Xanax no longer fun for addict

Feeling like such a failure...
« on: May 26, 2017, 09:48:48 pm »

[Buddie]

:(

Tonight my husband took me out to a local historical attraction. It was a pleasant evening. The weather had cooled off and I knew that walking would be good for me. I had asked him to take me out this evening for some air. Plus I was excited to be able to face what anxiety I’ve been having and work through it. Prove to myself I was safe. I had been feeling a bit jumpy and anxious all day but yesterday when we went out,  I had quickly dealt with it and felt really decent.

Tonight all of a sudden the panic hit me hard. I told him as we were walking up the steps to the memorial I felt anxious. My breathing was funny and my heart of course was pounding.  :-\ We sat for a while and I calmed down. We talked about it and took some pictures and even though I was anxious I was working through it. Off and on the anxiety just kept hitting me. As soon as I calmed down it was back.

Then we stopped to get sandwiches for dinner and while I waited in the car I started feeling awful. My head was hurting,  my neck hurting…I swear to God I started feeling “withdrawal” symptoms but I know it was just my anxiety.  >:(

I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to jump out of my skin! My pulse was normal but I just felt like my while body was vibrating with flight or fight you know?

I had .5mg of a Xanax in  my pocket that I carry around FOREVER but I never take it. Like a safety thing. I know, stupid. I broke down and said screw it. I was so angry and just to wanted to feel better for once since starting this weaning…so I let it start dissolving (not a oral tab btw ) on my tongue. I could feel the saliva building up and taste it on my tongue, the xanax, and then I opened the door to the car and spit it out!  I was so ashamed for being weak ya’ll.  :-[ How could I do this????????

I worry I sat myself back and I just feel like a big loser because I couldn’t handle the freaking anxiety and I wondered why I thought I could ever do this.

I am only coming up on three weeks and I read all of you doing so well and I’m like WHAT A FAILURE!!!

Thanks for listening.

American Journal of Public Health benzodiazepine overdose mortality study’s conclusions admittedly flawed

Increasing Benzodiazepine Prescriptions and Overdose Mortality in the United States, 1996–2013

Marcus A. BachhuberMD, MSHP, Sean HennessyPharmD, PhD, Chinazo O. CunninghamMD, MS, and Joanna L. StarrelsMD, MS
Abstract

Objectives. To describe trends in benzodiazepine prescriptions and overdose mortality involving benzodiazepines among US adults.

Conclusions. Benzodiazepine prescriptions and overdose mortality have increased considerably. Fatal overdoses involving benzodiazepines have plateaued overall; however, no evidence of decreases was found in any group. Interventions to reduce the use of benzodiazepines or improve their safety are needed.

In 2013, an estimated 22 767 people died of an overdose involving prescription drugs in the United States.1 Benzodiazepines, a class of medications with sedative, hypnotic, anxiolytic, and anticonvulsant properties, were involved in approximately 31% of these fatal overdoses.1 In 2008, an estimated 5.2% of American adults filled 1 or more benzodiazepine prescriptions2; however, little is known about national trends over time. We investigated trends in prescriptions of benzodiazepines and fatal overdoses involving benzodiazepines among adults in the United States.

Methods

Overdose deaths involving benzodiazepines were extracted from multiple-cause-of-death data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from 1999 to 2013.4 We defined overdose deaths involving benzodiazepines as fatal drug or alcohol poisonings (International Classification of Diseases, 10th Revision,5 codes X40–X45, X60–X65, Y10–Y15) when a benzodiazepine was also coded (T42.4). This captures all overdose deaths determined by the physician, medical examiner, or coroner to involve a benzodiazepine, including those involving other medications or illicit drugs.

Results

Discussion

Between 1996 and 2013, overdose mortality involving benzodiazepines rose at a faster rate than did the percentage of individuals filling prescriptions and the quantity filled. This could be the result of several factors. First, increases in the total quantity filled reflected both an increase in the number of individuals filling benzodiazepine prescriptions and substantial increases in the amount each individual received. Among people who filled benzodiazepine prescriptions, the median quantity filled over the year more than doubled between 1996 and 2013, suggesting either a higher daily dose or more days of treatment, which potentially increased the risk of fatal overdose.6 Second, people at high risk for fatal overdose may be obtaining diverted benzodiazepines (i.e., not directly from medical providers). The proportion of fatal overdoses involving diverted versus prescribed benzodiazepines is unknown. Finally, increases in alcohol use or combining benzodiazepines with other medications (e.g., opioid analgesics) could increase the risk of fatal overdose and explain this rise. Prescribing of opioid analgesics increased rapidly during most of the period examined,7,8 concomitant benzodiazepine use among those prescribed opioid analgesics is common,8,9 and opioids are involved in an estimated 75% of the overdose deaths involving benzodiazepines.10 The leveling off of overdose mortality involving benzodiazepines was coincident with the time when efforts to improve opioid safety were becoming widespread and overdose deaths involving opioid analgesics stabilized.11

http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/full/10.2105/AJPH.2016.303061

Patients pushback on MA benzo bill (read comments section)

Benzo Buddies has a group for people that are dizzy; it is 478 pages long and counting

They call it “The Dizziness Group: For those who are floating, boating, falling or flying” and here are a few of their symptoms:

  • Dizziness
  • Disequilibrium
  • Floaty boat/floating/boatiness/boaty
  • Vertigo
  • Falling
  • Flying
  • Wobbling
  • Undulating
  • Bobbing
  • Rocking
  • Swaying
  • Wooshy
  • Fishbowl head
  • Magic carpet ride
  • Banging into walls
  • Pushed and pulled
  • Force field
  • Magnetic force
  • Moving floors/tilting floors
  • Resisting the current
  • Up and down elevators
  • Pulsating to the rhythm of the heartbeat

Seasonal allergies affect benzo withdrawal?

Are seasonal allergies worse during withdrawal?
« on: May 24, 2017, 01:42:03 am »

[Buddie]

The past two years I’ve had what I’ve assumed were horrible seasonal allergies. It’s mainly sinus pressure and congestion. I also feel like my ears have water in them, but when I’ve had them checked the doc doesn’t see anything. I know benzo withdrawal causes a host of problems and affects the immune system. Wondering what the science involved is with the allergies being so bad. I’ve had no sinus or ear infections but sometimes the pressure between my eyes is just unbearable. Any thoughts?

Re: Are seasonal allergies worse during withdrawal?
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2017, 01:43:42 am »

[Buddie]

I think so, its been YEARS since mine have been this bad.

Re: Are seasonal allergies worse during withdrawal?
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2017, 09:07:14 pm »

[Buddie]

Yes, mine have been worse this year since I got off benzos. I think withdrawal can ramp up any other health issues we have. I think maybe that withdrawal puts us in an inflammatory, reactive state and our bodies can over react to all kinds of things-old and new…ugh.

Mind control cult brainwashes terrified addict into fearing wife and daughter

Scared to leave bedroom.
« on: May 24, 2017, 11:20:03 am »

[Buddie]

Today is my 14 year wedding anniversary I can’t even leave my bedroom because I am scared everything including my wife and daughter. This makes absolutely no sense and it really bothers me. I have an appointment with a therapist this morning and I don’t think I can even make it out of the bed. I’m trembling in complete fear. I know people say they get this but I really think that I’m permanently damaged. How the hell can I be scared of my own wife and daughter? What the f*** is wrong with me? Today is the 6th day in a row with no sleep and spent 3 hours last night suffering an anxiety attack so bad that I was convinced I was going to die it felt the blood leave my limbs and my head was popping out of my chest. I know people say things get better but I really don’t know if I could hold on any longer. I really wonder why I can’t just fall asleep and not wake up so I could be put out of this misery