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Benzo Buddies member begs to be committed

Can someone tell me what this symptom is.
« on: August 24, 2018, 12:58:14 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m textin and messaging my family, it as if a robot is doing it everything is automotive I don’t have any emotional response to the things I’m sending.

I’m actually sending them things which will easily have me committed or in a worse position.

I feel my sense of self slipping away completely, all automatic actions and responses.

All down to these pills I was fine before.

I’ve thought about reinstating.

Can anyone pin point what this?

“I woke up in the loony bin”

I'm not religious but I now believe in hell.
« on: August 22, 2018, 12:42:43 am »

[Buddie]

Hello, I have been on 2mg of klonopin for almost two years. I have panic disorder and bipolar 1. I have been on countless meds over the years for my bipolar and nothing seems to help I keep finding myself in mania. I was prescribed klonopin for my panic disorder and major anxiety following a series of bad events that happened in 2016.
On July 31st in a manic episode, I (stupidly) went and got drunk, and found myself in a very dark place and long story short I tried to overdose on my klonopin. I woke up the next day in the Looney bin on a 72 hour hold where they wouldn’t give me any klonopins but didn’t have any problem giving me 1 mg ativan every 4 hours to treat early withdrawal. I am now on day 18 of a cold turkey and I can’t even describe the hell i am feeling.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2018, 01:29:27 am by [Buddie] »

Benzo Buddies forces abused member to choose between cult and family

Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:16:29 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m the caregiver for my elderly parents. Today they said they’ve had enough of my debilitating symptoms and that I’m choosing to be this way. That I need to see a psychiatrist because they can’t take it anymore. It’s been 2 yrs. and NOTHING is better. Which is true. I don’t know what to do. This is destroying my family. I have no siblings. I tried to explain.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2018, 09:50:00 pm »

[Buddie]

I can so relate!

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm »

[Buddie]

I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2018, 10:10:20 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 19, 2018, 09:54:26 pm
I’m devastated. It’s my own fault for taking the medication no one forced me.

F4M

You didn’t know… None of us knew.

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:30 pm »

[Buddie]

Now, I have to pay the price. It’s been a nightmare and it keeps getting worse. I’m losing everyone I love. I either have to go back on or lose my life. It’s that real.

F4m

Re: Family Is Fed Up!!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2018, 10:34:56 pm »

[Buddie]

Your parents are fed up? Doesn’t sound like they appreciate what you are trying to do. Can you let them go find their own help? I am sorry but your priority needs to be YOU right now and they could be preventing you from healing. Bye Bye Mom and Dad! That is what I would do. Sorry.

Benzo Buddies orders terrified addict to ignore doctor, reject psychiatric medication

Hello, My Story
« on: August 17, 2018, 01:25:54 pm »

[Buddie]

Hi. I’m in a bad situation because I decided to smoke weed with friends about three months ago and only one hit threw me into a mood frenzy. I was an insomniac for a week after, non stop crying, paranoid, and panic attacks. So I managed to get 1mg Xanax from a friend which I used for about 14 days at night for sleep to reset my sleep. The last four days, I cut it to .5mg and then .25mg. I then stopped because I felt fine. However, I have been having up and down mood swings, palpitations that make me fear a heart attack, restlessness, shaking, paranoia, and what feels like chronic fatigue. I fear for my life like the weed may have cause tachycardia or mitral valve prolapse. Is this just from my underlying anxiety or the CT from the xanax? I got a shaky episode the other night and had to use one to stop the tremors and feel it was a bad idea. I see a psychiatrist Monday and I am terrified because I can’t tell the doctor about the weed or the xanax because the medicine was not prescribed to me and I could get in trouble. What do I do? I fear my life may never be the same again. I am weak and tremoring as I write this. What if I’m developing mental illness? The only option is for the psych to prescribe me benzos or ssris. I don’t want either.

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2018, 01:37:37 pm »

[Buddie]

Hello […],

Welcome to Benzo Buddies! I’m sorry you had such a severe effect from marijuana. Some strains can in fact increase anxiety, it appears you might have experienced this. Additionally, there might have been other substances in the marijuana that cause your reaction.

You took xanax for about two weeks. The recommended length of time for taking benzos is a maximum of two to three weeks, so you are right in that time frame. You are most likely feeling the effects from stopping xanax. There is likely to be withdrawal effects of some kind after two weeks of use. I do believe that these symptoms should ease up though, it may take a little while though.

If it were me, I would explain to the doctor what started your issues. If you don’t explain the cause, it is likely that the doctor will diagnose you with an anxiety disorder. If you didn’t have issues like this before using marijuana, then the effects you felt were due to the weed.

Your central nervous system took a hit with the marijuana and xanax. It may take a little while for things to settle, but they will. Try to distract from what you feel so that the fear doesn’t cause more issues.

I’ll give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about benzos and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field. The manual does discuss tapering in detail but IMO, I would not suggest this for you. If it were me, I’d stay away from benzos and allow my body to recover.

I’ll also give you a link to the Post Withdrawal Recovery Board where you can post and receive feedback from members.

Your life will be the same, once your system recovers. I know this can be frightening, I felt the same way when I was directed to stop ativan for a medical test. I’m glad you’ve joined, you’ll find a lot of good information and support here. It’s going to be OK.

The Ashton Manual

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

[…]  :)

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm »

[Buddie]

Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2018, 06:29:15 pm »

[Buddie]

Quote from: [Buddie] on August 17, 2018, 02:13:00 pm
Thanks. If my psych has to give me something, what would be the best route as I am terrified of those withdrawals as well?

You don’t have to take any medication if offered. It is your body and you can make the decision as to what to put in it. I didn’t even know what a benzo was when I was prescribed it. I had no idea about it’s potential for dependency or withdrawal. I learned a big lesson; be proactive about what I take and question everything.

It’s been my experience that ‘some’ doctors want to medicate everything when there are other alternatives.

[…] :smitten:

Re: Hello, My Story
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2018, 07:04:06 pm »

[Buddie]

Yeah. I also forgot to mention that three days before the weed incident, I CT’d beer completely and for the past year I was drinking three to four to five a day. Could that have something to do with what I am going through maybe?