Benzo confessions...feel free to add yours
« on: June 22, 2021, 07:14:20 pm »
Sometimes, I’m afraid to open my email because it might be more than I can handle.
I have a phobia of my phone and checking messages
Sometimes, I go weeks without going to my mailbox.
I’m kinda terrified of my mom because she knocks too loudly and comes unexpectedly.
I strongly dislike the smell of food cooking like bread, cookies, garlic, and most everything.
The smell of my neighbor’s barbecue is too strong.
I strongly dislike the smell of fabric softener and dryer sheets in the air outside.
When my neighbors slam their cupboard doors, it makes me go crazy in my head. ???
« on: December 06, 2020, 09:09:26 pm »
I did ok with coffee yesterday. Was fine for 6 hours after.
Then I got super stressed. I took my kids to a bday party and my dog groomer called me during it demanding I pick up my dogs half finished because she had a vet emergency with another dog at her shelter.
So I had to leave the bday party, get my dogs and bring them home and then go back to the party. I was really upset.
Then my symptoms started up.
I didn’t know if it was from cake, coffee or stress.
Then today I got another bill from my lawyer. This lawyer gave me bad advice that started a fight between my ex and me. She told me to withhold my kids and she had been wrong. She just billed me again for the left over charges. I emailed her and reminded her that it was her fault I needed her services in the first place for bad advice.
Then I cried for an hour to my parents about stress and finances.
Took a few sips of coffee
And now I’m buzzing.
I don’t know if I’m reacting from coffee/sugar or stress.
I guess I’ll lay off the coffee and see if these symptoms keep happening
They’ve happened before. So I’m not confident it’s from coffee….
Lawn fertilizer exposure - please talk me out of anxiety over this
« on: November 02, 2020, 06:02:32 pm »
I’m having major anxiety attacks over this… I’m hoping it’s irrational? My neighbor had her grass fertilized today. My husband noticed that some of our garbage had blown into her yard, so he walked into the yard while the sprinklers were running to pick it up then immediately got into our car to drive it up the driveway. I have to leave to pick up my child from school in the same car and I’m having near panic attacks about having to get into the car with fertilizer residue all over the driver’s side floor. I’m worried about inhalation or any kind of exposure to it. I don’t know if I’m reactive to fertilizer at all, but I feel so fragile in this state that I worry about anything and everything. Is there any reason to worry over this? Please help… I feel like I’m drowning in anxiety.
Facial hair loss
« on: June 28, 2020, 05:06:21 am »
Any males experienced this? I first noticed it about a month ago and since then it’s fallen out and thinned our considerably with large patches with no hair.
I don’t know if this is Benzo related or not.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 05:48:13 am by [Buddie] »
Re: Facial hair loss
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 01:14:55 pm »
I’m female and have lost hair on head but growing a moustache.
Confession -- Reinstatement -- I don't know what to do
« on: June 09, 2020, 09:06:09 pm »
Three days ago, my akathisia, intrusive thoughts, irritability got so bad. It had been just over one month without klonopin. I wanted to celebrate, but the perceputal distortions, dp/dr, and other symptoms were bad too. I literally was afraid of losing control. I had these awful tics — was laying on the floor screaming “F— you” to any car going by. I had strong urges to yell at my wife, tear stuff off shelves, etc. Mind you, **this is not me.** I was never like this before withdrawal.
Long story short, I felt hopeless and desperate, because I can’t put myself at risk of being like this every day. I took some Kpin and dashed it down with vodka (maybe equivalent of 3 shots). I am not even a drinker — I don’t even like alcohol, so this is not a “pattern” mind you — I just needed reprieve from these tics and thoughts until I could figure out a new strategy, because this CT isn’t working. I had terrible panic and tightness all day long, plus ‘mental akathisia,’ unable to escape my own brain. I am afraid for my future. I cannot stay married like this and do this to my family. Well now that was 3 days ago, the withdrawals are going to kick in again. I really went and did it this time. I thought the worst of the acutes would peak by month one but clearly I was wrong. How to taper a med that’s paradoxical? Seems a V crossover is my only chance but my doc won’t do it.
Was exposed to insecticides please help!!
« on: September 24, 2019, 04:02:41 pm »
Please, please no triggering comments. On Friday evening we had to have our master bedroom and bathroom and my sons room sprayed (baseboards) with insecticides due to carpet beetles. They said to not go in the room for 2 hours but we left the house for 24 to be safe. I am now in acute with horrific chemical anxiety, no sleep, can barely function because mental and cognitive are so bad. The product is no longer ‘airborne’ but something has gone terribly wrong!! I’m still tApering, I’m on.16mgs klonipin but now holding. Please, anyone help me!!! (The product the used was onslaught)
My husband is going to wipe the baseboards down tonight and I’m not sleeping in there but it’s sohard to even be in my house as I’m afraid to get worse!
Re: Was exposed to insecticides please help!!
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2019, 03:10:53 am »
So sorry youre going through this. I can relate as I have severe chemical sensitivity, and cannot even be around new furniture without having breathing difficulties and over stimulation of my nervous system. I actually sleep on the floor in my bedroom with just a pile of pillows and some old blankets, because I am allergic to every new mattress I’ve tried. So much for claims of being hypoallergenic. All that memory foam stuff is a toxic nightmare for me.
I see this post is a week old so I hope you were able to get the situation under control and are feeling better.