Benzo Buddies lifer agonizes over whether or not to hop back on pill cocktail

Back again after 5 years off - worse than acute - could it be related??
« on: October 17, 2020, 04:23:19 pm »


Hello! I’m hoping someone can PLEASE help or connect me with a member or moderator who might help!
I haven’t been on this site in years. I had horrendous and protracted withdrawals from Xanax, Klonopin, Gabapentin and Remeron. I was cold turkey’ed many times, out on, off, etc etc. I nearly lost my life. Anyway, I was finally off all of everything and slowly recovering. I was able to work part time – sleep between 5-8 hrs a night without a blood sugar crash (regularly) – I also have severe hypoglycemia and adrenal issues from all of this – and could exercise a decent amount. This was back in Feb. I still had issues but was perhaps 65% recovered. But then I started getting stomach issues that the doctors could not figure out. It was severe. I would go from pain, to acid, etc and my nervous system would kick in to try to numb the pain. Drs tried natural remedies bc I’m still super sensitive to meds but nothing helped. I started losing function and so much weight we had to try PPIs etc but they too did not work. I felt like I was back to being in acute withdrawal. My exact symptoms were back. One of my natural drs recognized it and said since my nervous system never fully recovered that is probably why this is happening. I have also been SEVERELY isolated, super stressed because I can’t work, have NO SUPPORT at all where I live – it is just me etc etc and afraid of everything going on in the world. Well, as the summer progressed, I kept getting worse. ALL of my doctors could not figure it out as my symptoms are MORE severe than they ever were in any withdrawal They all quit and said go to my home state of Ohio where I have some friends, old drs who got me through the last withdrawal etc. and it was cheaper to live. I was thinking about moving out of state but then that became too stressful too. I now cannot sleep at ALL! I try to relax and my heart BOOMS out of my chest. I get extreme adrenaline surges that set my whole body on fire – I feel like I am being dipped in acid and then I vomit. I have lost 30 lbs. I have kept trying to endure this on my own but the pain and burning the stomach, nerves, etc is so severe. I have had a seizure – I NEVER had that in acute. Othertimes, when I may get a few hours of sleep (usually every 3rd or 4th day) I wake DRENCHED in sweat, confused. My hypoglycemia at that point is so severe. It gets so low. My muscles are constantly twitching and shaking whenever I calm down but the second I calm down I realize the severe issues the cortisol for all these months has caused and the pain and agony is unbearable and my body can’t take it. I don’t really know how to endure this – at this point I am losing function to take care of myself on my own – I don’t have anyone to else or care for me here so drs are saying I must move for help. They will not prescribe benzos again but are suggesting if I get to Ohio that I should ask my old psych about it or go back on the regimen of K, Rem, and gaba. I don’t know if it will work. And I’m afraid after all I have been through. We have tried other anxiety meds like visterol CBD etc and it made me sooooo much more anxious. However, I cannot live like this – Has anyone EVER HEARD of anything LIKE THIS?????? What do people do??? Am I too far gone to ever heal? Even when I am calm in the day it comes out in my sleep with these horrible jerky surges. I do not want to go back on Benzos but I don’t know how else to deal with this. Would I kindle? Thanks for any of your replies!!!

PS Sorry this is so long!
« Last Edit: October 20, 2020, 06:07:22 pm by [Buddie] »

Question: Why are all Benzo Buddies members afraid of MSG? Answer: Cult brainwashing.

MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« on: October 20, 2020, 12:14:48 pm »


Like many in WD, MSG really messes with me. I learned this early on when I had Chinese food a few times during withdrawal, and INSTANTLY got a migraine aura, and dizziness/vertigo. I think back to when I was in acute withdrawal. It really fired up my symptoms. Now, it still affects me with headaches, dizziness and insomnia.

I’ve never really tried cutting it out 100%. I know there’s a lot of it hidden it processed foods, and it’s in a lot of food. I’d like to put 100% effort into cutting it out of my diet, but the list is long. It’s almost easier to say: “What CAN I eat to avoid MSG?”

What’s symptoms do you get from consuming MSG?
How do you eat daily to avoid it?

Re: MSG sensitivity: What symptoms ? How do you eat to avoid it ?
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2020, 12:22:25 pm »


Back before my setback/cold-turkey when my only symptoms were GERD and 3AM cortisol surge, MSG would flare up my GERD. Now I avoid MSG like plague and dare not try. Honestly it’s not that hard to avoid MSG. There are even processed foods out there without it. They usually advertise it right on the box.

Kook asks buddie elders when she can get a cold without going into a wave

How long after WD until you can have a "regular" illness with no setback?
« on: October 19, 2020, 11:30:58 pm »


How long does it take to be able to have a cold, headache, surgery, etc, you know another illness not related to withdrawal, without having a setback?

When did you know a headache is just a headache without being scared that you’re in a wave?

When were you able to have a cold or even a fever without having setback in your recovery?

Any input? Especially from buddie elders?
« Last Edit: October 20, 2020, 06:13:21 am by [Buddie] »

Comment from Benzo Buddies member

“I see now that the entire cult of Ashton is dangerous. As someone who drank their Kool-Aid for a few I am still shocked at what I’ve witnessed. Leaders who seem to be making money and stroking egos off sick people. supporting drug dealers when they are anti rx drug I never understood. Fake healers everywhere. Sick people. Worse than keyboard warriors. They call themselves warriors at all is sick. Glad you do what you do.”


Anyone eles is dealing really bad benzobelly?
« on: October 15, 2020, 08:06:19 pm »


Hi everyone,
Well my next issues im dealing with now is sensitive stomach, is this benzobelly??? I cant move around too much or tense my abdomen area it will put me in a discomfort, nausea, gagging, some pain, breathing, even now im so very sensitive to foods now. I lost my appetite now, i was getting my appetite back and gaining weight, now im back to before. Its like the level went up 10x. The only relief that gives me is to lay down and do nothing. I put a ice cold rag on my stomach to relax and calm me down. This is a really bad wave for me if this is one. This is scaring me because its affecting me at work and home. Its like body is taking turns with all this different symptoms every week. Something different is next. Any input is appreciated.

Re: Anyone eles is dealing really bad benzobelly?
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2020, 09:14:50 pm »


I am dealing with some crazy stuff with my belly, abdomen also,,,,,,My last dose of any benzo was 7.5mo ago and it seems to be getting worse here is what I feel

-almost like its filled up
– when I eat it gets worse
– feel like I have something wrapped around, squeezing my torso
-feel like I cant breathe properly

This seems to be systemic and not limited because my head, neck jaw are really sore and tense
My arms and legs seem to be floppy
I feel like I am moving and the ground isnt steady, dizzyish and drunken
hard to be around people, dont feel calm, feel kinda agitated and unsettled

these are just some things,,,,

what kind of dose and length of time were you on?

hit me up if you wanna chat

Non-alcoholic beer, and MSG sausage, cause horrible wave

NA Beer, possible wave?
« on: September 24, 2020, 02:15:38 pm »

I’ve been feeling better lately. I decided to try a non-alcoholic Beer because I like the taste of beer. I have ZERO desire to drink alcohol. ZERO. I don’t plan to drink alcohol for at least 5 years once I’m healed, if at all.

Anyway, the beer was great, very tasty. But a few hours after drinking it, I had a warm and fuzzy feeling, very window-like. I felt really good. That night my sleep was horrible with sweats. However, I did eat some sausage that gave me a MSG reaction previously (I forgot about this before eating it).

So I’m not sure if the small amount of alcohol in the beer triggered this reaction or if it was the MSG sausage. Any input/opinions?? Non-alcoholic beer has 0.5% alcohol. So 10 of these beers equal one “normal” beer at 5% alcohol. I’ve drank kombucha and other drinks with trace alcohol with no problem. I know nobody will have an answer, but I’m just wondering your experiences with low alcohol in products. Thanks.


Has anyone had interaction from Onions?
« on: September 09, 2020, 11:05:03 am »


I have been in tolerence withdrawal not sleeping and I normally dont eat any spices for other health issues. I had onion in my meal and noticed I was knocked out as if it made he klonopin work better in my system. I am concerned because I have become so sesntive that the next day it would put me in intense withdrawals if it is out of my system. I am thinking it must be the onion because that is the only thing I did differently. Just wondering if anyone had this experience with onions?

Re: Has anyone had interaction from Onions?
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2020, 05:38:13 am »


HI, I had a very weird experience. the other day I was cooking and was making a soup with onions and other spices. I placed the onions first on boiling water and let it for a while, the smell started making me get a horrible headache! big time, and a little bit of nausea.
It’s so weird.

Cult’s new fear? MRI scans.

MRI Scan Concerns
« on: October 04, 2020, 08:14:28 pm »


I’m due to have an MRI scan soon and the thought of it terrifies me to my core. There are whole groups of people damaged by MRI scans alone and of course the contrast dye which I have already had when I was only a young child.

Can an MRI damage my nervous system even further? Doc wants me to have one due to constant migraine type headaches, numbness, vision problems, tonnes of neuro symptoms.

I read that having the contrast dye never leaves your system and having an MRI even decades later can re distribute the dye that has deposited itself in your brain and organs and causes further neurotoxicity. The neurotoxicity I am already currently experiencing is severe and I wonder if I will actually ever heal and make it these days. I don’t want a scan to make me even worse however I feel like I need to know if I have a tumour/lesions/atrophy/white matter or something else going on as I only get worse over time.

Any thoughts?

Thank you