such as your name and phone number and to solicit phone calls. I did Google you and what I found was ***NOT*** very complementary at all.

I would strongly caution all members! For your own safety, do not attempt to contact this person!

You googled me, you would see I’m a successful actor as well as business man. So please do not even think for one minute you know me.

Re: call me....
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2017, 12:08:56 am »

megan918

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 15, 2017, 11:50:08 pm
First and foremost I had no idea this was against the rules, I don’t see anything so wrong with putting out my phone number as long as it’s in the attempt to communicate with people and help each other out. I happened to have had a great conversation with somebody that could relate to me. I apologize for offending so many of you. When this is a form this design to help each other. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. Sometimes it’s very difficult for me and I’m sure for others to wait for somebody to respond to a reply when they’re at that particular moment going to pure panic. Didn’t see it at such a big deal, I have no issues of anyone knowing who I am since I can be publicly looked at the Google, and I’m actually considered a public figure. I’m not by any means ashamed of what I’m going through and have no issues helping other people that are in the same situation as I am. But again I apologize if I’ve violated the rules and any which way. But once again, I’m giving out my phone number not anyone else’s. My personal information no one else’s, it’s up to that person whether they need somebody to talk to them or not. I was really under the impression this was a form to help each other out, and I’m actually glad I put my phone number because I got to meet someone that was very cool and we happen to have a lot in common and are going to similar situations, as well as I’ve met somebody prior to that who has help me through this whole process. But I will make sure not to post it again since it’s obviously against the rules.

Hello again,

Thanks for getting back to us and agreeing to follow the rules, but I want to make a few things perfectly clear, especially since we know you’ve published a book about your career as a professional con man:

You agreed to abide by the rules when you joined, as we all did. We have these rules to protect all of our members, and it doesn’t matter who you are or what you think about our rules – you still have to abide by them. This is a private club, not a democracy, and we reserve the right to terminate anyone’s membership if they are deemed in any way dangerous to others on the forum. We take these responsibilities very seriously. This is what appears over every pm sent or received:

Unfortunately, like the wider Internet, BenzoBuddies is not immune from those who would seek to misrepresent themselves as counsellors, doctors, confidants, etc. We have suffered our fair share of those whose only motivation in life is the desire to hurt others. It would be fair to describe one or two of these people as unhinged and a menace. Please do not share your contact information and personal details through the PM (Personal Message) system or the open forum.

Re: call me....
« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am »

megan918

Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

Re: call me....
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2017, 12:18:14 am »

[Buddie]

The book I published is nothing more than a book, I highly doubt you read it to even know anything about me. Don’t go by a title with out even knowing the full story. Judging me without even reading the book. I’m sure you also saw the influencing people I know in Hollywood. Don’t go by a cover, read before judging. My book was based on helping people, I dealt with millions of dollars, believe me my intentions are harmless in this forum. Just wanted to help someone in need. Pretty sure no one here is perfect

Re: call me....
« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2017, 12:20:30 am »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am
Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

That book was based on my mistakes. Mistakes I made when I was in my twenties, I’m now in my thirties and have managed to succeed the right way! Do your research, don’t just look at a book I published. Just saying, people shouldn’t be judging in this forum

Re: call me....
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2017, 12:30:22 am »

[Buddie]

[…],

I would really like this thread deleted. I feel I’m being judged for making an attempt to help someone and help myself as well. I was just seeking help and didn’t know the rules

Re: call me....
« Reply #15 on: May 16, 2017, 12:33:11 am »

megan918

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:30:22 am
[…],

I would really like this thread deleted. I feel I’m being judged for making an attempt to help someone and help myself as well. I was just seeking help and didn’t know the rules

We don’t delete threads that have received replies. It would be best for everyone to just move on now. There are lots of other members who need support and many other threads to post on.

Re: call me....
« Reply #16 on: May 16, 2017, 12:37:52 am »

Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:20:30 am
Quote from: [Buddie] on May 16, 2017, 12:16:30 am
Yes, I Googled you alright, make no mistake about that. Your definition of “success” and “business” is the antithesis of mine. Sad that you’re so proud of your past accomplishments. You go your own way and I’ll go mine.

That book was based on my mistakes. Mistakes I made when I was in my twenties, I’m now in my thirties and have managed to succeed the right way! Do your research, don’t just look at a book I published. Just saying, people shouldn’t be judging in this forum

I’ve already told you that I did my research. You want me to publish more links here? Of your recent “successes”? 

“Mistake”. That’s one of my favorite words   . A mistake is when one takes a left turn whilst meaning to take a right turn, oops. A mistake is NOT something that you DELIBERATELY CHOOSE, time and time and time again. Pre-meditated “mistakes”?

Whatever.

Re: call me....
« Reply #17 on: May 16, 2017, 08:27:54 am »

[Buddie]

Hi all,

[…] is a new member, and whatever failings occurred in his past, he was not hiding them from members since he has posted his real name. He now seems to now understand that because of the potential problem of people seeking to misrepresent themselves at support forums such as BB (to abuse/fleece/trick members), we do not allow personal contact information to be posted here. […] is here for support with his withdrawal from benzodiazepines – members should not judge each other. Unless he does something to prove otherwise, […] should be given the benefit of any doubt, just as we do with all members. After all, we generally do not know the true identity of other members, and all are unvetted.

Thank you.

Re: call me....
« Reply #18 on: May 16, 2017, 09:19:42 am »

[Buddie]

I can vouch for […]. He’s a good person just wanting to help but I can see how the board would be concerned. Not everyone has good intentions. Talking to someone going through the same thing really helps me.

Re: call me....
« Reply #19 on: May 16, 2017, 10:25:05 am »

[Buddie]

It helps me too,that’s why f.b groups are good.yea there’s some evil people out there but if your genuine it does help other people.i speak to people in benzo groups also on the phone some times as it’s a lonely process.but I also understand other people’s concerns too…

Re: call me....
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2017, 10:47:23 am »

[Buddie]

What are some good f.b. groups?

Re: call me....
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2017, 12:49:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you guys for all those nice private messages you’re sending me, I really appreciate the support, unfortunately I don’t know what they did to my account but it does not allow me to respond to any private message. I guess another strategic way of holding me back from finding the help I need. But I want everybody to know I appreciate the messages I just can’t respond to them

Attempt at sex with wife sends cult kook into instant panic

sex did me in
« on: April 28, 2017, 03:43:35 am »

[Buddie]

i just tried to have sex with my wife and sent me into instant panic and anxiiety and dizziness, this crap has to stop i cant take it anymore, my life is on hold anyone else have this problem

Re: sex did me in
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2017, 10:05:27 am »

[Buddie]

I know what you mean.Has sex in Sunday and today I am not good.Cannot sleep and feel dp/dr.Unbelievably.