“I cried for an hour to my parents”

Upset
« on: December 06, 2020, 09:09:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I did ok with coffee yesterday. Was fine for 6 hours after.
Then I got super stressed. I took my kids to a bday party and my dog groomer called me during it demanding I pick up my dogs half finished because she had a vet emergency with another dog at her shelter.
So I had to leave the bday party, get my dogs and bring them home and then go back to the party. I was really upset.
Then my symptoms started up.
I didn’t know if it was from cake, coffee or stress.

Then today I got another bill from my lawyer. This lawyer gave me bad advice that started a fight between my ex and me. She told me to withhold my kids and she had been wrong. She just billed me again for the left over charges. I emailed her and reminded her that it was her fault I needed her services in the first place for bad advice.
Then I cried for an hour to my parents about stress and finances.
Took a few sips of coffee
And now I’m buzzing.

I don’t know if I’m reacting from coffee/sugar or stress.
I guess I’ll lay off the coffee and see if these symptoms keep happening
They’ve happened before. So I’m not confident it’s from coffee….

Benzo Buddies kooks discover new fear: lawn fertilizer

Lawn fertilizer exposure - please talk me out of anxiety over this
« on: November 02, 2020, 06:02:32 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi guys,

I’m having major anxiety attacks over this… I’m hoping it’s irrational? My neighbor had her grass fertilized today. My husband noticed that some of our garbage had blown into her yard, so he walked into the yard while the sprinklers were running to pick it up then immediately got into our car to drive it up the driveway. I have to leave to pick up my child from school in the same car and I’m having near panic attacks about having to get into the car with fertilizer residue all over the driver’s side floor. I’m worried about inhalation or any kind of exposure to it. I don’t know if I’m reactive to fertilizer at all, but I feel so fragile in this state that I worry about anything and everything. Is there any reason to worry over this? Please help… I feel like I’m drowning in anxiety.

Cult women claim benzos cause them to grow moustaches

Facial hair loss
« on: June 28, 2020, 05:06:21 am »

[Buddie]

Any males experienced this? I first noticed it about a month ago and since then it’s fallen out and thinned our considerably with large patches with no hair.
I don’t know if this is Benzo related or not.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 05:48:13 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Facial hair loss
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 01:14:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m female and have lost hair on head but growing a moustache.

Addict starts downing kpins, with a vodka chaser, after taper fails

Confession -- Reinstatement -- I don't know what to do
« on: June 09, 2020, 09:06:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Three days ago, my akathisia, intrusive thoughts, irritability got so bad. It had been just over one month without klonopin. I wanted to celebrate, but the perceputal distortions, dp/dr, and other symptoms were bad too. I literally was afraid of losing control. I had these awful tics — was laying on the floor screaming “F— you” to any car going by. I had strong urges to yell at my wife, tear stuff off shelves, etc. Mind you, **this is not me.** I was never like this before withdrawal.

Long story short, I felt hopeless and desperate, because I can’t put myself at risk of being like this every day. I took some Kpin and dashed it down with vodka (maybe equivalent of 3 shots). I am not even a drinker — I don’t even like alcohol, so this is not a “pattern” mind you — I just needed reprieve from these tics and thoughts until I could figure out a new strategy, because this CT isn’t working. I had terrible panic and tightness all day long, plus ‘mental akathisia,’ unable to escape my own brain. I am afraid for my future. I cannot stay married like this and do this to my family. Well now that was 3 days ago, the withdrawals are going to kick in again. I really went and did it this time. I thought the worst of the acutes would peak by month one but clearly I was wrong. How to taper a med that’s paradoxical? Seems a V crossover is my only chance but my doc won’t do it.

Irrational fear of furniture forces Bigglesworth to sleep on the floor (furniturephobia can be treated with medication)

Was exposed to insecticides please help!!
« on: September 24, 2019, 04:02:41 pm »

Mpershe

Please, please no triggering comments. On Friday evening we had to have our master bedroom and bathroom and my sons room sprayed (baseboards) with insecticides due to carpet beetles. They said to not go in the room for 2 hours but we left the house for 24 to be safe. I am now in acute with horrific chemical anxiety, no sleep, can barely function because mental and cognitive are so bad. The product is no longer ‘airborne’ but something has gone terribly wrong!! I’m still tApering, I’m on.16mgs klonipin but now holding. Please, anyone help me!!! (The product the used was onslaught)
My husband is going to wipe the baseboards down tonight and I’m not sleeping in there but it’s sohard to even be in my house as I’m afraid to get worse!

Re: Was exposed to insecticides please help!!
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2019, 03:10:53 am »

Bigglesworth

So sorry youre going through this. I can relate as I have severe chemical sensitivity, and cannot even be around new furniture without having breathing difficulties and over stimulation of my nervous system. I actually sleep on the floor in my bedroom with just a pile of pillows and some old blankets, because I am allergic to every new mattress I’ve tried. So much for claims of being hypoallergenic. All that memory foam stuff is a toxic nightmare for me.

I see this post is a week old so I hope you were able to get the situation under control and are feeling better.

“All of this led me to start obtaining illicit benzos and just eating them like candy… I took the first one and I could feel a wave of euphoria run over me as the anxiety melted away into nothing… I’m not an addict!”

How to deal with the doctor
« on: July 01, 2018, 02:47:49 pm »

[Buddie]

Ill start at the beginning of my story as I feel its appropriate. I developed psychosis when I started university 4 years ago which was debilitating and somewhat scary this then led to me doing cocaine and somewhat overdosing. Since the OD I haven’t touched coke but it seems that the psychosis and OD had left me with severe anxiety. I went along to the GP who gave me a range of drugs which included diazepam and zopiclone and I would just go back and see the doctor from time to time and get more diazepam and zopiclone as needed. Now I didn’t take them everyday just when I had to do something that would really aggravate me. Now I have no doubt I got addicted to the diazepam as soon as I took the first one, it was just 2mg but it was pure bliss, I took the first one and I could feel a wave of euphoria run over me as the anxiety melted away into nothing and I felt normal which I hadn’t done in a long time.

I then had to move GP’s but it was fine as they sent me to a psych who instead of giving me 2mg when I felt like it she gave me 5mg 3x a day. Now at the time the 2mg just didn’t do anything and I don’t know why I kept taking them as they weren’t working except for sleep. Now I’m sure this should have been a warning sign to the doctor of impending dependence but it didn’t cross anybody’s mind. This GP was fine and handed them out like candies which was great (to me at the time) but then I again had to move due to uni but this time it was much further away from home in another county.

This is where the full nightmare begins, I go register at the nearest GP and make an appointment to set up repeat prescriptions. This is where I find out there are some really tricky, untrustworthy worthless doctors who shouldn’t be in the profession. I tell him what I was on with the boxes so he can see for himself and an actual unfilled prescriptions. I was on 2 anti d’s, stomach things, codeine and diazepam with an occasional zopiclone. This doctor rather than being helpful and courteous goes off on me about have diazepam and codeine are addictive and proceedes to tell me I will only be getting the one prescription on diazepam off him and that would be my lot.

So I continue just taking them as normal and when I come to run out I make an appointment to get more to which he refused. I left and started going into withdrawal after the second day which was truly horrific and I really couldn’t cope with it all. I make another appointment with the doctor whom again refuses the diazepam but give me zopiclone to help me sleep (only 10 3.75mg tablets and I was on 7.5mg). This gave me 7 days of comfort from the withdrawals and to make a plan on what to do. In the end I ordered them of the internet as I couldn’t trust my doctor to deliver appropriate care so had to take the matter into my own hands. Anyway I ran out of zopiclone and went back to the doctor with withdrawals but this time the withdrawals were taking there toll, I this time beg the doctor for more diazepam and said that it wasn’t fair that he abruptly stopped my medication and was agains prescription guidelines. All he said to me was “that is not true and the typical response from a drug seeking patient“, I didn’t know what to do I mean I’m not an addict but this hurt me that he could have been so cruel while I just wanted help. This led me to attack the doctor which wasn’t my finest moment and was kicked out of uni.

All of this led me to start obtaining illicit benzos and just eating them like candy. The accusations and non help of a doctor again happened when I moved practice again and went round the same thing again.

Now I’m on a stable dose of 3mg of Lorazepam which I really want to come off using diazepam but would need the doctors help to do this. Im planning on another doctors office to see if I can get anywhere with them as I’m desperate to come off these drugs now and need proper help. Ive also been refused therapy, counselling and mental health services and am currently seeing a addiction centre for it but they haven’t deal with benzos before so don’t know what they are doing at all and I really don’t trust them, I meant how can I cut up a rather small tablet into 16 evenly sized pieces? How the hell do I do this it really seems impossible for me at the moment and I also dosnt help I’m on probation so if I get caught with them I have to serve at least 6 months in prison.

End Psychiatry has epic meltdown

Follow the link to read all the comments.

A sampling:

The damages are to my reputation. The statements also effect me psychologically and make me fear for my life as I am a political dissident in my own country and I speak against state backed psychiatric torture. Calling me ‘crazy’ et al leaves me at serious risk of being tortured. I am psychologically damaged from these types of defamatory statements made in public.” – DC

“Jesus Christ man, let it go. Seems to me you don’t want anyone else’s opinion on any matter. If you don’t want an opinion, then don’t take it. There’s no need to make a storm out of a tea cup. And yes, you seem to love a rant. I write a one sentence comment and you reply 5 times with several paragraphs. That is a rant. Surely you have more important things to worry about than my opinion? IMO saying you have head issues is not slander. You think it is. You’re going to court anyway so you’ll find out. Why is this an argument? Why is this an issue that’s taking up your valuable time? I hope you get what you’re looking for. Good luck. No need to rant on and on about it.” – MA

“I’m blocking now. It’s just not fair for this poor guy. He’s going to have a meltdown if he has to continue replying to all of these comments. I’m just in a state of shock! It’s pure insanity!” – MA

End Psychiatry oh and you’re stalking my personal page too. You know slanderous comments are only slander if they’re not true right? You’re doing a great job making a case for the opposition here…” – MA

“Maybe dont end psychiatry…it might be needed haha” – LW

Do you always wake up in the morning and think about how you can derail civil rights movements and jeopardize the safety of human beings?” – DC

“Can someone explain this to me?The only reason I’m here is due to the admins reputation for blocking people and making unsupported claims. You’re making yourself internet famous due to posts like this…..you’re the one posting mate. Can you really blame them for laughing at your child like responses?” – MB

Ryan Owen so are you implying the statement ‘you definitely have head issues’ is factual? Do you have any evidence to support this assertion if that is your assertion?” – DC

“Mate I was actually trying to help you. This post makes you look crazy AF!!!” – RO

Does psychiatric torture make you happy? Does it make you happy to jeopardize the safety of those I represent by publicly claiming my messages about psychiatric torture of human beings and slander of those who speak out for them ‘makes me look crazy af’?

“You weren’t tortured you were medicated and from my point of view with good reason.” – RO

I was born to lead, get used to it” – DC

It’s the same guy swapping between accounts….it’s pretty funny. We’ve known the whole time. No one agrees with him so he swaps accounts and likes his own comments…..Bwahahaha.” – MB

“I am in the same matter here, in a shabby abandoned locked Ward, London Brixton, not the first time, this time for a compensation due to medical negligence. Taking pictures and videos as well and all sorts of evidence material. Time has changed. International medicine has changed to respect the union of body mind and soul. This is just a hoax of the pharmaceutical industry and repetitive if we go back in time when the concentration camps sold individuals to Bayer for experiments.” – KIS

“Is this a joke?” – PF

“Sadly the admin is real….I thought it was fake too!! He uses fake accounts and likes his own comments but this moron is definitely real.” – MB