WEDMAN ENTERS HELL

Wedman Withdrawal
« on: November 06, 2018, 12:01:28 am »

Wedman

I am joining BenzoBuddies because I am going through benzo withdrawal and want to learn more about what to expect. I was on temazepam for 5 years at 30mg at night for sleep. I started experiencing withdrawal about 3 months ago. I have been tapering and now on 7.5mg daily. I expect to finish my taper in 2 weeks. I am on trazadone and gabapentin.

Benzo Buddies orders terrified addict to ignore doctor, reject psychiatric medication

Hello, My Story
« on: August 17, 2018, 01:25:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi. I’m in a bad situation because I decided to smoke weed with friends about three months ago and only one hit threw me into a mood frenzy. I was an insomniac for a week after, non stop crying, paranoid, and panic attacks. So I managed to get 1mg Xanax from a friend which I used for about 14 days at night for sleep to reset my sleep. The last four days, I cut it to .5mg and then .25mg. I then stopped because I felt fine. However, I have been having up and down mood swings, palpitations that make me fear a heart attack, restlessness, shaking, paranoia, and what feels like chronic fatigue. I fear for my life like the weed may have cause tachycardia or mitral valve prolapse. Is this just from my underlying anxiety or the CT from the xanax? I got a shaky episode the other night and had to use one to stop the tremors and feel it was a bad idea. I see a psychiatrist Monday and I am terrified because I can’t tell the doctor about the weed or the xanax because the medicine was not prescribed to me and I could get in trouble. What do I do? I fear my life may never be the same again. I am weak and tremoring as I write this. What if I’m developing mental illness? The only option is for the psych to prescribe me benzos or ssris. I don’t want either.

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2018, 01:37:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello […],

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! I’m sorry you had such a severe effect from marijuana. Some strains can in fact increase anxiety, it appears you might have experienced this. Additionally, there might have been other substances in the marijuana that cause your reaction.

You took xanax for about two weeks. The recommended length of time for taking benzos is a maximum of two to three weeks, so you are right in that time frame. You are most likely feeling the effects from stopping xanax. There is likely to be withdrawal effects of some kind after two weeks of use. I do believe that these symptoms should ease up though, it may take a little while though.

If it were me, I would explain to the doctor what started your issues. If you don’t explain the cause, it is likely that the doctor will diagnose you with an anxiety disorder. If you didn’t have issues like this before using marijuana, then the effects you felt were due to the weed.

Your central nervous system took a hit with the marijuana and xanax. It may take a little while for things to settle, but they will. Try to distract from what you feel so that the fear doesn’t cause more issues.

I’ll give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about benzos and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. The manual does discuss tapering in detail but IMO, I would not suggest this for you. If it were me, I’d stay away from benzos and allow my body to recover.

I’ll also give you a link to the Post Withdrawal Recovery Board where you can post and receive feedback from members.

Your life will be the same, once your system recovers. I know this can be frightening, I felt the same way when I was directed to stop ativan for a medical test. I’m glad you’ve joined, you’ll find a lot of good information and support here. It’s going to be OK.

The Ashton Manual

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

[…]  :)

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2018, 06:29:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm
Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

You don’t have to take any medication if offered. It is your body and you can make the decision as to what to put in it. I didn’t even know what a benzo was when I was prescribed it. I had no idea about it’s potential for dependency or withdrawal. I learned a big lesson; be proactive about what I take and question everything.

It’s been my experience that ‘some’ doctors want to medicate everything when there are other alternatives.

[…] :smitten:

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2018, 07:04:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah. I also forgot to mention that three days before the weed incident, I CT’d beer completely and for the past year I was drinking three to four to five a day. Could that have something to do with what I am going through maybe?

People who joined Benzo Buddies not healed seven years later

Difficult topic - potential for trigger
« on: June 05, 2018, 05:36:07 pm »

[Buddie]

Why are there people still not healed 3,4,5,6,7+ years out? Is there a common theme to this?

I just don’t understand it when the “stats” show that everyone heals between 2-3 years at the latest from the studies that were done. More than that, how do these people who haven’t “healed” this far out manage to live? Are they now working or is someone supporting them financially? I just don’t get how people can simply exist with an illness like this without going completely nuts. Maybe I’m just a lightweight because I am just (and I mean just) getting through each day now at 19/20 months.

Re: Difficult topic - potential for trigger
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2018, 09:14:02 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 05, 2018, 05:36:07 pm
Why are there people still not healed 3,4,5,6,7+ years out? Is there a common theme to this?

I just don’t understand it when the “stats” show that everyone heals between 2-3 years at the latest from the studies that were done. More than that, how do these people who haven’t “healed” this far out manage to live? Are they now working or is someone supporting them financially? I just don’t get how people can simply exist with an illness like this without going completely nuts. Maybe I’m just a lightweight because I am just (and I mean just) getting through each day now at 19/20 months.

Hello […], I think there are many reasons why some of us are taking many years to recover. i am obviously one of them. It may be genetics, underlying health conditions, many complicating factors, sometimes it is very difficult to know. I am lucky, I am 63 and retired, I have a pension and I am okay financially. Not everyone is so fortunate. I am sure you are not a lightweight. For me, I got through it hour by hour, suffering was intolerable, but nevertheless, I got through it. I have very supportive friends but not much in the way of family support. BenzoBuddies was my lifeline for a very very long time. I used many different strategies to distract … as best as I could. But basically I existed ..

None of the stats we have are robust but I think we generally accept that most people will recover in a couple of years and a minority will take longer and a small minority will take even longer. It is important to remember that even when we take quite a number of years to recover we generally improve as I have done so although the first few years were hellish, that does not mean the next few years will also be hellish. I am still not recovered but I am not suffering .. that is all over. I am no longer existing but I am not living either .. but I can cope perfectly well now. Of course I would much rather be living a normal life.

So as much as you are suffering right now, it will get easier. It is extremely unusual for that not to happen. I only know a handful who seem to be getting worse and I have been around for a long time and that may be due to other health issues, I don’t know.

I have never been particularly well so I have had a whole lifetime of coping with illness and disability and that has probably helped me to cope, others will not have that experience to draw on if they have been used to good health.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2018, 09:20:08 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Difficult topic - potential for trigger
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2018, 10:17:11 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on June 05, 2018, 05:36:07 pm
Why are there people still not healed 3,4,5,6,7+ years out? Is there a common theme to this?

I just don’t understand it when the “stats” show that everyone heals between 2-3 years at the latest from the studies that were done.

I am not aware of any study that says that everyone heals within 2-3 years. MOST people certainly heal within that timeframe, but it Ashton herself is pretty clear that this isn’t the case for everyone.

Quote
More than that, how do these people who haven’t “healed” this far out manage to live? Are they now working or is someone supporting them financially?

I am 7 1/2 years off and have seen significant improvement in some symptoms, others not so much so. I was able to start a business when I was about 3 years off and I have recently moved back out on my own again. Every day is still a challenge but somehow I manage to hold it all together.

Quote
I just don’t get how people can simply exist with an illness like this without going completely nuts. Maybe I’m just a lightweight because I am just (and I mean just) getting through each day now at 19/20 months.

You aren’t a lightweight, you are just projecting. MOst people feel better and become more functional with time, so you will probably be better off in a few years.

“Benzo Buddies ruined my life”

How benzobuddies ruined my life, long proctated withdrawal 4 years off
« on: June 01, 2018, 06:12:39 pm »

[Buddie]

my last name here was pil54, in 2014 here i Registered after a fast taper of 7mg prazepam, i was just reinstated 4,5mg and it wasnt enought to stabilized me, i should have gone back to 7mg at least or even more for it to be effective, and restart a slow taper.

Back of that i was first on 20mg, i discovered the Ashton manual and was doing it even slower, reducing 5% every 2 weeks with barely no symptoms at all, all was very manageable, working full time job through it. For one year i tapered from 20mg to 7mg very easily, it wasnt the hell people describe here to taper at all, everyone here who describe hell tapering psych meds is just going too fast . Until i stupidly lost patience andtryed to accelerate and it went hell and i ended cold turkey 7mg

I can remember moderators here telling me ” You are paradoxical you just need to quit and let your brain heal, Accute only last 3 month then it will get better, everyone heal”, That sentence EVERYONE HEAL, you will read it all day by every people here, those all unknow people behind their screen can litteraly destroy all your life if you listen them advices.

Its what i did, and thats what they did, they ruined my whole life, I tapered those last 4,5mg in 3 month, reducing 0,5or 0,25mg every 8 days, and i went severly ill because i wasnt stable at all before tapering, they told me ” dont care accute last 3 month “

Am still in accute 4 yeas later, next month i will be 4 years off every benzo or psych meds, and i never recovered from the symptoms of my fast taper here in 2014,

I still have akathisia, i wake up Everyday in terror with electricity in my whole body, with surge of feeling loosing my mind like i have mania, severe insomnia, depersonnalization that never went away 4 years laters, during those years i developped pots syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome from the daily severe terror my body was experiencing.

They told me ” its normal if withdrawal for years, and i Believe them, i thought it was normal, IT WAS NOT, IT WAS ABSOLUTLY NOT.

Am now living with the crazy idea on my shoulder that i was better 4 years ago while i was doing my slow micro taper, than now 4 years off after my last dose after my failed tapers.

And it’s been the same for my old friends here who Registered in the same generation of me, Hurtbrain, Crazypants, benzommama, rackshka, all those people who tapered wrong and been told they would heal, they are now 4-5-6 years later never healed because of listening people here on that same forum.

That message is to warm the newbies here and all the people suffering to realy inform you before you do a fast taper and listen people here telling you that whatever the way you tapered you will heal, it’s false, its the worse shit every spammed here but its not reality,

Jennyfer Leigh, baylissa,ian singleton, una corbet, They all lie, they all say what you want to hear just to reassurance, but they have no idea how long a brain damage from a rapid taper can take to recover, for years they lied to me saying i would heal if i avoid alcohol and psych meds, I DID, and i never healed 4 years later.

My life is a living hell now because i regret Everyday the mistake i did to listen unknow people advice behind a screen, even my doctor told me to reinstate to my last dosage if i felt sick and retaper slower, it would have been the think to do, instead i trusted that forum

Please inform yourself, the best safe way to escape benzo hell is a micro taper of 5% every 2 weeks of your dosage

83-year-old’s life ruined by cult’s anti-medicine dogma

Coping - I feel like calling the ambulance so I think I'll go for a walk.
« on: March 30, 2018, 07:36:24 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey Buddies! I’m an 83 year old geezer who was on 2.5 mg/day of Klonopin for 25 years as prescribed and have been off for about 22 months. I decided to wean off after realizing that the strange symptoms I had been experiencing for several years were due to tolerance withdrawal. The docs merrily prescribed this stuff without the slightest indication of the inherent risks involved. In any case, I thought it might be useful to my fellow sufferers to learn about my current circumstances given my history.

My typical day starts at about 6:30 AM after a night of fitful frequently interrupted sleep. My bed feels like a war zone. Feeling a bit dizzy and light-headed I make breakfast and sit down to read the paper. About an hour into it I begin to feel like a pall is settling over me; my brain feels leaden (physically) and my thinking becomes wooly. My whole body feels heavier and less responsive and my dizziness increases. I feel faint. An icy-hot sensation blooms over the skin of my arms and legs. With growing agitation I ask myself what the hell is going on? Do I have some horrible tumor like a carcinoid (which causes flushes) or pancreatic cancer? Do I have MS or lupus? I feel like I can hardly move, should I call the ambulance? Then, what’s left of my cerebral cortex sends a directive – Screw this! That’s no way to live! If you’re gonna go, go down swinging; get your ass in gear! (I need a bit of bravado at that point.) So I struggle to my feet, put on a jacket, unlimber my outdoor walker (My back is so bad I can no longer walk any significant distance without one. I wrecked my back running 12 miles/day in my 40s as a means of coping with job stress. I switched from running to Klonopin. Alas.) and head out. I take my driver’s license so I can be identified in case I keel over along the way. But amazingly I start to feel better almost immediately. My head clears, my spirits lift, and the leaden feeling disappears. I go as fast as I can up and down the hills in the neighborhood, covering about 2.5 miles in about 40 minutes, puffing all the way. People stare – who’s this decrepit old weirdo race-walking with his walker? But hey, when I get home I feel much better than when I started out and this exercise-induced window lasts for a few hours, after which that pall, somewhat less intense, begins to settle again. If I could only keep going flat out physically I think all my symptoms (except the skin sensations, which continue to come and go during the exercise) would be alleviated but, alas, this is impossible.

So folks, this is what one benzo sufferer’s life is like. It’s doable though not easy and at my age I don’t feel sanguine about the possibility of completely healing. The most beneficial coping strategy for me is to keep exercising as much as possible. Keep the blood flowing to all those damaged neurons! That will facilitate whatever healing is going to occur.

I don’t know if any of this will be helpful, but I hope so. Best of luck benzo-warriors!