BENZO CONFESSIONS: THE SMELL OF MY NEIGHBOR’S BARBECUE IS TOO STRONG

Benzo confessions...feel free to add yours
« on: June 22, 2021, 07:14:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Sometimes, I’m afraid to open my email because it might be more than I can handle.

I have a phobia of my phone and checking messages

Sometimes, I go weeks without going to my mailbox.

I’m kinda terrified of my mom because she knocks too loudly and comes unexpectedly.

I strongly dislike the smell of food cooking like bread, cookies, garlic, and most everything.

The smell of my neighbor’s barbecue is too strong.

I strongly dislike the smell of fabric softener and dryer sheets in the air outside.

When my neighbors slam their cupboard doors, it makes me go crazy in my head. ???

This taper failed: 60-year-old wants back on Klonopin after sitting in garage with gun in hand, ready to end it

Failure
« on: June 30, 2021, 07:19:46 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 9 wks CT from K at .75 mg that I was on for three months. Now I remember why doctor put me on this to begin with. I have extreme health anxiety. I have been doing fairly well with my withdrawal symptoms and even sleeping pretty well. Now I have just got news that something was wrong with my liver function test. I haven’t talked to doctor or got results, but I am living in extreme fear and panic and it’s not the withdrawal. I just can’t deal with health issues. If he tells me there’s problems with my liver I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t even make the appointment. I don’t know how I’d […] see him or get liver tests done. Seriously what would happen if I went back on K? I know it’s not recommended but lots of people do it. I think I’d rather live my life calmer than live with this anxiety even if it means a lifetime of drugs. Or would it not work for me? I can’t do it. I mean I literally can’t. I can’t get it out of my head the what if’s. I am paralyzed with fear. I would be like this for any health emergency for life, not just because I’m in withdrawal. I have been suicidal. Yes have even sat in the garage with the car running, taken the overdose, had the gun in my hand. Please help me make a decision. What else could possibly help me. Is there a drug that’s not a benzo? I can’t wait for an antidepressant to work. I’ve tried two and they made me sick as a dog. . I can’t […] on like this. I’m 60 yrs old.

Benzo Buddies kooks whine rain is making them suffer

Do rainy days affect withdrawals?
« on: May 20, 2021, 02:43:48 pm »

[Buddie]

I have been in a wave since I was stressed out a week ago, and today I feel symptoms are really intense. I can not do what I could do yesterday. I blame it on today’s rainy weather,too but wondering if it affects withdrawals so much. I hope I am not alone with this. I appreciate your responses.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2021, 03:05:01 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: Do rainy days affect withdrawals?
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2021, 03:30:36 pm »

[Buddie]

Now you mention it, it’s been raining here for weeks and I’ve been completely wiped out, absolutely exhausted. It could be something to do with the weather I suppose. SAD is a recognised condition.

Then again it could all just be coincidence. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about this shit too much, which I tend to do

Re: Do rainy days affect withdrawals?
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2021, 05:06:21 pm »

[Buddie]

[…] I believe rainy days do affect us! We have had a lot of cloudy and rainy days I need sunshine!

Addict follows benzo cult guru Ashton into oblivion

Please help spatial awareness disorientation issues
« on: April 03, 2021, 08:32:56 am »

[Buddie]

Hi I’m new here
I’m feeling so distressed. I feel like I Search and Search but can’t find my exact symptoms.
I’m wondering if anyone who has spatial awareness issues can tell me what they experience.
I’m finding it so hard to put into words what I’m experiencing but basically everything feels off centre.
I can’t comprehend straight walls i over think everything and I feel disoriented. And try and square things off almost. I have only left the house a handful of times the last few months and when I do the roads feel off like they should go more to the left or right. Like the direction is slightly off.
I’m finding this so unbearable has anyone experienced these symptoms
I feel like I’m going crazy.
I tapered from diazepam Using Ashton method but these symptoms have worsened since weaning off propranolol.
I just can’t seem to get my mind to stop overthinking about this
Please help
Much love

Cumin sends cult member into outer space five minutes after eating a salad

Cumin issues?
« on: January 04, 2021, 07:35:58 pm »

[Buddie]

Anyone have any reverse or strange reaction to the spice cumin?  and i just felt off! I believe I have read of other BBs suffering side affects from certain spices? Thanks for any feedback!

Re: Cumin issues?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2021, 07:41:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I have that and more whenever I eat anything or put anything on body, wash hands etc.

Benzo Buddies members forced to give away belongings, live like hermits, to remain in cult

Giving away belongings
« on: November 13, 2020, 08:26:44 pm »

[Buddie]

I’ve noticed a few people (e.g. Baylissa) who report that they gave away a lot of their belongings while in withdrawal but have little memory of that time. For me, I’ve noticed the urge to get rid of a lot of my stuff – I think it stems from getting easily overwhelmed and wanting to simplify my life. I actually think it’s a good thing because I live in a small apartment with minimal storage space. Benzo withdrawal is helping me realize what I value most in life and most often that is not material objects. I have way too many clothes and was never able to part with them before, but now it comes easy. I plan to clean out my storage unit this weekend!

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2020, 09:19:51 pm »

[Buddie]

Simplifying my life makes me feel good, when I’m distressed I’ll often pick a closet to clean out. I get a feeling of freedom from the weight of too much stuff and those I donate to can benefit as well.

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2020, 03:35:21 am »

[Buddie]

I am doing the same thing. I have never edited so much. Feels great. Feels free.

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2020, 07:08:34 am »

[Buddie]

I have been doing this too. Feels right to be clearing the junk out while clearing meds out of my body. Also makes me want to cut my hair. 😂

Re: Giving away belongings
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2020, 08:56:49 am »

[Buddie]

I give stuff away all the time but its mostly because I think I’ll never heal or make it through this alive to use them.