Husband wants back on pills after Ashton taper leaves him unable to get off floor

At the risk of incurring the wrath of everyone here...
« on: October 09, 2017, 01:58:31 pm »

[Buddie]

my husband has been benzo free for 4 months and 1 week, and he is considering reinstating!!  :'(  It’s just too much. He feels like he will have an actual breakdown. He is being driven by the intrusive thoughts about his symptoms never getting better. He is lying on the floor all day, hardly able to walk to the bathroom, watching a few benign things on tv (but still on mute), but mostly panicked about his breathing symptoms. He still can’t feel himself breathing -loss of sensation in nostrils/numb nose/feels like nose is blocked/feels like nose is collapsing- and his nose is getting drier still and black chunks are coming off the walls. Really bad air hunger from (seemingly) the incredibly tight muscles in his chest. Throat constriction. This is hell folks.

I know the mantra on this site is to soldier through, but seriously, I had to invoke the Baker Act 5 years ago, and he was put on these benzos after that. He might not make it through this.

I’m sure I’m going to get a slew of “you can’t do it” posts, and “don’t reinstate” posts, but seriously, if you have experience with late reinstatement, or reinstatement that relieved your physical symptoms, I want to hear them. Even if you tell me it relieved it at the time, but you wish you hadn’t because it kindled the next withdrawal, at least tell me that you got some relief initially.

Alternately, if you had similar nose issues, when did they get better for you?

Elderly forced into years-long tapers

Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« on: September 26, 2017, 12:52:06 pm »

[Buddie]

I was wondering if there are any here who are over 60 years of age and tapering. I feel it is a lot harder now that I am older. I am going to press on with this at a very slow taper rate. I don’t care how long it takes, as long as I have minimal to no symptoms. I need to be able to function and want quality of life. Just thought I would inquire. Thanks.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2017, 02:11:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I was 62 when I began my taper, which, of necessity was a fast taper. Though it took me a long time to heal, I don’t regret it at this point, and am much better for being off benzos. It really was worth it. I’m 5.5 years off now.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2017, 02:26:09 pm »

[Buddie]

I completed my taper just after my 60th birthday. Now I am recovered and I feel good and I feel young again. I’m so glad I tapered off this crap. It’s worth doing at any age.
Love,
[…]

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2017, 04:56:22 pm »

[Buddie]

I will be 58 tomorrow so not quite 60 but close enough. I did a slow taper but I am still having issues. I don’t know that it can be avoided completely. Good luck with your taper. I am sure it will all be worth it in the end.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2017, 07:30:57 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 64 but don’t know if there is a big difference between tapering at 20-30 years old or 50-60 years old. I just know that whatever time I have left, I want to be totally drug free including antidepressants that don’t work anyway.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2017, 07:37:04 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 61 and took my last xanax May 31st 2016. I tapered for four months and in hindsight I think my healing would have been smoother if I had gone a bit slower on the taper. I am so grateful at this point though to be free of xanax- the battle was worth it. I am living a pretty normal life now and most symptoms have lessened to a tolerable level. I wanted to give you hope that there is life on the other side even when you are 60 or older.

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 08:22:56 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m 68 and have been doing a very slow taper for years. For the most part I have been functional. My fears made and still do make the symptoms much worse! I’m down to 1.75mgs of Valium now. I was only on xanax .25 mgs for sleep for 18 months. I have been tapering on Valium for 4 years. I had some very long holds due to life altering events. I have never updosed. I have learned so much about myself during the last 4 years. I’m grateful for that. I look forward to the future and I know the best is yet to come! I do think age has an impact on tapering. My doctor agrees. Best of luck to you! 

Re: Being Over 60 and Tapering?
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 09:43:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you all for the encouragement and hope! It’s never too late and I know that I will feel much better when it is completed. Going low and slow is key. 4 years is what I think I may be looking at. That is fine as long as I can function. I have a mother who will be 90 in a few months and have to make sure she is doing well. She lives 3 hours away and I have to be able to travel and keep going. Sometimes we have no control over life’s circumstances and it does get harder as we get older. I also have some friends who are sick and I try to see them and help with their care. I am a retired RN so I still have the nurse in me. My husband is very supportive even though he can’t understand. I have sometimes say no to doing too much activity wise. I commend you all for your determination and positive attitudes! Thank you so much!
Happy Birthday […]!

Benzo addicts lament glory days of getting high

So...tried pot
« on: September 18, 2017, 03:06:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I live in NV so thought I would try some pot. Being 67 and remembering the great times back when. The good feeling and calmness I felt. Well, not now. I tried it a couple of times and felt wired, with no sense of well-being at all. Never again. How messed up is my body that it doesn’t react at all like a healthy body. My cns is so out of balance. I really feel this is for the rest of my life. 38 months out lots have healed, but my insomnia and fatigue is pretty much holding the same. In a very sad way, I have accepted it finally. Early on really thought I would get a life back. Oh well, tell myself I had 55 or so quite wonderful years. Many have not had that, with or without benzo use. I am grateful for those memories, as that is what gets me through the long lonely days and nights. Hugs to all.😏

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2017, 03:08:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh that’s too bad. Maybe it’s the strain? Either way, that doesn’t like fun.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2017, 03:13:29 pm »

[Buddie]

Oh, don’t give up now, […]!! I’m 65 and 42 months out. I have to keep telling myself I’m going to make it through this. I don’t want to have my immune system go down for some damned drugs I’ve taken. I tried pot, too, in earlier times. Had wonderful experiences on it before. Especially liked it for exercising. I should have stayed with it instead of being put on a benzo, but at that time I thought “do the right thing” since it was illegal. HAH!! What a crock. Now I don’t feel the same way at all and had to forget about pot. It’s just not the same feeling anymore, unfortunately.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 03:15:19 pm »

[Buddie]

If you tried a high THC strain, that’s why. I would suggest trying a high CBD strain instead. I don’t know how long you’ve been off, but high THC would throw many folks into paranoia.

Re: So...tried pot
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2017, 03:45:56 pm »

[Buddie]

That isn’t the pot from your youth. It’s so much stronger. I’d guess that most of the stuff I did in high school (easy 70s) was 5-6% THC (maybe 8% if we got really good stuff). Nowadays, it’s usually 20% or higher, and can approach 30%. You have to take that into account and go super easy on it when you’re first starting (or re-starting).

Much depends on the strain as some have eluded to. Some strains make me all hyper (good for getting things done, but not for calming down). Some mellow me out. Those are the ones I seek to help with sleep. Best relaxing/sedating strain I found so far has a lot of myrcene (a terpene) in it.

Another route, as […] mentioned, was to add some CBD to the mix. A lot of people like strains that are moderate in both THC and CBD. Some use strains that are almost all CBD. So many choices today, so much information. Not like scoring a dime bag of whatever was available (often little better than ditch weed) back in the day.

Flick?

Klonopin eater goes on hate-filled doctor-bashing rant

Is the System evil or ignorant?
« on: September 01, 2017, 10:44:05 pm »

[Buddie]

Is anyone else ANGRY at the doctor who turned you into a drug addict? I submit that most doctors ignorantly believe if patients take their meds as prescribed, there won’t be any issues. Here’s the problem: Your brain doesn’t give a flying f%@$ about US law or what your doctor thinks. All it knows is that it’s regularly been influenced by a powerful psychoactive and it wants more. We’re every bit as much an addict as anyone else, and our addiction can actually kill if you just stop taking it. It also creates the longest and most horrific withdrawal known to man. (I’ve confirmed this with heroin addicts, alcoholics, meth addicts, anyone who has been through a withdrawal). Heroin addicts feel sorry for me! No one is taking responsibility for ruining lives by the million in the name of the almighty dollar.

Pharmaceutical companies send hot girls to doctors offices to persuade them to hand out their drugs. Wtf?! Our society is so brainwashed by the DSM-V, thinking about which acronym fits them because life sucks sometimes for everyone but there has to be something wrong with you. ADHD, OCD, PTSD, GAD, MDD…choose a f@$!ing acronym so you can become a lifetime customer.

We’ve all gone through he’ll because our doctor’s either didn’t know or didn’t care what they were doing. Our society gives so much reverence to doctors…we trust them implicitly because they went to med school. My doctor literally opened Web MD when prescribing my klonopin. They’re not f@$&ING special, they’re human beings just like anyone. They are succeptible to greed and the powers that be are so god damned cocky they don’t even attempt to hide the fact that the people we trust with our health are being bribed by drug companies. Doctors who prescribe things they don’t understand have betrayed the public trust and should be dealt with accordingly. They’re drug dealers…in every sense of the word. We have a war on drugs that imprisons people for smoking a plant while the system were supposed to trust is getting us hooked on the drugs they can profit from.

Anyone who has suffered as I have suffered must surely feel the same injustice. I got out of the military after serving honorably for 6 years…I told my doctor I didn’t feel quite right. Then I was a drug addict. Klonopin took everything in my life. I barely survived it….and that piece of shit probably did the same thing to someone today.

No one should ever go through what I’ve been through. Helping people who are suffering with hope and advise is great, but shouldn’t we be doing something to stop the system that put us here? The average person has no idea what a benzo is…if they tell their doctor they’ve been anxious lately, chances are they’re gonna join our ranks. How do we save those people?

2015: Kooks add vibrating genitals to list of 90,000,000 benzo withdrawal symptoms

Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« on: April 12, 2015, 11:28:49 am »

[Buddie]

I’m just gonna come out and say it! Does anyone else’s genitals vibrate, not in a good way LOL

I mean when I’m in a wave like NOW I literally vibrate all over all day and night, not shake, vibrate but even my genitals vibrate it’s the weirdest thing. If that isn’t a sign of my nervous system being messed up I don’t know what is!

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

Last wave lasted three weeks, God I hope this one passes quicker  :-X

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2015, 11:49:39 am »

[Buddie]

Now THIS is a new one…lol….sorry to laugh at your pain, but my feet and hands are vibrating so it comes from a place of understanding….i needed that laugh though. I suppose anywhere with nerves can buzz.

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
 « Reply #2 on: April 13, 2015, 12:34:49 am »

[Buddie]

My genitals don’t vibrate, but I have a lot of wet dreams almost one every other night! My genitals are super sensitive….

Re: Vibrating Genitals?!?!?
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2015, 01:24:59 am »

[Buddie]

When I was 9 days off benzos through a detox I could not feel my genitals. Like, it felt like they weren’t even there. No sensation whatever. You could’ve kneed me in the balls and I don’t think I would’ve felt it.

I was so terrified and went to the ER right away where, after examination, they told me everything was fine and nothing physically was wrong with me. After being terrified that this would last a long time, it went away about a week later or so.

I thought I was prepared for withdrawal, but that one took me by surprise.

With your situation, I’m like 99% sure that it’s all because of withdrawals, nothing to do with any physical abnormality. Don’t worry about it when it comes along.

Hospitals equal torture?

Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« on: July 24, 2017, 03:07:21 pm »

[Buddie]

Doing some research I think that I have found a hospital outside of Boston Massachusetts that has some knowledge of benzo tapering and withdrawal. I have contacted the program’s director and I’m hoping to get a response sometime soon. I have been struggling with benzos for years and am worn out. I am hoping to find somebody that can really help me and not just a script doctor.

http://www.mcleanhospital.org/news/2016/08/02/tapering-addictive-therapies
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 04:57:12 pm by [Buddie]

Re: Mclean's Hospital Boston MA
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2017, 03:16:39 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi,

I understand how you feel, but please be very careful about hospital “detoxes.” I went through one several years ago, in a major Seattle hospital where the doctor was supposed to be a “benzo expert.” They cold turkeyed me the minute I walked in the door, monitored my blood pressure for a few days, then sent me home to endure hellish long-term withdrawal symptoms alone. I only saw the doctor once, for a few minutes, and it cost me many thousands of dollars. Many others here have similar experiences with hospital detoxes. “Detox” is designed for alcohol and street drugs, not benzos, which require a much longer recovery period.

For long term users, the best way to get off benzos is to taper slowly at home. It’s not always easy, but it generally leads to milder symptoms in the long run.