I really can’t take this paranoia anymore it’s ruining my life
« on: January 08, 2021, 03:46:36 am »
Hi everyone. I hope that you all are hanging in there tonight. I am not. The paranoia, which has been probably my worst symptom, is just getting worse and worse. I went to my girlfriend’s house last night after not having seen her for a week. Every little thing she said I felt like she was messing with me, criticizing me and trying to control me and judging me. I ended up getting upset with her over a game of cards. I felt like such a jerk. I don’t feel any love towards her and she just irritates me yet I don’t believe her when she says she loves me and I’m afraid she’s gonna leave me any second. It sucks because just a few days ago all I felt was how much I missed her and loved her. These emotional roller coasters make me feel like I’m bipolar. I feel so scared of everyone. I feel like I don’t wanna be around anyone because I’m so paranoid that everyone thinks I’m crazy or messed up. I feel unlovable and utterly worthless, and like I don’t understand how anyone could wanna have anything to do with me. When she tells me she loves me or friends tell me they love me I just think that they’re full of shit. I don’t believe anyone and I have no feelings except for anger and fear and deep sadness. I don’t feel like I’m in my body ever. I feel like I’m watching myself from up above. What have I become?
"HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM PLEASEBEHERE"???
« on: June 03, 2017, 02:02:20 am »
I am wondering if anyone has heard from Please, she has not been on since May 1, this year. Please was having a rough time, but she would come on and ask for help and she read all she could to try to help her situation. For those who knew Please, really knew her, she was a caring person and was trying so hard to get off of the benzo that was making her so very sick. We shared some Pm’s and I know others heard from her also. Worried and hope that someone has heard from her and she is doing better, or just needed to get away for a bit.
What's the point of holding on?
« on: December 04, 2015, 11:26:09 am »
What’s the pointing of existing when nothing is getting better? I am so sick and tired of this and there’s nothing anybody can write to make me feel better. Sick and tired of this hell. I didn’t sign up for this, I am tired, tired, tired. It’s all temporary. Yeah, right. I hate this, hate this, hate this.
Maybe I should just stop taking the stupid pills and whatever happens, happens…..
Christmas Carols for Buddies
Micro-Tapering — The Twelve Years of Tapering
On my first year of tapering my one true guru Ashton sent to me
A giant boatload of diazepam
On my second year of tapering my one true guru Ashton sent to me
two trips to the nuthouse
and a giant boatload of diazepam
On my third year of tapering my one true guru Ashton sent to me
three electroshock treatments
two trips to the nuthouse
and a giant boatload of diazepam …
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and …
Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
Oppositional Defiant Disorder — Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better not cry – Oh yes I will
You better not shout – I can if I want to
You better not pout – Can if I want to
I’m telling you why – Not listening
Santa Claus is coming to town – No he’s not!!
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia — I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Bad Wave — Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
Involuntary Psychiatric Hold — Over the River Aand Through the Woods To The Funny House We Go
Paranoia — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy
OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy
Can I have chocolate
Why is France so far away?
Doctor Hate — I Saw Mommy Kissing Dr. Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Amnesia — I Don’t Remember If I’ll be Home for Christmas
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells …
5150 — Away in A Psych Ward