“William Steven and William Smith, you both are 100% correct. I was a member at BB for about a year. While I met some great people there, the majority were almost all anti-doctor, anti-psychiatry and extreme. It was so beyond sad when people were at the end of their rope and suicidal. If people got a chance nectar mod came along to stop the suicide posts, members were jumping in to say DUDE. STAY AWAY FROM PSYCHIATRY AND FOR FUCK’S sake do NOT ENTER A HOSPITAL TO SAVE YOU FUCKING LIFE. 🤬
“Every damn thing in the world causes a ‘wave.’ From a sugar free candy to the wrong minerals in water. It’s so pathetically saddening. MADDENING. I began to buy into pushing through while I was having awful insomnia, depression to the point of suicidal ideation, all while going through family difficulties which were beyond heartbreaking and enough to level anybody, mentally healthy and the already distraught. For some reason I got caught up in the cult mentality and was, no matter what, going to finish my taper. That’s until I found myself literally thinking that death might be the way out of my misery over more losses in my life. I finally left that place and realized that I needed help. I reinstated my Benzo, although at 1/4 of my highest dose and started an antidepressant. I might not need these drugs forever, but by God I not only needed meds, but I needed to GTFO of that sewer of cultists and people who clearly presented as those in desperate need of meds themselves. Thank Christ I came to my senses, and perhaps if I’d never read anything on that site I’d have not ever thought of suicide. God help vulnerable people who join BB and buy into the crazy thinking there.”
This is ridiculous!
« on: September 01, 2019, 09:32:59 am »
“Here I am typing this on my phone as I lie on my bathroom floor, where I have found myself on numerous occasions over the past 12 months, pondering how the hell I can survive any longer.
I feel like I’ve reached the end this time, that I have no more left to give. My withdrawal has been no more or less brutal than anyone elses but my issues externally to this keep lining up and seem insurmountable at best. Perhaps it’s the benzo lies talking, perhaps not….who really knows what they’re thinking is rational or not in this situation?!
But right now everything feels too hard. Maybe this is a cry for help…knowing nothing and no-one can fix this though, essentially renders it useless. Errrrrrrmagod
I hope everyone whom finds themselves in a similar position right now finds the strength and courage to keep moving forward.
Love Peace and Taco Grease
Moving Residences During the Taper; Ever Done Before?
« on: August 16, 2019, 03:37:10 pm »
Hi BB. My taper is going pretty well since I started in early March. I taper 5% every 2 weeks on a daily dry cut basis of Klonopin. My main withdrawal symptoms are persistent low level anxiety, some brain fog, agitation and chest pressure. I call this my Window. Every few weeks I seem to get a wave for about 2 days where I am basically laid up in bed immobilized. I do not currently work.
My taper of 15 months is scheduled to end on June 1 next year. It now looks like I will have to move out of State ( in the US) during this taper.
My question is whether any BB out there has had to move residences during their taper and how did it go? This would be helpful for me even if the move is not far.
I currently take Kolonopin 1.5 mg per day. I am planning to start on 2/25/19 to taper using the Mortar and Pestle method and scale. I am planning to start with a very conservative taper schedule and see how I do for the first two months.
Current symptoms: waking up very early with chest pressure and panic, morning chemical anxiety, brain fog, headaches, difficulty concentrating.
Re: Can an X-ray cause sxs? I’m getting one tomorrow?
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2019, 05:26:08 pm »
My system is super sensitized by lex taper, had severe reactions to almost everything in the universe, magnesium, all meds, supplements, msg, aspartame, I passed out for 15 minutes after a mri for my back. I was not anxious or scared I swear. It’s the strong magnets.
Even that insanely sensitive, I didn’t have reaction to xray
Frustrated with social anxiety
« on: April 27, 2019, 03:18:15 pm »
Sleep and appetite are good right now which is a relief considering start of my taper. Still frustrated with social anxiety that comes and goes since I’m not usually socially anxious at all. To the point that a dinner with my wife and trip to grocery store are unsettling. 🙁
Has anybody else experienced social anxiety even in normally comfortable situations?
Know I should be grateful I’m not having worse SXs but this still is bothersome and I’d love for it to pass sooner than later!
Re: Frustrated with social anxiety
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2019, 03:39:08 pm »
Yes this is intense for me as well. I do actually already suffer from this but it is WAY worse during my taper. Leaving my house puts me in straight panic.
Re: Frustrated with social anxiety
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2019, 04:27:46 pm »
Social anxiety is my major symptom in addition to tinnitus. Like you said, even going to a restaurant can unsettle me. But I do it and I even go to rock/blues/jazz/classical concerts. The anxiety usually subsides as I drink a few beers and start to focus on the music. I had never had an issue like this before. I hope it will disappear once I’m done with my taper.
Dumped during taper
« on: April 10, 2019, 12:33:03 am »
Just lost one of the key players in my support network. She said, “I can’t do this for another 6 months, year, however long it’ll be before you’re better. I love you, I want you to get better, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. But I just can’t do this anymore. I have to let go. I have to live my life”
This was 2 weeks ago. I tried to remain her friend, but she couldn’t help but rub her new relationship in my face. When I’d finally had enough and blocked her number, and on social media, she got pissy and finally left me alone. It’s strange how the ones we love the most can end up being the most toxic. Prior to this she would always be at my bedside. Checking in on me every day. Assuring me I’d get through this and that I’m strong for having made it this far.
I found myself up-dosing. I messed up. I let her hurt me even more. I’m trying to get back down to 0.5mg Klon per day, but the nights without her are much harder. Maybe I shouldn’t have been dating in this state. She tapered off klon a long time ago, I thought she’d be more understanding.
If anyone’s suffered a blow like this during taper, any advice would be appreciated.
(I know, “Try not to think about her, occupy your mind with other things.” I got that much, I’m trying.)
17 yrs benzo and 17 months off + weed
« on: April 10, 2019, 09:44:26 pm »
Hello to all of you ,
I am extremely happy I found this forum. I am 35 yrs old male single. I was diagnosed with depression/ADD/ADHD when I was 17. The dosage I consume is very consistent throughout the years, 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant. Two years ago, I discover weed reduces my anxiety and sleep so much. I started to hang out with pothead friends then I found out benzo is @(*#! I cold turkey 17 months ago and I created a new habit of smoking pot. Everyday, all day none stop. A year ago, I didn’t smoke for a month and I still had serve symptoms. So I continue to consume cannabis ever since.
dizziness and headache
foggy brain, there is like a pressure in the brain
muscle tightness entire body
impossible to have a good posture
extremely isolated with reality
hard to concentrate
hypersensitive to noise, sounds, light
hard to breath
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee on my ear
family and friends are the biggest joke ever
2019 we communicate with our fingers and eyes on screen, I can’t stand the fact that people don’t reply or take my messages seriously. I get extremely upset that I would just give up and block the person right away. Why not call?
severe repetitively negative thoughts
especially on tinder ( dating app ) I talk to ppl with respect but I get mistreated, like super mad with these girls. I know their mindset is not very healthy to begin with. Anyway I deleted the app yesterday.
tons of childhood memory came back
unable to maintain any relationship
fear of going out
takes a lot of effort to do a simple thing. ( going to grocery store, food )
is it weed or is it benzo withdrawal
nobody understand and sometimes I think I am crazy
tire, fatigue feeling all day
I do get this weird feeling coming back and forth. Sometimes it’s not obvious so I don’t know how to describe it. All of sudden my chest and heart have this tingling feel. It is hard to breath and then it’s gone.
For the past one and half year, I didn’t do anything. Blaze and youtube everyday. Whenever I tell someone my benzo withdrawal. They couldn’t understand and most of them want to argue with me. I don’t have any friends anymore, I don’t talk to my family. Sometime, I feel extremely lonely but I am so afraid I will end up any relationships. I can’t afford to loose more friends. Is it me or is this benzo withdrawal??
FM2(Flunitrazepam): Modipanol/Rohypnol ***7 years
Syndoman 30mg. FLURAZEPAM HCL ****4 years
MESYREL 50MG TRAZODONE HYDROCHLOR
I only take 1 benzo and 1 anti depressant a day. Like the tablets we see from normal pharmaceutical drugs.
My apology for the long and boring words. It’s just so much anxiety even typing these out.