RELAPSED!

Relapsed
« on: January 22, 2018, 02:41:09 pm »

[Buddie]

I want to join for support as I have relapsed.
I did a successful taper off Klonopin using Ashton from 2012-2014 with help of Psy NP. I cannot go back to him as he has retired and no one took his place.
Took 19 months to get off 4 mg K—was benzo free for 3 years then had A major life trauma — my son committed a crime attempted suicide and I had to help him through the criminal justice system by getting him lawyer and being his support person.
It was a horrible time and I fell apart after it was all over.
I started taking left over K and V I kept from original taper.

Relapsed around March 2017 on small doses – now up to 20-30 mg Valium or 2-3 mg K or a mixture of 5-10 mg V and 1-2 mg K
I am not going to beat myself up for going back on when I knew better.
I am starting down the path of dark hole depression, staying in bed, unable to take care of my house, I know it’s the drugs.
I need to get off and I want to do a CT as these are leftover pills from my table and I am not under a doctors supervision.

Relapsed
« on: January 22, 2018, 02:58:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I did a successful taper off Klonopin using Ashton from 2012-2014 with help of Psy NP. I cannot go back to him as he has retired and no one took his place.
Took 19 months to get off 4 mg K—was benzo free for 3 years then had A major life trauma — my son committed a crime attempted suicide and I had to help him through the criminal justice system by getting him a lawyer and being his support person.
It was a horrible time and I fell apart after it was all over.
I started taking left over K and V I had kept (should have tossed it all) from original taper.
I Relapsed around March 2017 on small doses – now up to 20-30 mg Valium or 2-3 mg K or a mixture of 5-10 mg V and 1-2 mg K. Running low on stach.
I am not going to beat myself up for going back on when I knew better.
I am starting down the path of dark hole depression, staying in bed, unable to take care of my house, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. There is no food in the house because I do not want to shop. I know it’s the drugs and some PTSD from my son.
I need to get off and I want to do a CT as these are leftover pills from my previous taper and I am not under a doctors supervision.
Hello and help!
« Last Edit: January 22, 2018, 03:38:01 pm by [Buddie] »

SAUCYMOUSE LOOKS FOR CHEESE, FINDS MIND CONTROL CULT

if only i'd known!
« on: April 21, 2015, 03:08:48 am »

saucymouse

this site’s a small haven.

a part of me doubts that what i’m going through is benzo withdrawal, as i was only ever taking between 1mg and 2mg of xanax or klonopin once a week to help me sleep, but i had kept up that habit for about 8 months, and after reading about other people’s experiences with withdrawal, i came to realize my symptoms fit the bill pretty well. something just snapped overnight about two months ago, and i haven’t been the same person since. it’s been a nightmare, really, and i have yet to find a medical professional i trust to help me out.

i took an 1/8th of a milligram of clonazapem about two weeks ago and haven’t had any since. things are definitely improved from this time last month, but i am absolutely still not myself. incredibly scatterbrained, terrible memory and focus, bizarre anxieties about nearly everything, alice in wonderland syndrome, tinnitus, songs stuck in my head ALL DAY LONG. i had two panic attacks last month and i’m just waiting waiting waiting for a third one to happen. it’s awfully nerve wracking.

it took me a month to get an appointment with a sliding-scale psychotherapist, and i finally had that meeting last week. it was an introductory/placement kind of thing, but i hope to start therapy with somebody in the coming days.

today i saw a psychiatrist that charged me 150 dollars and after about 45 minutes wrote me a prescription for wellbutrin. i was so upset about the whole situation because the guy just didn’t seem as invested as i’d wanted him to be. he didn’t say that the benzos were outright responsible for what i’m going through either, but said they probably had something to do with it. and if it isn’t the benzos, then something else is wrong with me and i have NO idea what it is and that makes me INCREDIBLY panicked.

i’ve been coming to this website to see if other people had a similar experience taking as little as i had, and so far i think i’ve found a few stories that might be on par.

and i have no idea what to do with this wellbutrin prescription. i read one sentence somewhere that said caution should be taken when using wellbutrin for benzo withdrawal, but there was no elaboration.

but anyway, i’m still looking for some answers i suppose. has this created a long term anxiety issue for me? is a prescription for an antidepressant really something i need? i’ve had lifelong low level anxieties, but i just don’t know what’s ‘normal’ for me or other people and what isn’t. the idea of being on a medication longterm is frightening; i want to be able to rely on only myself to get by. but i’m not sure if that’s the way to do it, and i don’t even feel i can trust the doctor who wrote me the prescription to really understand my feelings.

c’est la vie.

ah and i was also hoping to be able to use the search function. interested in other experiences with wellbutrin. and also alcohol and hangovers. my hangovers are WEIRD and leave me very mentally absent and confused which never used to happen.

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