Dr. Jenn retires after being disabled by a wave: “I don’t want to be a leader… no more coaching ever!”

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm »

[Buddie]

Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2017, 06:41:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 15, 2017, 06:01:47 pm
Hey everyone. Colin or mods may pull this as I’m breaking anonymity here. I’m jennifer. My site will be taken down in six months. I’m
Retired from coaching. My set back is severe. After a very lengthy time of feeling healed I’m
Back in the snake pit. I will not risk my health ever again so I must stop working with benzo clients. The stress, as you can imagine, is too great. Baylissa’s site Baylissa dot com, is still up. I talk her her every morning. She’s still helping benzo people. She’s not leaving the community. I wish I was more well and could help. But I’m not and I can’t. It was an honor and a priveledge helping so many of you. Even though I’m in a set back I continue to believe that we do heal. Some take longer. But the outcome is recovery. Hold on. Don’t give up. Be good to yourselves.

jen,

i will pray for you. i will pray harder than i have for anyone yet. this can’t go on for long. god has to stop this and restore you your life.

Re: We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2017, 07:16:18 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you. That’s very kind of you. I’m praying too, for all
Of us. Hopefully In another few weeks or months I’ll be back on my feet. Out in my garden. I’m working on a novel to distract me. Friends are cooking for me and taking care of me. God walked me through this once before. No reason to believe God will stop and let me walk the way to complete healing on my own.

Please know that we heal. If I didn’t believe this I wouldn’t have done the work I did all these years. I’ve seen clients get well. And I saw my own healing. I went from deranged after my cold turkey to functional. I even taught a class at Stanford. Had a bad wave from doing to much, then recovered from that. The last six months before this setback were the best in many many years. But, I guess I did too much. I’ve probably got a much more fragile CNS than most due to my years of trauma before Benzo’s. I over estimated my capacity for listening to others pain and suffering. It finally took its toll on me, along with The physical extertion I put myself under. You can avoid a setback if you take care of yourself. If you are an over achiever like myself, you’ll want to really watch yourself and slow down.

When I crawl out of this setback I’m dedicated to taking life easy. I don’t want to be a leader. I don’t want to be responsible for people’s lives in any way shape or form. No more coaching ever. I just want to write. Grow flowers. Be among friends and family. Hold my grandchildren. And appreciate every sunrise I’m given. This is my wild one and precious life, no matter how shattered it feels at the moment. It is mine.

Benzo Buddies ghouls gang up on member who suggested going to a doctor

Please people consider how you respond to others
« on: July 26, 2017, 05:27:46 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi all,

I put some post up the other day as I was hopeful that I might find a therapist at McLean’s Hospital. However some found it a purpose to rail against doctors and everything else. I would like to ask you that if somebody is new to please take a more gentle attitude hair is how I feel today

Thank you for everybody who bashed this thread. I came on this board for help and I really thought that my post was benign.

I was attacked or I should say my post was attacked very viciously and it sent me into a conflict which really helped to worsen my withdrawal. I am already all alone people should really consider what they are saying to somebody especially if they are new to this board. I am in a headlong depression and am extremely alone I didn’t need this.

Three decades of diet soda robs addict of youth, sanity

What If...
« on: July 15, 2017, 03:17:28 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I am 67, 13 years on Xanax, 3 off. Did 3 decades drinking diet soda. So, June 1, 2017, I went off the sodas and, of course, aspartame. This morning looked at how old I look and feel. Each passing month seems worse. I was wondering what I would look like and feel like if I had never taken any of these poisons. Too late now but a real sad commentary on where I took myself. Sure many of you feel the same. 😢

Benzo Buddies member: “Jennifer Leigh not benzo qualified”

Re: Has anyone here had a consultation with Dr. Jennifer Leigh?
« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2017, 04:22:38 am »

[Buddie

I must speak. I has contact with this woman years ago. She has no benzodiazepine qualifications. She was unable to comprehend grammar school science. Now she promotes herself as an expert She remains impressed with her uneducated self substituting sidling up to people whom she considers prominent. Syncophant. Potential buyers, beware. She is unqualified Soothing words with authoritative airs are not worth $100 an hour up front yet!

Microtapering madness: Ashton dogma costs addict job

Lost my job due to withdrawal. It's time to go back on. What now?
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:03:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello everyone,

My arduous journey with benzodiazepine drugs didn’t begin until August of 2015. I started taking 10mg of valium per day. Fast forward to a year later, and my initial efforts at trying to cease usage commenced. Work got tough, and I had to jump back on. The new year started (2017), and I once again made the attempt.

Long story short, valium withdrawal makes it impossible for me to function at work. I cannot concentrate, I make mistakes, and it makes me an unpleasant person. This resulted in me being pushed out of my job. I am very fortunate that I got another one, but I am very fearful of ever attempting to come off again. I’m going to be making an appointment with a psychiatrist once again and just be straight with them – I need this drug to function and hold down a job.

For me, honestly, outside of my job – I feel the withdrawal process was actually ok. I haven’t had huge problems sleeping, although I reliably wakeup after about 5 hours of sleep. Socially, I feel like I’m doing ok. It’s really only at work where my anxiety level about whether or not I would be fired was over the top.

Almost everything else I can live with, but the lack of concentration, drive, and focus is very bad. Even with a gradual taper, it was debilitating. My job requires both drive and extreme concentration and attention to detail. I lose all of that during withdrawal.

My plan is to see a new psychiatrist, and explain that I need to get stable for a few months with whatever drugs are necessary, and then commence either a very long taper or an inpatient treatment center (if I can afford it).

One thing that concerns me is my aggression that is heightened during withdrawal. I really feel like it might be worth asking a psychiatrist for prozac or something similar in addition to the valium. Maybe even lithium.

I know a lot of people here have just as difficult of a time as me, but please keep in mind, I cannot easily just take 3-4 months off.

Today, it almost seems like I should just accepting being an addict until such time as I can attempt another taper or detox clinic.

Does it seem wise to jump on again so I can have a career? Should I be considering other adjunctive drugs, such as an antidepressant?

Proactive advice welcome. Thank you!

Cult member vows to die rather than take psychiatric medication

and there are some who will never make it
« on: February 14, 2017, 06:41:59 pm »

[Buddie]

like me. i am addicted to 20 mg librium and 30 mg domperidone and 15 mg mirtazapine. domperidone, for me, crosses the blood-brain barrier and i have failed quitting it twice. it works as an antipsychotic for me.

i was an alcoholic for 10 years and stopped drinking 6 months ago. i’ve fallen into depression every month since. but my current episode of depression beats all expectations. i have been depressed for 20 days and with unrelenting depression.

i met a psychiatrist today. he wants me to start lamictal and increase my benzio to 30 mg librium. my foot!

i will die depressed than take any other psychiatric medicine.

please help!

Dozens of addicts left scrambling for benzos as Roy Katz gets shut down

Re: Roy Katz
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2016, 04:03:16 pm »

[Buddie]

Thank you so much for your Amazing story … Roy and Dr Armstrong are truly genuine people in my
Book, I hope that everyone who has/was out to get them are HAPPY

I have had no problems with my compounding solution my whole taper. But now as soon as this bottle runs out I’ll be in full BLOWN CT!!

Too many people run their mouths on sites like this and on Facebook and maybe some people just don’t know who to blame! Well hope ***** on Facebook who posted this info publicly about how PROUD she is – is happy! Yep Roy is shut down Yep! Me and about 160 people are left to now SCRAMBLE for our LIVES

Unless you have not used Roys compounds personally and yes I have heard some didn’t do well on it
Doesn’t mean it didn’t help me or many others so save all you comments I’m not sticking around
I prob won’t even be able to read or write in a few weeks due to CT
Not

edit: personal information
« Last Edit: November 06, 2016, 04:50:25 pm by [Buddie] »

Xanax-fentanyl combo kills

Fake Xanax cut with potent pain med can be a killer

1 person died, 8 were sickened when illicit pills circulated in San Francisco, doctors report

TUESDAY, Aug. 9, 2016 (HealthDay News) — At least one San Francisco-area drug user died and eight more landed in the ER in late 2015 after taking counterfeit Xanax tablets that had been cut with a powerful and dangerous opiate, a new report shows.

The nine people all had taken tablets that looked very similar to prescription Xanax, down to bearing the same pharmaceutical markings as the legitimate anxiety drug, said report author Dr. Ann Arens. She is a former ER physician at Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital.

But the tablets had been cut with fentanyl, a cheap, synthetic opioid that the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration says is 100 times more potent than morphine. The rock star Prince died of a fentanyl overdose at his Paisley Park recording studio in Minneapolis in April.

“They look exactly the same, and the users that were exposed to these tablets had no idea it was anything other than what they thought they were buying,” said Arens, who recently took a new job as attending ER physician at Hennepin County Medical Center in Minneapolis.

Three people who took the fake pills suffered from heart attacks and one from heart failure, while others experienced a dangerous dip in their respiratory and nervous system function, according to the case report.

The patients included an infant who had to be placed on a respirator after taking a fake Xanax pill he found lying on the ground at home.

The case report was published online Aug. 8 in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine.

Manufacture of counterfeit medications has increased with the epidemic of prescription drug abuse, said Marcia Lee Taylor, president and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids.

Drug abusers turn to street dealers to buy prescription drugs when they can’t purchase the medications through a pharmacy, Taylor said. These dealers have no scruples about selling fake tablets that may contain other substances, she said.

Fentanyl is a common ingredient in these counterfeit drugs because it’s cheap and potent, Taylor said.

“Oftentimes illicit drugs are cut with cheaper substances to stretch the product. Fentanyl is just another sort of product on the shelf to cut drugs with,” Taylor said. “Unfortunately, unlike baking soda or other materials used to stretch the active ingredient in a drug, this has very dangerous side effects. It doesn’t take much fentanyl to lead to an overdose.”

Drug abusers turn to street dealers to buy prescription drugs when they can’t purchase the medications through a pharmacy, Taylor said. These dealers have no scruples about selling fake tablets that may contain other substances, she said.

Fentanyl is a common ingredient in these counterfeit drugs because it’s cheap and potent, Taylor said.

“Oftentimes illicit drugs are cut with cheaper substances to stretch the product. Fentanyl is just another sort of product on the shelf to cut drugs with,” Taylor said. “Unfortunately, unlike baking soda or other materials used to stretch the active ingredient in a drug, this has very dangerous side effects. It doesn’t take much fentanyl to lead to an overdose.”

Xanax is a mild sedative normally used to treat anxiety and panic disorders.

The fake Xanax containing fentanyl came to the attention of San Francisco doctors in mid-October 2015, when a man in his 20s and a woman in her 30s were taken to the ER at Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital after consuming the pills.

A third person with them, a woman in her 30s, was found dead in their home, Arens said.

The blood of all three tested positive for fentanyl, even though the survivors said they had only used alcohol, cocaine and Xanax, Arens said.

The doctors suspected the Xanax was counterfeit and laced with fentanyl, and their suspicions were confirmed when a fourth patient wound up in the ER. The patient, a man in his early 20s, still had some of the counterfeit Xanax on his person, and testing revealed that the tablets had been cut with fentanyl, Arens explained.

Five more hospitalizations involving fake Xanax cropped up after that, including the infant, two boys in their late teens, a man in his mid-20s and a man in his mid-40s, the report said.

These were difficult cases to treat, because the patients were suffering from symptoms that didn’t line up with what they said they had taken, Arens said.

“People may be presenting differently than what they think they took, and it makes it difficult to diagnose,” Arens said. “It’s hard to predict what someone could have gotten into when they buy things off the street.”

Other deaths occurred as a result of the fake Xanax, Arens said, and will be detailed in an upcoming paper from the San Francisco medical examiner’s office.

These cases should serve as a warning to people tempted to buy prescription medications from illicit sources, be it a street dealer or a shady online retailer, Taylor said.

“If you buy it outside of the medical system and on the street, you’re putting yourself at risk for a counterfeit product,” Taylor said. “You don’t know what’s going to be in it, and how you’re going to react to it.”

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/news/20160809/fake-xanax-cut-with-potent-pain-med-can-be-a-killer

“I feel naked, mutilated, out of control and entirely in limbo”

Low-dose klonopin taper, psychiatric cocktail, hypersensitivity, irregular reactions, etc.
« on: August 02, 2016, 06:32:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi there. My family (historically subject to alcoholism, autism, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, you name it) and I have been trying to properly medicate my depression/mood swings/anxiety since I was just a kid.

After a failed diagnostic trial with Lamictal around age 10, I was put on 25mg Zoloft and 0.25mg Klonopin in middle school: this combination successfully got me through the following 5-6 years. I essentially cold-turkeyed the low dose of Klonopin upon exiting highschool and didn’t notice any effects. Switched from Zoloft to Prozac, which aggravated my mood swings and prompted a switch to Viibryd after a couple months. Varying degrees of depression/hypomania/crippling depression throughout. Had an odd reaction to Viibryd, and was put back on 0.25mg of Klonopin twice daily by my long-time psychiatrist to ease the SSRI withdrawal.

Things worsened rapidly, and after two consecutive, incredibly irrational trials on Lithium and then Seroquel (taking Klonopin and hydroxyzine throughout to ease the insanity of my symptoms) made the decision to get off medication completely and take the naturopathic route. This is after years of treating my chemically frustrated brain medically, mind you.

Started my Klonopin taper with 0.25mg in the morning and then 0.125mg at night. Been at this for about two weeks. My supplements are 5-MTHF (I have the homozygous mutation), GABA, vitamins B & D, and omega-3s. Haven’t noticed their effects, or lack thereof. My withdrawal symptoms include fatigue, confusion, dizziness, blurred vision, general cognitive impairment, body aches, and most importantly, anxiety & panic attacks. I read a little bit about hitting “tolerance” but am otherwise entirely blindsided by my neural reaction to the tapering. I’ve found myself literally cowering in fear half the time. I’m positively hungry to be back on an SSRI, because the past month has been something out of a horror film. For someone who is normally very aware/reflective/fluent, the mental fog that I’ve been subject to feels like paralysis. I am terrified. To make things worse, I’m at a critical nexus in my academic career and am paranoid about sabotaging my progress, capacity, future, etc. because I’ve only just realized how serious my Klonopin withdrawal is. My mental faculties are INCREDIBLY limited, and for someone who’s identified as an scholar since childhood, it’s tearing me apart. Rereading this uncoordinated, poorly written post is almost comedic considering my career as a university academic and publishing success.

All of my previous medications have been tiny doses because of my extreme sensitivity. xxx I have very few resources and am in urgent need of advice, information, and support. Currently, I’m supposed to travel overseas in two days and am wondering if it’s safe to get back on an SSRI to ease my symptomatic (& figurative) paralysis. Please, please, please help.