Security and Search Bar « on: April 08, 2019, 05:49:57 am »
In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that my 4G cellular unlimited data has turned to 5g which I believe is no better then what was before. So pay more get less.
But not the REAL question. My supposed new 5g service to here, now, shows the search bar for benzobuddies is not secure with an open pad lock on the search bar. Never saw this before. Not nagging: Just paying attention. Stay safe All.
A year of an opioid addiction followed by a year of a Klonopin prescription « on: March 07, 2019, 10:21:14 am »
It has not been a good 2 years. January 2017 I began abusing Oxycodone and other opioids. I knew I was heading down a dark tunnel but I didn’t care. I was severely depressed and it was the only thing that made me feel better. That didn’t last long. I spent about a month in rehab in November 2017 and got clean. From opiates, at least. When I got out of rehab my anxiety was so bad I ended up going to the emergency room and they gave me a shot of Valium and a bottle of 90 1mg Clonazepam and told me to take up to 3mg a day as needed. I quickly realized that was too high of a dose for me and ended up taking 1 to 1.5mg a day. I’m currently taking 2mg a day and I feel like my anxiety and depression have returned with a vengeance. I spend a majority of my time sleeping, smoking weed, and watching TV. I have no urge to hang out with any of my friends and have become a recluse. Everything feels like a chore, even eating. I’m 6 foot and 150 pounds. I’m in college and I can barely make it to class. Even when I go I feel like it’s pointless because I don’t remember anything. I feel like Clonazepam has ruined my memory. I used to be able to get all A’s and a few B’s in my classes without studying much. Now I study more than ever and I can barely remember the last page I read. While I was abusing opiates I definitely was not in a good state of mind and it completely fried my dopamine receptors but I feel like the effects Klonopin have had on my brain are even worse. I’m only 22 and feel like if I stay on this drug I’m gonna have Alzheimers by 30. I’m dedicated to tapering off but taking it slow. I just have a few questions I’d like to ask the community if anyone has some input. How long do the memory problems last? Do you notice your memory start to “come back” once getting off benzos? What are some tips to help improve benzo induced memory loss? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward... « Reply #22 on: January 20, 2019, 12:35:31 am »
Quote from: [Buddie] on January 19, 2019, 07:19:22 pm
Hope you are holding up, […]. Things hit the fan here because all my cuts caught up with me in a really bad way, so I can definitely sympathize with what you are going through. I’m in a holding pattern because this has become too much to bear.
I hope you are doing ok. Sometimes life can be dealt with only 1 minute at a time.
I’ve also had an attempt in 2016, so I understand all too well. Stabilizing is the most important thing now. I am not tapering any further until these extreme thoughts subside a bit for me. It’s too much to bear for me at the moment, so that’s why I am holding.
Oh no! I hope you stabilize soon Lfree!!! It really is an awful feeling having those thoughts and I think the dp/Dr makes them somehow feel easier to accomplish (at least for me) like there were no consequences.
I had a bad day today, restarted an old drug for pain/ sleep and even though I was only off it for 2 weeks I think it’s hitting me hard. Migraine most of the day, just wanted to sleep and just felt unwell. But it’s also that ‘special’ monthly time AND I tried vaping CBD oil last night…so many things at play right now, we also had a snow storm (which flares my fibromyalgia)
Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward... « Reply #23 on: February 17, 2019, 04:58:09 pm »
NO, don’t do inpatient, I did that twice and they poly drugged me to death. was so scary locked up with crazy people and an evil shrink. taper slow, u can do it
Re: Mom wants me to go to the psyche ward... « Reply #24 on: February 20, 2019, 05:06:56 am »
[…], I hope you’ve been able to avoid the psych ward. It’s the absolute worst place for anyone in psych drug withdrawal as the people there have no clue what is wrong with you and only heap on more poisonous drugs. I’m so sorry for your suffering. Stay home regardless of how bad it gets….that’s the safest place to be, unless you are truly and actually in the process of trying to take your own life.
Worried About Taking Time Off Work « on: January 08, 2019, 04:33:42 pm »
Hey all. I know I have complained about my job many times on this forum. It is my job as a high school teacher that had me on Klonopin for many years, and it is my job that made me want to go back on the poison January 2018 for 2 1/2 months. Those 2 1/2 months led me to this hell I am in now nearly ten months later.
I am going to take some time off work starting January 21st at the end of the semester. At first, I was excited about it and felt a slight sense of relief, but as the time draws closer, I am getting worried about having too much downtime. I am mostly suffering from depression with intrusive thoughts which has basically created a fear of being alone. For that reason, I will probably go live with my parents and making routine trips to visit my wife and daughter with a friend or my family. Just venting here. I will have to find things to do to keep my mind occupied at all times. I’m hoping the time off will at least lead to better sleep and more opportunities to exercise.