Patient goes back on Klonopin after Benzo Buddies taper almost causes stroke

My heart couldn't handle my withdrawal
« on: January 09, 2020, 02:11:18 pm »

[Buddie]

I am back now taking my regular dose of clonazepam. I lasted 15 days without a benzo, those 15 days were the longest, confusing, hellish days of my life. Without a doubt my effort to quit caused my blood pressure to spike to the point where I need to take a pill for my heart at age 34. I would love to be happy and benzo free, it just seems like I could get benzo free but I would be regretting it because your body feels so different and changed from the benzo. I’ve already been kicked out of enough Doctor’s offices so I think I’m going to take this Dr.’s advise and stay on the benzo even though it’s not suppose to be taken for more than 2 months and I’m on over a decade. At some point there will be a Class Action Lawsuit on everyone involved in this scheme, however I don’t want money I want myself to be able to live without Big Pharma. Good luck to everyone out there fighting the good fight, keep it up love is reciprocal.

Addict about to lose EMT job after patient reports him

Job in Jeopardy
« on: January 09, 2020, 08:48:32 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m prescribed 8mg Klonopin daily. I’m an emergency dept EMT. I must’ve had a benzo hangover and a patient reported to my boss to say I seemed drunk. I was sent for a urinalysis and admitted I am in fact prescribed Klonopin. It’s been nearly two weeks and haven’t heard back yet. I have to get off this stuff. Thinking about rapid detox.

Cruel taper forced on 74-year-old?

Day 19 and terrified Please help is this normal?
« on: January 02, 2020, 11:12:29 am »

[Buddie]

Dear all
After a long difficult taper from just 4mgs of valium taken for 3-4 months and over a period of 17 months with a blip in the taper September 2018 wen in hospital for 3 days and put back to 4mgs from taper reduction down to 2.5mgs, since October 2108 tapered off suffering all way down with many symptoms , mostly fear related, but many others,
Tapered to zero with a DMLT for the last 2mgs and taking 4 months to reduce the last 1mgs reducing at 0.01mg a day ,

Now at day 19 and absolutely terrified, , Lots of symptoms, tinnitus (Severe) numbness hands face lips mouth teeth, toes

Little to no sleep. Agoraphobia, unable to deal with any stress at all, Major weight loss,

Please can you tell me is it normal to be this bad at 19 days off?

I don’t want to take anything just to know this is how it is and it will ease?

I am 74 and still cannot believe this has happened , shaking like mad, Icy cold, hands feet,

Teeth hurt nose hurts , not sure what to do as I cannot distract,

Just words of assurance I guess

Please help me

[…]

Benzo Buddies members forbidden to take anti-anxiety medication agonize over dentist visits

Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support.
« on: December 28, 2019, 12:12:26 am »

[Buddie]

Hi!
I’m going to the dentist tomorrow because of a bad tooth. I have not been there in 10 years because of anxiety when it comes to the dentist. I still have agoraphobia.

Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support.
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2019, 12:17:58 am »

[Buddie]

If its a lot of work to do, ask them to split the appointment into more single appointments to make it easier.
Ask them to interrupt, then stand up and do some jumps or stretches to lower the cortisol.
If you have to wait, walk around in order not to freeze in fear.
Tell the doctor that he must stop abruptly if you lift your hand.
While sitting in the chair, tap with your fingers on the legs and count from 1 to 1000.
Drink a cup of water before and after treatment.
After the appointment, move your body, shiver, shake it, jump.

You are in control. Tell them BEFORE about the stop signal, tell them to open a window, its you in charge, its your body.
If things are too difficult, stop and make a new appointment. You can decide, okey?
Tell them about your anxiety, if you want, but then TELL them about your strategies as well, because then no one will try to do things tHEY think are good for you and you might feel like a victim again. Instead – tell them while being bold and proud that you need some more time and air and you have some orders to follow – thats it. No big deal. Okey?

Marigold!

Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support.
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2019, 12:19:19 am »

[Buddie]

I have been having to go to the dentist, because if alot of cavities. Another gift from Ativan. It is very stressful as I do not get anything to numb me. I only get two at a time done. Sometimes it causes a wave, but eventually it settles down. I think it’s my own fear more than the actual dentist visit itself.
You will be fine though, it will be over before you know it.

Re: Going to the dentist tomorrow. Would love some support.
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2019, 12:21:56 am »

[Buddie]

I also have someone go with me. It makes it easier to deal with the anxiety. If you can, have someone go with you and hang out with you for awhile afterwards.

Holiday horror stories pile up as Benzo Buddies members realize Ashton tapers have destroyed their lives

What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« on: December 24, 2019, 08:32:14 pm »

Ptsdmiracle

In 3 months it will be a year off, I have not noticed much improvement. I was slammed into complete dysfunctional and debilitating symptoms causing me to be housebound, and I’m still the same. Cognitive, emotional, mental, physical symptoms are still there when I compare the symptom list I created back in march. I’ve lost a year already. I keep thinking even if I do manage to recover to some functioning level, I’ll never be able to have the life I’ve worked so hard for. I won’t be able to return to my career if my health and sleep isnt 100%, because of the high demand even on a healthy body the stress can be high. I needed to be able to sleep on demand with high quality refreshing naps because of the unpredictable nature of workload. I’ll never be able to go through childbirth because I’m forever traumatized and paranoid that any meds or stress can send me back to acute, I wouldn’t want my kids to witness this let alone not have a healthy happy mother. I’ve cut ties with all my old friends for the past year, how am I ever going to explain to them what happened? Everyone had high hopes for me, now if they knew, I’d be the main topic of gossip in their circles. My social circles and even my extended family who are my generation are all high functioning healthy successful soon to be quite wealthy young adults.

So what’s left for me in this world? I feel like a parasite now, surviving on what the elders in my family can provide for me, and maybe when I recover I might “upgrade” to being a functional hermit.

It’s very difficult for me to have hope and be optimistic and grateful this holiday season. Especially since I’ve been waiting and waiting for symptoms to lessen or go away, but my brain has 24/7 been trapped in this alternate universe that’s hell. I also never have windows, not even glimpses of near normalcy. My brain is so far gone. When I was 22, I wanted to reach 30 because this is the year I could really start settling down and building my life after moving everywhere for training and work. Now that I’m 30, ironically, life is already over. and all I think about is dying so that misery isn’t prolonged.

For those that read this sad and dark post, thanks for listening. Anyone have any uplifting words to say I appreciate even more. I just don’t know the point anymore.

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2019, 08:44:38 pm »

[Buddie]

So, I have been ill and unable to work and largely housebound since 1996. All my then friends have had careers and bought homes and had families. I have nothing.

You will almost certainly feel well enough to live a worthwhile life in another year or two.

If your life is pointless where does that leave me? I am 51 now and even if I survive WD I will still have the underlying physical issues I was on Benzos for.

What does it say about all chronically sick or disabled people?

You have no idea where life will take you. Once your get through this you will be stronger and more determined than any of your friends plus you should have some real empathy, something g they will never learn unless something shit happens to them because it sounds like you all live a very entitled and unthinking life.

You will be fine.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 09:01:56 pm by [Buddie] »

Re: What's the point in trying anymore? (Trigger warning)
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2019, 08:53:21 pm »

[Buddie]

I know how you are feeling as im on the same boat.

I found my thinking about life is totally controlled by my sx at that moment. Even when sx is less intense with a brain kind of working for a minute, my perspective would be totally different, planning for thousands stuff for life. You are closer to healing everyday, once that day comes, your confidence, desire, motivation will be back more than ever.

When the sx are strong and you are still in depth of this process, try not to think tomorrow or future. Our thinking in this process is irrational only based on what we feel at the moment.

Just focus on each day and keep going. You survived almost a yr and will survive more days that comes, until you dont have to live by surviving moment by moment and then only enjoy every moment.

When these thoughts come, just vent here and we are around to listen to it. It will pass, possibly in just a few hours when the sx are lessoned.