52 months out…

Will taking a med to help stop the tremors keep me from healing...
« on: June 30, 2020, 01:54:31 pm »

[Buddie]

I am 52 months out and take carbidopa/levadopoa to control the shaking/tremors so that I can go to work. Does anyone know if this will keep me from healing?

Cult women claim benzos cause them to grow moustaches

Facial hair loss
« on: June 28, 2020, 05:06:21 am »

[Buddie]

Any males experienced this? I first noticed it about a month ago and since then it’s fallen out and thinned our considerably with large patches with no hair.
I don’t know if this is Benzo related or not.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 05:48:13 am by [Buddie] »

Re: Facial hair loss
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2020, 01:14:55 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m female and have lost hair on head but growing a moustache.

Dark Thoughts

Dark thoughts and nightmares
« on: June 24, 2020, 09:04:43 pm »

[Buddie]

I have had violent thoughts on and off throughout this despicable predicament I’m in. I thought they were a thing of the past and I was afraid to even post on here that I was having them. I had a nightmare that I punched the woman my ex husband is having a baby with. I do not even know what the woman looks like. This is just disgusting…I hate myself, this is not okay!!! I want to be back to normal…this has been a very difficult week. Does anyone have violent nightmares or thoughts? I did a search and found a post but it was a long time ago…am I going insane?
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 09:46:04 pm by [Buddie] »

BENZO BELLY’S BACK!

Benzo belly
« on: June 25, 2020, 09:57:08 am »

[Buddie]

Hello ,
What are the best tips to manage benzo belly,
Should i eat more fiber from foods or propiotics are recommended? I know it differs for everyone but i would like to hear some tips.

Cult site Benzo Buddies is the home of untreated mental illness, this time it’s cibophobia (fear of food)

Food reactions
« on: June 16, 2020, 07:15:48 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi.
I am really sensitive to food and react to literally anything i eat. 20 minutes after eating a meal the DP/DR and high anxiety start to come up and can last for even a couple of hours. I got kind of used to this and never really tried to do anything about it as I have not been eating sugar/foods high in glutamic acid/anything processed/foods high in histamine etc. anyway and cutting out even more foods is just impossible at this point. Also, i am extremely extremely skinny so that’s also why i can’t limit the food im eating. So i have a question: Is it bad for my healing to just continue eating like i always did and react to it heavily? I wonder if it causes even more excitotoxicity and damage my brain even more than it already is…

Re: Food reactions
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2020, 07:35:40 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi amkn
Sugar is really bad for anybody’s brain, even not in wd.
It ramps me up to panic attack level now.

I’m super skinny too. Had lost sooo much weight. I can eat no sugar, gluten, caffeine, msg, processed food. But I’ve been able to put back 20 pounds by adding coconut oil, avocado, olive oil to my smoothies. I eat a lot of protein- nuts, eggs, peanut butter on a spoon. I have meat or fish with a potato for dinner. I found decent gluten free bagels at Aldi’s and Trader Joe’s. I slather them with real butter. I’ve recently been able to add dairy back into my diet, slowly, so cheese and milk is helping pack on the pounds.

Re: Food reactions
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2020, 07:51:25 pm »

[Buddie]

Good for you ligma that you can still eat nuts meat etc.

I’m on the same boat. Can’t eat anything contains glutamate on top of everything you listed so nuts meat etc have to go.

Amkn,
It depends on how bad the reaction is for you. If you feel like you can still handle then balance the 2 sounds good. For me, each tiny wrong food put me in a life threatening situation and long lasting setbacks so I have no option.

I’m 5’5 and weigh less than 90 pounds now. Lost about 15 pounds during and after tapering.

Addict starts downing kpins, with a vodka chaser, after taper fails

Confession -- Reinstatement -- I don't know what to do
« on: June 09, 2020, 09:06:09 pm »

[Buddie]

Three days ago, my akathisia, intrusive thoughts, irritability got so bad. It had been just over one month without klonopin. I wanted to celebrate, but the perceputal distortions, dp/dr, and other symptoms were bad too. I literally was afraid of losing control. I had these awful tics — was laying on the floor screaming “F— you” to any car going by. I had strong urges to yell at my wife, tear stuff off shelves, etc. Mind you, **this is not me.** I was never like this before withdrawal.

Long story short, I felt hopeless and desperate, because I can’t put myself at risk of being like this every day. I took some Kpin and dashed it down with vodka (maybe equivalent of 3 shots). I am not even a drinker — I don’t even like alcohol, so this is not a “pattern” mind you — I just needed reprieve from these tics and thoughts until I could figure out a new strategy, because this CT isn’t working. I had terrible panic and tightness all day long, plus ‘mental akathisia,’ unable to escape my own brain. I am afraid for my future. I cannot stay married like this and do this to my family. Well now that was 3 days ago, the withdrawals are going to kick in again. I really went and did it this time. I thought the worst of the acutes would peak by month one but clearly I was wrong. How to taper a med that’s paradoxical? Seems a V crossover is my only chance but my doc won’t do it.

“feels light like air running thru my veins and body”

It feels like air running thru my body
« on: June 07, 2020, 08:20:20 am »

[Buddie]

My body feels light as a ballon and my inner electric feeling z’. This is too much. Now I just need to scream and hit my head with a hammer or bang it to a wall to stop this terror and torture. I hate this. Loud tschhhhh tschhhhh tinnutus in my whole head. It makes it feels so much worse bc of the toxic sound. just wanna share this hellish sxs anyone had that air feeling?