Brainwashed woman wants divorce because husband refuses to believe cult dogma

« on: May 03, 2021, 06:56:13 pm »


I am the point I am contemplating divorce – […] to see if Im overreacting. Hubby was never really supportive of my taper. I have been through a lot- new mom, laid off – got new job and keeping the household together and paying bills. Right?! All while tapering! However, I feel that hubby discounts what Ive been through!!!! Everytime I bring it up? Ok but your better now so…ok but dont discount what Ive been through? Last night I commented on it and got a ok ok yea whatever youre done with that. How can someone who supposedly loves you treat you so poorly after everything ive done with a smile on my face for him? The one time I needed him he wasnt there and continues to not be :-\

41 months off, but utterly destroyed by cult brainwashing, not benzos

Vaccine Pfizer during PAWS anyone? And little update about how I am doing
« on: April 29, 2021, 10:52:00 am »


So it is time to decide. I have got a date to get Pfizers vaccine against covid. I wonder if anyone here have got it and how did it made the effect on paws ?
If it got worse or nothing happend?

I guess stress and fear and a lot of anxiety around the vaccine and side effect, effect on a messed up PAWS body and brain can rev up symptoms?

I am doing better than last year in april and much much better than in april 2019. But still a few sxs that wont leave me. My neuropathy and electric feelings thru body and dr dp ( and all what that include weird vision or sound etc) is still there 24/7 but I am so used to it dont know what normal is anymore. And I have this crazy on off OCD things. Stupid thoughts or fears about everything. This questions about things always start with:
-I go crazy
-say something stupid
-jump infront of a car
-push a stranger infront of a car
– say i wanna divorce
-act weird
-go out naked
-hurt someone
-hurt myself
-drive my car into a line of ppl
Etc…this can repeat over and over
Its better but still very hard to face every day

Tomorrow I am 41 months off. Thats a long time.
But I see improvment. I have start to drive my car again. Today I drove out on the mainroad all by myself and drove to buy eggs and pasta in the supermarket. And I was shaking so nervous but I did it. Last time was 2016!
I walk 1 hour every morning not easy I am dizzy and very fatigued shaking and buzzing all the time inside me . I have lost 16 kilo and my blood pressure is awesome 102/62 and heartrate around 65 it was 140!
But when will this last remaining symptoms stop?
I try to stay positive but it is hard so hard.

My brain tumor wont be removed it its to dangerours to remove it.
The side effects from surgery is bigger than leave it there. It will now be watched every 2 years with MRI and hearing tests. The last MRI in march didnt show any progress. My neurologist said I will lose my hearing in left side but will it be today? Tomorrow? Or in 25 years?

This was a […] update and a question about covid vaccine effect…
« Last Edit: April 29, 2021, 11:39:15 am by [Buddie] »

Kook claims popcorn gave her hangover

Popcorn Hangover....Really?
« on: April 08, 2021, 03:10:53 pm »


Feeling sorry for myself and trying to weather through a splitting headache last evening, I asked my husband to buy me Skinny Girl Popcorn and some ginger ale to snack on while Netflix watching. Uug…..boy did I wake up feeling awful with GI issues, worse headache than last night, and overall icky feeling. Going to be hard to get up and get dressed for my MRA scheduled for 3 p.m. today. So, I guess no more popcorn for this buddy! Sure wish I could string together more than three to four days in a row of feeling well!!!! Just when I get in a nice rhythm, boom, the hatch closes on my weary head and the waves rush back in I sure hope to high heaven that those reading this are feeling good, great, greatest

Addict follows benzo cult guru Ashton into oblivion

Please help spatial awareness disorientation issues
« on: April 03, 2021, 08:32:56 am »


Hi I’m new here
I’m feeling so distressed. I feel like I Search and Search but can’t find my exact symptoms.
I’m wondering if anyone who has spatial awareness issues can tell me what they experience.
I’m finding it so hard to put into words what I’m experiencing but basically everything feels off centre.
I can’t comprehend straight walls i over think everything and I feel disoriented. And try and square things off almost. I have only left the house a handful of times the last few months and when I do the roads feel off like they should go more to the left or right. Like the direction is slightly off.
I’m finding this so unbearable has anyone experienced these symptoms
I feel like I’m going crazy.
I tapered from diazepam Using Ashton method but these symptoms have worsened since weaning off propranolol.
I just can’t seem to get my mind to stop overthinking about this
Please help
Much love